Friday marked the two month date since I first laid eyes on Rufus. Of course, this date was also the inception and consummation of the relationship. Time often baffles me. Two months really does not sound like that long, my soul has known Rufus for years, we just never had the opportunity of being face to face before two months ago. When I ( Read more... )

He is coming. We have tried to keep our distance, but to no avail. Distance not because we do not want to be together, but distance required due to our careers. My tongue will taste red wine off of his lips once more. I feel as if I can taste it already, finding my tongue traipsing over my lips slowly. Saturday morning I called him on the ( Read more... )

The days all seem to blend together. I have been disoriented, not knowing if it is night or day because I have kept all of the shades pulled. Hanna returned home on Friday and found me in the study playing. It is the only activity that seems to bring me any joy these days and serves as a distraction from my thoughts. The way her eyes fell upon ( Read more... )

The house is impossibly quiet; I am not used to the silence. It is funny how one takes noise for granted. The soft breathing of someone next to you in bed, the sound of the floors squeaking above from being walked over when you are downstairs with a cup of coffee, the faint sounds of music spilling out of a doorway down the hall. Hanna should be ( Read more... )

New Year's Eve 2002. Tavastia ( Read more... )

Saturday I finally had the opportunity to catch up with Teddy after what had been a few weeks, actually it was more like Sunday morning by that point and I had just returned from having dinner with Ville. Ville left somewhat early that evening and I hung around the restaurant to have a few more drinks at the bar. The meeting was…interesting and ( Read more... )

It is funny to me how two people can see the same situation in different ways. Perhaps I have been more positive than what is normal for me as of late? I am not sure what I was hoping for or what I wanted. A piece of mind? That could be it. Closure? Possibly, but I am not sure how. Is there anything to close on after all? I always figured ( Read more... )

It has become apparent to me that some people like to talk. I think I am a fairly easy person to converse with. I am also very inquisitive, asking many questions. However, sometimes I do not have to ask any questions at all and people just talk and talk, telling me all sorts of sordid details. Things I do not know if I should believe, things I ( Read more... )

I cannot seem to keep the days straight anymore. Often like I have problems telling night from day. These are not bad things, just things that are commonplace to me.

It is odd how you read other people's entries and realise that they are so different from you. I often wonder how other people can relate, or try to relate, or do relate at to me ( Read more... )

It has come time to make the long trip back home. I really hate to leave, I could not be more pleased at this very moment. I feel comfortable here, at home. It is doubtful that anyone will truly understand everything that has gone on between Rufus and I. It would be simplifying things to say that we met face to face, ignited a spark and created ( Read more... )