placid_chaos

placid_chaos

A 'LITTLE' (not) about me--

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 16:04

( I have 2 years of entries over at the other site, and I just don't feel like doing the--CUT AND PASTE-- (stop applauding on that remark!). I will do an intro about my past here. It is rather lengthy but thanks to everyone helping me, I am learning the ropes-I hope you keep your patience with me as I do so! )

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Hurt Feelings from Comment made--Prior Entry--From Open Diary

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:50

( I felt very judged by some of the noters, and discredited for how the MOTHER of a special needs child (that she absolutely adores and loves to death) needed to vent about being hurt. I didn't need lectures. I just needed someone to listen. That was all that I ever ask in this diary. You don't have to agree with me, but don't discredit my feelings. When it comes to my children, key words can really hurt. Those key words are anything that puts my child at the same level as those that were institutionalized, many years ago because the human race was too damn ignorant to deal with them.
I am not ignorant. I feel guilt for the inflictions that my child have, and come here to try and deal with those feelings. I am sure that many have made comments pertaining to this. I have seen them in notes--I have heard them through emails. You can judge me all you want, but you don't have to enforce the guilt that I already have. I could throw the towel in and just lay in bed, giving those children up to agencies that would deal with their needs themselves. I don't do that. I wake every morning and keep a damn strict routine to ensure that, some day my children WILL be on their own and fully functioning adults. )

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Comments about Special Needs Kids--by OTHERS:

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:48

( I am going to show everyone what I mean by, special needs children and their parents are sometimes treated like lepers. This is the note that I just received by someone that goes by the OD name of (name deleted--OD User). (this was written on OD, and I was very angry when I received the comment--it just hurt a bit, you know?) )

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My Stance on Being TRULY American

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:47

( I am an American. I am proud that I am an American. I am a conservative, and many of my beliefs go against those of my friends that are liberals. That is okay because it is our right to disagree. We are Americans. We don't have to follow any certain religion. You can stick your tongue out at our current president if you want, or worship the ground that he walks on. You can vote him out if you don't think he did a good job, or vote him back in if you do. )

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My feelings on Mainstreaming--recent entry

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:44

( Read more... )

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PTSD entry--recent

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:43

( As I have stated before, I have PTSD on a very slight level. Sometimes, it only takes one 'trigger' to set it off and then I am in that state for days--sometimes longer. Yesterday was one of those days, triggered by the word 'DONOR'--I can't explain to anyone here why that would do such a thing. I won't even try, since I have already explained it to the one person that does understand. Either way, yesterday was a very long day, with memories fluttering around, pushing into my reality world as if they were happening to me all over again. )

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Autistic Hangover's....recent

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:33

( Tom showed up this morning, leaving me with time to spend down here in my dungeon room and avoiding the 'real life' that faces me on the main floor. )

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Quirks of mine - 9/6/02

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:30

( When I was recently out with my friend Elaine, we discussed some of the quirky things that we do that drives other people insane. )

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9/4/2002 - feelings during marital separation:

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:15

( I am tired. I know you think that you are the only one that is tired from a day of driving a bus. You believe you are the only one that is allowed to be tired. You have a job that pays. Not much, but it pays. You consider my job a duty and not a job at all. I don't care how you feel, however. I am done with that. After seeing your ATM report online tonight, I realized that there is never going to be a way for anyone to get through to you at all. )

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Motherhood and stuff: 9/4/02

placid_chaos Mar 22, 2003 14:11

( Mama, where's my scrungi's?

Mama, I don't feel like wearing this. Can I change now?

I hate blueberry bagles! Why didn't you buy plain bagles?

Mama, where are my socks? I just had them! Where did I put them?

Mama, my new shoes don't fit today. They did the other day but they don't fit now!

Mama, how many days are left until next summer vacation?

Where is my coffee? This is an unGODly time to be up in the morning. I woke the damn birds! I wanted to shoot the paper lady because she is driving around at 5 AM. How can one function in a morning when it still appears to be night time? )

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