Even ghosts get tired and go home (3/?)
You know the drill, it's under the cut woop woop
Chapter 3: Destructive Blues
[ 1]-[ 2]-[ 3]-[ 4]-[ 5]- [6]-[ 7]-[ 8]-[ 9]-[ 10]-[ 11] - [12]- [13]
"Sungmin!" he rolled his eyes at the teacher and answered. "Keep your attention to the class please!" He nodded... sighed. Put his arms across the desk again, this time tilting his head up towards the black board rather than staring into the desk. As always he felt Donghae's piercing gaze on him, he carefully glanced at him, noticing his eyes darting from his face and down to his arms thrown over the desk. He shook his head before noticing Donghae's eyes widening as they focused on a spot, confused Sungmin glanced down at himself, letting out a curse as he tugged the sleeves of his shirt down.
"Sungmin!" The teacher once again.
"I'm sorry I just-," instantly he was interrupted by his teacher's harsh voice.
"No sorry's, leave the class room please!" No protests helped, Sungmin just groaned in discontent and picked up his books, throwing Donghae one last glare before shamefully walking out of the classroom, stopping just a few feet outside before slumping his shoulders, sighing heavily. His mom had called the other day. She wanted to check on him and of course yell on him a little bit more, as if people weren't doing that enough already. Just as he was about to make his way to his locker to switch books for next class a voice stops him. He turned around and found himself staring into Donghae's big eyes.
"What did I do this time?" He was too tired for this and his voice was filled with defeat, he wasn't in the mood to fight, not one bit. But Donghae didn't say anything, he just kept looking at him before swiftly grabbing his wrist, pushing his sleeve up.
"Yah! Are you a fucking idiot or something?!" Donghae exclaimed as Sungmin tugged his hand back and pulled the fabric down to cover his scarred skin.
"What's it to you?" For once Sungmin glared back, infuriated at the way Donghae violated his personal space. "Don't touch me okay?"
"Why do you do that?! Are you stupid?" Donghae kept prompting, demanding an answer, his eyes were still wide and focused on Sungmin, digging all the way into his soul. But there was something different with the way Donghae looked at him this time. Slowly Sungmin swallowed down the lump in his throat before turning around quickly, rushing into the bathroom, quickly, he just wanted to avoid Donghae and his stupid stare. But to no avail, Donghae followed him behind and grabbed his arm again, yanking him back, not letting him escape.
"Let me go you fucking prick!" He kept pulling at his arm, trying to get away from Donghae's grip but alas, he couldn't get his arm out. Since when did Donghae care about his health?
"Are you cutting yourself because of that psycho killer?" And it snapped, something burst inside Sungmin and he leaned closer to Donghae, not more than a few inches away as he snarled at him, anger filling his voice to the brim.
"He wasn't a psycho! Don't you dare talk about him like that!" His heart was pounding fast, Donghae still had a grip on his arm and Sungmin was shaking, his fists clasped and his eyebrows pushed down into an angry frown.
"Oh yeah? What, where you in love with him or something?" Sungmin's eyes weakened, searching their way to the floor and suddenly his mouth went completely dry. With Donghae just staring at him before his eyes widened and his release slowly getting looser.
"Oh..." Donghae said and Sungmin scratched his arm, shaking his head before sliding down against the wall onto the floor, leaning his elbows against his legs and burying his face in his hands.
"You didn't know him... So don't talk about him," he murmured, not looking up, trying his best to avoid Donghae's eyes. But before he knew it he suddenly could feel the heat from Donghae's body close to his. Carefully he peeked up and noticed Donghae next to him, his hands clasped together and his thumbs rolling over each other.
"He killed my best friend..." Those were his choice of words and Sungmin looked up at him with weary eyes and a sad frown.
"I know... I hate him for it.... I hate him for throwing away his life like this, I hate him for being so irrational... But he was my best friend," And surprisingly enough Donghae nodded, not looking at Sungmin or anywhere in particular actually. Just straight ahead.
"Was he... I mean... Was he a normal kid?" And Sungmin nodded, just slightly, fiddling with his fingers and staring into the wall in front of him. Just like Donghae.
"He was nice... caring," breathe. "When we were in preschool I'd get teased by the older kids... He'd always come and defend me even though he was a scrawny kid," in the corner of his eyes he saw a small smile on Donghae's lips and Sungmin chuckled a little, shaking his head.
"He'd always get into trouble and make me come with him, I'd be so worried that we'd get caught but he'd just shrug it off... A lot of times this involved climbing over the fence and out of the school yard which, as you know, for a preschooler can be traumatic," he heard Donghae laugh, not that menacing, mean laughter he'd only heard before but this was different. It was a soft chiming laughter.
"And it was his idea that we'd go to college together, and everything was going great... Until Heechul came along," this was the moment where Sungmin realized that Donghae didn't know anything, their eyes met and Donghae raised his brows.
"Heechul? Hyukjae's boyfriend?" Sungmin sighed, he would have to spill it, tell it all.
"I forgot you don't know... well no one knew.... Heechul was having an affair with Kyuhyun," another deep sigh and another shaky breath, he was just expecting a punch from Donghae.
"It had been going on since like... September or something and it drove Kyuhyun mad... Which I can understand because Heechul didn't really treat him very well,"
"I always got bad vibes from that guy," There was exhaustion in Donghae's voice and a weird sense of relief. Sungmin glanced at him as he shook his head, sighing and pressing his index fingers against his temples, massaging them slowly.
"Yeah... I just noticed over time how Kyuhyun became more and more... Angry, jealous, hot tempered... It was eating him up from the inside," It was hard talking about Kyuhyun with someone else, it'd usually just be him and his phone. Not the best friend of the one person Kyuhyun hated the most. What was he doing? Sitting here having deep talks with Lee Donghae?
"You know... I just thought he was some psycho who decided to kill two people... I never saw him as... a person," Donghae's voice was weak and there was a recognizable sadness in his voice, Sungmin knew his pain, and he felt guilty for it.
"He killed your best friend... Of course you didn't," Suddenly the mood had changed, suddenly something really big had changed, Donghae started crying and hesitantly Sungmin draped an arm around his frame, gently rubbing his palm over Donghae's shoulder. The boy who had been torturing him for the past two months was suddenly crying in his embrace.
"I thought you were just like that too... For being friends with him, I guess... I guess it made it easier to deal with or something, I don't even know," He was just babbling, shaking his head, leaning against Sungmin who eventually felt tears running down his own face.
So there they were, Lee Donghae and Lee Sungmin crying together in the men's bathroom. Being much more similar than neither of them even knew.
"You shouldn't cut yourself, Sungmin," his mouth went dry and he pursed his lips again, feeling Donghae's immense stare on his wrists and arms even as they were covered by a layer of fabric. There was no spite in Donghae's voice, just pity and sadness.
"It makes the pain go away," the words were barely audible and Sungmin felt ashamed as he spoke them, ashamed of his actions, ashamed of Donghae noticing. Lee Donghae.
"It's still no good... I know how you feel but... You shouldn't do it," he was concerned, genuinely concerned and it made Sungmin feel both safer as well as a bit uneasy. What if he had ulterior motives? What if he would spread it to the entire school? Emo kid Sungmin. It sure as hell made him uneasy. Discretely Sungmin retracted his arm, wrapping his arms around his legs again. They kept talking, easy conversation mixed with deeper topics. Donghae would make him talk about Kyuhyun and Sungmin would make him talk about Hyukjae. Apparently they got to know each other in middle-school, they had both been on the soccer team and they instantly became best friends. Donghae was the first person Hyukjae came out to, he was the first person that found out about Heechul, everything. Listening to Donghae talk about him made Sungmin smile, small at first but eventually wider. They spent the remains of their current class as well as their next together, going down memory lane talking about their dead friends, laughing together, crying together and hurting together.
"Give me your phone," Donghae prompted, his voice was suddenly commanding, he stared Sungmin straight into his eyes and held his hand out. With slight hesitation Sungmin pulled his phone up, holding it out before Donghae grabbed it and started typing on it.
"What are you doing?" He was both curious and anxious, he didn't want Donghae to find the endless messages and calls to Kyuhyun.
"I know we're not exactly friends... But whenever you feel like cutting yourself... Call me... I sent a text to myself so I have your number too," he got his phone back from the boy next to him and looked at the screen where the name "Lee Donghae," was written along with a phone number. Slightly confused he looked up at Donghae who was now standing up, a small smile across his lips.
"You're not as horrible as I thought Sungmin... Maybe we will be friends," his words spread a smile on Sungmin's lips and he nodded before getting up, brushing away the dirt on his pants, straightening them out and looking up to meet Donghae's eyes. They had a friendly look to them rather than the usual hostility and Donghae gently patted his back before walking out the bathroom, leaving Sungmin alone in the large room. He took a deep shaky breath and looked himself in the mirror, splashing water in his face to remove the puffiness of his eyes, staring at his own reflection. Lee Donghae.
Of all people who would come talk to him for over an hour it would be Lee Donghae.
Sungmin looked at his phone and scoffed a little, shaking his head. Why would he call Donghae when he was sad? Of all people why would he call Donghae?
He didn't think about it more than that and pushed the phone into his pocket before leaving the bathroom. Leaving the idea of being friends with Lee Donghae behind him.
PREVIOUS - NEXT
A/N: Another day, another chapter! I guess this is the real start of the story? Anyways I am planning to update Wednesdays & Sundays fyi so you know when to keep in tune yay.
On a side note I am looking for a new beta since mine is occupied with studies at the time. What I guess I require is for the beta to be English native or completely fluent in English, to have good insight in grammar, spelling and formulations. So yeah, if you're interested just drop a comment and we can talk about it? Other than that there isn't much to say, hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a comment <3
Chapter 3: Destructive Blues
[ 1]-[ 2]-[ 3]-[ 4]-[ 5]- [6]-[ 7]-[ 8]-[ 9]-[ 10]-[ 11] - [12]- [13]
"Sungmin!" he rolled his eyes at the teacher and answered. "Keep your attention to the class please!" He nodded... sighed. Put his arms across the desk again, this time tilting his head up towards the black board rather than staring into the desk. As always he felt Donghae's piercing gaze on him, he carefully glanced at him, noticing his eyes darting from his face and down to his arms thrown over the desk. He shook his head before noticing Donghae's eyes widening as they focused on a spot, confused Sungmin glanced down at himself, letting out a curse as he tugged the sleeves of his shirt down.
"Sungmin!" The teacher once again.
"I'm sorry I just-," instantly he was interrupted by his teacher's harsh voice.
"No sorry's, leave the class room please!" No protests helped, Sungmin just groaned in discontent and picked up his books, throwing Donghae one last glare before shamefully walking out of the classroom, stopping just a few feet outside before slumping his shoulders, sighing heavily. His mom had called the other day. She wanted to check on him and of course yell on him a little bit more, as if people weren't doing that enough already. Just as he was about to make his way to his locker to switch books for next class a voice stops him. He turned around and found himself staring into Donghae's big eyes.
"What did I do this time?" He was too tired for this and his voice was filled with defeat, he wasn't in the mood to fight, not one bit. But Donghae didn't say anything, he just kept looking at him before swiftly grabbing his wrist, pushing his sleeve up.
"Yah! Are you a fucking idiot or something?!" Donghae exclaimed as Sungmin tugged his hand back and pulled the fabric down to cover his scarred skin.
"What's it to you?" For once Sungmin glared back, infuriated at the way Donghae violated his personal space. "Don't touch me okay?"
"Why do you do that?! Are you stupid?" Donghae kept prompting, demanding an answer, his eyes were still wide and focused on Sungmin, digging all the way into his soul. But there was something different with the way Donghae looked at him this time. Slowly Sungmin swallowed down the lump in his throat before turning around quickly, rushing into the bathroom, quickly, he just wanted to avoid Donghae and his stupid stare. But to no avail, Donghae followed him behind and grabbed his arm again, yanking him back, not letting him escape.
"Let me go you fucking prick!" He kept pulling at his arm, trying to get away from Donghae's grip but alas, he couldn't get his arm out. Since when did Donghae care about his health?
"Are you cutting yourself because of that psycho killer?" And it snapped, something burst inside Sungmin and he leaned closer to Donghae, not more than a few inches away as he snarled at him, anger filling his voice to the brim.
"He wasn't a psycho! Don't you dare talk about him like that!" His heart was pounding fast, Donghae still had a grip on his arm and Sungmin was shaking, his fists clasped and his eyebrows pushed down into an angry frown.
"Oh yeah? What, where you in love with him or something?" Sungmin's eyes weakened, searching their way to the floor and suddenly his mouth went completely dry. With Donghae just staring at him before his eyes widened and his release slowly getting looser.
"Oh..." Donghae said and Sungmin scratched his arm, shaking his head before sliding down against the wall onto the floor, leaning his elbows against his legs and burying his face in his hands.
"You didn't know him... So don't talk about him," he murmured, not looking up, trying his best to avoid Donghae's eyes. But before he knew it he suddenly could feel the heat from Donghae's body close to his. Carefully he peeked up and noticed Donghae next to him, his hands clasped together and his thumbs rolling over each other.
"He killed my best friend..." Those were his choice of words and Sungmin looked up at him with weary eyes and a sad frown.
"I know... I hate him for it.... I hate him for throwing away his life like this, I hate him for being so irrational... But he was my best friend," And surprisingly enough Donghae nodded, not looking at Sungmin or anywhere in particular actually. Just straight ahead.
"Was he... I mean... Was he a normal kid?" And Sungmin nodded, just slightly, fiddling with his fingers and staring into the wall in front of him. Just like Donghae.
"He was nice... caring," breathe. "When we were in preschool I'd get teased by the older kids... He'd always come and defend me even though he was a scrawny kid," in the corner of his eyes he saw a small smile on Donghae's lips and Sungmin chuckled a little, shaking his head.
"He'd always get into trouble and make me come with him, I'd be so worried that we'd get caught but he'd just shrug it off... A lot of times this involved climbing over the fence and out of the school yard which, as you know, for a preschooler can be traumatic," he heard Donghae laugh, not that menacing, mean laughter he'd only heard before but this was different. It was a soft chiming laughter.
"And it was his idea that we'd go to college together, and everything was going great... Until Heechul came along," this was the moment where Sungmin realized that Donghae didn't know anything, their eyes met and Donghae raised his brows.
"Heechul? Hyukjae's boyfriend?" Sungmin sighed, he would have to spill it, tell it all.
"I forgot you don't know... well no one knew.... Heechul was having an affair with Kyuhyun," another deep sigh and another shaky breath, he was just expecting a punch from Donghae.
"It had been going on since like... September or something and it drove Kyuhyun mad... Which I can understand because Heechul didn't really treat him very well,"
"I always got bad vibes from that guy," There was exhaustion in Donghae's voice and a weird sense of relief. Sungmin glanced at him as he shook his head, sighing and pressing his index fingers against his temples, massaging them slowly.
"Yeah... I just noticed over time how Kyuhyun became more and more... Angry, jealous, hot tempered... It was eating him up from the inside," It was hard talking about Kyuhyun with someone else, it'd usually just be him and his phone. Not the best friend of the one person Kyuhyun hated the most. What was he doing? Sitting here having deep talks with Lee Donghae?
"You know... I just thought he was some psycho who decided to kill two people... I never saw him as... a person," Donghae's voice was weak and there was a recognizable sadness in his voice, Sungmin knew his pain, and he felt guilty for it.
"He killed your best friend... Of course you didn't," Suddenly the mood had changed, suddenly something really big had changed, Donghae started crying and hesitantly Sungmin draped an arm around his frame, gently rubbing his palm over Donghae's shoulder. The boy who had been torturing him for the past two months was suddenly crying in his embrace.
"I thought you were just like that too... For being friends with him, I guess... I guess it made it easier to deal with or something, I don't even know," He was just babbling, shaking his head, leaning against Sungmin who eventually felt tears running down his own face.
So there they were, Lee Donghae and Lee Sungmin crying together in the men's bathroom. Being much more similar than neither of them even knew.
"You shouldn't cut yourself, Sungmin," his mouth went dry and he pursed his lips again, feeling Donghae's immense stare on his wrists and arms even as they were covered by a layer of fabric. There was no spite in Donghae's voice, just pity and sadness.
"It makes the pain go away," the words were barely audible and Sungmin felt ashamed as he spoke them, ashamed of his actions, ashamed of Donghae noticing. Lee Donghae.
"It's still no good... I know how you feel but... You shouldn't do it," he was concerned, genuinely concerned and it made Sungmin feel both safer as well as a bit uneasy. What if he had ulterior motives? What if he would spread it to the entire school? Emo kid Sungmin. It sure as hell made him uneasy. Discretely Sungmin retracted his arm, wrapping his arms around his legs again. They kept talking, easy conversation mixed with deeper topics. Donghae would make him talk about Kyuhyun and Sungmin would make him talk about Hyukjae. Apparently they got to know each other in middle-school, they had both been on the soccer team and they instantly became best friends. Donghae was the first person Hyukjae came out to, he was the first person that found out about Heechul, everything. Listening to Donghae talk about him made Sungmin smile, small at first but eventually wider. They spent the remains of their current class as well as their next together, going down memory lane talking about their dead friends, laughing together, crying together and hurting together.
"Give me your phone," Donghae prompted, his voice was suddenly commanding, he stared Sungmin straight into his eyes and held his hand out. With slight hesitation Sungmin pulled his phone up, holding it out before Donghae grabbed it and started typing on it.
"What are you doing?" He was both curious and anxious, he didn't want Donghae to find the endless messages and calls to Kyuhyun.
"I know we're not exactly friends... But whenever you feel like cutting yourself... Call me... I sent a text to myself so I have your number too," he got his phone back from the boy next to him and looked at the screen where the name "Lee Donghae," was written along with a phone number. Slightly confused he looked up at Donghae who was now standing up, a small smile across his lips.
"You're not as horrible as I thought Sungmin... Maybe we will be friends," his words spread a smile on Sungmin's lips and he nodded before getting up, brushing away the dirt on his pants, straightening them out and looking up to meet Donghae's eyes. They had a friendly look to them rather than the usual hostility and Donghae gently patted his back before walking out the bathroom, leaving Sungmin alone in the large room. He took a deep shaky breath and looked himself in the mirror, splashing water in his face to remove the puffiness of his eyes, staring at his own reflection. Lee Donghae.
Of all people who would come talk to him for over an hour it would be Lee Donghae.
Sungmin looked at his phone and scoffed a little, shaking his head. Why would he call Donghae when he was sad? Of all people why would he call Donghae?
He didn't think about it more than that and pushed the phone into his pocket before leaving the bathroom. Leaving the idea of being friends with Lee Donghae behind him.
PREVIOUS - NEXT
A/N: Another day, another chapter! I guess this is the real start of the story? Anyways I am planning to update Wednesdays & Sundays fyi so you know when to keep in tune yay.
On a side note I am looking for a new beta since mine is occupied with studies at the time. What I guess I require is for the beta to be English native or completely fluent in English, to have good insight in grammar, spelling and formulations. So yeah, if you're interested just drop a comment and we can talk about it? Other than that there isn't much to say, hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a comment <3