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I was walking in a park again, and I saw about five kids up in a tree. So I climbed the tree also, and they became quiet and stared at me in confusion. I stabbed one, punched another. The other three got into severe panic and fell off the tree, landing head first on some boulders. I think one of them was a mormon.

Someone anonymously posted a complaint that I was supposedly discriminating against a specific religion now simply because I killed them (despite the fact that I've killed many people who did not disclose their religious beliefs to me before death) when they showed up at my door asking for it. So I decided I would take the anonymous person's advice ( Read more... )

I was calmly sleeping today, when I heard a knock on the door. I opened it, and before me stood three mormon missionaries. I politely invited them in, asking them to take a seat. Before closing the door I conducted a brief glance outside to see if there was anyone within audible range who needed to be taken care of. There wasn't. I closed the door ( Read more... )

I went to a 24/7 grocery store where there was no one present except graveyard shift stockers. I picked up a frozen turkey and went isle to isle whacking the workers over the head with it. The conversation would go like this ( Read more... )

I forged some paperwork and got accepted as a substitute for an adult ed class. When I was finally called in, I showed up with four objects: a strong door lock, a three-pronged garden cultivator claw, and two earplugs. Once I took attendance, I locked the door, put in my earplugs, and began scraping the chalkboard. I watched everyone collapse on ( Read more... )

It was good weather outside. I bought a squid today, it was about the size of a human head. I went to a rest stop and waited for an opportunity to crawl on the roof of an eighteen-wheeler (yes, I checked to make sure there were no low-clearance bridges ahead). When it was moving at a good 65mph, I crawled to the edge and waited for the best moment ( Read more... )

I was taking an enjoyable walk in the park today, when some guy came up to me and asked if I knew where Main Street was. I punched him in the face and dragged him into the bushes. "What is it you wanted to know again?" I asked. "Main Street... GAA!" he yelled as I kicked him in the ribs. "Main Street?" "Yeah, I'm just looking for d..." at this ( Read more... )

The last entry I typed in from a wireless laptop while still at the park. After I escaped the water slides, I went over to that place where three people jump off on a bungee cord and fly above the public. I waited for them to jump, and then I threw a ninja star at the rope. It snapped off, and they fell into the public, dying and taking a bunch of ( Read more... )

I went to an amusement park today, and got into one of those water slide tubes. I stopped somewhere in the middle, and pulled out my sword and sat there decapitating people until I felt it was time to leave. I decapitated nine people.