Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta:
butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts:
Part 1.1 |
Part 1.2 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4.1|
Part 4.2|
Part 5|
Part 6|
Part 7.1|
Part 7.2|
Part 8.1|
Part 8.2|
Part 9|
Part 10|
Part 11 Uruha’s house was in disarray. Scattered about were thick chords, beer bottles, amps and other forms of guitar equipment, some of which were the things that Aoi had hulled in yesterday.
“It’s a jungle!” Reita laughed.
Ignoring the others, Uruha picked up the guitar and pushing several buttons on the amp, strummed to make sure it was working and started rattling off things to the other guitarist. Taken aback by the suddenness Aoi asked “Come again?”
“I’m just explaining to you the effectors,” he pointed downward at the metal pedal.
“Oh!” he nodded and put his hands on his hips and observed all the musical machinery.
“With this particular amp, the sound isn’t very crisp,” Uruha slowly placed his finger on the top of the little black box.
“Right. Those ones aren’t very good.”
“I was wondering how the multi-effector would sound on it because it has this strange sound. It isn’t very good, you’re right.”
Pointing to a bigger amp near the side of the wall, Aoi suggested “You should use that one.”
“Mhm,” Uruha agreed.
Ruki coughed to get their attention. “Are you going to talk guitar stuff or are we going to be able to hear what you have?”
“Oh! Um…” Uruha shuffling about looked around at the mess around him feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of it. He stopped. Standing still, he looked as if he were trying to organize his thoughts on what was the best way to get past the physical chaos surrounding him.
Kumiko, coming home from work opened the door and tugging her heels off, said wearily “Baby B, it seems you still haven’t cleaned up. Hi you all.” She quickly waved and then placed her hands tiredly on her waist. They all greeted her politely. “Are you all going to be noisy? Because if you are, I’m going to go take a shower and go call up some of my girlies and go out for a drink.”
“You should do that,” Uruha replied quickly and disinterestedly as he still stared at the equipment.
“Right,” she nodded. “Hey Aoi,” she tapped him on the shoulder. As he turned and smiled at her, she said in a low voice “Want to go smoke a cigarette with me outside? I need to talk to you.”
Aoi looked at the others apprehensively. “Um…”
“If you don’t, I’m going to rip the pretty hair out of your head~” she sang under her breath.
“Sure.”
“Me and Aoi are going to have a smoke-”
Seeing his opportunity, Reita interjected “I’m going with you.”
Kumiko stared at him suspiciously. Tilting his head toward Uruha, he indicated to her that he wanted to speak to him about her brother as well. “Alright. But three is the most. Anymore and they are going to call the cops,” she said lamely, thinking of the first stupid excuse that came to her.
“Then, we’ll help Uruha,” Kai suggested, getting things rolling.
Looking up lost, Uruha said softly “What?”
“They are going out for a cigarette. We are cleaning,” Kai clarified.
Not wasting any more time, Kumiko grabbed Aoi’s arm and in blunt, monotone voice said “Let’s go pretties.”
Outside, the sun was beginning to set. And the air around them was cool if not a bit cold. Reita trying to start conversation on a good note, remarked “It’s freezing, isn’t it?” He smiled at the two of them.
“Yeah, yeah,” Kumiko said lighting her cigarette and handing the two “kids” each one, lit the little white sticks for them. “So…Aoi…”
“You want to talk to me about Uruha?” He took a long drag.
“Why are you rejecting him?” Reita asked.
“Yeah!” Kumiko looked at Reita as if he just said something brilliant. “Why the fuck? Are you mentally challenged?”
“Isn’t he seeing someone?”Aoi asked lamely.
“Seiko! Please,” Kumiko’s manners didn’t fit her appearance at all. She looked like a clean cut, well behaved office girl.
Avoiding their eyes, Aoi watched the quiet street immersed in the purple glow of the setting sun. A young boy, mindlessly playing on his handheld game started to cross the street at the wrong time, never looking up. Hearing the rumble of car coming down the street, Kumiko shouted “Dumb fucking kid, watch where you are going!” The boy stopped where he was and looked at her. Several inches away from his body, the car sped past him. If she hadn’t said something, he would have been hit. Ungratefully, the boy merely ran across the street and toward his destination. “Pfff idiotic children,” she said as she started puffing at her cigarette.
“This isn’t any of your business,” Aoi said throwing his own half smoked cigarette to the ground. He was ready to go back upstairs.
“Bullshit! He made me breakfast yesterday!” Kumiko yelped.
“What the hell does that have anything to do with this?” he stared at her challengingly.
“You make him happy, fucker.”
Reita bit his lip before chiming in “What is pushing you away from him?”
Aoi looked up and stared at his friend’s face blankly. Something about his question seemed to make him feel hollow inside. In his mind, he could hear all of Uruha’s sweet words. “I’ll protect you no matter what” he had said as Aoi viciously fucked him. Uruha had won that battle, didn’t he? Even though you pushed him away, even though you did everything in your power to hurt him, he saw past it all. No amount of fire or violence could win a battle against Uruha’s persistent gentleness.
What is pushing you away from him?
And suddenly it hit him. Fear. Only fear.
It is inevitable. He realized this in of all places, the fucking bathroom at a goddamn Denny’s. Inside of him, he had built up a wall and painted it with feelings of forced apathy and phony independence. If he were to allow himself to love Uruha again, what would that mean to the person the he had become, the person that refused to invest himself in anything? If he was going to let that powerful feeling inside of him, he feared that with it, all his other feelings would flood up in him, his deep incomprehensible depression, all the bitter lies he told himself, his shame at the person he was born, his guilt at finally abandoning his mother after all those years of following her around, watching her hurt herself to come here, to escape to Tokyo to play in a rock band. Right now, except for the person he was on stage, he was like a dead man, cold. But if he let himself love him, love him like he used to, he would become alive once more, revived and that meant feeling all over again the pain and suffering of living.
He realized now that this was the real reason he was pushing him away.
He didn’t believe he was bold enough. Brave enough. Strong enough.
Even if Uruha said he could take all of it, he didn’t think it was possible.
“Look,” he said to the other two finally. “I just…” he sighed. “I just need some time to think about it. That’s all. Like I told him, I’m not sure...I just need some time….to think,” he rubbed his face and walked back inside leaving Reita and Kumiko standing there, unsure of what to say next.
Going inside, he saw the three of his other friends sitting on the couch chatting away. Kai was laughing happily about some story Ruki was telling, something about a live show he had performed, about Gabriel singing the wrong lyric. “Hey,” he said with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.
Uruha looking up smiled. “Look, I remembered how to do it.” He lifted up a paper crane he had folded from what looked like a ripped out magazine sheet with music written on it. “It took me five minutes to recall,” he stared at it proud.
Aoi felt a strange ringing in his ears. His heart in his chest pounded madly.
“Here. It’s a present,” Uruha extended his hand and presented the paper crane to him. Aoi taking it, looked down at the bird. A sense of the immensity of time flowed over him and he felt as if there was no such thing as the past or the present or the future-rather just a continuous feeling of merely being. His pulse seemed to calm, his breathing evened out. The paper crane’s little head looked so small but its wings were so big. As he observed it, he realized that it was music from Luna Sea’s “In Silence.”
“This was the song that we used to listen to on repeat,” he smiled to himself. Aoi, what are waiting for? It was almost as if it were fate, walking in to this while he was thinking those things.
“That and Ray,” Ruki added.
“Yeah, you loved that song,” Kai said to him.
“I do,” Ruki agreed.
“Can I talk to you?” Aoi said gently placing the paper crane on the crowded coffee table.
With a finger pointed at his own chest, Uruha asked “Me?”
“Yes. You.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere.”
Uruha stood up and Aoi turning walked to the nearest room. He assumed that it was the bedroom but it was actually the bathroom. Not bothering to correct him, Uruha merely followed him. Not that it mattered.
As they walked inside, Uruha turned around to shut the door, his back facing Aoi. For some reason, he felt nervous. It was too soon after their short discussion at the restaurant and there was something about Aoi’s manner that was determined and Uruha, perhaps being a bit of pessimist feared the worst.
Suddenly, these feelings melted away when Aoi, abruptly and unexpectedly wrapped his arms around Uruha’s waist. Pressing his forehead against the back of Uruha’s head, Aoi let out a sigh. Digging his nose into his hair, he breathed him in. Soap and Lavender.
Uruha put his hands on his and squeezed them. His heart was pounding madly in his chest and he could feel his knees go weak. His limbs were jelly and the soft tickling of Aoi’s breath on his neck made him feel like letting go and falling backwards into him.
Pushing Uruha’s hair out of the way with his nose, Aoi planted a soft kiss on the back of his neck.
“Aoi,” Uruha giving in, softly fell against him.
“We’re not normal…are we?” Aoi said thickly, his voice was filled with a sadness so alarming that Uruha tensed up and turned around to look at him. “Hm?” he said as he met his gaze. The expression on Aoi’s face was heartbreaking and incomprehensible. Uruha, at a lost stared at him confused and overwhelmed.
“What’s wrong?” Uruha put his hands on his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked again in a panic.
“Nothing,” Aoi forced a thin smile.
Uruha as if they were medicinal, planted several urgent kisses on his face, his lips, his cheek and chin. “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t want to talk about that right now.”
“Did you want to talk about something?”
Aoi looking down answered “I just…wanted to let you know…that if you want to,” he sighed and met his eyes. “If you want what’s left…I’ll be willing to try again.”
“Okay,” Uruha nodded. “Okay. Let’s try again,” he kissed his lips. “Let’s try again.”
“Okay,” Aoi smiled at him.
“Okay,” Uruha nodded once more, this time even more enthusiastically. He wrapped his arms around Aoi’s neck and pressed his forehead against his. “I want to make you happy,” he said.
“I’m happy.” Was he? What was he feeling? A sort of weakening tenderness.
“I don’t believe you.”
“Of course not,” Aoi attempted to joke.
Uruha kissed him softly on the lips and let his mouth linger there. When the realization suddenly hit him that Aoi was his once more, a powerful feeling surged inside of him and he felt immensely strong. “I’m going to make you happy, I promise,” he said.
“Uruha…please…” Aoi tried to move away.
“No,” Uruha grabbing his waist quickly, held him against him. “I’m not letting you go until you smile.”
“What?”
“I’m going to keep you here until you smile.”
“But…”
Uruha kissed him, shutting him up. He racked his brain for something that would make him happy. “We should go on date,” he said suddenly.
“What?” Aoi laughed aghast.
“Mhm,” Uruha smiled.
“A date? Uh…” Aoi thinking about it, started laughing. He couldn’t imagine going on a date with Uruha of all people. What were they going to do?
“Tomorrow night.”
“Uruha…”
“You said you want to try.”
“But…”
“But what?”
“Uruha…what are we going to do? Talk about guitar stuff?” he laughed outright.
“You’re laughing?”
“Does that mean I can leave?” Aoi smiled.
“No, I want to enjoy it,” Uruha said sweetly and innocently. Not knowing how to respond, Aoi pecked him on the lips. “Should I call you pet name? You like pet names, don’t you?”
“Huh?”
“You would call me Ducky Baby and you are always calling the others names. You like pet names.”
“Maybe,” Aoi lifted up his hand and threaded it in his soft brown hair.
“Sweetie Pie? Honey bear?” Uruha said, trying out ones he heard. Aoi hearing them started laughing hysterically, all the while blushing madly. “Snuggle bunny?” Now he wasn’t even being serious. He was trying to make him laugh.
“OH GOD!” Aoi smiled at the ridiculousness.
“Love muffin?”
“Am I food?!”
“I don’t know…I’m bad at this,” Uruha smiled.
“A nickname has to fit!”
“What fits you?”
“Well…Other than Mr. Sexy?”
“Mr. Sexy? You like that?” Uruha crinkled his nose in distaste. “That’s lame.”
Aoi laughed. “Well, I’m a star baby…so?”
“Hoshi-sama?”
“I like that.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm,” he smiled at him.
Knocking softly at the door, Kai tentatively called out “Um…Sorry to bug you but…um…are you guys going to come out of there….ever?”
“No,” Aoi said.
“Seriously?”
“Fine,” Aoi sighed. “We’re coming.”