Addictive Obsession - Chapter fifteen [part I]
Title: Addictive obsession
Authors: aroruae & fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Akame, slight Kokame & Jinda
Genre: Smut, AU, drama, tragedy
Warnings: use of drugs, whoring, slaving, insanity, bad language, incest and a lot more to come xD You've been warned, so don't read if you don't want to see them in a lot of pain *evil laugh*
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, but we're in the process of making it true!! The proof is Jin's twitter~ And now his facebook and OMG, youtube account!!
Summary: Kazuya’s addiction becomes Jin’s obsession. They came to need each other to the extend of wanting to kill.
A/N: Exams have started so the next chapters of AO and SW will be a little delayed...
First Scent ~ Strawberry
Second Scent ~ Poison
Third Scent ~ Musk
Fourth Scent ~ Ecstasy
Fifth Scent ~ Spring
Sixth Scent ~ Fear
Seventh Scent ~ Sky
Eighth Scent ~ Winter
Ninth Scent ~ Loneliness
Tenth scent ~ Run
Eleventh Scent ~ You
Twelfth Scent ~ Statice
Thirteenth Scent ~ Body
Fourteenth Scent ~ Memory
Chapter fifteen
Fifteenth scent ~ Toxic
Kazuya opened his eyes and stared at the white and familiar ceiling. He wanted to snuggle some more under the warmth of his blankets only to find that in fact it was someone’s warmth. He turned his head to his right and saw Jin sleeping next to him with his arms around his body. Kazuya smiled at the sight and studied every feature of the sleeping man. If Jin had not been last night beside him… then Kazuya would have crashed down and once more resorted to amphetamine. Somehow, he knew everything that happened last night when both Jin and his father had entered his room, worried because of his screams. He had heard them talk about amphetamine and had felt Jin getting angry at his father because he didn’t know about Kazuya not taking pills anymore.
Through bits of his nightmare, the younger had listened to them, too afraid to speak or to wake up from his state. And Jin had never left him alone through the night, keeping him warm and safe, protecting him like he said he would. For this, Kazuya was more than grateful and he felt his soul filled with warmth, happiness and… love. Maybe it really was love, because Kazuya had never felt this unexpected and unknown feeling ever before, not even for Koki who had been there for him too. And he couldn’t find another name for this emotion except love. Of course, he might lie to himself, he might deceive himself once more… but he was willing to take this risk again, he was willing to depend once more on a single person even if that meant that everything will crumble down when that person would want to destroy him. Just like his mother did.
Kazuya closed his eyes, rinsing away the image of his mother, wanting to not think of her, but of Jin, the person who had held him through the night. He lifted his hand and caressed lightly the other’s face, smiling at the slightly pouting cheeks. Then he saw him frowning and Kazuya put his index finger between his brows, to make the crease that formed between them disappear. It was funny playing with Jin like this, funny and calming in the same time. Kazuya decided to pull slightly at Jin’s ear lob, repressing a chuckle as the older grunted displeased. Then he lifted his upper body, carefully not to wake Jin and blew slowly into his ear. Again the other grunted and almost hit Kazuya as he wanted to chase away whatever was disturbing him. The younger reverted to his position and began to play with his fingers on Jin’s face.
“Too cute.” Kazuya mouthed with a pout, his voice barely a whisper.
“I should be saying that.” Jin replied with a low and sleepy voice, making weird expressions to keep Kazuya’s fingers away which were a little ticklish in that moment. It took him a few seconds to open his eyes and when he did and met the younger’s brown eyes, Jin couldn’t stop a smile from appearing on his lips, even if it was small and still a little beaten by sleep. “Morning.” He said with a lovely expression and moved a little to peck Kazuya’s lips, letting his hand to continue caress the boy’s cheek. “How are you feeling?” he added, now worry obvious in his voice.
“I’m fine, thanks.” Kazuya replied, smiling at Jin. “And yeah… morning.” And he leaned forward to catch Jin’s lips into the sweetest kiss Kazuya had ever offered. He had longed for Jin’s kiss even more after last night and having him so close, feeling him beside him, the younger couldn’t help but to take what he wanted from the first place. As their lips touched, as their tongues slowly brushed against each other, Kazuya felt his heart beat faster and his body trembling slightly in Jin’s arms. The words were there, only not uttered - I want you.
Jin answered to the kiss a little surprised at first, but then, as the realization grew on him, he started to answer more confidently and with more power and eagerness for the boy in his arms. He slowly moved, crawling on the bed and straddling Kazuya, keeping his hands pinned to the bed but with a gentle grip, letting the younger free himself if he wanted to. Their legs entangled under the sheets and their breaths became one as they moved against each other, earning for more touching and for more of them, wanting to feel each other and both feeling the raw desire that had grown so much in the past week.
“First thing in the morning…” Kazuya muttered against Jin’s lips and pulled the other closer to him, their groins now touching as he lifted his body brushing slowly against Jin’s one. “…sex with you.” He continued as he bit onto the lower lip of Jin, as his hands clutched around his locks. “The best breakfast.” He added, moaning as Jin grinded his body into Kazuya’s, earning for more friction and to touch more of the boy’s skin.
The older smirked and bit on Kazuya’s tongue, soothing it after with his own tongue and lips, entangling into a battle with Kazuya and trying to dominate the younger, but enjoying the fact that he couldn’t and letting himself fall pray to his lover’s attacks.
“I’d have you for breakfast,” Jin murmured against Kazuya’s lips, teasing them with a short lick and then kissing them fully, tasting the sweet cavern and growling unsatisfied because he couldn’t get enough of it, “for lunch,” he continued with the same breathy and aroused voice, letting his lips travel on Kazuya’s neck, down on his body and meeting one of his nipples which Jin took the pleasure to suck on it, ripping apart the shirt that tried to hide it, “and for dinner.” He concluded, now his hands roaming over the younger’s body, playing with his pants and grabbing the boy’s arousal through the thin material, brushing his fingers against it and then detaching them from it only to let his body grind again on his boyfriend’s body, enjoying the moans of need that Kazuya breathed through his half-parted lips.
“You greedy twerp.” Kazuya whispered through rasp pants and encircled Jin’s waist, moving up and down, their hardened members rubbing against each other. He was so happy that they were in their pajamas, he could feel so much of Jin and he could touch so easily. His hands slipped under Jin’s shirt, scratching and touching the burning skin, digging his nails as Jin was biting and sucking him, making his body shake under his. He let his hands roam on Jin’s back before heading slowly to his ass, sliding under the thin pants and placing feathery touches over his ass cheeks before grabbing them firmly and pushing his lower part into his, passion exploding in his body, lust taking over his already clouded mind. “Have me already, I’m going crazy.” Kazuya muttered, looking at Jin as his face wore an expression of utmost desire and yearning.
The logical question would have been if this was alright, considering the fact that Kazuya’s father was in the same house and, who knows, maybe at a close distance from them. But Jin had never been the type to worry about things like that, preferring just to take rather than to give, so he smirked again and crushed his mouth against Kazuya’s as his hands finally stopped their teasing and undressed the boy of his clothes. He only needed a moment to throw both of their pajamas on the floor and then his mouth was pressed against Kazuya’s again, letting his tongue go deep into the younger’ mouth and sucking on the boy’s tongue with passion and growing arousal. His right hand touched Kazuya’s cock and traced a thin line on its length, only his nails touching it and making Kazuya release moans of exasperation and grunts of neediness. His other hand traveled on the boy’s body, slowly engraving every part of Kazuya’s body into Jin’s mind, letting his fingertips know Kazuya’s skin and letting Kazuya’s body to only know the warmth of his hands. He slowly descended and let it slip behind Kazuya’s back, lifting his ass to have more room to move.
Their lips found each other again and Jin growled into the kiss, making a swift move so that Kazuya would be above him. He smirked, now feeling content with their position and his freedom of movement and pocked his fingers at Kazuya’s ass, penetrating it with one. The younger bit Jin’s lower lip at the feeling of intrusion and closed his eyes, letting his head fall on Jin’s shoulder.
“Kazuya…” he heard his name being called and a sudden rush of adrenaline possessed his body as Jin glued their bodies and started to move his hips, their erections touching and moving together as he added his second finger and made scissoring movements to stretch Kazuya.
And, God, it felt so good. But it wasn’t enough so Kazuya mouthed to Jin - “More.” If he had to explain what ‘more’ meant, he wouldn’t know from where to begin. Kazuya felt an overwhelming desire for Jin, the lack of sex making him go crazy, and he wondered for a brief moment why he only felt it now, when he was in Jin’s arms and the older was almost like begging to let him fuck Kazuya. He didn’t think at it too much, deciding that it was more important to focus on Jin and his hands and his fingers which felt like something that wanted to knock him down from pleasure. He needed more so he pushed his ass on Jin’s fingers, burying them even more into his hole and biting his lips to refrain from screaming as the pain pierced through him.
Jin released a moan and his free hand grabbed his own cock, starting to pump it as he felt like exploding only from Kazuya’s aroused and alluring face. But the boy stopped him and when Jin looked at Kazuya, he saw him smirking, a shiver passing through Jin’s body as the image of a cruel and sadistic Kazuya went to his brain and climbed down to his cock.
“Not so fast…” Kazuya whispered at Jin’s ear and laughed as he heard a whimper leaving Jin’s lips. He looked at him and his smirk widened even more as he met Jin’s playful and uncertain eyes, the desire and lust clearly written in them. He was curious about his lover’s intentions, seeing as it had been so long since the younger had taken the initiative in bed and leaded their sexual act. Jin couldn’t say that he was complaining about it, because having an obedient Kazuya at his mercy and hearing him screaming for more was more than Jin would have wanted. But an aggressive Kazuya… was fearful. And sinful.
Kazuya leaned down and kissed Jin’s right eye and then bit his arcade, earning a yelp from the older one and then licking it slowly, his eyes concentrated on Jin’s as they watched every movement of Kazuya’s. He licked Jin’s cheek and went even lower, letting his tongue leave a wet trace behind it while his hands buried their nails into Jin’s hot flesh, making the older squirm under his painful and wanting touch.
“You want me, Jin?” Kazuya asked with a low voice, so lustful that it made Jin become even harder if that was possible. He whined silently and Kazuya laughed softly. “Come on, baby…” the younger continued as his tongue circled around one of Jin’s nipples and his ass started to move again against Jin’s fingers, their erections touching and making both of them go mad. “Tell me…” he whispered in the silence of the room where only Jin’s breathy moans and painful whimpers could be heard, accompanied by Kazuya’s groans and heavy breathing.
“I want you, Kazuya…” Jin deemed sure to answer as soon as he found back his voice which now sounded raspy, empty of all feelings but the ones that Kazuya induced to him. “I fucking want you…” he added with a more powerful tone, trying to decide if he should just take Kazuya or if he should let himself endure the torture of the younger.
“Good goy…” Kazuya laughed again but stopped Jin for the second time when his hand darted towards his crotch to help his release. “My game this time.” He explained, only with a light smirk as he grabbed both of Jin’s hands and pinned them to the bed. Kazuya took a deep breath as he could finally breathe freely, not having anything inside him to disturb his thoughts or movements, while Jin pouted, clearly unhappy that things were going so slow, but still submitting to Kazuya’s will. They looked in each other’s eyes for a moment which seemed like an eternity and then Kazuya finally moved again, bringing one of Jin’s hands to his mouth - the one that had been buried deep inside him - and started to suck on the older one’s fingers, his gaze never leaving Jin’s darkened eyes. He licked the index finger and Jin flinched with expectation, a weird sparkle settling in his eyes. Kazuya bit the middle finger too and Jin writhed under the boy’s body, moaning shamelessly when Kazuya started to suck on it, a chuckle dancing on his lips.
“Kazuya…” Jin said the younger’s name, the plea obvious in his tone and his eyes begging the boy to touch him already and stop his taunting.
“I would love to hear you screaming, Jin…” Kazuya replied, not baffled by his lover’s short endurance, as he moved a little lower to bite on Jin’s wrist, his other hand closing itself on the older one’s mouth to stop him from screaming as he had wanted. “Too bad that I can’t because my father would hear us.” He continued, amused by this whole situation that he had never thought he would live one day. Jin looked at him and his expression changed for a moment, like only the idea of having someone hear them - even more if it was Kazuya’s father - made him more excited, more aroused. He bucked his hips against Kazuya and the younger settled his hands on the bed to keep himself from falling, as his legs didn’t seem to resist too much after Jin’s earlier treatment.
It was Jin’s turn to smirk. “What, you can’t resist me after all?” he teased with a raspy voice, looking at Kazuya with a confident expression as the younger glared at him.
“I told you that you lost your charm, babe. You can’t fool me with your sex moves.” Kazuya replied with the same voice, now seeming a little bit more in control as he looked at Jin and resumed his earlier actions, biting on Jin’s arm, from his wrist to his elbow and then his shoulder. He didn’t stopped then and continued to bury his teeth into Jin’s flesh, spreading marks all over his body, sometimes biting hard and then licking it gently to reduce the pain, other times biting softly, only breathing over his skin and sending shivers all over his body.
He stopped above Jin’s stomach and lifted his gaze to look at Jin and see him gulping and biting his lips, nervous but still curious and needy for more. He shoved his tongue into Jin’s navel and felt him squirm under his administrations, feeling a sense of accomplishment as Jin spread his legs, inviting Kazuya to go on. Only that the younger had other plans and just gave a short lick to Jin’s crotch, lifting himself up again to see the older one’s face better and to straddle him.
“Tell me how much you want me.” The younger whispered and Jin closed his eyes for a moment to not moan loudly at the sinful image of Kazuya that presented itself in front of Jin. He couldn’t suppress his growl in the next second though because Kazuya poked his crotch and moved his ass above Jin’s cock, teasing his hole and enjoying the fact that it will be soon buried inside of him.
“I want you more than anything.” Jin replied, talking slowly as he felt like losing his breath completely. “I want to feel your ass tightening around my cock.” He continued and Kazuya let his head fall down again on Jin’s shoulder, not having too much strength. Jin seemed to be approving this as he raised his leg to circle the younger’s waist and flipped them over to let him be above Kazuya once again. “I want to be buried deep inside of you and to hear you screaming my name, not knowing anything else than this.” Jin added as he entered Kazuya with a brief move.
Kazuya screamed because of the pain that came together with the pleasure of being one with Jin, but the older muffled his screams with a kiss. There were tears in Kazuya’s eyes but what was more was the raw need and pure lust that changed the color of them in one of a bright and liquid yellow gold. His hands encircled Jin’s neck, deepening their kiss, his moans dissipating in the meeting of their tongues, in the clash of their teeth and in the bruising of their lips. Jin pushed himself even more into Kazuya, holding the younger tightly as his own body shivered at the warmth and tightness he felt around his hardened member. Oh, how long has it been since he hasn’t felt Kazuya like this? How long has it been since he buried himself into his body, feeling him writhing and trashing under him, moans and screams following one after another as he swallowed them all? Definitely not five days because such a short time could have not drawn from him such a deep need and arousal just from kissing Kazuya, just like it had happened last night. But now he was finally united with him, he was deep inside the boy and nothing matter but him and Kazuya.
Jin started to move slowly at first, giving time to Kazuya to adjust but as he wanted to do so, the boy looked at him, face all flushed, eyes burning with desire and his mouth parted then it formed the words that had him lose control. Those curved and red lips that were only for him to devour, swallowing whatever words the younger wanted to say more, driving him past madness. So he pushed deeper into Kazuya and the body under him arched beautifully as Kazuya’s hands dug painfully into his skin, while his tongue sucked him into his mouth, whimpering of pleasure against it. Jin grabbed Kazuya’s legs and spread them more and breaking their wild kiss, he rose and put Kazuya’s legs on his shoulder as his hands moved now to hold the younger’s waist. He began to move more, at first slow, then faster, enjoying the sight of Kazuya trashing under him, biting his lips to not scream of pleasure or pain, it didn’t matter which was. The sight was too much of enchanting. And he kept prodding into Kazuya, wanting to reach that sweet spot that will have the younger soar above the clouds, the only thing he’ll know being the person who had driven him there - Jin. Kazuya writhed under him, grabbed the pillows around him and turned his face away as he - guilty of wanting more - began to thrust his hips, helping Jin enter him more, to offer him more pleasure.
Jin’s hand curled around his cock, pumping it as he began to fasten up the pace of his thrusts. The younger stretched his hands towards Jin, wanting to touch, wanting to tease just as the older was doing. But it fell limp against the bed as the hand around his cock tightened and its pace increased. He would lose, Kazuya knew, just as the climax came soaring at him and not from just one point… but from three as Jin chose to place a short and maddening kiss on the back of his knee exact in that moment. The second he came, Jin reached the sweet spot inside of him and the orgasm hit him double. Jin followed him in a matter of seconds and both of them fell limp on the bed, breathing heavily and trying to control the rapid movement of their hearts. Their legs remained tangled and their hands found each other, entwining into a loving grip, Jin staying on top of Kazuya even after he pulled out of the younger one, choosing to listen more to Kazuya’s heart beating and to feel more of the way his chest was moving up and down, knowing that it was because of him.
They needed some time to cool off but soon enough, Jin started spreading short kisses on Kazuya’s neck and chest in a loving way, entwining his left hand with the boy’s and bringing the other one to his waist in a possessive manner. “I missed you.” The older one confessed and sighed happily, thinking that he didn’t need anything more if he could just stay like that with his lover for eternity - or at least for the rest of their life.
“I know.” Kazuya replied, squeezing Jin’s hand a little. He was feeling a little drowsy, the sex had been intense and the feelings had consumed him inside out. “Thanks…” The younger one muttered and he brought his other hand to Jin’s neck, playing with hair ends of his lover’s hair. “…for the other night.” Kazuya completed, feeling that maybe he shouldn’t talk about this, but he knew that they had to in the end.
“Are you okay now?” Jin asked immediately, betraying the fact that he had wanted to ask this since he had woken up, but he had been a little… distracted. He pushed himself away from Kazuya a little to be able to look into his eyes, but his hands remained at their place and the distance between their bodies didn’t increase. “I mean…” he added and bit his lower lips, “if you want to talk about it, I’m here. And I’m willing to listen and to help you. I’d do anything for you.” He said all of this from one breath, feeling that he won’t be able to do it if he stopped even for a second.
Kazuya looked back at Jin with an insecure expression on his face. “I know you’d do anything for me.” He smiled, ignoring the small voice in his head that said Jin was even capable of crime for his being. “As for last night… I wouldn’t know what to say to you, since you saw what sort of nightmare I had.” Kazuya then added with a small voice, biting on his lower lip.
Jin smiled gently and cupped Kazuya’s cheek into his hand, leaning closer to place a reassuring kiss on his forehead then on his nose. “I’m not going to ask you to tell me about your mother or what she had done to you,” he confessed, thinking that he already knew enough and that he was going to perform another investigation no matter what the younger one would say, “but I do want you to tell me if you keep having these nightmares.” He scolded his lover, not liking that much the fact that even his father - a murderer - knew about this and he, who was Kazuya’s lover, didn’t . “I can’t stop them from coming, but I can be there for you.” He added, his eyes boring into the younger one’s as he wanted the boy to see his honesty and sincerity.
Kazuya nodded his head with an insecure smile as he scurried closer to Jin. “Then be there for me, chase my demons away.” He whispered, holding Jin lightly as he nuzzled his face into his lover’s chest. “I’m sorry.” He apologized, not really sure of why he was doing this - but he felt that he had to.
Jin didn’t answer, he just let his body and the warmth of his heart say what his words couldn’t possibly do in a million years.
“I’ll be there for you.”
*
It was suffocating and unbearable. That’s how it got to be in the last weeks he had tried to hush away his feelings, to burn them down, to make them disappear and leave him alone. But no, they were still there, clawing at him, eating his heart away even knowing that there had been nothing but physical love between the two of them.
Ueda closed his eyes and tried to lock away his thoughts regarding Jin. He hadn’t kept in touch with the man for more than three weeks and it stung him how little he had meant for Jin. But he knew from the beginning that he was nothing but a fling to Jin, yet he couldn’t suppress the feeling of hurt, the anger that it came with it… nor the love. Yes, he had fallen in love with Jin, though he hadn’t planned, though he had told himself that it won’t work, that Jin loved Kazuya and that he was not a love interest for him… but can you really say no to your heart once it had settled on someone? Ueda knew from experience that such thing wasn’t easy and that’s why he had kept his distance from Jin after that meeting at the club.
But Ueda hoped. He had hoped for Jin to call him, to at least text him something as random as it could get, but in the end, there was no room for Ueda in Jin’s Kazuya clouded mind. And when things degenerated, Ueda not being able to hide his moodiness or his unfriendliness when it came to Kazuya’s name - the younger hadn’t been at college for a while now - he decided it was time to do something about this and the best thing was to go and face Jin. At least, he’ll be rejected straight down, he’ll be heart broken, but he’ll be at ease knowing that his feelings were conveyed and… he had tried until the very last minute to have Jin back in his life.
He took a deep breath and finally pushed the doorbell from Jin’s apartment, waiting anxiously for the door to be opened. And when it did, Ueda looked at Jin even more nervously, watching him from head to toes, from his messy hair and naked chest to his short pants and hairy legs, indicating that the younger had been asleep even if it was two o’clock in the noon.
“Ueda?” Jin called his name with a slightly surprised voice. What was he doing here? Jin asked himself but found no answer to his question. He didn’t remember to have talked with Ueda lately and they surely hadn’t been seeing each other since he got back with Kazuya. It was weird to look now at him and know that he didn’t have anything to do with him anymore. And slightly disturbing, because as good as Ueda was in bed, Jin didn’t want to have anything to do with him as long as Kazuya was beside him. “What are you doing here?” he finally asked what was bothering him, still looking at the blond man with a scrutinizing gaze, wanting to guess his answer. But Jin smiled when their eyes met, not being able to help it and unable to stop the memories from rushing to his head.
After all, Ueda had been kind of special too.
The other gulped, realizing that he had been stupid to think that coming to Jin would solve anything. But once he had decided on something, he would go through it until the end, so with burning eyes, he pushed the door open even more and grabbed Jin by the neck, clutching his hand in the other’s hair. “I came for this.” He whispered before crushing their mouths together, pushing the younger on the wall from their left, ravishing him completely. Ueda slid his tongue forcefully into Jin’s mouth, maddened about its taste, wanting more and more. “I love you.” He muttered in their kiss, his hands all over Jin’s body, fervently looking for its feel, for its touch.
To say that Jin was shocked, it would be an understatement. His eyes opened wide and his breath stopped for a moment, not understanding what was happening. He hissed when his back hit the wall and accidentally bit Ueda’s lower lip, letting him take even more advantage of his mouth, exploring it to his heart content and almost making Jin close his eyes in delight. But when he realized what he was about to do, Jin snapped from the spell that Ueda had cast over him and pushed him harshly into the other wall. “What the fuck?” he snarled, looking mad while using his sleeve to wipe his mouth. “What’s gotten into you?” Jin continued, raising his tone and trying hard to not snap.
Ueda smiled and looked at Jin with sad eyes. “You got into me.” He replied, clutching his hand on the spot his heart was beating. “I’m in love with you, Jin.” He straightened himself and made a small step towards the younger one. “I tried to forget you, to not think of you…” Ueda ruffled his hair, looking desperate and hurting. “But the more I tried, the more I wanted you.” He got closer to Jin, he was now standing in front of him, his fingers itching to touch him, his whole body yearning to feel Jin’s. “The more I fell in love with you.” Ueda closed the distance and traced a line with his finger on Jin’s face, entrapping the younger, making him fall once again under his spell. “I really love you, Jin.” And like a charm, with the last word - the younger’s name - he finished his magic and kissed once more Jin’s lips. This time it was a gentler kiss, one that asked for permission, one that yearned, pleaded and showed the love which had conquered Ueda’s heart. His love for Jin.
Jin’s heart stopped for a second, it clenched at Ueda’s words and made him hurt as much as it made him happy. It was funny and Jin would have probably laughed if he could have managed to find his voice or his brain for that matter. He stiffened under Ueda’s touch, wanting to push him away but not feeling able to do so. He couldn’t control his body and he couldn’t order it to stop Ueda. And why? He wasn’t the only one who had declared their undying love for Jin. No, not even close. Jin had seen a lot of people crawling to his legs for his love but he had always kicked them back, not caring at all about them.
Then why was it different with Ueda? Maybe because Jin truly believed him for once. Maybe because he felt sorry for him or maybe because even now, when their lips were touching and slowly moving against each other, Jin couldn’t stop the beating of his heart. Ueda’s words had affected him bad and the time they had spent together, that month in which Jin had succeeded to forget a little about Kazuya, was once again deeply engraved in his mind. He wasn’t conscious of what he was doing anymore, he just answered to Ueda’s kiss, half-closing his eyes and sighing into the kiss, thinking that it was the first time he felt this way.
Not even with Kazuya. And how could he? He had never heard these words from the younger, no matter how much Jin had said them.
And that was how Kazuya found them in the following moment as he slowly pushed Jin’s front door. He had come to him wanting to spend some time together like they used to. And it had been for the first time he hadn’t called to tell Jin he was coming over, it had been the first time he had come for the sole purpose of seeing Jin and him only. And what was he finding instead?
A hot kiss between Jin and his friend, Ueda.
Jealousy spurred in him like a whirlpool and the younger made no noise as he watched the sweet and passionate exchange of saliva and tongues between the two of them. When he decided that he had had enough of such sight, he began to applaud like he had been watching the greatest movie of his life. The single difference being his expression which was of utmost disgust and disdain.
Ueda looked surprised behind him, the shock on his face being more than explanatory. Of course he hadn’t been expecting him, Kazuya mused as he smiled at both of them. At least, his friend had the decency to part from Jin’s arms - which had been around Ueda’s waist! - and looked like a deer caught in the spotlights. Which was totally different from Jin’s reaction. The older didn’t seem to notice or to understand at first the simple fact that Kazuya was there and that he had seen them. He blinked once, twice and then a couple more times and the realization finally came to him.
“This is not what it seems to be!” Jin yelled the first thing that came into his mind, pushing himself even further from Ueda to demonstrate that he was innocent. Just… a simple victim?
Kazuya quirked an eyebrow and merely chuckled. Oh yeah, of course it wasn’t as it seemed, they were just trying the size of their lips, to see which one had them bigger. But Kazuya didn’t say any of this and instead he got closer to them, his cold stare measuring both of them. Ueda sensed the danger before Jin, but as he wanted to move further away from Kazuya, the younger one grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer to him, locking their lips together, forcing his tongue into Ueda’s mouth. There was so much hatred in that kiss that Ueda couldn’t fight it back, almost like it had paralyzed him. Then everything ended as it started, Kazuya let go of him and swirled at Jin with a victorious but mad smile.
“Now… what does this seem?” he asked on a low and full of anger voice before he turned his back on the two of them, exiting the door he had barely entered.
Jin gaped, looking at the empty space where Kazuya had been standing just a few seconds before, not believing his eyes. Did Kazuya just kiss another man in front of him and did it on purpose? Honestly, he would have wanted to laugh if the anger wasn’t that big and almost devastating. He would have wanted to cry if the thought that Kazuya kissed someone else didn’t hunt his mind - it didn’t matter that he had done the same. In the end, the only thing he did was to scream of frustration. It took him a couple of minutes to finally react - it seemed to have become a habit lately - and he shouted the younger’s name, preparing to dash after him and completely ignoring Ueda.
“You fucking bastard, come here!” Jin yelled even if he knew that the younger won’t hear him anymore.
But Ueda stopped him before going after Kazuya shouting like a mad man. “Jin!” he called the man who wasn’t that responsive to his calls. “Jin, stop!” he tightened his grip, wanting his attention all focused on him. “Look at me!” he shouted this time, finally having a reaction from the other who stared at Ueda as if he had just found out that he was there too. “You can’t go like this after him…” Ueda said, surprised at the sudden rage he found in Jin’s eyes. Was Kazuya alone the cause of such consuming feelings? He was scared of knowing the answer. “I’m sorry for what happened, I should have been careful… but you still can’t go like this after him!” He insisted, knowing that if those two met right now it might be a blood bath. Of course he had been shocked by his friend's behavior - not to mention the kiss! - though it was Jin’s reaction that shocked him the most. Ueda could arouse such feelings in Jin only when they were in bed and even now he wasn’t that sure it was completely because of him or because of Jin’s mind who was thinking of only one person all the time - Kazuya.
“Tatsuya, let me go or I swear that I won’t control myself anymore.” Jin hissed on a dangerous tone, looking straight at Ueda, his eyes empty and cold. His nearly inexistent patience was already running out and Jin didn’t plan to stay there and play mind games with Ueda. “What the fuck do you want?” he barked, getting more and more annoyed, but still not making one move to release his arm from the other’s tight grip.
Ueda’s heart ached at Jin’s poisonous words, but he tried not to back down, no matter how much his instincts told him to do so. “You.” He answered at Jin’s not so polite question. “But I know I’m not enough.” He then added on an undertone, his mouth’s corners curving a bit, though it looked sadder and lonelier than ever that try of a smile. “And I’m not keeping you for me right now, it’s for both of you. I don’t know anything about the relationship between you and Kame, but if you go to him in the state you are now, with such feelings burning in your eyes…” Ueda continued quickly, somewhat aware that he had no influence over Jin, but the hope was still there. “…things might go wrong. You’ll simply hurt each other.”
Jin’s eyes flickered for a moment, all the past memories of when he had lost control flashing into his eyes. He looked at Ueda for a few seconds, with an expression that seemed to say that Jin was ready to launch himself at the older and kill him, but then he calmed down and his eyes got a little quieter as he sighed and raised his arm to free himself from Ueda’s grip with a defeated gaze. He turned his back on him and stepped further into the apartment, again not looking at Ueda and seeming to ignore him, but after he took a few steps, he said with a low voice just a single word: “Come.”
Ueda gulped and followed Jin in the kitchen, feeling a little happy that he had managed to calm him down. Jin could be scary when he wanted, but he accepted this fact easily because everyone would turn into a scary person for the one they loved. He was sure he’d look the same if Jin… no, if the one he loved would kiss someone else. Now it wasn’t the time to imagine Jin kissing Kazuya or to think that Jin was the one he loved. He had to keep his feelings away until everything calmed down, until Jin was ready to talk with Kazuya like two adults. So he looked unsure at the man that began to make some tea and wondered if it was alright to speak.
“Jin?” he asked, deciding that he had nothing to fear of. Jin would never hurt him, even if a moment ago he looked ready to do so.
“What?” Jin snapped, not bothering to look at Ueda and just concentrating on his task.
Okay, Jin was not in the mood to talk, Ueda thought a bit displeased with the way Jin had replied. But it was normal, he continued, it was very normal to feel irked and want to bite everyone’s head off, especially the person’s who had just been kissed by the one you loved. Therefore, Ueda didn’t blame Jin, no, he tried to understand him even though he possessed little patience himself.
“What is the relationship between you and Kame?” Ueda asked after a few moments thinking that they had to talk even if the other wasn’t up to it.
Jin stopped for a few moments and turned to look at Ueda, looking like it was in slow-motion. He cocked an eyebrow, trying to hide his trembling hands and the anger that was still burning up inside of him. He could do it. He needed to control himself and he will do it. But it didn’t seem that easily as Jin wanted to be.
“And why should I tell you?” he asked on a mocking tone. “You asked me to lie to Kazuya about our own relationship, so now why should I tell you the truth about my connection with him?” he continued, looking now at Ueda with a really curious expression.
He had been a fool to fall into his trap.
“If you don’t want to tell, then don’t.” Ueda replied, now really hurt by Jin’s words. “Just… just don’t talk to me like you hate me.” He then added, letting his head fall into his chest and closing his eyes. He usually wasn’t weak, it was love which made him feel weak and act accordingly.
Jin sighed and rolled his eyes, not knowing which feelings should he let dominate. He really cared about Ueda because he had been the one to help and support him when Kazuya didn’t want to be with Jin, the one who had kept his mind off of hurtful things and with whom he had had great sex, amazing sex! But on the other hand, Jin wanted to rip his head off because he was also the reason that Kazuya was mad at him. He wanted to crush him and made him beg for forgiveness just because he had been kissed by the younger. Kazuya was only his! He was the only one allowed to touch his lips and he had sworn to kill anyone else that dared to do it!
He looked at Ueda and felt a tinge of pain clutching at his heart. Ueda was also special for him. He still didn’t know why, but the older had managed to crawl into his heart and gain a place of his own. But it wasn’t big and it didn’t even compare with Kazuya’s.
Jin slowly approached Ueda and stopped in front of him, putting his index finger under Ueda’s chin to raise it and make the older one look into his eyes. “I don’t hate you.” He whispered, a hint of gentleness in his eyes as they bore into the other’s. “I am grateful to you.” He added, biting his lower lip and cursing himself for not knowing for to express his feelings better.
If earlier Ueda’s heart was throbbing with pain, now it clenched with tainted happiness. He stopped his hands from hugging Jin and simply looked at him, thinking that they will probably won’t see each other after this. “Don’t…” his voice was hoarse, but determined. “Don’t be nice to me. I’ll fall for you even more.” He continued, the bright brown of his eyes now sparkling with pain and love.
Jin smiled, brightly and serene as if it was the sunshine. He leaned over Ueda and kissed him on the forehead, detaching himself from the older after. “Don’t.” he said with a voice calm and composed, full of gentleness and care. “Don’t fall for me, you don’t deserve something like this.” He added, taking one more step back, but still looking into Ueda’s eyes.
Ah, he was going away, Ueda thought as he watched Jin move from him. The kiss he gave him now burnt more intensely than the ones he had received in the past. So he gathered the strength to smile, he closed his eyes and looked only at Jin, feeling that great loves were the ones that weren’t fulfilled, the unrequited ones. Yeah, it was more romantic this way.
“Now you’re ready to go and talk with him.” Ueda said, feeling the thorns in his heart sinking deeper. “I wish I could say…” he began and gulped once, thinking that he had said so many times that it will be hard not to be able to do so from on. “…sorry that I loved you.” He completed, smiling fully at Jin, his big and goofy smile that Jin had once mentioned that he loved it. “Cause I’m not.” Ueda added and turned to leave. It was better to leave now, to let everything behind while he still could do so.
“Tatsuya!” Jin called after him and when he saw him stopping, Jin took a deep breath. It was weird because if he would go back to the day all of this started, then he’ll remember that Ueda had been the one to say that he wasn’t asking for a relationship, that Jin had said he wasn’t sure, that he shouldn’t start anything. Ueda had laughed at his words and now he had fallen in love.
“I don’t regret meeting you.” Jin confessed, his voice seeming a little broken, but at this point, he didn’t know what was the reason for it. “I’m glad because I know you, because you’ve been mine.” He continued, gulping once and wanting to say his feelings, at least for the last time. “You’re special and you should know it.” He smiled. “So… don’t disappear completely.” He pleaded, hoping that the day when Ueda will be able to search for him without any hurtful feelings will come soon.
“I won’t.” Ueda answered and though Jin couldn’t see him, he was fighting back the tears. No, he wasn’t a weak man, he won’t cry over a broken heart. He wasn’t that weak. “Just text me when you need me.” He said and exited the apartment quickly, feeling that if he stayed another minute, he’d crash down, he’d go begging to Jin to love him and not Kazuya. But he won’t do such a thing, because he wasn’t that much of a fool when it came to love. He had been enough.
Jin looked after him with sad eyes, wondering why did he have to let go to the only person who had seemed to want to love him no matter what and who Jin cared for very much. And then he remembered Kazuya and his hurt eyes when he had seen Jin kissing Ueda. It took him two seconds to dash out of his apartment, get in his car and go to Kazuya’s home, hoping that he will be able to find the younger there. He was growing desperate as the road seemed endless and Kazuya wasn’t answering on his phone either. If he wasn’t home… no, Jin didn’t want to think of that. He wouldn’t be able to look for him the whole town and not break down. To not snap. To not hurt anyone that came his way.
PART II
Authors: aroruae & fighter_of_moon
Pairing: Akame, slight Kokame & Jinda
Genre: Smut, AU, drama, tragedy
Warnings: use of drugs, whoring, slaving, insanity, bad language, incest and a lot more to come xD You've been warned, so don't read if you don't want to see them in a lot of pain *evil laugh*
Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, but we're in the process of making it true!! The proof is Jin's twitter~ And now his facebook and OMG, youtube account!!
Summary: Kazuya’s addiction becomes Jin’s obsession. They came to need each other to the extend of wanting to kill.
A/N: Exams have started so the next chapters of AO and SW will be a little delayed...
First Scent ~ Strawberry
Second Scent ~ Poison
Third Scent ~ Musk
Fourth Scent ~ Ecstasy
Fifth Scent ~ Spring
Sixth Scent ~ Fear
Seventh Scent ~ Sky
Eighth Scent ~ Winter
Ninth Scent ~ Loneliness
Tenth scent ~ Run
Eleventh Scent ~ You
Twelfth Scent ~ Statice
Thirteenth Scent ~ Body
Fourteenth Scent ~ Memory
Chapter fifteen
Fifteenth scent ~ Toxic
Kazuya opened his eyes and stared at the white and familiar ceiling. He wanted to snuggle some more under the warmth of his blankets only to find that in fact it was someone’s warmth. He turned his head to his right and saw Jin sleeping next to him with his arms around his body. Kazuya smiled at the sight and studied every feature of the sleeping man. If Jin had not been last night beside him… then Kazuya would have crashed down and once more resorted to amphetamine. Somehow, he knew everything that happened last night when both Jin and his father had entered his room, worried because of his screams. He had heard them talk about amphetamine and had felt Jin getting angry at his father because he didn’t know about Kazuya not taking pills anymore.
Through bits of his nightmare, the younger had listened to them, too afraid to speak or to wake up from his state. And Jin had never left him alone through the night, keeping him warm and safe, protecting him like he said he would. For this, Kazuya was more than grateful and he felt his soul filled with warmth, happiness and… love. Maybe it really was love, because Kazuya had never felt this unexpected and unknown feeling ever before, not even for Koki who had been there for him too. And he couldn’t find another name for this emotion except love. Of course, he might lie to himself, he might deceive himself once more… but he was willing to take this risk again, he was willing to depend once more on a single person even if that meant that everything will crumble down when that person would want to destroy him. Just like his mother did.
Kazuya closed his eyes, rinsing away the image of his mother, wanting to not think of her, but of Jin, the person who had held him through the night. He lifted his hand and caressed lightly the other’s face, smiling at the slightly pouting cheeks. Then he saw him frowning and Kazuya put his index finger between his brows, to make the crease that formed between them disappear. It was funny playing with Jin like this, funny and calming in the same time. Kazuya decided to pull slightly at Jin’s ear lob, repressing a chuckle as the older grunted displeased. Then he lifted his upper body, carefully not to wake Jin and blew slowly into his ear. Again the other grunted and almost hit Kazuya as he wanted to chase away whatever was disturbing him. The younger reverted to his position and began to play with his fingers on Jin’s face.
“Too cute.” Kazuya mouthed with a pout, his voice barely a whisper.
“I should be saying that.” Jin replied with a low and sleepy voice, making weird expressions to keep Kazuya’s fingers away which were a little ticklish in that moment. It took him a few seconds to open his eyes and when he did and met the younger’s brown eyes, Jin couldn’t stop a smile from appearing on his lips, even if it was small and still a little beaten by sleep. “Morning.” He said with a lovely expression and moved a little to peck Kazuya’s lips, letting his hand to continue caress the boy’s cheek. “How are you feeling?” he added, now worry obvious in his voice.
“I’m fine, thanks.” Kazuya replied, smiling at Jin. “And yeah… morning.” And he leaned forward to catch Jin’s lips into the sweetest kiss Kazuya had ever offered. He had longed for Jin’s kiss even more after last night and having him so close, feeling him beside him, the younger couldn’t help but to take what he wanted from the first place. As their lips touched, as their tongues slowly brushed against each other, Kazuya felt his heart beat faster and his body trembling slightly in Jin’s arms. The words were there, only not uttered - I want you.
Jin answered to the kiss a little surprised at first, but then, as the realization grew on him, he started to answer more confidently and with more power and eagerness for the boy in his arms. He slowly moved, crawling on the bed and straddling Kazuya, keeping his hands pinned to the bed but with a gentle grip, letting the younger free himself if he wanted to. Their legs entangled under the sheets and their breaths became one as they moved against each other, earning for more touching and for more of them, wanting to feel each other and both feeling the raw desire that had grown so much in the past week.
“First thing in the morning…” Kazuya muttered against Jin’s lips and pulled the other closer to him, their groins now touching as he lifted his body brushing slowly against Jin’s one. “…sex with you.” He continued as he bit onto the lower lip of Jin, as his hands clutched around his locks. “The best breakfast.” He added, moaning as Jin grinded his body into Kazuya’s, earning for more friction and to touch more of the boy’s skin.
The older smirked and bit on Kazuya’s tongue, soothing it after with his own tongue and lips, entangling into a battle with Kazuya and trying to dominate the younger, but enjoying the fact that he couldn’t and letting himself fall pray to his lover’s attacks.
“I’d have you for breakfast,” Jin murmured against Kazuya’s lips, teasing them with a short lick and then kissing them fully, tasting the sweet cavern and growling unsatisfied because he couldn’t get enough of it, “for lunch,” he continued with the same breathy and aroused voice, letting his lips travel on Kazuya’s neck, down on his body and meeting one of his nipples which Jin took the pleasure to suck on it, ripping apart the shirt that tried to hide it, “and for dinner.” He concluded, now his hands roaming over the younger’s body, playing with his pants and grabbing the boy’s arousal through the thin material, brushing his fingers against it and then detaching them from it only to let his body grind again on his boyfriend’s body, enjoying the moans of need that Kazuya breathed through his half-parted lips.
“You greedy twerp.” Kazuya whispered through rasp pants and encircled Jin’s waist, moving up and down, their hardened members rubbing against each other. He was so happy that they were in their pajamas, he could feel so much of Jin and he could touch so easily. His hands slipped under Jin’s shirt, scratching and touching the burning skin, digging his nails as Jin was biting and sucking him, making his body shake under his. He let his hands roam on Jin’s back before heading slowly to his ass, sliding under the thin pants and placing feathery touches over his ass cheeks before grabbing them firmly and pushing his lower part into his, passion exploding in his body, lust taking over his already clouded mind. “Have me already, I’m going crazy.” Kazuya muttered, looking at Jin as his face wore an expression of utmost desire and yearning.
The logical question would have been if this was alright, considering the fact that Kazuya’s father was in the same house and, who knows, maybe at a close distance from them. But Jin had never been the type to worry about things like that, preferring just to take rather than to give, so he smirked again and crushed his mouth against Kazuya’s as his hands finally stopped their teasing and undressed the boy of his clothes. He only needed a moment to throw both of their pajamas on the floor and then his mouth was pressed against Kazuya’s again, letting his tongue go deep into the younger’ mouth and sucking on the boy’s tongue with passion and growing arousal. His right hand touched Kazuya’s cock and traced a thin line on its length, only his nails touching it and making Kazuya release moans of exasperation and grunts of neediness. His other hand traveled on the boy’s body, slowly engraving every part of Kazuya’s body into Jin’s mind, letting his fingertips know Kazuya’s skin and letting Kazuya’s body to only know the warmth of his hands. He slowly descended and let it slip behind Kazuya’s back, lifting his ass to have more room to move.
Their lips found each other again and Jin growled into the kiss, making a swift move so that Kazuya would be above him. He smirked, now feeling content with their position and his freedom of movement and pocked his fingers at Kazuya’s ass, penetrating it with one. The younger bit Jin’s lower lip at the feeling of intrusion and closed his eyes, letting his head fall on Jin’s shoulder.
“Kazuya…” he heard his name being called and a sudden rush of adrenaline possessed his body as Jin glued their bodies and started to move his hips, their erections touching and moving together as he added his second finger and made scissoring movements to stretch Kazuya.
And, God, it felt so good. But it wasn’t enough so Kazuya mouthed to Jin - “More.” If he had to explain what ‘more’ meant, he wouldn’t know from where to begin. Kazuya felt an overwhelming desire for Jin, the lack of sex making him go crazy, and he wondered for a brief moment why he only felt it now, when he was in Jin’s arms and the older was almost like begging to let him fuck Kazuya. He didn’t think at it too much, deciding that it was more important to focus on Jin and his hands and his fingers which felt like something that wanted to knock him down from pleasure. He needed more so he pushed his ass on Jin’s fingers, burying them even more into his hole and biting his lips to refrain from screaming as the pain pierced through him.
Jin released a moan and his free hand grabbed his own cock, starting to pump it as he felt like exploding only from Kazuya’s aroused and alluring face. But the boy stopped him and when Jin looked at Kazuya, he saw him smirking, a shiver passing through Jin’s body as the image of a cruel and sadistic Kazuya went to his brain and climbed down to his cock.
“Not so fast…” Kazuya whispered at Jin’s ear and laughed as he heard a whimper leaving Jin’s lips. He looked at him and his smirk widened even more as he met Jin’s playful and uncertain eyes, the desire and lust clearly written in them. He was curious about his lover’s intentions, seeing as it had been so long since the younger had taken the initiative in bed and leaded their sexual act. Jin couldn’t say that he was complaining about it, because having an obedient Kazuya at his mercy and hearing him screaming for more was more than Jin would have wanted. But an aggressive Kazuya… was fearful. And sinful.
Kazuya leaned down and kissed Jin’s right eye and then bit his arcade, earning a yelp from the older one and then licking it slowly, his eyes concentrated on Jin’s as they watched every movement of Kazuya’s. He licked Jin’s cheek and went even lower, letting his tongue leave a wet trace behind it while his hands buried their nails into Jin’s hot flesh, making the older squirm under his painful and wanting touch.
“You want me, Jin?” Kazuya asked with a low voice, so lustful that it made Jin become even harder if that was possible. He whined silently and Kazuya laughed softly. “Come on, baby…” the younger continued as his tongue circled around one of Jin’s nipples and his ass started to move again against Jin’s fingers, their erections touching and making both of them go mad. “Tell me…” he whispered in the silence of the room where only Jin’s breathy moans and painful whimpers could be heard, accompanied by Kazuya’s groans and heavy breathing.
“I want you, Kazuya…” Jin deemed sure to answer as soon as he found back his voice which now sounded raspy, empty of all feelings but the ones that Kazuya induced to him. “I fucking want you…” he added with a more powerful tone, trying to decide if he should just take Kazuya or if he should let himself endure the torture of the younger.
“Good goy…” Kazuya laughed again but stopped Jin for the second time when his hand darted towards his crotch to help his release. “My game this time.” He explained, only with a light smirk as he grabbed both of Jin’s hands and pinned them to the bed. Kazuya took a deep breath as he could finally breathe freely, not having anything inside him to disturb his thoughts or movements, while Jin pouted, clearly unhappy that things were going so slow, but still submitting to Kazuya’s will. They looked in each other’s eyes for a moment which seemed like an eternity and then Kazuya finally moved again, bringing one of Jin’s hands to his mouth - the one that had been buried deep inside him - and started to suck on the older one’s fingers, his gaze never leaving Jin’s darkened eyes. He licked the index finger and Jin flinched with expectation, a weird sparkle settling in his eyes. Kazuya bit the middle finger too and Jin writhed under the boy’s body, moaning shamelessly when Kazuya started to suck on it, a chuckle dancing on his lips.
“Kazuya…” Jin said the younger’s name, the plea obvious in his tone and his eyes begging the boy to touch him already and stop his taunting.
“I would love to hear you screaming, Jin…” Kazuya replied, not baffled by his lover’s short endurance, as he moved a little lower to bite on Jin’s wrist, his other hand closing itself on the older one’s mouth to stop him from screaming as he had wanted. “Too bad that I can’t because my father would hear us.” He continued, amused by this whole situation that he had never thought he would live one day. Jin looked at him and his expression changed for a moment, like only the idea of having someone hear them - even more if it was Kazuya’s father - made him more excited, more aroused. He bucked his hips against Kazuya and the younger settled his hands on the bed to keep himself from falling, as his legs didn’t seem to resist too much after Jin’s earlier treatment.
It was Jin’s turn to smirk. “What, you can’t resist me after all?” he teased with a raspy voice, looking at Kazuya with a confident expression as the younger glared at him.
“I told you that you lost your charm, babe. You can’t fool me with your sex moves.” Kazuya replied with the same voice, now seeming a little bit more in control as he looked at Jin and resumed his earlier actions, biting on Jin’s arm, from his wrist to his elbow and then his shoulder. He didn’t stopped then and continued to bury his teeth into Jin’s flesh, spreading marks all over his body, sometimes biting hard and then licking it gently to reduce the pain, other times biting softly, only breathing over his skin and sending shivers all over his body.
He stopped above Jin’s stomach and lifted his gaze to look at Jin and see him gulping and biting his lips, nervous but still curious and needy for more. He shoved his tongue into Jin’s navel and felt him squirm under his administrations, feeling a sense of accomplishment as Jin spread his legs, inviting Kazuya to go on. Only that the younger had other plans and just gave a short lick to Jin’s crotch, lifting himself up again to see the older one’s face better and to straddle him.
“Tell me how much you want me.” The younger whispered and Jin closed his eyes for a moment to not moan loudly at the sinful image of Kazuya that presented itself in front of Jin. He couldn’t suppress his growl in the next second though because Kazuya poked his crotch and moved his ass above Jin’s cock, teasing his hole and enjoying the fact that it will be soon buried inside of him.
“I want you more than anything.” Jin replied, talking slowly as he felt like losing his breath completely. “I want to feel your ass tightening around my cock.” He continued and Kazuya let his head fall down again on Jin’s shoulder, not having too much strength. Jin seemed to be approving this as he raised his leg to circle the younger’s waist and flipped them over to let him be above Kazuya once again. “I want to be buried deep inside of you and to hear you screaming my name, not knowing anything else than this.” Jin added as he entered Kazuya with a brief move.
Kazuya screamed because of the pain that came together with the pleasure of being one with Jin, but the older muffled his screams with a kiss. There were tears in Kazuya’s eyes but what was more was the raw need and pure lust that changed the color of them in one of a bright and liquid yellow gold. His hands encircled Jin’s neck, deepening their kiss, his moans dissipating in the meeting of their tongues, in the clash of their teeth and in the bruising of their lips. Jin pushed himself even more into Kazuya, holding the younger tightly as his own body shivered at the warmth and tightness he felt around his hardened member. Oh, how long has it been since he hasn’t felt Kazuya like this? How long has it been since he buried himself into his body, feeling him writhing and trashing under him, moans and screams following one after another as he swallowed them all? Definitely not five days because such a short time could have not drawn from him such a deep need and arousal just from kissing Kazuya, just like it had happened last night. But now he was finally united with him, he was deep inside the boy and nothing matter but him and Kazuya.
Jin started to move slowly at first, giving time to Kazuya to adjust but as he wanted to do so, the boy looked at him, face all flushed, eyes burning with desire and his mouth parted then it formed the words that had him lose control. Those curved and red lips that were only for him to devour, swallowing whatever words the younger wanted to say more, driving him past madness. So he pushed deeper into Kazuya and the body under him arched beautifully as Kazuya’s hands dug painfully into his skin, while his tongue sucked him into his mouth, whimpering of pleasure against it. Jin grabbed Kazuya’s legs and spread them more and breaking their wild kiss, he rose and put Kazuya’s legs on his shoulder as his hands moved now to hold the younger’s waist. He began to move more, at first slow, then faster, enjoying the sight of Kazuya trashing under him, biting his lips to not scream of pleasure or pain, it didn’t matter which was. The sight was too much of enchanting. And he kept prodding into Kazuya, wanting to reach that sweet spot that will have the younger soar above the clouds, the only thing he’ll know being the person who had driven him there - Jin. Kazuya writhed under him, grabbed the pillows around him and turned his face away as he - guilty of wanting more - began to thrust his hips, helping Jin enter him more, to offer him more pleasure.
Jin’s hand curled around his cock, pumping it as he began to fasten up the pace of his thrusts. The younger stretched his hands towards Jin, wanting to touch, wanting to tease just as the older was doing. But it fell limp against the bed as the hand around his cock tightened and its pace increased. He would lose, Kazuya knew, just as the climax came soaring at him and not from just one point… but from three as Jin chose to place a short and maddening kiss on the back of his knee exact in that moment. The second he came, Jin reached the sweet spot inside of him and the orgasm hit him double. Jin followed him in a matter of seconds and both of them fell limp on the bed, breathing heavily and trying to control the rapid movement of their hearts. Their legs remained tangled and their hands found each other, entwining into a loving grip, Jin staying on top of Kazuya even after he pulled out of the younger one, choosing to listen more to Kazuya’s heart beating and to feel more of the way his chest was moving up and down, knowing that it was because of him.
They needed some time to cool off but soon enough, Jin started spreading short kisses on Kazuya’s neck and chest in a loving way, entwining his left hand with the boy’s and bringing the other one to his waist in a possessive manner. “I missed you.” The older one confessed and sighed happily, thinking that he didn’t need anything more if he could just stay like that with his lover for eternity - or at least for the rest of their life.
“I know.” Kazuya replied, squeezing Jin’s hand a little. He was feeling a little drowsy, the sex had been intense and the feelings had consumed him inside out. “Thanks…” The younger one muttered and he brought his other hand to Jin’s neck, playing with hair ends of his lover’s hair. “…for the other night.” Kazuya completed, feeling that maybe he shouldn’t talk about this, but he knew that they had to in the end.
“Are you okay now?” Jin asked immediately, betraying the fact that he had wanted to ask this since he had woken up, but he had been a little… distracted. He pushed himself away from Kazuya a little to be able to look into his eyes, but his hands remained at their place and the distance between their bodies didn’t increase. “I mean…” he added and bit his lower lips, “if you want to talk about it, I’m here. And I’m willing to listen and to help you. I’d do anything for you.” He said all of this from one breath, feeling that he won’t be able to do it if he stopped even for a second.
Kazuya looked back at Jin with an insecure expression on his face. “I know you’d do anything for me.” He smiled, ignoring the small voice in his head that said Jin was even capable of crime for his being. “As for last night… I wouldn’t know what to say to you, since you saw what sort of nightmare I had.” Kazuya then added with a small voice, biting on his lower lip.
Jin smiled gently and cupped Kazuya’s cheek into his hand, leaning closer to place a reassuring kiss on his forehead then on his nose. “I’m not going to ask you to tell me about your mother or what she had done to you,” he confessed, thinking that he already knew enough and that he was going to perform another investigation no matter what the younger one would say, “but I do want you to tell me if you keep having these nightmares.” He scolded his lover, not liking that much the fact that even his father - a murderer - knew about this and he, who was Kazuya’s lover, didn’t . “I can’t stop them from coming, but I can be there for you.” He added, his eyes boring into the younger one’s as he wanted the boy to see his honesty and sincerity.
Kazuya nodded his head with an insecure smile as he scurried closer to Jin. “Then be there for me, chase my demons away.” He whispered, holding Jin lightly as he nuzzled his face into his lover’s chest. “I’m sorry.” He apologized, not really sure of why he was doing this - but he felt that he had to.
Jin didn’t answer, he just let his body and the warmth of his heart say what his words couldn’t possibly do in a million years.
“I’ll be there for you.”
*
It was suffocating and unbearable. That’s how it got to be in the last weeks he had tried to hush away his feelings, to burn them down, to make them disappear and leave him alone. But no, they were still there, clawing at him, eating his heart away even knowing that there had been nothing but physical love between the two of them.
Ueda closed his eyes and tried to lock away his thoughts regarding Jin. He hadn’t kept in touch with the man for more than three weeks and it stung him how little he had meant for Jin. But he knew from the beginning that he was nothing but a fling to Jin, yet he couldn’t suppress the feeling of hurt, the anger that it came with it… nor the love. Yes, he had fallen in love with Jin, though he hadn’t planned, though he had told himself that it won’t work, that Jin loved Kazuya and that he was not a love interest for him… but can you really say no to your heart once it had settled on someone? Ueda knew from experience that such thing wasn’t easy and that’s why he had kept his distance from Jin after that meeting at the club.
But Ueda hoped. He had hoped for Jin to call him, to at least text him something as random as it could get, but in the end, there was no room for Ueda in Jin’s Kazuya clouded mind. And when things degenerated, Ueda not being able to hide his moodiness or his unfriendliness when it came to Kazuya’s name - the younger hadn’t been at college for a while now - he decided it was time to do something about this and the best thing was to go and face Jin. At least, he’ll be rejected straight down, he’ll be heart broken, but he’ll be at ease knowing that his feelings were conveyed and… he had tried until the very last minute to have Jin back in his life.
He took a deep breath and finally pushed the doorbell from Jin’s apartment, waiting anxiously for the door to be opened. And when it did, Ueda looked at Jin even more nervously, watching him from head to toes, from his messy hair and naked chest to his short pants and hairy legs, indicating that the younger had been asleep even if it was two o’clock in the noon.
“Ueda?” Jin called his name with a slightly surprised voice. What was he doing here? Jin asked himself but found no answer to his question. He didn’t remember to have talked with Ueda lately and they surely hadn’t been seeing each other since he got back with Kazuya. It was weird to look now at him and know that he didn’t have anything to do with him anymore. And slightly disturbing, because as good as Ueda was in bed, Jin didn’t want to have anything to do with him as long as Kazuya was beside him. “What are you doing here?” he finally asked what was bothering him, still looking at the blond man with a scrutinizing gaze, wanting to guess his answer. But Jin smiled when their eyes met, not being able to help it and unable to stop the memories from rushing to his head.
After all, Ueda had been kind of special too.
The other gulped, realizing that he had been stupid to think that coming to Jin would solve anything. But once he had decided on something, he would go through it until the end, so with burning eyes, he pushed the door open even more and grabbed Jin by the neck, clutching his hand in the other’s hair. “I came for this.” He whispered before crushing their mouths together, pushing the younger on the wall from their left, ravishing him completely. Ueda slid his tongue forcefully into Jin’s mouth, maddened about its taste, wanting more and more. “I love you.” He muttered in their kiss, his hands all over Jin’s body, fervently looking for its feel, for its touch.
To say that Jin was shocked, it would be an understatement. His eyes opened wide and his breath stopped for a moment, not understanding what was happening. He hissed when his back hit the wall and accidentally bit Ueda’s lower lip, letting him take even more advantage of his mouth, exploring it to his heart content and almost making Jin close his eyes in delight. But when he realized what he was about to do, Jin snapped from the spell that Ueda had cast over him and pushed him harshly into the other wall. “What the fuck?” he snarled, looking mad while using his sleeve to wipe his mouth. “What’s gotten into you?” Jin continued, raising his tone and trying hard to not snap.
Ueda smiled and looked at Jin with sad eyes. “You got into me.” He replied, clutching his hand on the spot his heart was beating. “I’m in love with you, Jin.” He straightened himself and made a small step towards the younger one. “I tried to forget you, to not think of you…” Ueda ruffled his hair, looking desperate and hurting. “But the more I tried, the more I wanted you.” He got closer to Jin, he was now standing in front of him, his fingers itching to touch him, his whole body yearning to feel Jin’s. “The more I fell in love with you.” Ueda closed the distance and traced a line with his finger on Jin’s face, entrapping the younger, making him fall once again under his spell. “I really love you, Jin.” And like a charm, with the last word - the younger’s name - he finished his magic and kissed once more Jin’s lips. This time it was a gentler kiss, one that asked for permission, one that yearned, pleaded and showed the love which had conquered Ueda’s heart. His love for Jin.
Jin’s heart stopped for a second, it clenched at Ueda’s words and made him hurt as much as it made him happy. It was funny and Jin would have probably laughed if he could have managed to find his voice or his brain for that matter. He stiffened under Ueda’s touch, wanting to push him away but not feeling able to do so. He couldn’t control his body and he couldn’t order it to stop Ueda. And why? He wasn’t the only one who had declared their undying love for Jin. No, not even close. Jin had seen a lot of people crawling to his legs for his love but he had always kicked them back, not caring at all about them.
Then why was it different with Ueda? Maybe because Jin truly believed him for once. Maybe because he felt sorry for him or maybe because even now, when their lips were touching and slowly moving against each other, Jin couldn’t stop the beating of his heart. Ueda’s words had affected him bad and the time they had spent together, that month in which Jin had succeeded to forget a little about Kazuya, was once again deeply engraved in his mind. He wasn’t conscious of what he was doing anymore, he just answered to Ueda’s kiss, half-closing his eyes and sighing into the kiss, thinking that it was the first time he felt this way.
Not even with Kazuya. And how could he? He had never heard these words from the younger, no matter how much Jin had said them.
And that was how Kazuya found them in the following moment as he slowly pushed Jin’s front door. He had come to him wanting to spend some time together like they used to. And it had been for the first time he hadn’t called to tell Jin he was coming over, it had been the first time he had come for the sole purpose of seeing Jin and him only. And what was he finding instead?
A hot kiss between Jin and his friend, Ueda.
Jealousy spurred in him like a whirlpool and the younger made no noise as he watched the sweet and passionate exchange of saliva and tongues between the two of them. When he decided that he had had enough of such sight, he began to applaud like he had been watching the greatest movie of his life. The single difference being his expression which was of utmost disgust and disdain.
Ueda looked surprised behind him, the shock on his face being more than explanatory. Of course he hadn’t been expecting him, Kazuya mused as he smiled at both of them. At least, his friend had the decency to part from Jin’s arms - which had been around Ueda’s waist! - and looked like a deer caught in the spotlights. Which was totally different from Jin’s reaction. The older didn’t seem to notice or to understand at first the simple fact that Kazuya was there and that he had seen them. He blinked once, twice and then a couple more times and the realization finally came to him.
“This is not what it seems to be!” Jin yelled the first thing that came into his mind, pushing himself even further from Ueda to demonstrate that he was innocent. Just… a simple victim?
Kazuya quirked an eyebrow and merely chuckled. Oh yeah, of course it wasn’t as it seemed, they were just trying the size of their lips, to see which one had them bigger. But Kazuya didn’t say any of this and instead he got closer to them, his cold stare measuring both of them. Ueda sensed the danger before Jin, but as he wanted to move further away from Kazuya, the younger one grabbed him by the arm and pulled him closer to him, locking their lips together, forcing his tongue into Ueda’s mouth. There was so much hatred in that kiss that Ueda couldn’t fight it back, almost like it had paralyzed him. Then everything ended as it started, Kazuya let go of him and swirled at Jin with a victorious but mad smile.
“Now… what does this seem?” he asked on a low and full of anger voice before he turned his back on the two of them, exiting the door he had barely entered.
Jin gaped, looking at the empty space where Kazuya had been standing just a few seconds before, not believing his eyes. Did Kazuya just kiss another man in front of him and did it on purpose? Honestly, he would have wanted to laugh if the anger wasn’t that big and almost devastating. He would have wanted to cry if the thought that Kazuya kissed someone else didn’t hunt his mind - it didn’t matter that he had done the same. In the end, the only thing he did was to scream of frustration. It took him a couple of minutes to finally react - it seemed to have become a habit lately - and he shouted the younger’s name, preparing to dash after him and completely ignoring Ueda.
“You fucking bastard, come here!” Jin yelled even if he knew that the younger won’t hear him anymore.
But Ueda stopped him before going after Kazuya shouting like a mad man. “Jin!” he called the man who wasn’t that responsive to his calls. “Jin, stop!” he tightened his grip, wanting his attention all focused on him. “Look at me!” he shouted this time, finally having a reaction from the other who stared at Ueda as if he had just found out that he was there too. “You can’t go like this after him…” Ueda said, surprised at the sudden rage he found in Jin’s eyes. Was Kazuya alone the cause of such consuming feelings? He was scared of knowing the answer. “I’m sorry for what happened, I should have been careful… but you still can’t go like this after him!” He insisted, knowing that if those two met right now it might be a blood bath. Of course he had been shocked by his friend's behavior - not to mention the kiss! - though it was Jin’s reaction that shocked him the most. Ueda could arouse such feelings in Jin only when they were in bed and even now he wasn’t that sure it was completely because of him or because of Jin’s mind who was thinking of only one person all the time - Kazuya.
“Tatsuya, let me go or I swear that I won’t control myself anymore.” Jin hissed on a dangerous tone, looking straight at Ueda, his eyes empty and cold. His nearly inexistent patience was already running out and Jin didn’t plan to stay there and play mind games with Ueda. “What the fuck do you want?” he barked, getting more and more annoyed, but still not making one move to release his arm from the other’s tight grip.
Ueda’s heart ached at Jin’s poisonous words, but he tried not to back down, no matter how much his instincts told him to do so. “You.” He answered at Jin’s not so polite question. “But I know I’m not enough.” He then added on an undertone, his mouth’s corners curving a bit, though it looked sadder and lonelier than ever that try of a smile. “And I’m not keeping you for me right now, it’s for both of you. I don’t know anything about the relationship between you and Kame, but if you go to him in the state you are now, with such feelings burning in your eyes…” Ueda continued quickly, somewhat aware that he had no influence over Jin, but the hope was still there. “…things might go wrong. You’ll simply hurt each other.”
Jin’s eyes flickered for a moment, all the past memories of when he had lost control flashing into his eyes. He looked at Ueda for a few seconds, with an expression that seemed to say that Jin was ready to launch himself at the older and kill him, but then he calmed down and his eyes got a little quieter as he sighed and raised his arm to free himself from Ueda’s grip with a defeated gaze. He turned his back on him and stepped further into the apartment, again not looking at Ueda and seeming to ignore him, but after he took a few steps, he said with a low voice just a single word: “Come.”
Ueda gulped and followed Jin in the kitchen, feeling a little happy that he had managed to calm him down. Jin could be scary when he wanted, but he accepted this fact easily because everyone would turn into a scary person for the one they loved. He was sure he’d look the same if Jin… no, if the one he loved would kiss someone else. Now it wasn’t the time to imagine Jin kissing Kazuya or to think that Jin was the one he loved. He had to keep his feelings away until everything calmed down, until Jin was ready to talk with Kazuya like two adults. So he looked unsure at the man that began to make some tea and wondered if it was alright to speak.
“Jin?” he asked, deciding that he had nothing to fear of. Jin would never hurt him, even if a moment ago he looked ready to do so.
“What?” Jin snapped, not bothering to look at Ueda and just concentrating on his task.
Okay, Jin was not in the mood to talk, Ueda thought a bit displeased with the way Jin had replied. But it was normal, he continued, it was very normal to feel irked and want to bite everyone’s head off, especially the person’s who had just been kissed by the one you loved. Therefore, Ueda didn’t blame Jin, no, he tried to understand him even though he possessed little patience himself.
“What is the relationship between you and Kame?” Ueda asked after a few moments thinking that they had to talk even if the other wasn’t up to it.
Jin stopped for a few moments and turned to look at Ueda, looking like it was in slow-motion. He cocked an eyebrow, trying to hide his trembling hands and the anger that was still burning up inside of him. He could do it. He needed to control himself and he will do it. But it didn’t seem that easily as Jin wanted to be.
“And why should I tell you?” he asked on a mocking tone. “You asked me to lie to Kazuya about our own relationship, so now why should I tell you the truth about my connection with him?” he continued, looking now at Ueda with a really curious expression.
He had been a fool to fall into his trap.
“If you don’t want to tell, then don’t.” Ueda replied, now really hurt by Jin’s words. “Just… just don’t talk to me like you hate me.” He then added, letting his head fall into his chest and closing his eyes. He usually wasn’t weak, it was love which made him feel weak and act accordingly.
Jin sighed and rolled his eyes, not knowing which feelings should he let dominate. He really cared about Ueda because he had been the one to help and support him when Kazuya didn’t want to be with Jin, the one who had kept his mind off of hurtful things and with whom he had had great sex, amazing sex! But on the other hand, Jin wanted to rip his head off because he was also the reason that Kazuya was mad at him. He wanted to crush him and made him beg for forgiveness just because he had been kissed by the younger. Kazuya was only his! He was the only one allowed to touch his lips and he had sworn to kill anyone else that dared to do it!
He looked at Ueda and felt a tinge of pain clutching at his heart. Ueda was also special for him. He still didn’t know why, but the older had managed to crawl into his heart and gain a place of his own. But it wasn’t big and it didn’t even compare with Kazuya’s.
Jin slowly approached Ueda and stopped in front of him, putting his index finger under Ueda’s chin to raise it and make the older one look into his eyes. “I don’t hate you.” He whispered, a hint of gentleness in his eyes as they bore into the other’s. “I am grateful to you.” He added, biting his lower lip and cursing himself for not knowing for to express his feelings better.
If earlier Ueda’s heart was throbbing with pain, now it clenched with tainted happiness. He stopped his hands from hugging Jin and simply looked at him, thinking that they will probably won’t see each other after this. “Don’t…” his voice was hoarse, but determined. “Don’t be nice to me. I’ll fall for you even more.” He continued, the bright brown of his eyes now sparkling with pain and love.
Jin smiled, brightly and serene as if it was the sunshine. He leaned over Ueda and kissed him on the forehead, detaching himself from the older after. “Don’t.” he said with a voice calm and composed, full of gentleness and care. “Don’t fall for me, you don’t deserve something like this.” He added, taking one more step back, but still looking into Ueda’s eyes.
Ah, he was going away, Ueda thought as he watched Jin move from him. The kiss he gave him now burnt more intensely than the ones he had received in the past. So he gathered the strength to smile, he closed his eyes and looked only at Jin, feeling that great loves were the ones that weren’t fulfilled, the unrequited ones. Yeah, it was more romantic this way.
“Now you’re ready to go and talk with him.” Ueda said, feeling the thorns in his heart sinking deeper. “I wish I could say…” he began and gulped once, thinking that he had said so many times that it will be hard not to be able to do so from on. “…sorry that I loved you.” He completed, smiling fully at Jin, his big and goofy smile that Jin had once mentioned that he loved it. “Cause I’m not.” Ueda added and turned to leave. It was better to leave now, to let everything behind while he still could do so.
“Tatsuya!” Jin called after him and when he saw him stopping, Jin took a deep breath. It was weird because if he would go back to the day all of this started, then he’ll remember that Ueda had been the one to say that he wasn’t asking for a relationship, that Jin had said he wasn’t sure, that he shouldn’t start anything. Ueda had laughed at his words and now he had fallen in love.
“I don’t regret meeting you.” Jin confessed, his voice seeming a little broken, but at this point, he didn’t know what was the reason for it. “I’m glad because I know you, because you’ve been mine.” He continued, gulping once and wanting to say his feelings, at least for the last time. “You’re special and you should know it.” He smiled. “So… don’t disappear completely.” He pleaded, hoping that the day when Ueda will be able to search for him without any hurtful feelings will come soon.
“I won’t.” Ueda answered and though Jin couldn’t see him, he was fighting back the tears. No, he wasn’t a weak man, he won’t cry over a broken heart. He wasn’t that weak. “Just text me when you need me.” He said and exited the apartment quickly, feeling that if he stayed another minute, he’d crash down, he’d go begging to Jin to love him and not Kazuya. But he won’t do such a thing, because he wasn’t that much of a fool when it came to love. He had been enough.
Jin looked after him with sad eyes, wondering why did he have to let go to the only person who had seemed to want to love him no matter what and who Jin cared for very much. And then he remembered Kazuya and his hurt eyes when he had seen Jin kissing Ueda. It took him two seconds to dash out of his apartment, get in his car and go to Kazuya’s home, hoping that he will be able to find the younger there. He was growing desperate as the road seemed endless and Kazuya wasn’t answering on his phone either. If he wasn’t home… no, Jin didn’t want to think of that. He wouldn’t be able to look for him the whole town and not break down. To not snap. To not hurt anyone that came his way.
PART II