In The Wrong Pt 7
Title: "In the Wrong" 7/10
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Warning: Mild swearing, some language not suitable for children. Hell this whole fic isn't suitable for children.
Summary: Seungri tried so hard. So why did it feel that no matter what happened he always ended up in the wrong?
A/N:Thank you to everyone who provided me with GRI fodder while my computer wasn't working! It was very ispiring!!
Oh, and i took a little creative licensing when it comes to how Big Bang was formed cause it fits my fic better.
~*~
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Epilogue
~*~
Sometimes when he watched the easy way Jiyong succeeded at everything it made him so jealous. He had to beg and work harder than everyone else just to be ‘pretty ok.’. Seunghyun tried to understand, but there was no way he could possibly. Everything he touched turned to gold. He had music and shows and modeling. Daesung had his humor and Youngbae had his kind heart. He tried to look at them all and not get jealous, but it was so hard.
Seunghyun placed a heavy hand on his arm and looked at him in concern. He tried to smile and pretend that just because someone loved him it made everything better. It must have worked because he turned back to the movie and pulled him closer. It was awkward being held by someone as gentle as Seunghyun. His hands always glided like a breeze and his kisses were given like water over his skin. He held him like he knew he would get up and walk away at any moment. Like he didn’t want to hold him back when the inevitable happened. For some reason that didn’t make him as sad as it should have.
The light from the TV turned the skin of their connected hands blue and gold. Seungri tried to imagine a life full of nights in front of the TV. Maybe he would find a way to love him. Maybe they would just float along because they could. Maybe they would end up breaking each other.
He didn’t have time to ponder their fate any longer because a frightening shadow descended upon the living room. Seunghyun immediately sat straighter and looked at Seungri. Watching for twinges of regret or longing. Seungri knew all these things. He also knew he didn’t care. Not when Jiyong was standing in the entryway looking like his heart had fallen out his body and alcohol wafting off his body in waves.
“W-what?” He gaped at Seungri. He took a step closer to the couple slowly separating on the couch and sneered maliciously. “You move on so quick Seungri-ah.”
“Hyung…” He reached his hand out as if to stop the moment from infecting the tenuous peace the house held. “it’s not what it looks like.”
“It’s not, Ri?” He could hear the hurt in Seunghyun’s voice and it almost made him regret it. “because I thought I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. But that’s obviously not what you thought.”
“Hyun, this isn‘t the time…”
“Oh, you call him Hyun now?! Isn’t that sweet!”
“You’re drunk, Jiyong. And you need to go to bed. We all need to go to bed.” Seungri placed a firm hand on Seunghyun’s chest. Carefully he eyed him. Silently begging him not to make a huge deal. He nearly sighed in relief when he looked away and huffed.
“Fine.”
Jiyong watched their silent words and squinted his eyes in anger. It swelled up in chest and got fed by the alcohol raging in his blood. By the time Seungri had turned back around to help his hyung to bed, Jiyong had already swaggered up to him. He lifted his hand and no one missed Seungri’s subtle flinch. His hand slowly ran across his cheek and he watched it’s path closely.
“Have you fucked him yet?” He threw out at Seunghyun like he’d asked if they had bought milk at the grocery store.
“Jiyong!” Seungri’s wide eyes were not enough to deter his spiteful smile.
“Cause I have and I’ll tell you, if you haven’t, you’re really missing out.”
“Jiyong, please!” He fought to control the panic ebbing at the sides of his brain. Jiyong had brought his hand down to his chest and held it over his heart. His eyes were bloodshot as they tore into his sight.
“Did you know that this beats only for me?”
“Why are you doing this, Jiyong!?” Seunghyun’s voice quaked over his shoulder in untold rage. Jiyong was just drunk enough to scoff and push away from the maknae. He had turned and walked two steps away when Seunghyun brushed past Seungri with shaking fist and he felt a whole new fear grip his heart.
“Are you so bitter than you have to fuck up everything just because someone broke you?!” Jiyong didn’t pause for more than second before his alcohol addled brain turned him around and forced him to grip Seunghyun’s shirt tightly.
“Shut the hell up about things you couldn’t possibly understand!” His eyes blazed and Seungri took a step forward to stop the fight that was likely to break out.
“You’ve been sinking for years, Jiyong. If I’d stepped in sooner, maybe you wouldn’t be so messed up, but that’s my mistake. I’m not going to let you take it out on Seungri. He doesn’t deserve it.”
“You of all people have no right to ask anything of me.”
“Why!? Because of what happened to you? I care about you, but damn it, Jiyong. You need to sort your shit out.”
“What happened to me? No need to censor it for the maknae. He’s old enough to know what his boyfriend did. Or didn’t do, as the case may be.” He brushed off the hand on his arm and staggered over to the shaken boy. “Your beloved Seunghyun watched our old dance instructor keep me behind for “special instruction” for 2 months before he decided it was affecting our fledgling group too much and told someone.”
Tears sprung to Seungri’s eyes as he watched the leader coldly recall his pain like it was someone else’s.
“They all pretended like it didn’t happen. Told me I had to take it and let it just make me stronger. Focus on my work.” His eyes grew dull and he gazed at Seungri with shuttered eyes; too broken to face the world. It made him want to beg for forgiveness and promise he would never do anything to hurt him. Never let anything else hurt him. “They didn’t care that I was…not whole.”
“I didn’t know, Jiyong. I swear I didn’t know.” Seunghyun sounded as broken as Jiyong looked. He gripped the leaders wrist in his hand and pulled him to his chest easily. “I didn’t know what he did to you.”
He might have expected hurt or tears, but he didn’t expect a right hook to the nose.
“Of course you knew!“ He spit at the man on the ground. “Everyone knew! But no one did shit to stop him! You all left me alone to take care of it by myself then were shocked when I didn‘t come out right!”
His voice boomed through the empty apartment and Seungri couldn‘t decide whether help the bleeding man on the ground or the broken one in front of him. Seunghyun averted his eyes in shame.
“He raped me, hyung. You were supposed to be my friend. My brother. But you stood by and let that happen to me.”
“Jiyong, I know I didn’t do right by you and I know there is nothing I could ever do to make that up to you but,” Seunghyun slowly rose to his feet and took a step towards the leader. “that can’t be an excuse for everything you do.”
Jiyong took a step back and clenched his fists.
“Fuck you.”
Slowly, Seunghyun reached for the maknae and held his hand tightly in his. Seungri glanced down and felt sick. This was all so wrong. This was not how things were supposed to be.
“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. But you have to leave him alone.” Seungri’s heart beat rapidly and he had the inexplicable urge to scream. Didn’t he get any say in his own life at all?
Jiyong dropped his head and gazed lividly at the carpet.
“No.” His eyes locked with Seunghyun’s in challenge. “I won’t.”
“Jiyong, think about what you’re doing to him! Don’t you care about him at all!?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then why can’t you just do what’s best for him? Why can’t you just let him go?!”
“Because he’s mine!” His voice carried though every space of the apartment and filled every crack and wedge with it’s weight. Jiyong’s chest was heaving and his eyes were wild. Seungri knew it was just the alcohol talking but his heart still swelled with an uncomfortable surge of hopedesirelove. Jiyong’s eyes softened and landed against his. “Maknae’s mine.” He whispered.
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Warning: Mild swearing, some language not suitable for children. Hell this whole fic isn't suitable for children.
Summary: Seungri tried so hard. So why did it feel that no matter what happened he always ended up in the wrong?
A/N:Thank you to everyone who provided me with GRI fodder while my computer wasn't working! It was very ispiring!!
Oh, and i took a little creative licensing when it comes to how Big Bang was formed cause it fits my fic better.
~*~
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Epilogue
~*~
Sometimes when he watched the easy way Jiyong succeeded at everything it made him so jealous. He had to beg and work harder than everyone else just to be ‘pretty ok.’. Seunghyun tried to understand, but there was no way he could possibly. Everything he touched turned to gold. He had music and shows and modeling. Daesung had his humor and Youngbae had his kind heart. He tried to look at them all and not get jealous, but it was so hard.
Seunghyun placed a heavy hand on his arm and looked at him in concern. He tried to smile and pretend that just because someone loved him it made everything better. It must have worked because he turned back to the movie and pulled him closer. It was awkward being held by someone as gentle as Seunghyun. His hands always glided like a breeze and his kisses were given like water over his skin. He held him like he knew he would get up and walk away at any moment. Like he didn’t want to hold him back when the inevitable happened. For some reason that didn’t make him as sad as it should have.
The light from the TV turned the skin of their connected hands blue and gold. Seungri tried to imagine a life full of nights in front of the TV. Maybe he would find a way to love him. Maybe they would just float along because they could. Maybe they would end up breaking each other.
He didn’t have time to ponder their fate any longer because a frightening shadow descended upon the living room. Seunghyun immediately sat straighter and looked at Seungri. Watching for twinges of regret or longing. Seungri knew all these things. He also knew he didn’t care. Not when Jiyong was standing in the entryway looking like his heart had fallen out his body and alcohol wafting off his body in waves.
“W-what?” He gaped at Seungri. He took a step closer to the couple slowly separating on the couch and sneered maliciously. “You move on so quick Seungri-ah.”
“Hyung…” He reached his hand out as if to stop the moment from infecting the tenuous peace the house held. “it’s not what it looks like.”
“It’s not, Ri?” He could hear the hurt in Seunghyun’s voice and it almost made him regret it. “because I thought I was watching a movie with my boyfriend. But that’s obviously not what you thought.”
“Hyun, this isn‘t the time…”
“Oh, you call him Hyun now?! Isn’t that sweet!”
“You’re drunk, Jiyong. And you need to go to bed. We all need to go to bed.” Seungri placed a firm hand on Seunghyun’s chest. Carefully he eyed him. Silently begging him not to make a huge deal. He nearly sighed in relief when he looked away and huffed.
“Fine.”
Jiyong watched their silent words and squinted his eyes in anger. It swelled up in chest and got fed by the alcohol raging in his blood. By the time Seungri had turned back around to help his hyung to bed, Jiyong had already swaggered up to him. He lifted his hand and no one missed Seungri’s subtle flinch. His hand slowly ran across his cheek and he watched it’s path closely.
“Have you fucked him yet?” He threw out at Seunghyun like he’d asked if they had bought milk at the grocery store.
“Jiyong!” Seungri’s wide eyes were not enough to deter his spiteful smile.
“Cause I have and I’ll tell you, if you haven’t, you’re really missing out.”
“Jiyong, please!” He fought to control the panic ebbing at the sides of his brain. Jiyong had brought his hand down to his chest and held it over his heart. His eyes were bloodshot as they tore into his sight.
“Did you know that this beats only for me?”
“Why are you doing this, Jiyong!?” Seunghyun’s voice quaked over his shoulder in untold rage. Jiyong was just drunk enough to scoff and push away from the maknae. He had turned and walked two steps away when Seunghyun brushed past Seungri with shaking fist and he felt a whole new fear grip his heart.
“Are you so bitter than you have to fuck up everything just because someone broke you?!” Jiyong didn’t pause for more than second before his alcohol addled brain turned him around and forced him to grip Seunghyun’s shirt tightly.
“Shut the hell up about things you couldn’t possibly understand!” His eyes blazed and Seungri took a step forward to stop the fight that was likely to break out.
“You’ve been sinking for years, Jiyong. If I’d stepped in sooner, maybe you wouldn’t be so messed up, but that’s my mistake. I’m not going to let you take it out on Seungri. He doesn’t deserve it.”
“You of all people have no right to ask anything of me.”
“Why!? Because of what happened to you? I care about you, but damn it, Jiyong. You need to sort your shit out.”
“What happened to me? No need to censor it for the maknae. He’s old enough to know what his boyfriend did. Or didn’t do, as the case may be.” He brushed off the hand on his arm and staggered over to the shaken boy. “Your beloved Seunghyun watched our old dance instructor keep me behind for “special instruction” for 2 months before he decided it was affecting our fledgling group too much and told someone.”
Tears sprung to Seungri’s eyes as he watched the leader coldly recall his pain like it was someone else’s.
“They all pretended like it didn’t happen. Told me I had to take it and let it just make me stronger. Focus on my work.” His eyes grew dull and he gazed at Seungri with shuttered eyes; too broken to face the world. It made him want to beg for forgiveness and promise he would never do anything to hurt him. Never let anything else hurt him. “They didn’t care that I was…not whole.”
“I didn’t know, Jiyong. I swear I didn’t know.” Seunghyun sounded as broken as Jiyong looked. He gripped the leaders wrist in his hand and pulled him to his chest easily. “I didn’t know what he did to you.”
He might have expected hurt or tears, but he didn’t expect a right hook to the nose.
“Of course you knew!“ He spit at the man on the ground. “Everyone knew! But no one did shit to stop him! You all left me alone to take care of it by myself then were shocked when I didn‘t come out right!”
His voice boomed through the empty apartment and Seungri couldn‘t decide whether help the bleeding man on the ground or the broken one in front of him. Seunghyun averted his eyes in shame.
“He raped me, hyung. You were supposed to be my friend. My brother. But you stood by and let that happen to me.”
“Jiyong, I know I didn’t do right by you and I know there is nothing I could ever do to make that up to you but,” Seunghyun slowly rose to his feet and took a step towards the leader. “that can’t be an excuse for everything you do.”
Jiyong took a step back and clenched his fists.
“Fuck you.”
Slowly, Seunghyun reached for the maknae and held his hand tightly in his. Seungri glanced down and felt sick. This was all so wrong. This was not how things were supposed to be.
“I don’t expect you to ever forgive me. But you have to leave him alone.” Seungri’s heart beat rapidly and he had the inexplicable urge to scream. Didn’t he get any say in his own life at all?
Jiyong dropped his head and gazed lividly at the carpet.
“No.” His eyes locked with Seunghyun’s in challenge. “I won’t.”
“Jiyong, think about what you’re doing to him! Don’t you care about him at all!?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then why can’t you just do what’s best for him? Why can’t you just let him go?!”
“Because he’s mine!” His voice carried though every space of the apartment and filled every crack and wedge with it’s weight. Jiyong’s chest was heaving and his eyes were wild. Seungri knew it was just the alcohol talking but his heart still swelled with an uncomfortable surge of hopedesirelove. Jiyong’s eyes softened and landed against his. “Maknae’s mine.” He whispered.