Hey. Fuck ups.

If you touch one word in my journal, one fucking semi-colon, I will sue your sorry asses so hard, you'll wish I'd just played a marathon session of racket ball, fucked the towel girl, skipped the shower, and just dragged my sweaty ball-sack across your sorry faces, you pencil-dicked, ass-munching, cock-shingles ( Read more... )

In twenty years, a little bit of Ari Gold hopes that he'll be dead. Sixty terrifies him. Not just because all of his children will be legal (and hopefully still) rich in Hollywood ( Read more... )

Dear fucking everyone and Glenn who is not Peter fucking Cole, right?:

I'm not fucking sorry. I'll never be fucking sorry. And I don't have anything to be fucking sorry about. The end. Signed, sealed, and fucking delivered by some mail room employee because Lloyd has more important things to do for me.

Dear fucking nobody, because I am a ( Read more... )

Which I will finish today. But meanwhile: answering prompts to comms I don't belong to!

( Is there a character that you have always wanted to play, but never dared? Is there a show, movie or some fandom that you wish people would embrace and pick up pups from, because you always wanted to play in that? Is there an Original Character that has long lived inside your head, and you don't play them because you don't think anyone would get them? Is there a character you wish someone would pick up, because your muse would love to play with that pup? Talk about YOUR playing wishes and dreams. )

THAT MEME.

If you want to have your pup have some sort of sexual relations with mine, comment here! I'll write something.

ALAN SHORE? COMMENT AWAY. And the rest of you too.

It's your moment of triumph! Where are you and what are you doing?On my motherfucking cellphone, where the fuck else would I be ( Read more... )

FUCK those FUCKING FUCKS. FUCK them all ( Read more... )

The secret; the ultimate secret to end all secrets, ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, pimps and whores, etcetera and whatthefuckever, is this:

...

(And I ain't talkin' no Oprah book of the month club bullshit.)

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Always. Always. Always make them think they need you more than you need them. That's fucking gold from Gold, kids. You ride ( Read more... )

WHO WANTS TO KNOW???

If you have something you want to tell me, or questions to ask about my pups, or the way I do things with my pups, then please do so now. It can be about how I play them, how I write them, how I see them, or whatever you want to discuss ( Read more... )

On my fucking expensive, fucking expansive desk, there is a bronze plaque with my name engraved on it. It's '06, but I swear: I have fucking dozens of them. We were using '02 as a door stopper at Chez Gold before the wife redecorated.

Ari Gold, they all say. Agent Of The YearI keep the most recent one on display until I win the next year's. ( Read more... )