The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chapter 2.3
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2.1 | 2.2
Gage: God, I hate bankers. All they think about is money. Good thing I always keep some spare cash in my sock.
Anna: Gage, you just got a loan. He didn't take anything from you.
Gage: Oh he will. Just you wait. Did you see the interest rates on that loan?! I'm going to be paying that back until the day I die.
Why did Gage have to get a loan?
Well, with Freckles having a baby on the way, they needed more space. And I suck at building houses. Or I was lazy. OR! I didn't feel like moving all their crap into one corner of the lawn and fiddling and all that garbage. And I saw this house (built by someone who isn't me but atm the name is lost on me..) and thought. "Now that is a legacy house."
When Gage called and moved into the house, I laughed so hard when I found the family running from their home to the new home.
And of course Porkchop is last. As always.
Porkchop: Guys! Wait up!
Obligatory "pose in front of the new house like we're badass" shot.
Porkchop: Man, that run made me hungry. This is like, on the other side of town from our old house. Shit.
Squishy: Anyone want to tell me why the fuck he is here?
Anna: I can only assume you're referring to Markus? And, well. He lives with you guys now. Remember when he went all glitchy and got stuck in the walls? And couldn't go home?
Squishy: Yea, and I thought you were going to leave him there to rot. Like he deserves.
Anna: *shrug* Eh. I need his babies.
Freckles could tell that Squishy was upset by Markus. I think when he screamed and pulled out a wrench is when she got a clue. So she decided to have a talk with him.
Freckles: Can you please be less of an ass about this? I actually kind of like you. I mean, what am I supposed to do if I can't talk talk to you anymore because you're being an insufferable, pigheaded ass? Talk to Porkchop?
Squishy: Not likely. He's just so...Porkchop-y.
Freckles: Ikr?! What's up with that? Anyway, for me, can you at least try and be civil with Markus?
Squishy: Freckles, I kind of actually like you too. Like you said, what's my other option? Porkchop? But there is no way in hell I will ever be civil with your boyfriend. He's an ass. I'm writing a book about it. But I can at least promise you I will try and stay away from him. Deal?
Freckles: You're writing a book about it? Really? Wow. Can I have some of the royalties?
Squishy: ....no.
Once they were all moved in (aka, after I spent two hours meticulously decorating each and every room so it fit this family and their personalities while they stood outside and did NOTHING) the family decided to have a relaxing afternoon. After their morning of hard work. /bitter
Peanut chilled on the swings.
Freckles and Markus made use of the pool...
Freckles: This bathing suit is hideous. God. I'm not that pregnant. Can't I wear my other one instead?
And Squishy immediately booked it to his neighbours house. I don't know. I guess he wanted to be sociable?
Squishy: You told me to go here. I'm just being obedient.
Anna: Shut up!
Neighbour Girl: Hello?
Squishy: Uh. Heyyy. *shuffles awkwardly* Uhrm. So like. Hi. I'm Squishy Mrmpfle. We just moved into that house. Over there...ish. 'sup. *winks*
Neighbour Girl: Did you just wink at me? Excuse me Mr. Mrmpfle, but I'm a respectable young lady. My mother always taught me not to talk to young men who go around winking at girls. It would be unbecoming.
Squishy: Okay. I don't know what you just said. But who are you?
Neighbour Girl: Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I'm Annabelle Flowers.
Porkchop: Hey! Squishy! Hey! *pants* I saw you come over here, and I thought maybe you wanted to hang out. So I ran after you. I was calling you but you didn't hear me.
Squishy: I heard. *sigh* Annabelle. This is my brother Porkchop
Annabelle: Oh, hello. Porkchop? That's..an interesting name.
Porkchop: That's our mother for you.
Annabelle: Yes, well. I'll go ask my mother if I can have guests in the house. I don't know if she'll let me though. You are both boys.
Porkchop: So, she's...interesting.
Squishy: I think I'm love.
Porkchop: With her? She has the body of a 10 year old boy!
Squishy: That's the love of my life you're talking about! Watch what you say Porky.
Porkchop: Don't call me that...
Squishy: Don't insult my future girlfriend...
Papergirl: Why do I always have to come around when the crazies are visiting? Every house. There's always a crazy. Dammit!
Squishy: Heeeyyy there. So. I see you're at least part elf. That's pretty sexy. So am I. My mother, she's all elf you see. Hot yes?
Annabelle: I'd really appreciate it if you didn't use language like that. It makes me uncomfortable. But yes, my father was an elf. He and my mother ran away together, he died, she went back to her family, now we're here. Can we not talk about it?
Squishy: Oh, uhm. Sure. Sorry. So...do you like music?
Annabelle: Not really, no.
Porkchop felt bad about insulting Annabelle when Squishy was obviously so smitten with her. So he decided to make up for it but distracting May Flowers from Squishy hitting on her daughter.
May: You, boy, what are you doing there?
Porkchop: I'VE COME TO REARRANGE YOUR CUTLERY DRAWERS AND PUT SMALL SPOONS IN THE BIG SPOON SLOTS! MWUAHAHAHA!
May: *gasp* No! You wouldn't! Oh my goodness you monster!
Porkchop: Heh heh heh, looks my like job here is done.
Porkchop didn't count on May fighting back of course. He assumed she'd just faint in the chair and be incapacitated for the rest of the afternoon.
May: Let me tell you something about kids these days. They have no respect! None at all! Who would ever dare go into someone's home and reorganize their carefully laid out kitchen? You teenagers, you think these things don't matter! But they do! Oooh how they matter! And personal hygiene! You know, I wash my hands 40 times a day. How often do you wash your hands? Huh? Tell me! How often!
Back and the homestead Gage was doing..something. I'm not sure what but I sure don't like the look of it.
Gage: I'm hacking ;D
Anna: Yea, let's get you away from here before you ruin the laptop.
Outside, Markus and Freckles were doing what they do best. Which is to say, flirting outside in the line of sight of Squishy.
Luckily, he's rather engrossed in his conversation.
Squishy: So yea, we just moved in today. It's pretty cool. I'm actually pretty excited about my room. It's in the attic and it's wicked awesome cool. If you wanted, maybe I could show it to you sometime.
Annabelle: Uhm. Maybe, but, only if your mother or father was there. I wouldn't be comfortable otherwise.
Squishy: Right. Of course. I wouldn't dream of that.
Annabelle: I'll tell you one thing though. I don't want your brother there. He's kind of weird. I don't think I'll like him very much. *giggles*
Squishy: Ahahah! Yea, he's a giant loser.
Poor giant loser. No one loves him.
Porkchop: Seriously. Stop doing that. I know you're doing it on purpose.
Anna: What are you going on about?
Anna: Ah. I see.
May: Oh I'm sorry Porkchop. Did I throw a little too hard? Here, let me try again. I'll be more gentle this time.
Porkchop: Ow! Goddammit! That hurts!
Porkchop: *grumblemutter* I hope Squishy appreciates me distracting this horrible, evil woman for him. She's a beast and I hate her.
I think Porkchop might have a crush. Aww, how cute. ^^
Of course. Leave it to these two. They were enjoying an afternoon of sun and pool but no. They just couldn't leave it alone. At least they got the right bed this time.
They kind of make me want to puke if I'm being honest. They're just so damn adorable and cutesy and lovey with each other.
Markus: So, I'm sorry that you're getting fat and going to have a baby and everything. But I promise I'll be there for you and stuff. And I'll only make you get the baby when it's crying at night like, four out of five times. Promise.
Okay. Kind of lovey...
Freckles: Aww, that's so sweet Markus.
Freckles understands the intent behind the words. Which is what counts.
Also! Whoa! She has got some junk in her trunk. She must have inherited that from her mother. Or it's the baby. I don't know but DAYUMN GIRL!
Since I shooed Gage out of the house and away from the laptop he found the new telescope and decided to christen it.
Gage: OMG! It's that twitchy eyed girl! What in god's name is she doing?!
Gage: Anna. I'm scared. *shudders*
And that's where I'm going to leave you for now. Next time! BABY! (hopefully) GNOMES! (maybe?) ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! (oh no wait, that's a comic I'm reading. Nevermind.) Thanks again for reading guys. Group hugs? No? Okay fine. Forget I said anything. :/ OKAY! Awkward goodbyes ftw.