[the muscles legacy] > 2.3
Catch up for extra credit:
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[ 2.0 ] [ 2.1 ] [ 2.2 ]
[ downloads ]
Warning haiku time:
sex, parties, and a whack of
bedroom stalking fun.
O HAI THAR. Long time no see.
In the past month and a half, I got a PS3 (Ratchet and Clank FTW!), the Orange Box (Half Life ep.2 FTW!), and Dynasty Warriors Strikeforce (Sun Shang Xiang FTW!), so I'll leave it to you to figure out why I haven't been into simsing all that much lately.
*cough, cough*
Anyways!
Last time on the Muscles legacy...
Our slightly batshit insane founder has retreated into his Shifting Stilted Shanty of Precarious Parsnips, where he intends to drink himself into a permastupor.
No, I'm not actually calling it that.
Well...
And in a convenient plot device well thought-out and totally plausible turn of events, Magnum strips GlaDos of her witchiness using her secret new and totally legit magic powers then skips off to university.
Hey! Don't look at me like that!
And now, the continuation:
Ah, the advantage of having second gen kids with an obscene amount in scholarships.
For once, I didn't take stupid amounts of unnecessary buildspam. See? I'm learning.
Derringer: You know, I feel very slightly out of place here.
Roderick (who is still wearing his Halloween costume for whatever reason): Hey, congrats on becoming a witch. That's pretty cool.
Magnum: Oh, thanks. :)
Beretta/Suketsune: W-W-W-WHAAAAT?!
Suketsune: You're looking great today, Mag. ;)
Roderick: Hot damn.
Unnecessary Amount of Streaker: ...every day, I try so goddamn hard, and do I ever get noticed like that? No! *angst, angst!*
Oh, christ. Wrong sister, there.
Roderick: Hey, I'm sure I could pull it off. It's not like they live in the same house or anything...
Suketsune: Say...since we're having a new house party tonight, why don't we make it a new official couple party as well?
Magnum: In bed?
Suketsune: Agreed.
Derringer: LAAAAME. Lame sentimental relationship drivel is LAAAAME.
Roderick: Oh dearest pole,
What light through yonder window breaks?
Is it my love, which froths out of my mouth
Like pop rocks and coke?
Magnum: You guys are dicks.
Magnum: ...but, that did look pretty fun. *noogies*
Roderick: Hey, I kind of liked that sarcastic poetry thing...
Suketsune: You guyyyys...that wasn't cool! D:
Magnum: *laughs callously at the misery*
Derringer Here. You look tense from all that pole-serenading.
So for whatever reason, the kids weren't growing up on their own. Using my mad haxx0r skills of Shift + Click, I had to do things myself.
This one was my test subject.
Suketsune: And I turned out fantastic!
...really, Magnum. Just because he aged up into that...ensemble...it doesn't mean you have to give up on him so quickly.
Magnum: Whatever.
Uninvited Prof the Forty-Fifth: Keep up the studying, kids! :D
Derringer/Uninvited Dormie the Seventy-Seventh: Um...thanks.
Oh, dear god...
Magnum: Hey Roderick. I have a birthday surprise for you...bend over. >:D
Roderick: No, I have a surprise for you...
Magnum: Oh, my Victorian sensibilities!
Derringer: Arrgh! Why is everyone getting some but me?!
Beretta: Hey guys, I'm back from work. What's happening?
Roderick: Um...nothing. At all. But cake! Have some cake.
Beretta: ...I shouldn't press the matter, should I?
Derringer: Probably not.
I wish all my birthday cakes had 28 floating candles.
Beretta: ...whoa, dizzy...wait, did I just grow up into a poodle skirt?
Yeah, you can't tell it from this picture, but her face got wider and looked insanely strange with that hair.
MAKEOVER TIEM?!
Magnum: Don't say it.
...
...why?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!
(no, she actually looks fine...it's just habit by this point.)
Derringer: I grew up in a sane manner. And I'm wearing nice clothes.
That's true!
It was here when I deemed it truly necessary to redo outfits and such.
Beretta: What? I can't pull off the dominatrix look?
Roderick: ...please don't change it, please don't change it...
So...I accidentally made Magnum look just like Sarah Palin. :\
Magnum: Palinized.
...please, let's not start quoting--
Magnum: Drill, baby, drill!
Beretta: Hey, sailing unit. ;)
Derringer: Yeah...I just got a new haircut and a douchebeard, but apparently I still have to pose.
Roderick: ...I grew up too, but do I get any fanfare or modelling contracts...no!
Looking back at my screencaps, I have a good ten unnecessary violin pics.
Pretty sure I weeded most of them out, but no promises.
Roderick: *post-orgasm face*
Beretta: *snore*
Too late?
Magnum: Too late.
Suketsune: Hey babe, where 'ya goin'?
Magnum: ...breakfast.
Suketsune: Ah. That's...that's cool.
Ah, awkward morning-after banter.
Beretta: Oh. My god. Guess what?
Suketsune: What?
Beretta: We should totally set up security cameras and sell the footage as voyeur erotica!
Suketsune: Um, something tells me that's very slightly illegal.
Derringer: Today's themes: speaking over the phone while in the same room and unnecessary streaker action before breakfast. I think I'll stay late after class.
Oh, the sexual tension in this room.
Roderick: NOM NOM NOM
Sarah Palin: ...would you like this section as a napkin, seeing as you've already claimed most of it with your spatter?
Magnum: I wasn't done reading that! RAEG!
The rest of the day was filled with rather creepy uninvited drop-in types.
Kythe: Hey, I'm not creepy! I just have a habit of suggestively gesturing with my eyebrows!
Kythe: And, you know, storingbodiesofmyvictimsinthebasement BUT WHO'S FOR MORE JUICE?
Apparently Suketsune kept his teen job. I'm not really sure why...
Anyways, this choice is a no brainer, really.
The moral: ALWAYS go with the llamas.
Enough said.
I think the main thing wrong with this picture is that people are grinding to violin music.
Um...
Suketsune: I know what you're thinking, but I only kept the teen job for the fatigues.
Um...
Magnum: So, um...d'you think you can sound all, y'know, grizzled and sexy for me?
Suketsune: What, d'you mean like Sean Connery? Shhhaken, not shhhhtirred--
Magnum: Nah, no, think more...Kurtz.
Suketsune: ...the horror, THE HORR-AH--
Magnum: --let's go to bed.
DERRINGER: I AM ZEUS. WITNESS MY WRATH...CAPTURED IN A VERY NICE WORK BY THE ESTEEMED BERETTA MUSCLES! STORMS REFLECT MY INNER FURY. NEXT ON OUR SHOW, WE HAVE THIS LOVELY ANTIQUE MAP I MADE OUT OF CONSTRUCTION PAPER...
Roderick: How the hell...I don't get how writing novels on the computer is supposed to magically make you better at this stupid thing.
Derringer: Don't mind me, just lurking out back.
Ah, digging. The good ol' college standby.
Magnum: So, you brought those bandages home, right?
Suketsune: Yes, ma'am.
Magnum: And the naughty nurse outfit?
Suketsune: Yes, ma'am.
Magnum: And the top-secret nuclear codes?
Suketsune: Yes...wait, what?
Magnum: Just checking.
Roderick: --OH SHIT! I didn't see anything! I swear!
Something tells me he'll never see anything again...
Beretta: Da da daaa...I wonder what Roderick's up to?
Roderick: mmmpht...either of you guys wanna sandwich?
Magnum: GET OUT.
Kawaii Witch Figurine-san: Hello~!
Um...hel--
Kawaii Witch Figurine-san: I'm just here to tell you that Max is a bit of a dork~! He decided to uninstall The Sims from his laptop and put it on his roommate's gaming desktop in spite of the fact that he's going home for the summer and won't have access to it for two or three months so it's just going to go back on his laptop anyways~! So the aspect ratio is a little different and he finds it way harder to take pictures now~! I had tuna for breakfast, and it was KAWAII~! Konichiwa, bitches~!
...STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL(~)!
Beretta: I'm alarmed by the amazing smooth edges on my figure provided by the NEW ATI HD 3450 card!
Magnum: That's right! With the NEW ATI HD 3450, we're delivered a top-of-the-line gaming experience (in 2007) like no other!
Derringer: I have absolutely no idea what either of you are going on about...
I can only assume they're watching The View.
Beretta: Tell 'em, gurl!
Magnum: Damn straight!
Derringer: Wait...isn't that Whoopi Goldberg? Isn't she a nun?
Suketsune: ...never invite ME in to watch tv...bastards...I'll show them! I'll GET A COLD then INFECT THEM ALL! MWAHAHAH!
Beretta: eep!
Roderick: ...what?
Beretta: There's a ghost in the bed! D:
I don't really know what was up with that.
I suppose this is partially my fault for making a sim with 3 mechanical points fix something electronic. >_>
(side note: where did the rest of the laptop go? :\)
Why no, I couldn't pick just one.
(side note II: .gifs are a bitch to make in photoshop. I'm so used to flash...)
(side note III: do they always switch randomly between outfits when shocked or is it just me? :\)
Magnum: ...heh...wazzup?
Suketsune: Um...not much, you?
Magnum: Well, that was strange. I'm heading over to the student union.
Suketsune: Um...your call, I guess.
Magnum: Bonsai get! :D
...was it worth it?
Magnum: Why, yes!
I did make earlier reference to the thousand shot-o'-violin, right?
Having learned my lesson, I had someone call over the good ol' repairman without checking the household funds in time. >_>
Crotchety Repairman Bloke: That there "lap-top" you kids've been using to write yer' "term-papers" dun gone broke! It's 'cause kids these days, yer' all SLACKERS!
Crotchety Repairman Bloke: ...so I'm gonna take this here chair 'cause I saw you a-doodlin' in yer' notebooks as a time-waster while sittin' here earlier! Hah..."art class"...right.
._.
Suketsune: I am Zhuge Liang! I control the very elements on a whim! Witness the power of a prepared mind!
Beretta: Yeah, well...I am the lady of the bow, Sun Shang Xiang! I...run around with very little clothing and, er...make funny noises!
Suketsune: Nice try.
Beretta: Who says a woman has to be weak?
Beretta: Okay, well...I may not be a Chinese warrior princess, but I can still dance to Telephone better than Lady Gaga! See...it's a telephone! I'm hip!
Derringer: You don't like that song.
Beretta: ...shut up.
Kevin: *rage*
Random Townie #718: *rage*
Beretta: Ooh, a rage party? I'm SO in! *smiles*
Kevin: You're doing it wrong.
Beretta: Damnit, I'm hopeless today! D:
Derringer: So...I don't know you, do I?
Kevin: I think I went over to your house once in high school or something.
Derringer: Ahh, that's good enough for me.
Suketsune/Random Townie #783: This does not bode well...
Brown chicken, brown cow...?
Derringer: Hey, um...why do you have sideburns growing out of your ears?
Kevin: Don't ruin this probably-illegal moment.
Derringer: Fine, bitch. Now dance!
Kevin: OHHH HEY WAIT. I just realized I used to be in love with your sister for no real reason at all. But it's all good, I'm totally over that now.
Magnum: Aw. I'm...kind of flattered. :D
Kevin: ...the other sister.
Magnum: ...oh.
Speaking of whom...
Beretta: ...no, actually, I caught him staring at my sister's chest again. I told him it was either a nice meal out or a thermonuclear device up the arse. Speaking of which, I'll go with the stuffed chicken and a side of rice, please.
Not-Paid-Enough Waitress #014: Y--yes, ma'am.
Unsavoury Charlatan: don't mind me, old chaps
Persistent Dormie #384: Hey, doll.
Derringer: Well, you did say you wanted a nice meal. You said nothing about a nice place. I was actually thinking about the backside of a Transformer, but they were all booked up for tonight. It was a drag.
Beretta: You will be paid back in full; trust me.
Persistent Dormie #384: Gimme a call sometime, betch.
Beretta: MAH HEART WILL GO ONNNNNNNN--
Derringer: I am never crossing her again.
Beretta: Now that revenge has been suitably dealt, I demand sudden and frivolous makeup sex...aw, hell.
Pack-o'-Prof: Why, hello-oo there.
Kythe: I tried to warn you guys, but your phone's busy. They swarmed me.
Red Blazer Specimen A: ...that behaviour is unacceptable for a public forum, I do declare...
Red Blazer Specimen B: ...wherever has that young woman gotten off to? I wish to lecture her on the utter foolishness of modeling one's appearance upon Sarah Palin...
Red Blazer Specimen C: ...hello-oo there, young man. Whatever are you doing out so late at night?
Sepsis: Just ignore them. Just go about your creepy stalking and ignore them.
Beretta: ...Der, our door was locked. How the hell did they beat us inside?
Derringer: Just make for the bed and pretend they aren't there.
Stuffy Old Bloke: ...I do declare!...I shall shield my eyes!
Sepsis: You may have forced me to run away this time, but I'll be back.
Sepsis: That's a promise.
Sepsis: On second thought, I'm totally okay with stalking you during sex, so HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE A COLUMN!
._.
Sepsis: Hm. Questionable choice of end table, and this lamp has seen better days.
Mid WooHoo-Yodelling: *continues*
Think of the children! Won't someone please think of the children?
Magnum: Love what they've done with the place.
Suketsune: Yeah. You sure they won't mind us intruding?
Magnum: Positive.
Magnum: And hey, once she clears out, we could probably just hop into their--
Beretta: If either of you so much as touch our bed unclothed, Roderick is going urinate in your cauldron.
Magnum: ...heard me, did you?
Beretta: Yeah.
Magnum: Well, I suppose our own bed isn't that--um, hello.
Kythe: Hey guys. What's going on?
Suketsune: ...not much, looks like.
Suketsune: Mag? Was there always a giant cow watching us from across the room?
Magnum: Yes. Now go to sleep.
Mascot McCreeper: Aw, you two are boring. Im'ma look for someone more fun to watch.
Mascot McCreeper: Now this is more like it.
Roderick: Beretta...he's back.
Beretta: I'll grab the rolled up newspaper...
Roderick: ...hey, guys. You awake?
Magnum: We are now.
Roderick: Oh...can I sleep here? There was a giant cow, and...Beretta got it with a newspaper, but I'm scared there might be more, and--
Magnum: Yeah, yeah. Grab a blanket.
Roderick: Thanks.
UNNECESSARY STEAM LOGIN CAPTURE.
Ahh, now my username is public knowledge! The horror!
Unnecessary Amount of Coach: RISE AND SHINE, YOU WORMS!
Suketsune: Bad dream. Back to sleep.
Derringer: Say hello to Comrade Bear, Roderick!
Roderick: ...I don't want to.
Derringer: SAY HELLO! D<
Roderick: H--hello!
Oh, poli-sci major humour.
I don't get it.
Ignore the problem and it will go away.
Mascot McCreeper: No, I won't.
So then I had a little brain fault and told Magnum and Roderick to cuddle 'cos I thought they were together. >_>
HAHA, I DISRUPT YOUR LITTLE CORNER OF THE SKY, BITCHES.
Suketsune: I...I am not a fan of this.
Beretta: I would not fan this on Facebook.
Suketsune: I would not fan this here nor there.
Beretta: I would not fan this ANYWHERE. *makes towards kitchen knife*
Magnum: Um...Der, I think they saw us...
Beretta: I am going to cut that bitch open then go all Sander Cohen on her ass and photograph her body as public art.
Derringer: Damn, she's hot.
Magnum: Well, that sucks. I'm hungry.
Derringer: ...what the fuck just happened?
Beretta: There are no words to describe the unimaginable ways in which I WILL CRUSH YOUR BALLS FOR INFIDELITY. D<
Roderick: Ooh. So scared.
Roderick: *snicker* loo-ser...
Magnum: Heh...dinner and a show.
Roderick: ...wait...oh god, what have I done?!
Magnum: Nah, go back to sarcasm. It was funnier.
Roderick: I suppose...you know, I was thinking about ending things for awhile.
Magnum: Alright, well, you can move your stuff into my room anytime.
Beretta: Life sucks.
Callousness, thy name is pizza faces.
Roderick: Moving can happen later.
Derringer: So, did anyone notice I was in the room for that entire escapade?
Derringer: Head. Desk.
Well, that was sudden.
Beretta: Painting does take my mind off this. It does. I've only stabbed the brush through the canvas seven times. No big.
Derringer: Tennis racket.
Beretta: Tennis racket?
Derringer: Tennis racket. Sure, you might have to pin them down to get a good wind up, but...tennis racket. Every guy has had this fear at some point.
Beretta: You are the best brother in history.
Oh, autonomous actions that make you go 'aww' and feel slightly bad 'cos they're realistic.
Suketsune: Berretta said I could play with her violin, you know.
Ah.
Suketsune: This means we're in love now, you know. We're in love.
...ah.
Well, I'm glad to see you two have reached a routine so soon.
Magnum: ...so you don't think there was any better way to start a relationship.
Derringer: I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that in this case, it's easy to make the best of a shitty move.
Magnum: Assuming my sister doesn't kick us out of the house.
Derringer: Hey, all of our names are on the lease. She'll come around eventually.
Magnum: So...you're sure you're not going to dump me unceremoniously for my sister for the sake of equality?
Derringer: Promise.
Some people pinky swear.
Beretta: And now for our next lovely item: these random rocks I picked up off a beach! I found these somewhere in Twikkii Island on our trip after...um, after Mom died, and Roderick, he...
Derringer: You're awesome, Beretta. I love you.
Beretta: Life really sucks, you know?
Derringer: I know.
So these three formed a strangely tight relationship since, well, half the household isn't speaking to the other half.
Sims cliques. It's kind of hilarious.
So, um...has anyone actually watched the 'Cat Lady' movie in its entirety?
That shit's actually kind of creepy. o_O
Derringer: *shoves* Out of my way.
Roderick: Aw, great. Now what'd I do to you?
Derringer: You screwed over my sister, that's what! Did all the death threats I made when you started dating her never sink in or something?
Roderick: ...oh yeah...
No, really. He's not pleased.
._. I don't know exactly why he was furious at them in terms of game mechanics.
Beretta: Dear diary. Mood: apathetic. Today--h..hey! You can't just teleport in here anytime you want, you stupid tramp.
Magnum: Yeah, well, I'm just...I'm tired of us fighting, Beretta.
Beretta: You stole my boyfriend! It's nowhere near that simple!
Magnum: I know. And I'm sorry. I'm going to make this up to you, starting now.
Beretta: Oh, no. You are NOT magicking your way out of this one, you--
Beretta: --oh!
Beretta: It's a kitteh! :D
Magnum: His name's .356. He's conjured, so he won't die or need a litterbox or anything, but...I thought we could all use someone...I don't know, neutral around here.
Beretta: While I am aware he's just a magic ruse to sway my emotions HE'S SO CUTE! :D
Next time on the Muscles legacy...
Rebounds, house parties, and MOAR FIGHT!
I also have most of the pictures taken, so it'll be up pretty soon. Assuming I remember, that is.
Night!