Probably not to be taken too seriously. Adult concepts and explicit lyrics. Some lyrics refer to his relationship with Rosalie and the other Cullens. Seriously. This is pretty cracky and sort of supports the eternal fratboy Emmett idea.

( ooc: playlist )

How's my driving?
How am I playing Emmett? Let me know here please.

All comments will be screened and anon enabled but if you want them to be unscreened then that's all good with me - I like back and forth. I'm also cool with chatting about her on AIM and that's on my contact details post.

This is an RP journal for Emmett Cullen from Twilight.

( Application )

[The device clicks into action mid sentence with squawking and the sound of tape being ripped.] Who's fucking awesome? That's right it's me you feathery piece of shit. Okay: Rose, I said it wasn't a belaying pin in my pants! Jesus, this freaking parrot won't shut up; I ate it and it came back. It was tasty though...

Anyway [he claps his hands ( Read more... )

[The device clicks on to a baby screaming as loud as a tiny baby can scream and Emmett trying to calm it down. Where the hell is Rose when you need her? She's good with kids and this baby isn't like Nessie who is freakishly well behaved even with the whole face touching thing.]

Emmettalie Baseball, seriously, you are a robot baby. Shut up.

[ ( Read more... )

[Background noises of something roaring and Emmett laughing his ass off as he races down the hall at speeds no humans should be able to move at.]

Oh hell yes, I knew I wasn't as strong as usual when I woke up here.

[An almighty crash as he manages to barge his way through a door, tearing the head off some sort of monster.]

This is cooler than the ( Read more... )

[The device clicks on and off a few times before Emmett clears his throat, sounding quieter and more restrained than he has since his arrival in the house. He can smell the dead among the house and it's not exactly a smell he enjoys. He's had fun this past week or so but the fact that so many have just dropped dead is unsettling.]

If anyone needs ( Read more... )

Damn...sucks to be you guys right now. I'm guessing sports are again out because no one wants to burn off their precious, precious calories although one or two of you could stand to if you know what I'm saying so if anyone wants to hang, I'll be in the lounge, watching movies and do not fight me for the remote because that's one fight you'll never ( Read more... )

Old Testament shit is going down. I can just imagine Edward, saying it’s the decline in our morals and how uncultured and ghastly our society has become and how corrupt we all are damned.

I guess it sucks if you want water or tea or something but you have refreshing cokes in the fridge right? Personally, I would be all over this shit because it’s ( Read more... )

[After a few minutes of fumbling with buttons, Emmett finally hits the record button.]

Rose? Baby? Carlisle? Jazz? Edward? You guys here? Is this some Volturi shit because if it is then I’m ready to throw down this time. And what the hell’s with this watch Alice? I can’t get this thing off my arm and the shocks aren’t cool unless it’s a sex thing ( Read more... )