My wife is hot.

Of course, the HIGHLIGHT of the fucking day was THAT FUCKING INSUFFERABLE LITTLE PRICK WITH THE STUPID-LOOKING EYEWEAR who fucked up the fucking gates in the FIRST place (anyone who comments on the eyewear thing will be smote) rallying the fucking dwarves. It was horrifying, like a fucking tidal wave of short hairy things waving plastic axes with ( Read more... )

Fuck these gates backwards with a spoon. I've called for a wrecking ball. We're knocking the fuckers down. Aulë is going to help us rebuild them, which means the job should only take about five minutes. The Halls will be TOTALLY LOCKED DOWN during the destruction and reconstruction, so none of you dead bastards get any dumb ideas ( Read more... )

Sauron, Mandos has a problem that indirectly involves you.

Let me know the next time you see one of these lackeys, would you?

We've been using temporary forms for the past few days to get rid of the most high-profile cases as quickly as possible (or as quickly as the Star Trek marathon allows, in some cases), but now, after a few rewrites and several meetings with a dangerously lucid Manwë, we've released the final, streamlined replacement for the sheafs of paperwork ( Read more... )

Ah, fuck. Not these two again. I'll be listening to those goddamn marbles rolling around their Hungry Hungry Hippos set for the next howeverfuckinglongittakes. And now they're bouncing around the lobby on a sugar high, bitching about a cartoon duck. Oy.

Mandos needs a new system. Manwë set up the one we use now, and I'm pretty damned sure he ( Read more... )

This is not my fault.

He threatened the security guard with... never mind, we won't get into that.

This is what happen when you take shortcuts in checking out of the Halls.

And to those thinking about just "slipping out": this could be you.

It's just a little paperwork, people!

Suffer the procedure, or get stuck in an old woman's body/fry your brain. It's your choice.

Wave D. The final expurgation. Thanks to all this shit, my wife is a Vala on the edge. As soon as we get rid of the last of you, we're going to finish the vacation that this fucker cut short. Jeff is rocking back and forth in a corner, muttering to himself. I think the 20,000,000 rounds of Hungry, Hungry Hippos finally got to him. We'll have ( Read more... )

Here we go, Wave C, go get drunk with the rest of the living ( Read more... )