chubby honey bunny: cakes and condoms
chb: cakes and condoms
yunho/jaejoong, luhan/xiumin
general, humor / pg13 / oneshot
It's still Minseok's twentieth birthday and Luhan really needs to shut up and stop giving Jaejoong a heart attack.
→ fatso | boyfriend over job | trouble in paradise | joongievator | hi, hello | lonely momo | mama | we could be in love | weekend parents | get some and then get dumped | okinawa baby (part i) | all grown up | okinawa baby (part ii) | weapon of bangs destruction | green-eyed monster | mother's day | dinner gone wrong | baby dildo | bonjour paris | check-ups and lollipops | letter of doom | nature gay | not so happy birthday | my love | cock stabbing
note: past is when yunho was a stud muffin until he found out about his condition. present is during the time when the couple met minseok and yoosu and everyone else. future is three years after that, when minseok is already eight years old... and the years after that.
future
If there are two people who are too oblivious of the tense atmosphere, that would be Yunho and Luhan. The former is stuffing his face with food while the latter is busy stuffing Minseok's face with food after declaring that he is getting way too skinny. While Jaejoong appreciates the sweet gesture, he still has not forgiven the boy from his nasty comment earlier. Luhan had given him a mini heart attack. He knows his son is dating someone and naturally, he'd be doing things with his boyfriend. But of course, as a parent, those are the kinds of things he would rather not think or talk about. Luhan shamelessly announcing how they will be performing sexual acts later on in the day just baffled him to no end. His Minseok is still a baby and he will forever be one in his eyes.
"You're not really going to stab him with your... thing twenty times, will you? That's too much." Jaejoong mumbles and gets everyone's attention, even the famished Yunho who gulps down his glass of water and looks at his sulking husband worriedly.
Minseok chokes and Luhan immediately pounds him on the back not too hard, handing him a glass of juice. "Papa!"
"Jaejoong, can we not talk about things that upset you?" says Yunho, running a hand through Jaejoong's hair. "I know it's not easy for you to accept that they're doing grown up things but they're not babies anymore. I'm sure they use protection."
"We do!" Luhan pipes in, much to Minseok's annoyance. "That one time I didn't use a condom, Minseok left me high and hard."
"Can you shut up?!" Minseok barks. His boyfriend was alright when they were friends. He was careful with his words and did not say anything that would embarrass them both. But as soon as they started dating, Luhan seemed to have lost his brain to mouth filter. He says things, stupid things, that often make him want to lock himself up in his room and never face people again. The thing is, Luhan is too proud. He is too proud to have him as a boyfriend that he ends up telling people things he is not supposed to share. The moment Luhan walked in his house and uttered the most ridiculous thing he could ever say right in front of his parents, he knew the good image he tried so hard to build up for him is ruined. He spent weeks trying to tell his parents all the nice things about Luhan to get him on their good side, but that does not matter anymore. His parents probably think he's with the wrong guy and it makes him want to cry. It is his birthday and yet he is not happy with how things are turning out, and it's all because of his stupid boyfriend. Although stupid or not, he loves him anyway.
Yunho notices how frustrated his son and husband are so he once again takes the liberty to take the matter into his own hands. He prays to the heavens to let him succeed and not dampen their moods even more. "Now now, no need to be so worked up." He reaches out to take a hold of his teary-eyed son's hand and squeezes it gently. "Don't worry about it, baby. Your papa's just a little upset but he'll be fine." he says as he shifts his gaze to Jaejoong who nods albeit forced. "You lovebirds continue eating while I make your papa happy. We'll be back, alright?"
"Papa I'm sorry."
Jaejoong sees the sad look on his son's face and shakes his head. He gets up his seat and walks towards Minseok to give him a hug. "It's okay, baby." he replies and presses a soft kiss on his forehead. "Don't think that your birthday is ruined, alright? Because it's not. We're going to have fun. Uncle Junsu and Yoochun will be here with your Uncle Changmin. I just need to talk to your mama about something."
He turns to look at Luhan when the latter pokes him on the arm. "I'm sorry, sir. I understand that I'm the reason why you're upset but it was not my intention to piss you off. The need to shut up is intense but I end up blurting it out anyway. But please understand that I love your son very much and I wish to be with him for a long, long time."
Jaejoong smiles and pats him on the head. "Thank you, Luhan."
"You're the Luhan to my Minseok." Yunho tells him with a smile once their bedroom door clicks shut. Jaejoong looks at him with a frown and he chuckles. "You do realize that you're pretty much like him, right? The pretty face with an armalite mouth."
With a laugh, he dodges the pillow that is thrown his way. He picks it up and lies down beside a huffing Jaejoong. "Aww baby, you know it's true. That's why you can't bring yourself to dislike him." He wraps his arms around Jaejoong and pulls him close, smiling when the latter nuzzles his neck.
"He loves our baby."
"Yes, he does. Way too much."
"How did you know that?"
"Easy. He looks at him the same way I look at you."
Jaejoong grins and jumps on top of his lover, straddling his hips. He just loves how squishy and fluffy Yunho is. "You make a really good teddy bear, you know that?"
"How could I not when you never fail to remind me every single day."
He cups Yunho's cheeks and squishes them. "You're my honeybunch, sugarplum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin, you're my sweetie pie..." he playfully sings as he pecks his husband's lips over and over again.
They stay inside their bedroom for an hour to cuddle and at the same time to give their son and his boyfriend alone time. Their own private time was distracted when Changmin barges in their room with a wide grin. "Rise and shine poopheads!"
Jaejoong groans and throws a pillow at his best friend. "You have to stop that habit of throwing pillows to whoever comes in our room, Jaejoongie." says Yunho, groaning as he gets up to make himself look presentable for their guests.
"Come on, you guys, everyone's here. The kids want to play with their Yunniebear and I brought the cake you made that I refrigerated because our fridge is better than yours."
Jaejoong flips him off but gets up anyway.
Everything is going smoothly until Luhan opens his mouth to speak as he pushes his plate of cake towards Minseok. "You want some?"
"I have my own. Why?"
"It's sort of disgusting."
Jaejoong stares right into Luhan's eyes and says through gritted teeth, "Thanks. I made it."
☆☆☆☆☆
a/n: i-- luhan is not stupid, i promise! :) hello to you, too
yunho/jaejoong, luhan/xiumin
general, humor / pg13 / oneshot
It's still Minseok's twentieth birthday and Luhan really needs to shut up and stop giving Jaejoong a heart attack.
→ fatso | boyfriend over job | trouble in paradise | joongievator | hi, hello | lonely momo | mama | we could be in love | weekend parents | get some and then get dumped | okinawa baby (part i) | all grown up | okinawa baby (part ii) | weapon of bangs destruction | green-eyed monster | mother's day | dinner gone wrong | baby dildo | bonjour paris | check-ups and lollipops | letter of doom | nature gay | not so happy birthday | my love | cock stabbing
note: past is when yunho was a stud muffin until he found out about his condition. present is during the time when the couple met minseok and yoosu and everyone else. future is three years after that, when minseok is already eight years old... and the years after that.
future
If there are two people who are too oblivious of the tense atmosphere, that would be Yunho and Luhan. The former is stuffing his face with food while the latter is busy stuffing Minseok's face with food after declaring that he is getting way too skinny. While Jaejoong appreciates the sweet gesture, he still has not forgiven the boy from his nasty comment earlier. Luhan had given him a mini heart attack. He knows his son is dating someone and naturally, he'd be doing things with his boyfriend. But of course, as a parent, those are the kinds of things he would rather not think or talk about. Luhan shamelessly announcing how they will be performing sexual acts later on in the day just baffled him to no end. His Minseok is still a baby and he will forever be one in his eyes.
"You're not really going to stab him with your... thing twenty times, will you? That's too much." Jaejoong mumbles and gets everyone's attention, even the famished Yunho who gulps down his glass of water and looks at his sulking husband worriedly.
Minseok chokes and Luhan immediately pounds him on the back not too hard, handing him a glass of juice. "Papa!"
"Jaejoong, can we not talk about things that upset you?" says Yunho, running a hand through Jaejoong's hair. "I know it's not easy for you to accept that they're doing grown up things but they're not babies anymore. I'm sure they use protection."
"We do!" Luhan pipes in, much to Minseok's annoyance. "That one time I didn't use a condom, Minseok left me high and hard."
"Can you shut up?!" Minseok barks. His boyfriend was alright when they were friends. He was careful with his words and did not say anything that would embarrass them both. But as soon as they started dating, Luhan seemed to have lost his brain to mouth filter. He says things, stupid things, that often make him want to lock himself up in his room and never face people again. The thing is, Luhan is too proud. He is too proud to have him as a boyfriend that he ends up telling people things he is not supposed to share. The moment Luhan walked in his house and uttered the most ridiculous thing he could ever say right in front of his parents, he knew the good image he tried so hard to build up for him is ruined. He spent weeks trying to tell his parents all the nice things about Luhan to get him on their good side, but that does not matter anymore. His parents probably think he's with the wrong guy and it makes him want to cry. It is his birthday and yet he is not happy with how things are turning out, and it's all because of his stupid boyfriend. Although stupid or not, he loves him anyway.
Yunho notices how frustrated his son and husband are so he once again takes the liberty to take the matter into his own hands. He prays to the heavens to let him succeed and not dampen their moods even more. "Now now, no need to be so worked up." He reaches out to take a hold of his teary-eyed son's hand and squeezes it gently. "Don't worry about it, baby. Your papa's just a little upset but he'll be fine." he says as he shifts his gaze to Jaejoong who nods albeit forced. "You lovebirds continue eating while I make your papa happy. We'll be back, alright?"
"Papa I'm sorry."
Jaejoong sees the sad look on his son's face and shakes his head. He gets up his seat and walks towards Minseok to give him a hug. "It's okay, baby." he replies and presses a soft kiss on his forehead. "Don't think that your birthday is ruined, alright? Because it's not. We're going to have fun. Uncle Junsu and Yoochun will be here with your Uncle Changmin. I just need to talk to your mama about something."
He turns to look at Luhan when the latter pokes him on the arm. "I'm sorry, sir. I understand that I'm the reason why you're upset but it was not my intention to piss you off. The need to shut up is intense but I end up blurting it out anyway. But please understand that I love your son very much and I wish to be with him for a long, long time."
Jaejoong smiles and pats him on the head. "Thank you, Luhan."
"You're the Luhan to my Minseok." Yunho tells him with a smile once their bedroom door clicks shut. Jaejoong looks at him with a frown and he chuckles. "You do realize that you're pretty much like him, right? The pretty face with an armalite mouth."
With a laugh, he dodges the pillow that is thrown his way. He picks it up and lies down beside a huffing Jaejoong. "Aww baby, you know it's true. That's why you can't bring yourself to dislike him." He wraps his arms around Jaejoong and pulls him close, smiling when the latter nuzzles his neck.
"He loves our baby."
"Yes, he does. Way too much."
"How did you know that?"
"Easy. He looks at him the same way I look at you."
Jaejoong grins and jumps on top of his lover, straddling his hips. He just loves how squishy and fluffy Yunho is. "You make a really good teddy bear, you know that?"
"How could I not when you never fail to remind me every single day."
He cups Yunho's cheeks and squishes them. "You're my honeybunch, sugarplum, pumpy-umpy-umpkin, you're my sweetie pie..." he playfully sings as he pecks his husband's lips over and over again.
They stay inside their bedroom for an hour to cuddle and at the same time to give their son and his boyfriend alone time. Their own private time was distracted when Changmin barges in their room with a wide grin. "Rise and shine poopheads!"
Jaejoong groans and throws a pillow at his best friend. "You have to stop that habit of throwing pillows to whoever comes in our room, Jaejoongie." says Yunho, groaning as he gets up to make himself look presentable for their guests.
"Come on, you guys, everyone's here. The kids want to play with their Yunniebear and I brought the cake you made that I refrigerated because our fridge is better than yours."
Jaejoong flips him off but gets up anyway.
Everything is going smoothly until Luhan opens his mouth to speak as he pushes his plate of cake towards Minseok. "You want some?"
"I have my own. Why?"
"It's sort of disgusting."
Jaejoong stares right into Luhan's eyes and says through gritted teeth, "Thanks. I made it."
☆☆☆☆☆
a/n: i-- luhan is not stupid, i promise! :) hello to you, too