An Unbearable Fact 16b/??
Title: An Unbearable Fact
Chapters: 16b/??
Author:
darkwonderland3
Genre: AU/Romance/ Psychological/Angst
Warnings: Language, sexual scenes, mental diseases, violence, character death, suicide attempts, rape.
Rating: NC17
Pairings/Characters: Uruha/Aoi, Reita/Kai
Synopsis: When you lose the only person who loves you from the deepest of her heart, can you go on living? Do you manage to smile again? Can you fight against those demons who break you?
Posted on AO3: here
Posted on Wattpad: here
Previous chapters: Prologue, 1/??, 2/??, 3/??, 4/??, 5/??, 6/??, 7/??, 8/??, 9/??, 10a/??, 10b/??, 11/??, 12/??, 13/??, 14a/??, 14b/??, 15/??, 16a/??
Kouyou had waited two days before calling Akira again.
That day, he had been working with three models for a well-known jewellery brand on some group pictures, brand that needed to highlight its brand-new set of jewels - a pair of round shaped earrings, a necklace made of three teardrop shaped sapphires and white gold, and different rings inlaid with black diamonds and the bluest sapphires Kouyou had ever seen for each models. The three of them were beautifully dressed in expensive dresses of different sizes. The model wearing the earrings had long black hair cascading on her naked shoulders and was wearing a dress made of blood red lace, the same colour as her painted lips. The one wearing the necklace was slightly shorter than the others and was wearing a black and purple tulle dress with a lighter bolero jacket made of the same fabric. The last model had her hands crossed on the woman’s shoulder beside her, showing to the camera the expensive rings, her pristine white dress fitting her body perfectly.
After an endless photoshoot during which he had to start it over and over again since the representative of the brand had never been satisfied with the results, he had decided that everyone should take a well deserved break and had tried to find a quieter place. He needed to call him, needed to know how Yuu was, needed to know if today Yuu would want to talk to him.
It wasn’t even ten in the morning yet when he dialled Akira’s number, far away from the people he was working with.
“Hello?”
“It’s me. Kouyou.”
“Oh I wasn’t expecting your call today! You’re okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I just took a break,” Kouyou replied, sighing.
“Difficult models?”
“No, not at all! They’re really sweet, but Akira I don’t want to talk about work.”
“Sure, you called for Yuu,” Just by hearing his voice, Kouyou could see the smile Akira had to have on his lips.
“Well, you can’t blame me for being worried. Is he… Is he still with you?”
“Of course he is! He’s in the shower right now.”
“Ah… Seems like I’m calling at a wrong moment,” Kouyou said without trying to hide his disappointment. “Can I maybe call later?”
“No it’s okay. You want to talk to him, right?”
“Only if he wants to. I don’t want him to feel pressured.”
“I’ll ask him, but Kouyou,” Kouyou heard him knock on a door and Yuu’s muffled voice soon after. “Don’t be too disappointed if he doesn’t want. He needs time,” He then asked Yuu that question and once again Kouyou had to face that today wasn’t the right day. “I’m sorry Kouyou.”
“No don’t be, it’s okay. Just… tell me how he is doing.”
“Better. Actually, I told you last time he had a fever, remember?”
“And?”
“He was delirious. He told me you broke your promise concerning his dad, that his father has never listened to him and...”
“And what Akira,” It wasn’t a question and Kouyou felt his disappointment give place to anger, anger against Yuu’s father and against his inability to protect him. “Just spit it out!”
“He hates you.”
It was silent for a moment. Akira didn’t know what to add and Kouyou couldn't get these words out of his head. He hates you. Yuu had every right to hate him. Kouyou hadn’t been able to keep him safe, far away from his father's touches. He hadn’t been able to protect him and prevent him from suffering more than he had been before his internment. It was Kouyou's fault if Yuu was scared of him today, his own fault. He had promised his father would never touch him again, and yet he did.
“Give him the phone.”
“Kouyou he doesn’t want to talk to you, not yet.”
“Give him the damn phone Akira!” It wasn’t Kouyou's intention to shout and draw everyone’s attention to him. It wasn’t Kouyou's intention to sound angry at Akira. He couldn’t help feeling useless as Yuu needed him. Yuu had needed him in the hospital, he had needed him to tell him everything would be all right, he had needed him by his side after a nightmare and after each time his father was done with him. “Let me talk to him, he doesn’t have to talk to me.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t Kouyou, he needs time.”
“Please Akira… I have to tell him how sorry I am, he needs to know I would have done everything to keep him away from his father.”
“Kouyou,” Akira started in a soothing voice. “You know this isn’t easy for me. It pains me to see you both like that and I wish I could give him the phone, but I can’t. He’s not ready, he’s terrified and needs time. Be patient, please.”
“What has he done to him?” Kouyou asked hearing how his own voice was shaking. “What has he done to him for him to be scared of me?”
“I think it would be better to not know, at least for now. And if that can you make feel better, know that he was scared of me too when I took him with me. It’s not only you, Yuu is scared of everyone.”
“You were not kidding when you told me it was worse.”
“Yeah, but what’s scaring him the most is that you will see his body.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s thinner… and bruised,” Akira added after a few seconds of complete silence.
“Is it bad?”
“No they’re- hey he’s leaving the bathroom, you can call again whenever you want you know that, right?”
“I know.”
“And Kouyou, be patient. It won’t be long I promise.”
“Take care of him for me please,” Kouyou told him before hanging up.
Akira was right. He needed to be patient and his little outburst hadn’t been necessary. Of course he was worrying about Yuu, of course he needed to reassure him and tell him everything he had on his mind and everything he had wished to during those two years, but not like that. Not when anger was still controlling his thoughts, not when he was that impulsive. He had to calm down first. Kouyou knew himself well. If he had the chance, he would drive to Akira’s place in this instant, but that wasn’t the best thing to do. It would only scare Yuu more. And what would he do once there? He couldn’t barge in and say ‘hello’ as if the last time he’d seen him was yesterday. Yuu needed time, and so did Kouyou. They both needed time before they could talk to each other again. It has been two years, they both had changed during this period and no one knew, not even themselves, how they would react once face to face.
Putting his phone back in his pocket Kouyou took a deep breath before walking back to the three models and the other persons he was working with today, ignoring their worried glances.
* * *
Kouyou stretched his back and arms. He has been working for hours on his computer and he could now feel the pain in his neck and shoulders. Kouyou had a bunch of photos from the last photoshoot to edit for the next day and he was kinda… late. So he was working since this morning, only taking breaks to eat and drink something, barely answering to his phone or leaving his study to go to the front door when someone had knocked or rung. The faster he would be over with it, the faster he could get some rest. Kouyou got the impression that his amount of work would never end. If only he hadn’t procrastinate and did it on time!
After another twenty minutes, Kouyou got distracted by the ringing sound of his phone placed next to a pot full of pens and pencils. The screen was showing someone was calling, Akira, and he was about to pick it up when it stopped after only two rings and the screen went black again. Kouyou ignored it. Maybe his friend had dialled a wrong number or something like that. Except that Akira called back a few minutes after, and hung up again before Kouyou could answer. Akira called once more, and hung up after a few seconds. He was starting to lose patience when after the fourth time Akira was calling, he quickly took his phone and finally answered.
“Listen Akira, some people here are trying to work. I have no time for your crap!”
No answers, as expected.
“If you have nothing to say just hang up and let me work!”
“Sorry I… I didn’t...” Kouyou could recognize this voice from thousands and couldn’t believe this was happening. “It was a mistake… I should-”
“Don’t hang up! Please… Don’t hang up Yuu,” Kouyou interrupted him, his right hand tensed on the desk. “Talk to me, let me hear your voice.”
“But… you’re busy I-I shouldn't have called.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” Kouyou told him, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes before putting them beside his computer. He then stood up wanting to be far away from work while he would be on the phone with Yuu, and headed for the living-room where he stood in front of the French window. “Talk to me. Tell me how you’re doing or anything you want. I just want to hear you.”
“I’m fine… I guess, I mean… I was sick but I’m feeling better now.”
“Yeah, Akira told me about your fever,” Outside Kouyou could see kids playing in the snow, building snowmen and playing snowball fights. Kids with happy smiles on their faces. But he could hear no smile in Yuu’s voice. Only fear so it wasn’t worth telling Yuu he also knew what he had said that night. “Tell me more, I missed hearing your voice… I missed you.”
“I… I… Kouyou…”
“Don’t cry, please sweetheart don’t cry. It’s okay,” Hearing his sobs was breaking Kouyou inside. He wanted to take him in his arms and rock him whispering sweet nothings in his ears only to soothe him. He wanted to be by his side and wipe his tears, kiss his face, anything to bring a smile back on his lips. “You don’t have to be scared of me I won’t get mad, you know that, right?”
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Kouyou lulled him with his words, trying his best and after a few more sweet nothings whispered, they both went silent, only listening to each other’s breath through the handset. “Sweetheart? Are you still there?”
“I shouldn’t have cried… I’m weak… so weak. He’s always told me this.”
“You’re not, believe me you’re not. You’ve been through so many difficult times and look where you are now. You’re safe Yuu, Akira’s with you and I’m closer than you think.”
“Kouyou?”
“Yes?”
“I… I want to see you. I… I need you.”
That was everything Kouyou wanted to hear. After these few words said with a broken voice, Kouyou kept on whispering soothing words to Yuu, promising him they would meet soon again but that he didn’t have to feel pressured to tell him this because of that call. During the following minutes Kouyou asked him several times if he was really sure about that, feeling his lips stretched in a big grin when Yuu told him ‘yes’, asked him if he would be all right and reassured him each time Yuu was telling him he was sorry. Sorry about what? Kouyou didn’t know. He felt relieved though when, at the end of the call just before they both hung up, he couldn’t hear any sign of fear in Yuu’s voice. Or so he thought.
His phone in his hand, Kouyou’s smile hadn’t left his lips. Yuu had talked to him, Yuu had told him he needed him. After two years, he had finally been able to hear the voice which had been haunting his dreams and nightmares. Yuu was safe with Akira, but he wasn’t feeling well. Yuu’s voice and tears had betrayed him and deep within himself, Kouyou knew it wasn’t only because he was missing him. Kouyou knew it was something Yuu would never admit no matter how hurt he was. For a reason Kouyou ignored, Yuu had always been protecting his father in the hospital, he had always denied that the man had abused him and had always said he had raised him like a father would do. But since Yuu was far away from his father's grasp now, maybe things were going to change. Maybe Yuu would tell him the truth in a near future. However, Kouyou couldn't put his hand in the fire. He had known Yuu as a fragile and scared teenager, what kind of young man was he going to meet in a few days?
Sighing deeply, Kouyou took his eyes off the snowmen abandoned by the children since long, and went back to his study with no will to finish his work. He wasn’t going to have a good night’s sleep.
That’s what you get when you daydream the whole day dumbass.
~~~~~~
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