The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chatper 2.2
previous: 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | 1.9
2.1
Markus: Hey Porkchop! ;D what are you doing?
Porkchop: Welding, cause I'm badass like that.
Markus: Oh, don't you think maybe you should wear safety goggles?
Porkchop: Safety goggles are for pussies.
Markus: Oh hey Freckles, there you are. *proceeds to suck face*
Porkchop: Pfft. What a pussy. Safety goggles. Ha!
Porkchop: I think I have a facial hair! Oh man. I am so growing a beard. I am so way manlier than Markus. Don't you agree Anna?
Anna: .....*blink* Of course...
I don't know though. Markus has got some...thing...about him.
Gage: So! Markus! I wanted to talk to you about something-
Markus: YES FRECKLES SLEPT OVER LAST NIGHT BUT SHE SLEPT IN MY MUM'S ROOM AND I SLEPT IN MINE OMG PLEASE DON'T KILL ME
Gage: -could you show me how to beat level 15...what did you say?
Markus: What? Nothing. I didn't say anything. HEY! How about that video game!
Once again, video games save the day! Beating a difficult level for your girlfriend's dad is way better than being pulverized for defiling his baby girl.
Freckles also happens to think it's way sexy.
Freckles: Baby, I love the way the handled my father. That was just so hot. If you come with me, I'll show you just how hot.
Peanut: Well this is an interesting development.
Markus: Don't you think Squishy will mind us doing this in his bed Freckles?
Freckles: Baby, I walk on the wild side. I live for danger. My brother be damned!
So, when I saw "woohoo with Markus" pop up in Freckles queue, this is not what I expected. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN ROOM DAMMIT!
Squishy: Well that was a delicious salad. I'm going to go work on my new novel now I think. *happy sigh* What a wonderful evening.
Anna: ohgodohgodohgodoooohhhgod!
Markus: My life is so awesome!
Evil Pink Bunny of Doom: Mwuahahaha! My evil plan is working!
Markus: Freckles, you are the hottest, sexiest, most awesome girl ever. I kinda think I love you.
Freckles: Obvs. Who doesn't?
Squishy: Uhm. What are you guys doing in my room? ...in your underwear?
Markus and Freckles: Nothing! *leaves*
They may have just like, ruined my night by ruining Squish's, but I got to admit. They are kind of adorable together.
Since Freckles is heir and all, and Porkchop and Squishy both have their hobby objects, I thought I'd splurge and get Freckles a drafting board. She seems to really like it.
Look at him. So innocent. So at peace....
Freckles: BLURRGGGHHHHH
...I fucking hate him.
Markus: I just got a cold shiver down my spine. Huh. Weird.
Anna: Yea, it's your impending doom. You better look sheepish!
Markus, although cute, is very stupid. This is the conclusion I've drawn.
Squishy: What. The fuck. Is he doing in my room? ON MY COMPUTER!? *eye twitch*
Markus: Oh look at the time! I better be going now!
Squishy: pantpantpant.
Squishy has officially lost it.
Squishy: As if it wasn't bad enough you screwed my sister in MY bed but now you have to come in here at the ungodly hour of 10 in the morning and use my computer! GOD! KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY STUFF!
Markus: Whoa dude! Why all the hostility man? This is the only computer in the house, I needed to check my email.
Squishy: OMG DO THAT AT YOUR HOUSE!
Markus: Look. I get the feeling that this is about Freckles. I love her okay dude? You're just going to have to deal with that.
Squishy: Omg you're so annoying! I don't give a shit if you love her! I need to burn my sheets now thanks to you! GOD!
Markus: I don't understand the problem...
Squishy: I can see I'm going to need to get dressed if this conversation is going to be effective.
Squishy: My name is Markus and I think I'm so clever and awesome. I think everyone loves me. I think I can just have sex in Squishy's bed and use his computer and touch his stuff and everyone will think it's soooo funny. I'm just a big ol' stupid face!
Markus: EXCUSE ME?!
Markus: Who do you think you're calling a stupid face? Eh poo brains?
Squishy: Uh you stupid. I'm calling you a stupid face. But really, great job with the comeback. It was really hurtful. Cut me deep, to the bone you asshat.
Porkchop: Uh, Mum, is that Squishy and Markus I hear yelling at each other?
Peanut: Probably.
Porkchop: Should we go in and do something?
Peanut: Mmmm, I don't think that would be the best idea...
Porkchop: Yea..I'm going in.
Squishy: YOU'RE A MORON! TAKE THAT YOU BRAINLESS TWIT!
Porkchop: Omg! I shouldn't have come in here!
Squishy: Gtfo my house and never return llama breath!
Porkchop: Squishy! Why would you do this! WHY?!
Squishy: I hate him! And his stupid face!
I love how neurotic and sensitive Porkchop is. ^^
...yup. That's all I have to comment on.
Freckles came up to see her boyfriend who just had his ass handed to him by Squishy.
Freckles: Look, I'm sorry about Squishy. He's just kind of a drama queen sometimes.
Markus: He's kind of a douche is what he is.
Freckles: Yea well, that douche is kind of my brother, and I kind of love him. So try and be nice.
Markus: You're right, I'm sorry. He just made me so angry.
Freckles: Well I know the perfect way to get back at him.
Markus: heh heh heh.
Holy fuu- Not again! *facepalm*
Purple: Squishy, while we're enjoying these delicious waffles made by Dad, can I ask you why you flipped out on Markus like that?
Squishy: I woke up and he was using my computer. Also, I'm pretty sure he and Freckles had sex in my bed last night.
Porkchop: *cough hack cough*
Squishy: Yea. I hate him. He is so going down!
Freckles is entirely unfazed by the whole ordeal. Yea, this family turned into a soap opera over night, but her and Gage are just living it up playing video games.
Gage: HOLY SHIT! How did you do that?!
Gage: Urgh! You are so going down!
Freckles: Mmmhhmm. I think not Father dear.
Markus: Squishy. Can I please sit beside my girlfriend?
Squishy: No.
Markus: Squishy, can you please stop being an ass and let me sit down beside Freckles?
Squishy: Nope. Fuck you.
Freckles: Squishy. Stop being a douche.
Squishy: Fine. I'll go. But I won't go happily!
Thus begins Squishy passive agressive plan to take down Markus.
The whole ordeal was very tough on Porkchop and he spent a good deal of time staring out the window. I can only imagine he's dreaming of getting out of this bedlam.
Squishy: My Sister is Dating an Asshole. Chapter 1: How Ugly is His Face? His face is very ugly. It's so ugly, it makes me want to barf. It's uglier than...
Squishy is turning his anger into something profitable at least.
I felt bad for what was happening with their kids, so the next night I sent Gage and Peanut into town to have a nice romantic dinner.
Gage: You know, in this light, I really wish I could paint so I could capture this moment. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. Marrying you was the best decision of my life.
Peanut: Okay Peanut, don't tear up. Yes he's the sweetest man alive.
She really is so beautiful ♥
Peanut: I'm glad you still feel that way Gage. Cause I'm a lucky girl to have you in my life.
Awww, sappy love moment. Okay, I couldn't resist. We don't see them much anymore but they're still very much in love. I &heart; it.
Gage: He's still here? It's been days now!
Peanut: I just try and ignore it. It keeps me happier.
Freckles: Anna. Hi. Uhm. My legs. What the fuck happened to them?
Anna: Well darling, you're preggers.
Freckles: Fix this please?!
I could only assume she meant the outfit since I can't (or won't, who knows?) do anything about the baby. So she got a cute (ish) maternity outfit.
Freckles: Heeeyyyy. Honey. We need to talk.
Markus: Heh. I like talking. Is this sexy talking? ;)
Freckles: Heh. Well, in a way, it's sexy related...
Squishy: Sucks to be you asshole. Just ruined your life. HAHAHA! I hate you.
WELL! That's it for today! Just so you all know. One. I did not intend for Freckles to get pregnant. Two. I did not tell them to woohoo in Squishy's bed. In fact, I didn't tell them to woohoo at all. I was quite distressed by the whole thing. Third. Squishy and Markus' animosity is entirely game created. There has been no meddling on my part. Just saying.
Thanks again for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you. Awww. Sappy love moment #2! ;D