There was some kind of a running marathon for charity or something, and it spanned over a long enough distance for people to break up and run in groups of a few at a time, or sometimes alone. I hid in the bushes closer to the end of their path, and whenever I saw people running I jumped out and stabbed them in the face and threw their bodies into ( Read more... )

I went to a valley girl convention, and it took place on what used to be a golf field, so it was pretty secluded. It didn't feel secluded, because as I walked amongst them I kept hearing loud voices saying stuff like "oh my God Jenny I just got my nails look" "I love Davey so much but he's at his friend's house for the week..." "I totally don't ( Read more... )

I killed a hundred and twenty eight people today.

I decided to hang out with Murd0c again. I told him I could red box any payphone, but he refused to believe me. So we went up to a payphone, I picked up the receiver, and with great force smashed him over the head with it. While he was trying to recover, I wrapped the payphone cable around his neck and began strangling him. He started to struggle, ( Read more... )

I killed a biker with a stick today. I was sitting on a sidewalk, and as he was driving by, I jammed the stick into the front wheel, causing the bike to come to an abrupt stop and the biker to fly into the pavement head first. He looked pretty lifeless, but just to make sure I did my job I picked up the bicycle and smashed the guy with it seventeen

I was looking at swiss knives at a gas station, when I noticed that a gasoline trucker walked in and gave the clerk something to sign, and went to the bathroom. I didn't hear any jingling keys, so I quickly went outside, and got into his truck. Sure enough, the keys were still in and the engine was on. I backed it up about half a mile, and then ( Read more... )

I decided I could use some intercourse, so I went to the usual place I go to when seeking girls who will allow me to kill them after our intimate date - a coffee shop behind a book store. It's relatively easy - I just look for the ones writing senseless poetry, pick whichever one I feel like having, and walk up and say "do you want to have sex and ( Read more... )

I was carpooling with some people today. It was one of those "get to work together for less money" services or whatever, ran by a private employee of the company that I pretended to be working for. I was in the back on the driver's side, so it was a bit tricky. I knifed the person to my right really quickly so he didn't make a sound. I next wrapped ( Read more... )

I was riding down in an elevator, and I had to share the cabin with a few really annoying people. First, they asked me what time it was, and then they joined their cacophonous voices together to hum the Macarena. I asked them if they enjoyed life, and they said yes. "Good," I said, "because I take absolutely no pleasure in taking life from those ( Read more... )

Death is everywhere.