I'm sure life has been crazy lately. Hell, I have pictures to prove it; however, most of the time Eobeth and I were so piss drunk we couldn't remember much. We woke up naked on a beach with a bunch of pictures and empty bottles and cigarette butts ( Read more... )

Elf!boobies! Lucious, perky, and perfect elf!boobies! I am pleased XD

I love my duties. Making alcoholic beverages, afternoon massages, dry-cleaning isn't so great..but whatever. My personal favorite is lingerie judging. :)

In other news, Zilbeth has taken all my damn explosives. I'm starting to get worried.

Vardamir, you dumb bastard, update or ( Read more... )

Zilbeth and I exploded some wargs.

The very not deceased Vardamir came over for some help with his rubix cube and so I could make him coffee. He also tried to steal time on my computer and notcied all the Celeborn/Vardamir fanfic saved on there. I think he was disgusted. Then I showed him some pictures and asked for an explanation. He left ( Read more... )

I've been playing Explode The Dwarf for a month.

Also, I was kidnapped by stinky Gondorian men. I opened a stand on the outskirts of Rohan; I served Gondorian Special Subs. The Gondorians were never seen or heard from again. Also, there footage was found a week later. They had a lens cap on the whole time.

'Kay. Dred, there's the door...wobble out or something.

I have the hot lesbians.

No one bother me or else they'll get their throat slit.

I have your precious TheodredFirst, I put him in a reallllly tiny burlap sack. I mean the kid cried the entire time. Then, I locked him in my basement where there is no drain cleaner and only watered down coffee. It is not pleasant. I'm making him watch Barbara Streisand concert footage AND IF YOU DON'T ALL SEND ME YOUR LESBIANS, I will be forced ( Read more... )

Candyass, my drag queen compadre, spent the last few days in my apartment crying about "her" latest break-up with some Gondorian fucker. So, I suggested we kill him. Little did I know, her fucking eyes would light up and I would have to move my ass and actually do something ( Read more... )

Been moving shit into my apartment. Since I was previously dead, I nabbed Inzi away from her lesbian lover for a bit and decided to rob this really rich gay couple. She didn't like the idea of robbing people because they were cute, so I had her be look-out while I picked up some kid that looked like he would enjoy eating people's hearts for ( Read more... )

Shortly after being released from Mandos, Zilbêth and I attempted to sink Númenor as planned. Of course it wasn't as easy as we thought, I mean Eru fucking forbid things go accordingly and then these stupid waste of flesh bags called the 'male species' started laughing at us. They're so lucky I was lazy or else I might have tried to castrate them ( Read more... )

Mandos Release Form, 2Ba ( Read more... )