I'm back! The large Peruvian woman who was keeping me locked up in her basement slipped up yesterday and left a spoon behind after she had taken away my breakfast pudding. I used the spoon to dig a hole through her wall and am now a free man. I managed to make it home despite the lack of clothing and the large tattoo of a vagina that the cold ( Read more... )

I'm in a very pissy mood. I just spent the last three days locked outside of my own house! It all started when that freaky wolf-dog that my sugar thighs insists on sharing our bed with invited me outside for a smoke. Now I should have realised that something fishy was up but he plied me with Malboros and the largest bottle of jagermeister I have ( Read more... )

So I've been pretty blue recently. Now, I'm not one to let my emotions overwhelm me so I've been trying to release my feelings in an appropriate way (that's what my parole officer has been suggesting and I have learnt that it is always best to take her advice). Maybe I should start at the beginning of my pain. Last christmas I sexually harassed ( Read more... )

I think I'm ready to tell you the story of my fishing accident. It all happened over two months ago but still brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it. I was fly fishing at a nearby stream. I was nude and alone. I find that my casts are longer and more precise when I am naked. I also find it very arousing which is why I soon found myself ( Read more... )

I was going over my budget for the place I'm renting and I noticed that my roommates and I were spending ten to twenty dollars a month on toilet paper! I personally have always tried to limit myself to two shits a day and at most seven sheets of toilet paper every visit. Realizing that one of my roommates was using a suspicious amount of toilet ( Read more... )

I've been exploring my body a lot lately ( Read more... )

Wow what an odd summer it has been! I'm sorry it has been such a long time since I updated this journal. I was feeling mighty blue for a spell there and was also under house arrest. It seems that one is not allowed to practice puppetry of the penis on one's own roof. I'm not sure what the basis for such a law could possibly be but the cops showed ( Read more... )

it is soo cold and good

Sad to break the wonderful precedent set on this journal, but as my only real method of discourse it must do. I have had people ask me questions all about the dramatic house of the perve and have been fairly confused for the most part...there really isn't much real drama in the house, more dramatic people and misunderstandings ( Read more... )

One of my worshipers sent me some coke as a present to thank me for all the hard work I do for the naked community. I took it to the beach and snorted it down in one mighty snort. Here's a picture ( Read more... )