If you motherfuckers don't vote for Obama, I will continue killing you fucks with tornadoes.

I mean, come ON. I hit Clinton, Arkansas today with tornadoes. DO I HAVE TO SPELL EVERYTHING OUT FOR YOU?

Because I am a gracious Me and a loving Me, I hereby deem that everyone can post here ONE REQUEST, and I will make it so.

You must post the request in the form of a single sentence, and it may only be one wish.

And don't try to fuck around with the rules on this one. I'm God. There are no technical loopholes to use against me.

I have nothing to do with this.

What's up internets? Long time no see!

What should I get Ghandi? That fucker's always hard to shop for.

Sorry about the lack of updates, my devout. Decided to take a God-nap, which is usually pretty lengthy.

Taking a vote: Who would you folks like to see God kill next? Accepting nominations...

If you vote yes on Prop #2, I will send you to hell.

Assholes.

At least I can get some shit to go as planned.

Ha ha ha ha! DIE, YOU BROWN-SKINNED MONKEYS!

Okay, maybe if I start it from the OTHER direction....

ME DAMMIT, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

SO CLOSE!!!!!!

C'mon, baby, c'mon, I already mulligan'd once. I can do it this time. God needs a new pair of shoes.