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beep boop beep boop
My Christ, are the merchants in this city getting tetchy about pop culture references being (accurately and handsomely) being enacted in their stores. I understand that the raw sexual energy I exude melts the frostiest of treats, but calm down everyone. Have a bloody cornetto for God's sake ( Read more... ) -
Important current events, yo
Look. I know this is going to surfuckingprise a lot of you jokers, but in the Den o' Dec we don't watch a lot of what you'd call "news" on the telly.* So thankfully Rab caught this one on his radar and showed it to me today.
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I'm not going to let you down, there are dicks in this post.
First off, can I say to the person who leaked/planted/whatever'ed that story about Diva being knocked up and pissed, I have a gift for you:
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boner jams 2013
Reckon my feet haven't touched the ground anytime in the last week and change. Not because of the reason you think (my wang is so large and debilitating that I need to be pushed around in a wheelchair) but because everything is so perfectly glorious since Liz is 'with childREN' as it were, with the two bambinos finishing cooking in her belly, are ( Read more... ) -
And on the 3rd day He rose and said 'motherfucker, you didn't save me any PEEPS?!'
I am going to absolutely fill my wife to the brim this weekend with the holy spirit. In the biblical sense. If you know what I mean. I reckon you do. I'm talking about Easter, sex pests, and it's a BIG FUCKIN DEAL in the Auditore house because, I don't know if you know this, but we're a bit into that whole 'Italian Catholic' scene ( Read more... ) -
These people are idiots
You know, I like taking pictures as much as the nest guy. A sunset. A family gathering. My wife starkers running around the flat while I chase her making monster noises. What I do. not. fucking. get. is this new fad of people taking pictures of their food.
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[screened to Dajve]
I am at work and bouncing in my bloody chair because IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING and you are going to be the best mom and I can't wait until we have a little Mitchelina or Dajve Jr to call our own and I SWEAR I could feel it moving around in her belleh last night and this is the fucking best thing that is ever going to happen anywhere and you are the ( Read more... ) -
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Fucking JEDWARD, hey? Right raging that the mute one of the two managed to come out on top from Diva's rightful place as queen of IAMAGOOCH (an acronym I am going to miss having an excuse to use). Though maybe it's not all for naught - I suppose maybe she won't say her cooking tastes like 'ttl balls' anymore ( Read more... ) -
1 2 3 4 get yo woman on tha floor
You know what's more pathetic, as a married, completely heterosexual male, than spending Valentine's Day with your single meek-mannered best mate while your smoking hot wife runs around Australia with the two LEAST heterosexual males to have ever lived?
NOTHINGClearly, I spent VDay with Rab and Rojn and his pup Tallie at his place, getting ( Read more... ) -
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You know what the best part about watching your wife be vilified (for being HILARIOUS, frankly) and celebrated (for putting truly revolting things in her mouth that aren't attached to myself) and sharing breathing air with Jedward it's ( Read more... )