Belonging: Chapter Twenty One
Author's Note: Okay, two of our boys are doing the nasty in this one; if that offends you then I suggest you skip this chapter. On the other hand, you might have been waiting for this a very long time...
Title: Belonging - Chapter Twenty One
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Characters Jack/Ten
Rating: This Chapter - NC-17 for explicit sexual content
Spoilers: Forest of the Dead, The Stolen Earth, Journey's End
Disclaimer: The BBC own it all, the little tinkers
Warnings: m/m slash | first time | psychic!sex
Description:
Set immediately after the events of The Stolen Earth/Journey's End.
The Torchwood team members are struggling to get back to normal after recent shattering events, when the Doctor turns up in the Torchwood Hub in the middle of the night; alone, heartbroken, guilt-ridden, and needing somewhere to belong.
Not only had all my birthdays and Christmases come at once, but I think I'd stolen somebody else's, too.
Chapter Twenty One
I paused, waiting for the Doctor as he took off his jacket and threw it over one of the coral-coloured struts in the console room. He looked at me for a moment, and then began to unfasten his tie.
"That's alright..." I said. "Leave that to me, okay?"
He nodded. He looked a little lost, so I reached out and took his hand. He gave me a small smile as I led him through the door leading into the rest of the TARDIS. I looked at him questioningly, not knowing where he wanted us to go. I knew where my old bedroom was, or at least it tended to stay in the same place most of the time, but it was full of discarded clothes, abandoned projects, pieces of circuitry and bits of technological junk I'd liked to tinker with during quieter moments, back when I used to travel with the Doctor and Rose. It didn't exactly have a romantic ambience.
The Doctor instead overtook me by a couple of steps, his long legs stretching out in front of him, so that it ended up being him leading me through the flesh-coloured corridors. We walked around a corner and along a passageway I'd never noticed before, and eventually we came to a pinky-white door, its length studded with the familiar roundels that decorated the walls of most of the rest of the ship.
Wordlessly, the Doctor pushed the door open and waited for me to enter. I glanced at him as I walked through the doorway, and once I'd entered the room I gave an appreciative gasp.
It was a bedroom, empty of furniture except for a big, soft-looking bed dressed in cream-coloured silk sheets. The room was lit with about a thousand candles, all dotted around in holders of varying heights. The walls in here were a paler pinky-orange than the rest of the ship and it smelled… I can't even describe what it smelled of, some sort of alien spice, or flower, or... I don't know, but it was very sensual.
"Is it... okay?" the Doctor asked me softly.
"Oh yeah... it's beautiful. Perfect." I turned around. "Is this...?"
The Doctor nodded. "My bedroom, yeah. I don't really use it that much to be honest, and... it didn't look like this until a few days ago. I got the TARDIS to reconfigure it. Y'know… just in case." He smiled shyly. "I think she might have had a quick poke around in your mind to see what you'd like, hope you don't mind."
I shook my head. "This isn't all about me..."
The Doctor smiled. "Oh, I know, but it was useless for her to ask for my opinion. Up until a few moments ago, this was just a place to take the odd nap, as far as I was concerned. But now... yeah. It is perfect. Clever old girl." The Doctor ran his hand smoothly down the nearest wall, stroking.
"You're gonna make me jealous in a minute..." I said, reaching for him with a smile.
The Doctor looked at his hand, realised what he was doing, and then smiled bashfully and withdraw it. I stretched my arm out next to him, and closed the door. I saw the Doctor's eyes dart to it for a second. He looked as though he felt like he was being locked in, with no escape.
"Hey," I murmured. "You sure you're ready for this?"
The Doctor swallowed, and then looked at me. He nodded. "Yes. I am. I'm just a bit... I don't really know what to..."
I shushed him, put my hands on both of his upper arms and kissed him gently. Our kiss became more heated after a moment, and at last I felt him relax a little, going so far as to wrap his arms around my waist. I pushed against him gently, kept nudging until his back was against the wall and there was enough leverage for me to push against him. I pressed my erection hard against his body. I felt him gasp into my mouth, and reeled it back a little.
Easy, tiger.
I stepped back, gave him room to breathe. He wasn't flinching away this time, which was encouraging, but I still didn't want to overwhelm him. I relaxed the kiss a little, tentatively reaching for his tie and beginning to work at the loose knot. To my surprise, I felt the Doctor's hands on my back begin to move upwards, sliding themselves under my braces and continuing to slide until the elastic began to slip sideways and off my shoulders.
I pulled away from him again, partly so that I could lift the loosened tie over his head and off, and partly so I could see what was going on in his facial expression.
He was a picture of flustered innocence; tiny apples of pink sprouting in his pale cheeks, eyelashes fluttering, lips in a slight pout. His hair was tousled.
God help me, but the overwhelming desire to rip off the rest of his clothes, and take him right there up against the wall was a difficult thing to resist.
I stepped back, took both his arms and manoeuvred him gently around so that he was standing at the foot of the bed. My hands itched to push him backwards on to it, but I mentally took my libido to one side and gave it a stern talking to.
Nice and easy does it.
Instead I concentrated on taking off his clothes. It was something I'd done before, of course, fairly recently, for that matter. I briefly remembered how difficult I'd found it to contain myself back then, and now it was even harder. Pun definitely intended.
He watched me intently as I unfastened buttons, pushed and pulled at fabric, the way he'd watched me the last time. The only difference now was that I didn't hold back from doing the things I'd longed to do the last time; licking and kissing at exposed parts of pale flesh, pausing to stroke his arms and shoulders and chest, as the shirt finally left his torso. I wasn't as careful about folding his clothes as I had been the last time either; the discarded garments merely landed crumpled and forgotten on the floor. I spent a few moments with my mouth pressed to his shoulder, sucking on his flesh gently, something else I'd longed to do for so long.
He was pale, paler even than Ianto, who spends far too much time underground and out of the sun, but he also had a delicate smattering of freckles across his shoulders and upper arms that I hadn't been able to fully appreciate before now. He didn't seem quite as skinny as he'd been before either; he'd obviously recovered enough lately to remember to eat a little more often, and there hadn't been any of that running around he normally did recently, either. He was still slim, but not as fragile and gaunt as I'd imagined he'd be.
He tipped his head back as I moved my mouth from his shoulder, delicately pressing butterfly-soft kisses across his collar bone and then making a gentle assault on his neck and throat with my lips and teeth. I delighted in managing to extract some surprised gasps from him as I pushed my tongue into the soft indentation below his Adam's apple.
I kept glancing up at him, and finding that although he closed his eyes now and then when I did something he obviously liked, he mostly kept his eyes firmly on me, as though committing everything I did to memory.
By the time my trembling fingers found the fastening of his trousers and my mouth was busy roaming his torso, I think I'd finally broken through whatever barrier his Time Lord instinct had unwillingly put up against me. His hands, which up until now had been hanging helplessly by his sides, now rose up to grab handfuls of my hair.
His trainers and trousers had joined the pile of his other clothes on the floor, and my lips were pressed against his stomach before he managed to attract my attention.
Oh God, don't tell me he's changed his mind…
"May I just…?" he said softly. I looked up at him, bemusement obvious on my lust-clouded face.
The Doctor brushed two fingers against my temple, and then I remembered.
The flash of white in my mind seemed tinged with pink this time, and the sensation of heat was even stronger. It felt like hot, fizzy treacle was sliding slowly down my spine. I pressed the side of my face against his flat belly, shuddered against him and moaned softly, my arms curling round him to embrace his waist in an effort to stop myself from sliding onto the floor like a pile of jelly.
"It might not… feel the same for you as it does for me," I heard him murmur. "You're not a Time Lord. I should imagine the energy will manifest as a more… physical sensation, for you."
"Ohhh, I'll say…" I muttered. It was like heated static electricity, and it was winding its way down my back and around my hips and it seemed to pulse, deep inside me. I could sense that the Doctor was with me, in my soul, again. It as though he was embracing me inside.
It felt incredible.
I glanced up at him. He was looking down at me, a faint smile playing around his lips.
I felt him begin to move, the physical him, and my arms slipped from his waist as he sat down on the bed and began to shift himself backwards on to it. Wordlessly, a little shakily, I followed, climbing on to the bed and over him. I kissed him again. When his hands reached round to stroke my back I realised I was still fully dressed.
I paused long enough to take off my clothes; braces already shucked off my shoulders, it took me mere seconds to toe off my boots and socks, remove my shirt, t-shirt and trousers. I climbed back over him again. He was looking me up and down, his eyes slightly wide. I glanced down at myself.
"You've seen me naked before…" I said, with a small grin. Not just recently, either. I had never been that bothered about modesty when I was travelling with him and Rose, come to think of it.
"Yeah… but not like this. It was just... biology... to me before…" said the Doctor, a little breathlessly. His hand curled around the back of my head, and he pulled it down towards him, his mouth eager to find mine. My hands wandered down his body, this time with a purpose. My mouth slid from his lips again and began to trail downwards, and every time I kissed his body, or licked, or softly bit him, I felt another tingling jolt of heat shoot through my body, leaving me breathless.
I got the distinct feeling that once the Doctor had got the hang of it and could control those bursts of physic energy coursing through my body, it would prove to be the most amazing sensory experience of my life.
My mouth found one of his nipples, and I suckled at it, feeling it harden against my tongue. I elicited a soft moan from the Doctor and my hand wound its way down his side, my fingers playing lightly over the soft ridges of his ribcage. My hand reached a spot just above his right hip, and the Doctor suddenly shuddered and grabbed at me painfully hard.
I pulled away, a little alarmed, but the Doctor had a flushed look of shocked pleasure on his face. "There's um… a… certain spot… like a sensitive nerve ending…"
A Time Lord thing, I guess. I stroked again at the same area, purposely, a small grin on my face. "…There?"
God, I loved how he gasped and arched towards me.
"Jack…" he said suddenly.
"Yeah?" I murmured, nuzzling at his chest again.
"Something's… happening."
My head rose to look at him again, a concerned frown on my face.
The Doctor's eyes were wide. He clutched at me again. "My penis. It's filling with blood… going hard…"
I somehow managed to keep a straight face. "Yeah. Um... that's meant to happen."
"I know it's meant to happen," the Doctor said, a little impatiently. "I mean… its good that it is happening, isn't it?" He smiled at me, his expression a mixture of encouragement and apprehension.
I chuckled, unable to help myself. "Yes, sweetheart. It's very, very good. But you don't have to make this sound like a biology lesson."
The Doctor blushed. "No. Sorry…"
I thought it was a good time to sit up and remove the Doctor's underwear. I threw the pants carelessly over the side of the bed on to the floor.
In case you're wondering - he looked pretty much like any other healthy human male to me. Very healthy, in fact.
I let out a slow breath. It suddenly struck me. Not only was the Doctor technically a virgin... not only that, but I was responsible for his body's first arousal... I was the first to touch him. And I was soon about to give him his first orgasm.
Not only had all my birthdays and Christmases come at once, but I think I'd stolen somebody else's, too.
The Doctor was looking at me. I could still feel him inside my head, connected to me, but only faintly. The sensation of tingling heat ebbed and flowed, as though when he was experiencing new physical sensations that were a little overwhelming, his concentration wavered.
That was okay. I figured after everything the Doctor had gone through, he deserved the distraction of a little physical pleasure for once.
"How does it feel?" I asked him. That question again. But I needed to know.
He was breathing heavily. "Like... there's something I need, but I don't really know... what." His face creased slightly.
I had a pretty good idea. I wrapped my hand around his erection and squeezed.
The Doctor almost leapt off the bed. He clutched at the sheets. "Yes..." he breathed, nodding rapidly. "That was it... Spot on. Well done…"
With a knowing smile, I leaned over his body again, kissing him deeply whilst I stroked him, my pace quickening. His hips arched upwards into my fist, his own hands grabbing at me desperately. He made mewling sounds, muffled by the kiss. I released his lips and began to kiss down his body again, until I was in the right position to remove my hand from his hardness, and replace it with my mouth.
I massaged his thigh soothingly, my other hand stroking periodically at the sensitive nerve ending I'd found above his hip. His flesh was porcelain-smooth beneath my fingers.
He tasted so good.
I looked up through heavily-lidded eyes, watching his face as I pleasured him. He looked beautiful; a soft pink glow suffused his torso and cheeks, and he clutched handfuls of silk at either side of his body. His eyes were fixed on me, eyelids fluttering, mouth parted as he gasped and made whimpering sounds, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
I can see him in my mind's eye, even now as I write this, days after it happened. I think that image of him, the image of him enjoying, for once, such overwhelming, unfettered, selfish pleasure, will remain with me for eternity.
I took him as close to orgasm as I dared, before I stopped. He was panting now, writhing, and when I sat up, his expression was etched with something I'd never thought I'd see on the Doctor's face - unadulterated lust.
"I want you..." I murmured.
The Doctor nodded. "I know... I know what you want... And it's okay... yes. I want to do everything..."
My head was fuzzy now; I was so aroused it was almost painful.
I slipped off the bed for a second and fumbled in the pocket of my discarded trousers for something, before climbing back on to the bed.
(I would add at this point that I always keep a supply of lube in my pocket. Honestly, I do. I always keep some in my office drawer too, not to mention my bedside cabinet, and there's some in the glove box of the SUV, too. The motto "Be Prepared" wasn't first coined by the Boy Scouts Association, it was me.)
I checked the Doctor's facial expression and body language for any signs of anxiety or tenseness before beginning to prepare him. He seemed a little nervous, but there was no sign of any reluctance on his part. I ensured that my fingers were heavily slicked with clear jelly before pushing my index finger gently into him, and then after a moment, adding my middle finger too. I stroked at his stomach with my free hand, made relaxing noises, but he didn’t appear to be in any pain. He probably has some sort of Time Lord ability to relax his muscles at will, or something.
He reached out for me, cautiously at first, as I prepared him, his expression a mixture of curiosity and longing. His usually cool fingers felt warmer for once as he experimentally stroked me, but I was so desperate for him, the sensation was almost too much to bear.
My fingers were in him all the way now, and I consciously aimed for an area deep inside him that, as far as humans were concerned, should have made him jolt with pleasure. I dimly remembered him telling me that apart from the obvious differences, humans and Gallifreyans were built pretty much the same.
I bent my fingers upwards slightly, turned them, stroked, and the Doctor threw his head back and let out a choked moan.
Oh, God...
The fingers of my free hand clutched desperately at his thigh.
I withdrew my fingers, and paused long enough to grab an unused pillow. Gently pulling and manoeuvring him, I tucked it under his bottom, raising him slightly into the perfect position.
He trusted me implicitly, I realised; he never questioned what I was doing. He let me take care of him. It was something I'd grown to love doing, and I didn't love what we were doing, what we had together at that moment, any the less.
I briefly considered applying more lubricant to myself, I didn't want any part of this to be uncomfortable for the Doctor, but from the look of him he was more than ready, so I didn't bother wasting any more time.
I lay on top of him, relishing the feel of our naked bodies pressed together for a moment, before carefully, slowly, nudging my way between his thighs and sliding into him. It was a moment accompanied by gasps, and jolts, and the grabbing of sheets and of flesh, but eventually we were coupled completely, and I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth, did anything I could to stop myself from tipping over the edge right away.
A man of my experience, too. Honestly. I'm almost ashamed of myself, even now, for having such little self-control. But Christ, he felt so good.
And this… this whole experience was so very overwhelming.
Before I could even move, the Doctor reached out to me and placed the flat of his hand on the side of my face, a resolute gleam in his eyes.
I gasped out loud as fizzing white electricity poured into my head, and then it was rolling down my back and racing around my hips and into my groin... I tried to steady myself, my arms shaking either side of the Doctor's body. Another burst of energy tightened itself around my groin and squeezed. I shuddered and gasped out loud again.
"Shhhh.... shhhhh... Jack..." the Doctor tried to soothe me, one hand still on my head, the other rubbing my back and shoulder. I took deep gulping breaths, trying to regain control of my mind, of my body.
Hush, my love, be still a moment. Breathe deeply. Concentrate on my voice...
I looked deep into his eyes. I was inside his body, inside his mind, and his presence was somehow inside me at the same time. I blinked, shook my head slightly, I couldn't make sense of it.
"It'll take you a moment to adjust, I'm sorry; I should have warned you…"
Was the Doctor speaking out loud, or was it telepathy? I couldn't tell. I purposely slowed my breathing. I felt dizzy. I still hadn't moved physically, and yet I felt so close to orgasm I could hardly stop shaking.
"I didn't mean to overwhelm you… I was holding back before," the Doctor's voice was like silk. "Now we're… together, coupled like this, I can make love to you properly."
This was what he meant, about it not being purely physical. I felt like the tables had been turned, like he'd been topping me all along, somehow. How did he keep doing that?
He closed his eyes a moment in concentration. A flare of heat burst through me again, and I cried out. "Doctor…" I gasped.
The Doctor opened his eyes. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"
I shook my head violently. "No… no. It's amazing… Glorious. It's just… a bit intense…"
I felt it recede a little, and the Doctor gazed at me tenderly. "Is that better?"
I nodded weakly. I suddenly felt a little inadequate. "I can't… do what you're doing to me, in return…" even the way I was trying to explain what I meant seemed incomprehensible. My voice sounded strange in my ears. Had I even said it out loud, or did I just think it?
The Doctor smiled. He took his hand away from my face, but the sensation was still there. "You're doing wonderfully. You take care of the physical part… I'll do the mind stuff, okay?"
What we always did, then.
I nodded wordlessly, and began to thrust into him, slowly at first, until he was used to the pace. The Doctor's head fell back on his pillow.
"Oh… Jack… that feels… so nice…"
Encouraged, I shifted my bodyweight onto my knees and my left arm, so that I could reach between us and take him into my hand, stroking him in time with the movement of my body; steadily getting faster.
I don't know how I held back my climax for so long, but I had a sneaking suspicion that the Doctor was responsible, somehow.
The Doctor's eyes bore into mine, and as my body moved against him, the electric heat began to course through my body again. I was accustomed to it a little more now. Somehow, I realised, the Doctor was diverting the energy, controlling it, with his mind. A thick swathe of hot energy settled in my groin, sending little jolts of pleasure and shockwaves through my entire body, the likes of which I'd never experienced before.
The Doctor was trembling, his breathing hitching in his chest. His teeth were clenched, his limbs so tense I could see the muscles bunching under his skin, the cords in his neck standing proud.
I closed my eyes, concentrated hard.
Relax
The Doctor's eyes widened slightly. He could hear me in his mind.
Do this for me, sweetheart... take a hold of everything inside you that hurts, all the pain, all the anger, and just… let it go
The Doctor let out a sound that sounded almost like a sob. He started muttering in a language I couldn't understand. Gallifreyan, maybe.
I'm here. It's okay… just… let go...
And he did. His hands gripped at my sides, his long fingers digging painfully into my flesh, but I didn't care. His head fell back and he let out the most beautiful moan as he came over my fist, his body shuddering beneath me and God help me, but I felt it too. I felt the Doctor's orgasm shudder throughout my own body, not just the physical part of it, but the release, the emotion, everything, even though I knew I hadn't physically climaxed myself.
It felt like we were one person.
I bent my head, kissed him with trembling lips through the aftershocks. After a moment, I pushed myself into him again… once… twice. On the third stroke, I felt the Doctor's body arch up to meet mine, and the heated electricity in my groin exploded .
I think I screamed. I don't think I've ever come so hard in my life.
***
It was about a minute before I could even move. I summoned all my strength and managed to at least slide sideways, half onto the bed, so that my full body weight wasn't on top of the Doctor. My head lolled onto his chest, and I felt his arm curl itself around my shoulders and long fingers begin to play with my hair.
"Fuck..." I managed to murmur.
I sensed, rather than saw, the Doctor grin. "Well... yes. Quite."
I chuckled weakly. "That was… mind-blowing. Literally." I managed to lift my head up enough to slide a supporting hand under it, so that I could look up at him.
"Will it always be like that?" I asked him, a little shakily.
The Doctor bit his lip. "Well, I'll get better at it, with practice."
"You'll get better? Jesus, Doctor, if it gets any better, you might actually succeed in killing me…"
"I'll be able to control it a bit more, I mean. The energy. It manifested itself as a purely physical sensation for you, I take it."
I hmmed in response, and found the strength to bend down my head and nuzzle at the Doctor's torso again. He had a fine patch of light brown downy hair on his chest, a surprisingly human attribute I'd not considered before.
The Doctor was staring up at the ceiling. "We got different things out of it, then."
I paused my ministrations and glanced up at him. "Is that a good thing?"
He smiled but didn't meet my eyes. "Oh yes." He hesitated. "Not that I didn't enjoy the physical aspect, of course."
It sounded to me like he was trying to be nice, and I must have stared at him for too long. Eventually he met my gaze.
"It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life," I said quietly. I was waiting for him to say something similar, but he didn't. He nodded, and then averted his eyes to the ceiling again, apparently lost in thought.
There it was; that slight air of aloofness he sometimes demonstrated, usually at the worst possible times. I hadn't noticed it in him recently.
I hate it when he gets like that. It reminds me that he isn't human.
There was a pause. Then he shifted beneath me, enough so that he could turn his body towards me and cup my face. "Sorry, Jack. I just need more practice at this sort of thing," he said, his face and voice softening. "You do want to do this again, I take it?"
I smiled faintly. "Does the Pope wear a funny hat?"
The Doctor frowned. "Probably not all the time, no. Would be a bit awkward wearing it in bed, or in the bath, I suppose."
Then he looked at me, and smirked.
He bent his head and kissed me, slowly and languorously, his hands wandering over my body like he'd decided he wanted to explore. I surrendered to his touch; incredibly, I was hardening again already.
He broke the kiss and looked at me. "I take it Ianto doesn't know you showed me that video of you two together?" he asked suddenly.
I smiled, a little guiltily. "He thinks I deleted it."
The Doctor gave me an admonishing look. I grinned. "I'll square it with him tomorrow, I swear. He won't mind. I think it's his new secret fetish."
The Doctor frowned. "Fetish… is that like… River carries handcuffs, and when I asked her about them, she had that… look on her face." He nodded and gestured at me. "Yes, that one. Is that a… sex thing, do you think?"
I stared at him. "Whoa there, that's a little advanced for a beginner…"
The Doctor chuckled. "Maybe I should concentrate on the basics first, eh?" He kissed me again, his hands continuing their voyage of discovery.
When the kiss broke, he looked at me tenderly. "I do love you, Jack," he said softly.
I stroked his face. "The feeling is entirely mutual," I said, my eyes wide.
I silently admonished myself. I shouldn't expect my ego to be massaged all the time. Maybe I was being a little too sensitive. I do tend to get a little over-emotional after sex.
But that slight niggle of uneasiness deep in the pit of my stomach just wouldn't quit.
To be continued
<< Chapter One
<< Chapter Two
<< Chapter Three
<< Chapter Four
<< Chapter Five
<< Chapter Six
<< Chapter Seven
<< Chapter Eight
<< Chapter Nine
<< Chapter Ten
<< Chapter Eleven
<< Chapter Twelve
<< Chapter Thirteen
<< Chapter Fourteen
<< Chapter Fifteen
<< Chapter Sixteen
<< Chapter Seventeen
<< Chapter Eighteen
<< Chapter Nineteen
<< Chapter Twenty
>> Chapter Twenty Two
>> Chapter Twenty Three
>> Chapter Twenty Four
>> Chapter Twenty Five
>> Chapter Twenty Six
>> Chapter Twenty Seven
>> Chapter Twenty Eight
Title: Belonging - Chapter Twenty One
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Characters Jack/Ten
Rating: This Chapter - NC-17 for explicit sexual content
Spoilers: Forest of the Dead, The Stolen Earth, Journey's End
Disclaimer: The BBC own it all, the little tinkers
Warnings: m/m slash | first time | psychic!sex
Description:
Set immediately after the events of The Stolen Earth/Journey's End.
The Torchwood team members are struggling to get back to normal after recent shattering events, when the Doctor turns up in the Torchwood Hub in the middle of the night; alone, heartbroken, guilt-ridden, and needing somewhere to belong.
Not only had all my birthdays and Christmases come at once, but I think I'd stolen somebody else's, too.
Chapter Twenty One
I paused, waiting for the Doctor as he took off his jacket and threw it over one of the coral-coloured struts in the console room. He looked at me for a moment, and then began to unfasten his tie.
"That's alright..." I said. "Leave that to me, okay?"
He nodded. He looked a little lost, so I reached out and took his hand. He gave me a small smile as I led him through the door leading into the rest of the TARDIS. I looked at him questioningly, not knowing where he wanted us to go. I knew where my old bedroom was, or at least it tended to stay in the same place most of the time, but it was full of discarded clothes, abandoned projects, pieces of circuitry and bits of technological junk I'd liked to tinker with during quieter moments, back when I used to travel with the Doctor and Rose. It didn't exactly have a romantic ambience.
The Doctor instead overtook me by a couple of steps, his long legs stretching out in front of him, so that it ended up being him leading me through the flesh-coloured corridors. We walked around a corner and along a passageway I'd never noticed before, and eventually we came to a pinky-white door, its length studded with the familiar roundels that decorated the walls of most of the rest of the ship.
Wordlessly, the Doctor pushed the door open and waited for me to enter. I glanced at him as I walked through the doorway, and once I'd entered the room I gave an appreciative gasp.
It was a bedroom, empty of furniture except for a big, soft-looking bed dressed in cream-coloured silk sheets. The room was lit with about a thousand candles, all dotted around in holders of varying heights. The walls in here were a paler pinky-orange than the rest of the ship and it smelled… I can't even describe what it smelled of, some sort of alien spice, or flower, or... I don't know, but it was very sensual.
"Is it... okay?" the Doctor asked me softly.
"Oh yeah... it's beautiful. Perfect." I turned around. "Is this...?"
The Doctor nodded. "My bedroom, yeah. I don't really use it that much to be honest, and... it didn't look like this until a few days ago. I got the TARDIS to reconfigure it. Y'know… just in case." He smiled shyly. "I think she might have had a quick poke around in your mind to see what you'd like, hope you don't mind."
I shook my head. "This isn't all about me..."
The Doctor smiled. "Oh, I know, but it was useless for her to ask for my opinion. Up until a few moments ago, this was just a place to take the odd nap, as far as I was concerned. But now... yeah. It is perfect. Clever old girl." The Doctor ran his hand smoothly down the nearest wall, stroking.
"You're gonna make me jealous in a minute..." I said, reaching for him with a smile.
The Doctor looked at his hand, realised what he was doing, and then smiled bashfully and withdraw it. I stretched my arm out next to him, and closed the door. I saw the Doctor's eyes dart to it for a second. He looked as though he felt like he was being locked in, with no escape.
"Hey," I murmured. "You sure you're ready for this?"
The Doctor swallowed, and then looked at me. He nodded. "Yes. I am. I'm just a bit... I don't really know what to..."
I shushed him, put my hands on both of his upper arms and kissed him gently. Our kiss became more heated after a moment, and at last I felt him relax a little, going so far as to wrap his arms around my waist. I pushed against him gently, kept nudging until his back was against the wall and there was enough leverage for me to push against him. I pressed my erection hard against his body. I felt him gasp into my mouth, and reeled it back a little.
Easy, tiger.
I stepped back, gave him room to breathe. He wasn't flinching away this time, which was encouraging, but I still didn't want to overwhelm him. I relaxed the kiss a little, tentatively reaching for his tie and beginning to work at the loose knot. To my surprise, I felt the Doctor's hands on my back begin to move upwards, sliding themselves under my braces and continuing to slide until the elastic began to slip sideways and off my shoulders.
I pulled away from him again, partly so that I could lift the loosened tie over his head and off, and partly so I could see what was going on in his facial expression.
He was a picture of flustered innocence; tiny apples of pink sprouting in his pale cheeks, eyelashes fluttering, lips in a slight pout. His hair was tousled.
God help me, but the overwhelming desire to rip off the rest of his clothes, and take him right there up against the wall was a difficult thing to resist.
I stepped back, took both his arms and manoeuvred him gently around so that he was standing at the foot of the bed. My hands itched to push him backwards on to it, but I mentally took my libido to one side and gave it a stern talking to.
Nice and easy does it.
Instead I concentrated on taking off his clothes. It was something I'd done before, of course, fairly recently, for that matter. I briefly remembered how difficult I'd found it to contain myself back then, and now it was even harder. Pun definitely intended.
He watched me intently as I unfastened buttons, pushed and pulled at fabric, the way he'd watched me the last time. The only difference now was that I didn't hold back from doing the things I'd longed to do the last time; licking and kissing at exposed parts of pale flesh, pausing to stroke his arms and shoulders and chest, as the shirt finally left his torso. I wasn't as careful about folding his clothes as I had been the last time either; the discarded garments merely landed crumpled and forgotten on the floor. I spent a few moments with my mouth pressed to his shoulder, sucking on his flesh gently, something else I'd longed to do for so long.
He was pale, paler even than Ianto, who spends far too much time underground and out of the sun, but he also had a delicate smattering of freckles across his shoulders and upper arms that I hadn't been able to fully appreciate before now. He didn't seem quite as skinny as he'd been before either; he'd obviously recovered enough lately to remember to eat a little more often, and there hadn't been any of that running around he normally did recently, either. He was still slim, but not as fragile and gaunt as I'd imagined he'd be.
He tipped his head back as I moved my mouth from his shoulder, delicately pressing butterfly-soft kisses across his collar bone and then making a gentle assault on his neck and throat with my lips and teeth. I delighted in managing to extract some surprised gasps from him as I pushed my tongue into the soft indentation below his Adam's apple.
I kept glancing up at him, and finding that although he closed his eyes now and then when I did something he obviously liked, he mostly kept his eyes firmly on me, as though committing everything I did to memory.
By the time my trembling fingers found the fastening of his trousers and my mouth was busy roaming his torso, I think I'd finally broken through whatever barrier his Time Lord instinct had unwillingly put up against me. His hands, which up until now had been hanging helplessly by his sides, now rose up to grab handfuls of my hair.
His trainers and trousers had joined the pile of his other clothes on the floor, and my lips were pressed against his stomach before he managed to attract my attention.
Oh God, don't tell me he's changed his mind…
"May I just…?" he said softly. I looked up at him, bemusement obvious on my lust-clouded face.
The Doctor brushed two fingers against my temple, and then I remembered.
The flash of white in my mind seemed tinged with pink this time, and the sensation of heat was even stronger. It felt like hot, fizzy treacle was sliding slowly down my spine. I pressed the side of my face against his flat belly, shuddered against him and moaned softly, my arms curling round him to embrace his waist in an effort to stop myself from sliding onto the floor like a pile of jelly.
"It might not… feel the same for you as it does for me," I heard him murmur. "You're not a Time Lord. I should imagine the energy will manifest as a more… physical sensation, for you."
"Ohhh, I'll say…" I muttered. It was like heated static electricity, and it was winding its way down my back and around my hips and it seemed to pulse, deep inside me. I could sense that the Doctor was with me, in my soul, again. It as though he was embracing me inside.
It felt incredible.
I glanced up at him. He was looking down at me, a faint smile playing around his lips.
I felt him begin to move, the physical him, and my arms slipped from his waist as he sat down on the bed and began to shift himself backwards on to it. Wordlessly, a little shakily, I followed, climbing on to the bed and over him. I kissed him again. When his hands reached round to stroke my back I realised I was still fully dressed.
I paused long enough to take off my clothes; braces already shucked off my shoulders, it took me mere seconds to toe off my boots and socks, remove my shirt, t-shirt and trousers. I climbed back over him again. He was looking me up and down, his eyes slightly wide. I glanced down at myself.
"You've seen me naked before…" I said, with a small grin. Not just recently, either. I had never been that bothered about modesty when I was travelling with him and Rose, come to think of it.
"Yeah… but not like this. It was just... biology... to me before…" said the Doctor, a little breathlessly. His hand curled around the back of my head, and he pulled it down towards him, his mouth eager to find mine. My hands wandered down his body, this time with a purpose. My mouth slid from his lips again and began to trail downwards, and every time I kissed his body, or licked, or softly bit him, I felt another tingling jolt of heat shoot through my body, leaving me breathless.
I got the distinct feeling that once the Doctor had got the hang of it and could control those bursts of physic energy coursing through my body, it would prove to be the most amazing sensory experience of my life.
My mouth found one of his nipples, and I suckled at it, feeling it harden against my tongue. I elicited a soft moan from the Doctor and my hand wound its way down his side, my fingers playing lightly over the soft ridges of his ribcage. My hand reached a spot just above his right hip, and the Doctor suddenly shuddered and grabbed at me painfully hard.
I pulled away, a little alarmed, but the Doctor had a flushed look of shocked pleasure on his face. "There's um… a… certain spot… like a sensitive nerve ending…"
A Time Lord thing, I guess. I stroked again at the same area, purposely, a small grin on my face. "…There?"
God, I loved how he gasped and arched towards me.
"Jack…" he said suddenly.
"Yeah?" I murmured, nuzzling at his chest again.
"Something's… happening."
My head rose to look at him again, a concerned frown on my face.
The Doctor's eyes were wide. He clutched at me again. "My penis. It's filling with blood… going hard…"
I somehow managed to keep a straight face. "Yeah. Um... that's meant to happen."
"I know it's meant to happen," the Doctor said, a little impatiently. "I mean… its good that it is happening, isn't it?" He smiled at me, his expression a mixture of encouragement and apprehension.
I chuckled, unable to help myself. "Yes, sweetheart. It's very, very good. But you don't have to make this sound like a biology lesson."
The Doctor blushed. "No. Sorry…"
I thought it was a good time to sit up and remove the Doctor's underwear. I threw the pants carelessly over the side of the bed on to the floor.
In case you're wondering - he looked pretty much like any other healthy human male to me. Very healthy, in fact.
I let out a slow breath. It suddenly struck me. Not only was the Doctor technically a virgin... not only that, but I was responsible for his body's first arousal... I was the first to touch him. And I was soon about to give him his first orgasm.
Not only had all my birthdays and Christmases come at once, but I think I'd stolen somebody else's, too.
The Doctor was looking at me. I could still feel him inside my head, connected to me, but only faintly. The sensation of tingling heat ebbed and flowed, as though when he was experiencing new physical sensations that were a little overwhelming, his concentration wavered.
That was okay. I figured after everything the Doctor had gone through, he deserved the distraction of a little physical pleasure for once.
"How does it feel?" I asked him. That question again. But I needed to know.
He was breathing heavily. "Like... there's something I need, but I don't really know... what." His face creased slightly.
I had a pretty good idea. I wrapped my hand around his erection and squeezed.
The Doctor almost leapt off the bed. He clutched at the sheets. "Yes..." he breathed, nodding rapidly. "That was it... Spot on. Well done…"
With a knowing smile, I leaned over his body again, kissing him deeply whilst I stroked him, my pace quickening. His hips arched upwards into my fist, his own hands grabbing at me desperately. He made mewling sounds, muffled by the kiss. I released his lips and began to kiss down his body again, until I was in the right position to remove my hand from his hardness, and replace it with my mouth.
I massaged his thigh soothingly, my other hand stroking periodically at the sensitive nerve ending I'd found above his hip. His flesh was porcelain-smooth beneath my fingers.
He tasted so good.
I looked up through heavily-lidded eyes, watching his face as I pleasured him. He looked beautiful; a soft pink glow suffused his torso and cheeks, and he clutched handfuls of silk at either side of his body. His eyes were fixed on me, eyelids fluttering, mouth parted as he gasped and made whimpering sounds, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
I can see him in my mind's eye, even now as I write this, days after it happened. I think that image of him, the image of him enjoying, for once, such overwhelming, unfettered, selfish pleasure, will remain with me for eternity.
I took him as close to orgasm as I dared, before I stopped. He was panting now, writhing, and when I sat up, his expression was etched with something I'd never thought I'd see on the Doctor's face - unadulterated lust.
"I want you..." I murmured.
The Doctor nodded. "I know... I know what you want... And it's okay... yes. I want to do everything..."
My head was fuzzy now; I was so aroused it was almost painful.
I slipped off the bed for a second and fumbled in the pocket of my discarded trousers for something, before climbing back on to the bed.
(I would add at this point that I always keep a supply of lube in my pocket. Honestly, I do. I always keep some in my office drawer too, not to mention my bedside cabinet, and there's some in the glove box of the SUV, too. The motto "Be Prepared" wasn't first coined by the Boy Scouts Association, it was me.)
I checked the Doctor's facial expression and body language for any signs of anxiety or tenseness before beginning to prepare him. He seemed a little nervous, but there was no sign of any reluctance on his part. I ensured that my fingers were heavily slicked with clear jelly before pushing my index finger gently into him, and then after a moment, adding my middle finger too. I stroked at his stomach with my free hand, made relaxing noises, but he didn’t appear to be in any pain. He probably has some sort of Time Lord ability to relax his muscles at will, or something.
He reached out for me, cautiously at first, as I prepared him, his expression a mixture of curiosity and longing. His usually cool fingers felt warmer for once as he experimentally stroked me, but I was so desperate for him, the sensation was almost too much to bear.
My fingers were in him all the way now, and I consciously aimed for an area deep inside him that, as far as humans were concerned, should have made him jolt with pleasure. I dimly remembered him telling me that apart from the obvious differences, humans and Gallifreyans were built pretty much the same.
I bent my fingers upwards slightly, turned them, stroked, and the Doctor threw his head back and let out a choked moan.
Oh, God...
The fingers of my free hand clutched desperately at his thigh.
I withdrew my fingers, and paused long enough to grab an unused pillow. Gently pulling and manoeuvring him, I tucked it under his bottom, raising him slightly into the perfect position.
He trusted me implicitly, I realised; he never questioned what I was doing. He let me take care of him. It was something I'd grown to love doing, and I didn't love what we were doing, what we had together at that moment, any the less.
I briefly considered applying more lubricant to myself, I didn't want any part of this to be uncomfortable for the Doctor, but from the look of him he was more than ready, so I didn't bother wasting any more time.
I lay on top of him, relishing the feel of our naked bodies pressed together for a moment, before carefully, slowly, nudging my way between his thighs and sliding into him. It was a moment accompanied by gasps, and jolts, and the grabbing of sheets and of flesh, but eventually we were coupled completely, and I closed my eyes, clenched my teeth, did anything I could to stop myself from tipping over the edge right away.
A man of my experience, too. Honestly. I'm almost ashamed of myself, even now, for having such little self-control. But Christ, he felt so good.
And this… this whole experience was so very overwhelming.
Before I could even move, the Doctor reached out to me and placed the flat of his hand on the side of my face, a resolute gleam in his eyes.
I gasped out loud as fizzing white electricity poured into my head, and then it was rolling down my back and racing around my hips and into my groin... I tried to steady myself, my arms shaking either side of the Doctor's body. Another burst of energy tightened itself around my groin and squeezed. I shuddered and gasped out loud again.
"Shhhh.... shhhhh... Jack..." the Doctor tried to soothe me, one hand still on my head, the other rubbing my back and shoulder. I took deep gulping breaths, trying to regain control of my mind, of my body.
Hush, my love, be still a moment. Breathe deeply. Concentrate on my voice...
I looked deep into his eyes. I was inside his body, inside his mind, and his presence was somehow inside me at the same time. I blinked, shook my head slightly, I couldn't make sense of it.
"It'll take you a moment to adjust, I'm sorry; I should have warned you…"
Was the Doctor speaking out loud, or was it telepathy? I couldn't tell. I purposely slowed my breathing. I felt dizzy. I still hadn't moved physically, and yet I felt so close to orgasm I could hardly stop shaking.
"I didn't mean to overwhelm you… I was holding back before," the Doctor's voice was like silk. "Now we're… together, coupled like this, I can make love to you properly."
This was what he meant, about it not being purely physical. I felt like the tables had been turned, like he'd been topping me all along, somehow. How did he keep doing that?
He closed his eyes a moment in concentration. A flare of heat burst through me again, and I cried out. "Doctor…" I gasped.
The Doctor opened his eyes. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"
I shook my head violently. "No… no. It's amazing… Glorious. It's just… a bit intense…"
I felt it recede a little, and the Doctor gazed at me tenderly. "Is that better?"
I nodded weakly. I suddenly felt a little inadequate. "I can't… do what you're doing to me, in return…" even the way I was trying to explain what I meant seemed incomprehensible. My voice sounded strange in my ears. Had I even said it out loud, or did I just think it?
The Doctor smiled. He took his hand away from my face, but the sensation was still there. "You're doing wonderfully. You take care of the physical part… I'll do the mind stuff, okay?"
What we always did, then.
I nodded wordlessly, and began to thrust into him, slowly at first, until he was used to the pace. The Doctor's head fell back on his pillow.
"Oh… Jack… that feels… so nice…"
Encouraged, I shifted my bodyweight onto my knees and my left arm, so that I could reach between us and take him into my hand, stroking him in time with the movement of my body; steadily getting faster.
I don't know how I held back my climax for so long, but I had a sneaking suspicion that the Doctor was responsible, somehow.
The Doctor's eyes bore into mine, and as my body moved against him, the electric heat began to course through my body again. I was accustomed to it a little more now. Somehow, I realised, the Doctor was diverting the energy, controlling it, with his mind. A thick swathe of hot energy settled in my groin, sending little jolts of pleasure and shockwaves through my entire body, the likes of which I'd never experienced before.
The Doctor was trembling, his breathing hitching in his chest. His teeth were clenched, his limbs so tense I could see the muscles bunching under his skin, the cords in his neck standing proud.
I closed my eyes, concentrated hard.
Relax
The Doctor's eyes widened slightly. He could hear me in his mind.
Do this for me, sweetheart... take a hold of everything inside you that hurts, all the pain, all the anger, and just… let it go
The Doctor let out a sound that sounded almost like a sob. He started muttering in a language I couldn't understand. Gallifreyan, maybe.
I'm here. It's okay… just… let go...
And he did. His hands gripped at my sides, his long fingers digging painfully into my flesh, but I didn't care. His head fell back and he let out the most beautiful moan as he came over my fist, his body shuddering beneath me and God help me, but I felt it too. I felt the Doctor's orgasm shudder throughout my own body, not just the physical part of it, but the release, the emotion, everything, even though I knew I hadn't physically climaxed myself.
It felt like we were one person.
I bent my head, kissed him with trembling lips through the aftershocks. After a moment, I pushed myself into him again… once… twice. On the third stroke, I felt the Doctor's body arch up to meet mine, and the heated electricity in my groin exploded .
I think I screamed. I don't think I've ever come so hard in my life.
***
It was about a minute before I could even move. I summoned all my strength and managed to at least slide sideways, half onto the bed, so that my full body weight wasn't on top of the Doctor. My head lolled onto his chest, and I felt his arm curl itself around my shoulders and long fingers begin to play with my hair.
"Fuck..." I managed to murmur.
I sensed, rather than saw, the Doctor grin. "Well... yes. Quite."
I chuckled weakly. "That was… mind-blowing. Literally." I managed to lift my head up enough to slide a supporting hand under it, so that I could look up at him.
"Will it always be like that?" I asked him, a little shakily.
The Doctor bit his lip. "Well, I'll get better at it, with practice."
"You'll get better? Jesus, Doctor, if it gets any better, you might actually succeed in killing me…"
"I'll be able to control it a bit more, I mean. The energy. It manifested itself as a purely physical sensation for you, I take it."
I hmmed in response, and found the strength to bend down my head and nuzzle at the Doctor's torso again. He had a fine patch of light brown downy hair on his chest, a surprisingly human attribute I'd not considered before.
The Doctor was staring up at the ceiling. "We got different things out of it, then."
I paused my ministrations and glanced up at him. "Is that a good thing?"
He smiled but didn't meet my eyes. "Oh yes." He hesitated. "Not that I didn't enjoy the physical aspect, of course."
It sounded to me like he was trying to be nice, and I must have stared at him for too long. Eventually he met my gaze.
"It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life," I said quietly. I was waiting for him to say something similar, but he didn't. He nodded, and then averted his eyes to the ceiling again, apparently lost in thought.
There it was; that slight air of aloofness he sometimes demonstrated, usually at the worst possible times. I hadn't noticed it in him recently.
I hate it when he gets like that. It reminds me that he isn't human.
There was a pause. Then he shifted beneath me, enough so that he could turn his body towards me and cup my face. "Sorry, Jack. I just need more practice at this sort of thing," he said, his face and voice softening. "You do want to do this again, I take it?"
I smiled faintly. "Does the Pope wear a funny hat?"
The Doctor frowned. "Probably not all the time, no. Would be a bit awkward wearing it in bed, or in the bath, I suppose."
Then he looked at me, and smirked.
He bent his head and kissed me, slowly and languorously, his hands wandering over my body like he'd decided he wanted to explore. I surrendered to his touch; incredibly, I was hardening again already.
He broke the kiss and looked at me. "I take it Ianto doesn't know you showed me that video of you two together?" he asked suddenly.
I smiled, a little guiltily. "He thinks I deleted it."
The Doctor gave me an admonishing look. I grinned. "I'll square it with him tomorrow, I swear. He won't mind. I think it's his new secret fetish."
The Doctor frowned. "Fetish… is that like… River carries handcuffs, and when I asked her about them, she had that… look on her face." He nodded and gestured at me. "Yes, that one. Is that a… sex thing, do you think?"
I stared at him. "Whoa there, that's a little advanced for a beginner…"
The Doctor chuckled. "Maybe I should concentrate on the basics first, eh?" He kissed me again, his hands continuing their voyage of discovery.
When the kiss broke, he looked at me tenderly. "I do love you, Jack," he said softly.
I stroked his face. "The feeling is entirely mutual," I said, my eyes wide.
I silently admonished myself. I shouldn't expect my ego to be massaged all the time. Maybe I was being a little too sensitive. I do tend to get a little over-emotional after sex.
But that slight niggle of uneasiness deep in the pit of my stomach just wouldn't quit.
To be continued
<< Chapter One
<< Chapter Two
<< Chapter Three
<< Chapter Four
<< Chapter Five
<< Chapter Six
<< Chapter Seven
<< Chapter Eight
<< Chapter Nine
<< Chapter Ten
<< Chapter Eleven
<< Chapter Twelve
<< Chapter Thirteen
<< Chapter Fourteen
<< Chapter Fifteen
<< Chapter Sixteen
<< Chapter Seventeen
<< Chapter Eighteen
<< Chapter Nineteen
<< Chapter Twenty
>> Chapter Twenty Two
>> Chapter Twenty Three
>> Chapter Twenty Four
>> Chapter Twenty Five
>> Chapter Twenty Six
>> Chapter Twenty Seven
>> Chapter Twenty Eight