Even ghosts get tired and go home (12/?)
OH MY GOD I am so sorry for not having updated I am literal trash, just know that I am still planning on finishing this and I am currently still writing on chapter 15. Don't worry I won't abandon you <3
[ 1]-[ 2]-[ 3]-[ 4]-[ 5]- [6]-[ 7]-[ 8]-[ 9]-[ 10]-[ 11] - [12]- [13]
Days went by and the end of October was closing in and that meant Halloween. Things had become strange since that day and night. At first it had been Sungmin who gave Donghae the cold hand, keeping his distance, brazenly ignoring him at times. But Donghae was equally careful, never ever allowing the two alone time, always making sure that someone else was with them. Always making sure they were never alone.
But neither of their plans to remove their feelings actually worked, over two weeks of trying to stop being in love. Completely unsuccessful. Failed. Sungmin’s heart still skipped a beat when Donghae touched him and Donghae’s insides still melted whenever Sungmin smiled. They were still both madly in love with each other but neither of them would admit it. They were far too proud for that.
They had all been planning to go out on Halloween, not to a party of any sort but to hang out at a cemetery, holding their own small party amongst the dead. Sungmin planned on not going, he didn’t feel like getting drunk with Donghae anymore. He didn’t feel like getting his heart broken anymore. When Ryeowook asked if he was coming he just made up some shitty lie about having other plans when in reality he was planning on staying at home, get wasted and watch the Addams family. Such grand, extraordinary plans. He glanced outside as it was growing darker and turned on the TV, slumping lower into the couch with a deep sigh. Was this his life now? After a couple of episode his phone started buzzing and Sungmin groaned. It was probably Donghae calling, drunk and begging him to join them wherever they were or asking Sungmin to come pick them up.
Yesung.
“Hello,” Sungmin’s voice sounder raspier than he thought and he cleared this throat, sitting up a little straighter in the couch, slightly confused over the fact that Yesung called.
“What are you doing?” Straight to the point. As always. Sungmin chuckled a little bit.
“Watching the Addams family,” Sungmin could hear Yesung sighing over the phone and probably leaning back in whatever he was sitting on.
“Why aren’t you out with Donghae or something?” Yesung said calmly and Sungmin started stuttering, blabbering softly, what was he supposed to say? He couldn’t say the truth… Or?
Eventually he caved in, leaned his forehead against his palm, pressing his hand hard against his skin. Spilling it all over the phone, every touch, every kiss, every word. All of it. Not once did Yesung interrupt him or try to talk over him, he just ‘hm’d from time to time, sometimes asking a follow up question.
Without noticing it Sungmin had started crying, he was pouring his entire heart out, saying things he had never said aloud. It felt strange to hear it and it made Sungmin realize just how pathetic he was. Also just how broken up he was about it, how desperate he was for Donghae to love him. He kept apologizing to Yesung, apologizing for sounding so stupid, for not having told him sooner, for crying, for bothering him. Sungmin just kept saying sorry and Yesung just kept swatting his apologies away. Sungmin kept talking about his feelings, how much he just wanted Donghae to be his, how he loved him. Because he did, he actually did love him.
“Have you told him this?” Yesung said calmly, a little bit too calm in Sungmin’s opinion because he couldn’t really figure out if he was mad at him or annoyed or felt bad for him or whatever.
“No… only that I like him,” Sungmin said with a meek voice, worming a little in his seat lightly agonized about what Yesung would reply. But all he did was sigh again and answered with a soft, kind voice.
“Why don’t you? Go tonight and talk to him. Just don’t sit home and mope because that is not going to make it any better,” he was right, Sungmin knew it, he was just anxious to be with Donghae, scared that maybe he’d do something wrong and have Donghae despise him for all eternity. He was just far too scared and he didn’t answer, he just looked down into the ground and flicked his thumbnail against his index finger. Ultimately he sighed and answered a small ‘okay’ still a bit unsure, still apprehensive.
“Promise me, Sungmin,” this time Yesung had a little more force in his voice, a little more authority, decisive. Sungmin swallowed down and took a deep breath, keeping his eyes closed.
“I promise,” and as Sungmin said that it was as if he could hear Yesung smiling to himself on the other side of the phone. They talked a little bit more, mostly it was Sungmin trying to come up with good reasons to stay home, trying to convince Yesung who honestly just wouldn’t take it. He kept probing and standing stalwart about what he said. Sungmin did promise to go and talk to Donghae. He promised a friend and you do not break promises made to friends.
He tried to compose himself as he hung up, fanning his hands against his face to dry the tears, deep breaths, just take deep breaths Sungmin. With precarious fingers he slowly typed out a message for Donghae, short and to the point, asking him which cemetery they were at. One deep breath, press send, and then the real disquiet kicked in. Sungmin paced through the room with hasty steps, back and forth over the creaking floor. Oh God, oh God, he kept mumbling and twisting his hands in each other, the phone clasped in one of them. After five minutes or so of pacing the phone vibrated in his hand and Sungmin jolted, letting out a little squeak and repeating a comforting mantra before daring to read the text.
“You changed your mind? :D Great! We’re at the cemetery by the city hall, not the one where they’re buried,” the text message read, simple, to the point and Sungmin knew exactly where they were. A little part of him actually wished that Donghae hadn’t replied at all but now it was too late, he knew he had to go now. A sigh rolled off his tongue and he pulled his jacket on, glancing at himself in the hall way mirror for a few seconds, lifting his hand to flip himself off. Idiot. Why did he have to promise Yesung? Stupid.
The cemetery wasn’t too far away, at least that’s how Sungmin remembered it, so he could walk the distance, yeah, paying for a cab would just be a waste of money. He could hear the music from quite a distance, how big boom boxes did they bring? From the sound of it they’d be huge as fuck, it was a good thing that Sungmin deliberated about the music because it kept his otherwise occupied mind distracted. Once he came to the cemetery he noticed the broken up lock and shook his head, slowly walking in the direction where he saw some lights, his heart was racing and he started feeling a bit nauseous. Oh god he couldn’t throw up when he just arrived.
There was maybe 20-25 people sitting or standing around and that’s when he saw him, Donghae, he was in the furthest end of the circle of people and the first person to spot Sungmin, grinning widely as he pushed the few people standing in his way as he marched up to Sungmin. Cooing his name and laughing loudly as he tripped onto Sungmin, wow he was drunk.
“I’m glad you came,” Donghae said and leaned his head on Sungmin’s shoulder, peering up at him and poking his cheek, still with that cheeky grin across his face. Sungmin tried to be stern, don’t fall into it Sungmin, don’t let him… It was too late already, Donghae had handed Sungmin a beer and grabbed his wrist, pulling him with Donghae to sit down on a blanket on the ground.
They would lean against the backside of a big tomb stone and they had all basically formed a circle in the “aisle” in the graveyard. It was a little bit morbid, Sungmin admitted that, but being surrounded by people and noises made it easier.
Donghae pulled Sungmin close to him and interlaced their fingers, not actually looking at Sungmin or anything but listening and engaging in some thrilling conversation two girls that Sungmin didn’t know were having. The action still made Sungmin's cheeks heat up and he turned his head in the other direction, only to meet Shindong’s wondering eyes. He raised his eyebrows as he looked at Sungmin, then glanced at his and Donghae’s entwined fingers and again Sungmin had to look away. Obviously embarrassed and awkward he started chewing on his lip, keeping his eyes on a patch of dirt next to him, that was until he felt Donghae’s warm breath against his neck.
“What’s the matter?” Donghae said softly, his exhale tickling Sungmin’s skin and sending shivers down his spine. His eyes fluttered a bit and he swallowed down, struggling to compose himself.
“Just relax and have fun, okay?” Donghae continued, his voice ever so soft and soothing and Sungmin just nodded, perplexed at Donghae’s sweetness and inquisitiveness. Suddenly he felt Donghae’s lips against his skin, he kept them pressed against Sungmin’s neck, catching a flash at Sungmin’s expression. He tilted his head a little, let his eyes fall shut for just a mument, oh god, and just like that Donghae was talking to the two girls again. Sungmin opened his eyes and cleared his throat, noticing Shindong was still watching the two of them. This way the night progressed, Donghae giving Sungmin new drinks whenever he was done with the current one he had, one second being the typical friend to the next where he’d be a little far too intimate for Sungmin’s liking. At least not this public.
But Donghae didn’t seem to bother, but then again, it could just be the alcohol, as it usually was. Eventually they busted out the weed, as expected, some on bongs, others with pipes and a few rolling joints. Sungmin actually had a good time, he got high as fuck, had Donghae by his side the entire side, whispering sweet words, brushing his fingers over Sungmin's, gently touching his side, small kisses against Sungmin’s jaw and neck. Although Shindong was constantly watching, one eyebrow raised, making Sungmin feel awfully awkward and embarrassed.
Sometimes he could tell that Donghae noticed too, but that didn’t keep him from continuing, he would lean a little closer, squeeze his hand tighter. In all honesty Sungmin didn’t think anyone else noticed the way they acted, either that or they just didn’t care. Something which seemed highly unlikely as it seemed every single girl around them wanted to get into Donghae’s pants. They would be flirting with him, sending him dirty looks and leaning in to whisper something in his ear, pushing their cleavage in his face, ghosting their lips over his cheek. It made Sungmin insanely jealous, but at the same time he knew he had nothing to be jealous of. Donghae wasn’t his boyfriend, no matter how hard he might want him to be. As the clock closed in to 4am most of the people had scampered and they were only a few people left, Sungmin, Donghae, Hangeng and this one girl who seemed extremely eager to ride Donghae’s dick.
“I think I should get going,” Donghae said, for the first time letting go off Sungmin’s hand to stand up. He stumbled a little and laughed softly, brushing the dirt off from his pants and Sungmin just sat there, looking up at him, admiring his face, body, admiring him.
“Oppa, walk me home?” The girl said with the most fake baby voice Sungmin had ever heard, she squeezed her tits a little extra and looked at Donghae with a pout and big eyes. Without himself knowing it Sungmin glared at her, slightly worried for Donghae’s answer but he just shook his head and held his hand out for Sungmin to grab.
“I don’t think I’ll find my way back from wherever you live,” just like that, casually, it was no big deal, and Sungmin let out a rather heavy sigh of relief as he took a hold of Donghae’s hand who then pulled Sungmin up onto his feet. Not letting his hand go and keeping Sungmin close to him.
“Can I stay at your place?” She asked. Jeez bitch, take a hint. Sungmin scoffed and rolled his eyes and Donghae glanced at him, chuckling a little bit.
“Sorry, I already have company,” Donghae answered with a smile and held up his and Sungmin’s hands, one last shrug to his shoulders before he tugged Sungmin along with him. What had just happened? They walked for a few minutes before Sungmin decided to speak;
“What did you mean you have company?” and Donghae laughed a little and nudged Sungmin’s shoulder, leaning in to press a wet kiss on his cheek. Still sending shivers down Sungmin’s spine.
“Stay the night with me,” Donghae said and kissed his cheek again, this time lingering for a little longer. His voice was extremely inviting and Sungmin could feel his knees about to give in beneath him. He nodded a little and saw from the corner of the eye how Donghae smiled. That warm and perfect smile that only Donghae could smile. They kept walking in almost perfect silence all the way to Donghae’s dorm where they almost instantly crashed onto the bed. Only this time Donghae didn’t mention the extra cover, instead he just pulled Sungmin into his arms and kissed him, passionately, deeply. In that mument Sungmin felt his body turn limb, he was completely emancipated from any previous mind ghosts. Cause in this mument everything was just perfect. Slowly Donghae pulled away from the kiss to look into Sungmin’s eyes just for a brief mument before his eyes fell shut.
“I love you Donghae…”
“I love you too.”
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