Forever & Ever 21
Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20
Tomoi as he was known in the Visual Kei world was as peculiar as one could get. He lived his life surrounded by the most strange and backward outcasts there were and amongst them, he fit right in. He was really only good at two things: playing the drums and drinking copious amounts alcohol. Because he was so bizarre, so off the beaten track, the chubby guy who loved to “beat the bongos” as he would commonly say, was naturally drawn to the world of musically inclined misfit Japanese transvestites i.e. Visual Kei.
He wasn’t necessarily the most sought after drummer despite his obvious skill, mainly because he did not fit whatsoever with the scene’s standard of beauty. For one, he had a perfectly round beer belly. For two, he had a face that not even the most talented of Lolita makeup artists could fix. For three, he sometimes forgot to shave and was often too drunk to be handling a razor without slicing his throat.
When the four of them went to meet him at his apartment building, Aoi tried to warn them. “Just give him a chance. I hear he’s good.” They nodded and just went inside.
“The fucking door is open,” Tomoi shouted from inside when he heard their knocking at the door. The four of them exchanged glances before Ruki reached out and turned the handle. He slowly opened it.
“Sorry guys,” Aoi whispered to them before they all stepped into Tomoi’s apartment-or what they could see of it since most of it was covered in garbage and other random things. There were tons of beer bottles and cans all over the place, a special pile of old pornography magazines, two drums sets, a massive television, and several bookcases that held at least 200 films.
Tomoi was on the floor, lying on his futon, drinking a beer. He was wearing nothing but a pair of ratty old straight-legged jeans and eyeliner (he was practicing his application earlier). His round belly looked like an inflated human balloon. “Oh yeah, what’s up,” he said raising his bottle as he greeted them. The four of them nodded as their eyes ran along his apartment. Seeing Ruki’s eyes on the massive video rack, Tomoi explained “I love collecting horror movies. Not a single one of those is not a horror movie-well maybe the porn and Titanic but I love Titanic, it’s my favorite. Unexpected eh?” he laughed.
“I like that movie too,” Uruha suddenly chimed in.
Aoi turned and stared at him. “Seriously?” he asked incredulously.
“It takes a real man to admit that he likes Titanic,” Tomoi saluted him with his beer.
Reita started laughing. At first it was a slight chuckle and then it grew and grew until he was almost on the floor. He held his stomach and heaved.
“Moving on,” Ruki said ignoring him. “We’re here to hear you play. I’m Ruki the vocalist. The one laughing is Reita. He plays the bass and the other two are Aoi and Uruha. They play guitar. I’m sure you’ve met Aoi?”
“Yup,” Tomoi replied with a hiccup.
Ruki turned and glared at Aoi, telling him with a cutting look that he was an idiot for suggesting this guy. Aoi smiled apologetically.
“Sure thing,” Tomoi rolled over and onto his knees and then crawling to his feet, dragged himself over to one of the drum sets. “I’m assuming y’all like X.” Of course, the four of them nodded. “I fucking love Yoshiki. If I could, I would take him as my manbride. He certainly can rock out a wedding dress like he can a drum,” he chuckled.
“Manbride,” Aoi repeated in a low voice to himself. He suppressed his oncoming laughter. “I’m going to call you that,” he whispered to Uruha.
“But we aren’t getting married,” Uruha said in his regular volume.
The others turned and looked at them. “Is the pretty one retarded?” Tomoi asked. In his defense, he was drunk.
“No,” Ruki answered flatly. “Please play,” he said trying to get things running. For a second, he wished Kai was there. He always took charge and kept things moving when the others goofed around but then immediately remembering the purpose to why they were there, a sense of disappointment crept up inside of him.
“Alright, Napoleon,” he teased. “How about the song Blue Blood?”
“Okay,” Ruki nodded as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
Taking a final swig of his beer, he shook his head and picking up his drumsticks started to play flawlessly.
“He’s good,” Aoi said stating the obvious.
“He is,” Reita agreed.
Without an ounce of conceit, after he finished the song, Tomoi noted “Well, I can play anything I hear at least 2 or 3 times.”
“Who are your favorite drummers?” Ruki asked as if he were literally interviewing him for a job.
“I love Yoshiki, Shinya Yamada-the Shinya from Dir en grey is pretty good too,” he folded his arms. “D’erlanger’s Tetsu, John Bonham, Lars Ulrich to name a few.”
“You kinda remind me of John Bonham,” Aoi chuckled.
“Because he’s an alcoholic?” Ruki blurted.
Instead of taking his comment as rude, Tomoi laughed. “HA! Nice! Well, I love to drink, I love rock n’ roll and I love to drum.”
“I like all those things too,” Uruha nodded with a smile. “Except for I play guitar instead of drums,” he laughed.
“And you like Titanic!” Tomoi raised his fist like a Power Ranger. “We’re like twins man.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t go that far,” Aoi chuckled.
“Oh because he’s an ethereal beauty?” The round bellied drummer chuckled. “Must be nice. I bet you get all the chicks, being rocker and having a face like that.”
“Well, no actually,” Uruha looked down and tried to figure out why he didn’t get more women.
“Quick question,’ he pointed his drumstick at him. “What goes best with tequila?”
“More tequila,” Uruha laughed.
“WAHAHAHAH,” Tomoi threw himself back and started laughing hysterically. “I was going to say a nice sexy Mexican woman but I can’t disagree with that.”
Huffing, Ruki folded his arms and looked at Reita.
“Hey, open mind,” Rei whispered to him.
“My brain doesn’t have enough empty space to fit him in,” he retorted under his breath.
Uruha however, took a liking to him and taking a seat near the other drum set, acted as if they were going to be there awhile. Sounding a bit bimbo-like, he asked Tomoi “Have you ever been with a Mexican woman before?”
“Nah,” he laughed. “But hey, I hear they like really masculine men. I think I fit that description?” he asked sarcastically.
“I doubt he’s been with any woman,” Ruki whispered meanly to Reita.
“Gossip Queen,” Reita whispered back with a smile.
“I wonder how you say I love you in Mexican?” Tomoi said getting up and grabbing another beer from a tiny fridge he had placed in the living room out of sheer laziness.
“There is no such thing as Mexican. They speak Spanish,” Ruki pointed out, sounding like an uptight smart ass.
“Oh,” he nodded as if it were no big deal. “Man, we should go to Mexico,” he said absently as he opened his beer. “Let’s go to Mexico,” he said to Uruha.
“Let’s go,” he laughed.
“Drink tequila.”
“Hit on Mexican women,” Uruha added jokingly, coming off more like a dork than anything else.
“Are you, now?” Aoi folded his arms and laughed.
“Just hit on…okay…no, stare at from a far,” he smiled.
“Um…” Tomoi looked at the two of them suspiciously. “Dude…uh…no offense…but are you two like…”
“Yeah, we’re together,” Aoi said.
Reita and Ruki looked at them surprised. “Since when?” Ruki asked.
“Since…yesterday or the day before?”
“Finally,” Reita laughed. “All your gay tension is uncomfortable.”
“Yeah because you and Ruki…no gay tension there at all,” Aoi replied sarcastically.
“Quit getting off the point,” Ruki sighed agitated.
“Right,” Tomoi agreed. “Back to Mexican chicks.”
Ruki narrowed his eyes at him. “The point is whether or not you are a good fit for us.”
“I like him,” Uruha said raising his hand.
“We’re not discussing it right now,” Ruki folded his arms.
“But I thought you just said that it was the point…”
“What’s your vision on music?” he asked ignoring Uruha. The other three, the ones that were in the band stood there a bit uncomfortable. What was their vision on music? They probably couldn’t answer that question either.
Tomoi was at a loss for words. “Um…well…music is awesome. I love music.”
“That’s not a vision.”
“What’s your vision then?” he challenged him.
“Not the point right now.”
“Look,” Aoi cut in. “He can fucking play. That’s why we came right? He likes Visual Kei. He likes X Japan and Luna Sea. I think we’re done here.”
“You’re all welcomed to chill. I was just about to watch all my Vincent Price films. I want to have that man’s mixbreed babies,” Tomoi said downing the rest of his beer.
“Okay. Nice meeting you Tomoi,” Reita waved.
“Bye,” Ruki replied flatly before quickly turning around sharply with his arms still folded.
“I wouldn’t mind watching them,” Uruha said.
“Um…you’re coming,” Aoi walked over to him and grabbed his arm.
“Why?” he asked innocently.
“We’re going to have lots of beautiful hot gay sex, that’s why.”
“You better not be lying,” Uruha said in complete honesty as he stood up. And just as Aoi dragged him across the room and to the door, he shouted “Bye Tomoi! See you later!”
“See ya, Uruha or whatever your name was!”
Outside of his door, the four of them stood there in silence.
“Well, I think he is great drummer,” Uruha said.
“Let’s vote,” Reita suggested. “Yay or nay?”
“Yay,” Uruha said.
Without waiting another second, Reita unexpectedly added “Yay.”
Ruki glared at him. “Nay,” he spat out.
“Fuck,” Aoi rested his hands on his waist. “You’re not going to find many people that can play that well…” he sighed.
“If you say Yay I will never forgive you,” Ruki folded his arms and pouted, pissed off.
“Fine…nay.”
“That’s a tie,” Uruha said.
“Personally, I think that all four of us have to be happy with whoever we put in the band.” Ruki seemed extremely angry, so much so that the other three just stood there quietly. “Alright, Let’s go.”
***
Several weeks later, with his long wooden drumsticks in hand, resting on his shoulders like two short swords, Kai stared at the posters pasted up on the hallway wall of the Silver Wolf, a hip underground venue that catered to lovers of Visual Kei, punk rock, hardcore and metal. Lie:Death was scheduled to play there that night. They were the main event and they were nearly sold out.
Kai should have been pleased, elated even but no matter how much he tried to pump himself up, that one little tiny white poster glued to that chaotic, messy wall glared at him as if it were an eyesore; it’s pure white presence, the messy katakana scribbled across it became an obsession to him even, a monomania. No matter how much he tried to look away, to tear himself from that dreadful wall with that tiny white poster that seemingly camouflaged with all the other posters, he just couldn’t.
Right in the middle of that poster it read: Gazette.
How could he forget that name? Several days ago, Ruki had told them that after searching for two to three weeks, they finally came upon a drummer, a guy named Rey and that with him, they were ready to begin their activities under the name Gazette. They had a couple of songs already and a band that Reita was pretty well acquainted with offered them the opportunity to open for them.
“There was only about 10 people there,” Ruki had said over the phone, telling him about their first live performance. “It was kinda sad.” He had laughed on the other side of the phone. “But hey, we had a blast. I’ve never had that much fun in my life.”
An acquaintance of Kai’s who had worked at the venue the night Gazette held their first performance said that they were a bit messy but overall for a new band, they acted as if they could take on the world not to mention, they had a chemistry about them that was unforgettable. When Kai had told him that 4 of the members were old friends he nodded and said Ah as if it were obvious from watching them. He deliberately failed to mention however, that he was one of these “old friends” for fear that he would ask him why they were in a band without him.
Now, he was looking up at their promotional poster, a thin standard sheet of paper that merely read their name and the time and date for their performance next week at the Silver Wolf, opening for a moderately known band. He knew he shouldn’t let it get to him but he couldn’t help it. He felt a strange sense of jealousy and anger. But why anger? Why should he be mad at them? He knew that they wanted him in the band but were afraid of asking him to join-hell, he was afraid that they would ask him. If they had, he would have to make a choice. But at the same time, he was upset that they would decide to be in a band together knowing that he wouldn’t join them. He knew that it was selfish of him to have these thoughts and as soon as they crept up into his mind, he smothered them.
He should be happy for them. Right now, he should be happy that his friends finally could start their band activities and that Lie:Death was going to be playing to a packed house but he just couldn’t. He stood there staring up at that damn little poster, clutching tightly at his drumsticks.
“We are having the pre-show talk right now,” Yukio said, finally finding him in the hallway. He had been looking for him everywhere.
“Huh?” Kai turned and glanced at him. He was so absorbed in what he was thinking that he hardly heard what he had said to him.
“Our talk. It’s right now.” Yukio always had a way about him that seemed as if he was above the situation. Not that he had an air of conceit about him rather that he was so calm, collected and in control, that he never seemed whatsoever stressed or bothered by anything. He never seemed excited or nervous. At first, Kai admired this quality about him. Now, it irritated him beyond all belief. To him, he appeared dry, dispassionate and overly mature to the point of lacking any sense of vivacity. In his presence, Kai felt completely uninspired. For someone who was the epitome of pure energy and liveliness, being with Yukio was like riding a motorcycle into a big, impressive brick wall.
“Coming,” he replied curtly, his eyes still glued to that little poster.
Just as he was about to turn and follow Yukio into the backstage room, his cell phone rang; its cute little polyphonic jingle emanating off the paper clad and graffitied walls. Pulling out of his pocket he looked down at the number. Even though he didn’t recognize it, he answered it anyway. “Hello?”
“Hey,” Ruki said.
“Oh, it’s you,” Kai forced a laugh. He wanted to be in good humor. He didn’t want any of his negative feelings to become apparent.
“Sorry, I should have told you but Fuwa got me a cell phone. He’s so protective.” Kai could tell by the background noise that he was outside.
“That’s sweet,” Kai said taking a deep breath.
“I know. I just wanted to call and let you know that me and Reita are going to your show tonight.”
“Aoi and Uruha didn’t want to come?” he laughed. In truth, he wanted to ask why they decided to even go.
“I called them but they didn’t answer. I’m assuming that ever since Aoi moved in with him that they are either playing guitar or with each other,” Ruki chuckled finding himself amusing. “Me and Reita aren’t traveling together so he might get there before me. I’m about 15 minutes away right now but I probably won’t even see you until after the show.”
“I’ll make sure they’ll let you into the back.”
“Thanks. Well, I look forward to seeing you,” he said cutely. “Buhbye.”
“Bye,” Kai hung up. Taking a deep breath, he glanced up at the poster once more. He knew that if he merely entertained the idea of leaving Lie:Death and joining them, that it could potentially be a stupid and selfish act on his part. His band right now was promising and despite the fact that he thought he was the weakest member, it was imperative to a band’s success to maintain a consistent line up and his departure could disrupt their rising popularity not to mention, it would take them awhile to find a replacement.
But deep down, the thing that caused him the most pain was the fact that he knew with Lie:Death, he could be successful, famous even. It was almost certain that they were going to get signed soon. There was already talk swirling around about how good and flawless they were and Kai knew that if he left them, he could be potentially throwing away his one opportunity at success. He hated to admit that that was his true reasoning for not joining his friends. He was ashamed of his shallow desires and this shame only increased the bitter and nasty feelings that whirled inside of him when he looked up at that tiny white poster.
He was so caught up in his feelings and his thoughts that his grip on his drumsticks loosened and two of them fell to the floor. The sound they made was naturally sweet, their dense wooden bodies making a silver like patter wherever they fell but inside that narrow hallway with its tall ceiling, the sound of their dropping to the floor echoed out and grated at Kai’s nerves like the sound of nails on chalkboard.
He watched them roll across the floor before finding the energy to pick them up and go where he was expected.
[A/N Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I did warn you, yes? Well, last night was the last performance for our show but today I am doing the light board for another performance so I'll be gone for 11-12 hours. Yikes. Not to beat a dead horse (I hate that expression), but I 've been really busy-too busy to reply to any of the comments and to really get some writing done. I will reply soon though and for all of you people who I said I would read your fics, I will! I haven't forgotten, I'm just really busy way more than I usually am. Please forgive me~~
I will be posting not tomorrow but they day after btw]
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20
Tomoi as he was known in the Visual Kei world was as peculiar as one could get. He lived his life surrounded by the most strange and backward outcasts there were and amongst them, he fit right in. He was really only good at two things: playing the drums and drinking copious amounts alcohol. Because he was so bizarre, so off the beaten track, the chubby guy who loved to “beat the bongos” as he would commonly say, was naturally drawn to the world of musically inclined misfit Japanese transvestites i.e. Visual Kei.
He wasn’t necessarily the most sought after drummer despite his obvious skill, mainly because he did not fit whatsoever with the scene’s standard of beauty. For one, he had a perfectly round beer belly. For two, he had a face that not even the most talented of Lolita makeup artists could fix. For three, he sometimes forgot to shave and was often too drunk to be handling a razor without slicing his throat.
When the four of them went to meet him at his apartment building, Aoi tried to warn them. “Just give him a chance. I hear he’s good.” They nodded and just went inside.
“The fucking door is open,” Tomoi shouted from inside when he heard their knocking at the door. The four of them exchanged glances before Ruki reached out and turned the handle. He slowly opened it.
“Sorry guys,” Aoi whispered to them before they all stepped into Tomoi’s apartment-or what they could see of it since most of it was covered in garbage and other random things. There were tons of beer bottles and cans all over the place, a special pile of old pornography magazines, two drums sets, a massive television, and several bookcases that held at least 200 films.
Tomoi was on the floor, lying on his futon, drinking a beer. He was wearing nothing but a pair of ratty old straight-legged jeans and eyeliner (he was practicing his application earlier). His round belly looked like an inflated human balloon. “Oh yeah, what’s up,” he said raising his bottle as he greeted them. The four of them nodded as their eyes ran along his apartment. Seeing Ruki’s eyes on the massive video rack, Tomoi explained “I love collecting horror movies. Not a single one of those is not a horror movie-well maybe the porn and Titanic but I love Titanic, it’s my favorite. Unexpected eh?” he laughed.
“I like that movie too,” Uruha suddenly chimed in.
Aoi turned and stared at him. “Seriously?” he asked incredulously.
“It takes a real man to admit that he likes Titanic,” Tomoi saluted him with his beer.
Reita started laughing. At first it was a slight chuckle and then it grew and grew until he was almost on the floor. He held his stomach and heaved.
“Moving on,” Ruki said ignoring him. “We’re here to hear you play. I’m Ruki the vocalist. The one laughing is Reita. He plays the bass and the other two are Aoi and Uruha. They play guitar. I’m sure you’ve met Aoi?”
“Yup,” Tomoi replied with a hiccup.
Ruki turned and glared at Aoi, telling him with a cutting look that he was an idiot for suggesting this guy. Aoi smiled apologetically.
“Sure thing,” Tomoi rolled over and onto his knees and then crawling to his feet, dragged himself over to one of the drum sets. “I’m assuming y’all like X.” Of course, the four of them nodded. “I fucking love Yoshiki. If I could, I would take him as my manbride. He certainly can rock out a wedding dress like he can a drum,” he chuckled.
“Manbride,” Aoi repeated in a low voice to himself. He suppressed his oncoming laughter. “I’m going to call you that,” he whispered to Uruha.
“But we aren’t getting married,” Uruha said in his regular volume.
The others turned and looked at them. “Is the pretty one retarded?” Tomoi asked. In his defense, he was drunk.
“No,” Ruki answered flatly. “Please play,” he said trying to get things running. For a second, he wished Kai was there. He always took charge and kept things moving when the others goofed around but then immediately remembering the purpose to why they were there, a sense of disappointment crept up inside of him.
“Alright, Napoleon,” he teased. “How about the song Blue Blood?”
“Okay,” Ruki nodded as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
Taking a final swig of his beer, he shook his head and picking up his drumsticks started to play flawlessly.
“He’s good,” Aoi said stating the obvious.
“He is,” Reita agreed.
Without an ounce of conceit, after he finished the song, Tomoi noted “Well, I can play anything I hear at least 2 or 3 times.”
“Who are your favorite drummers?” Ruki asked as if he were literally interviewing him for a job.
“I love Yoshiki, Shinya Yamada-the Shinya from Dir en grey is pretty good too,” he folded his arms. “D’erlanger’s Tetsu, John Bonham, Lars Ulrich to name a few.”
“You kinda remind me of John Bonham,” Aoi chuckled.
“Because he’s an alcoholic?” Ruki blurted.
Instead of taking his comment as rude, Tomoi laughed. “HA! Nice! Well, I love to drink, I love rock n’ roll and I love to drum.”
“I like all those things too,” Uruha nodded with a smile. “Except for I play guitar instead of drums,” he laughed.
“And you like Titanic!” Tomoi raised his fist like a Power Ranger. “We’re like twins man.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t go that far,” Aoi chuckled.
“Oh because he’s an ethereal beauty?” The round bellied drummer chuckled. “Must be nice. I bet you get all the chicks, being rocker and having a face like that.”
“Well, no actually,” Uruha looked down and tried to figure out why he didn’t get more women.
“Quick question,’ he pointed his drumstick at him. “What goes best with tequila?”
“More tequila,” Uruha laughed.
“WAHAHAHAH,” Tomoi threw himself back and started laughing hysterically. “I was going to say a nice sexy Mexican woman but I can’t disagree with that.”
Huffing, Ruki folded his arms and looked at Reita.
“Hey, open mind,” Rei whispered to him.
“My brain doesn’t have enough empty space to fit him in,” he retorted under his breath.
Uruha however, took a liking to him and taking a seat near the other drum set, acted as if they were going to be there awhile. Sounding a bit bimbo-like, he asked Tomoi “Have you ever been with a Mexican woman before?”
“Nah,” he laughed. “But hey, I hear they like really masculine men. I think I fit that description?” he asked sarcastically.
“I doubt he’s been with any woman,” Ruki whispered meanly to Reita.
“Gossip Queen,” Reita whispered back with a smile.
“I wonder how you say I love you in Mexican?” Tomoi said getting up and grabbing another beer from a tiny fridge he had placed in the living room out of sheer laziness.
“There is no such thing as Mexican. They speak Spanish,” Ruki pointed out, sounding like an uptight smart ass.
“Oh,” he nodded as if it were no big deal. “Man, we should go to Mexico,” he said absently as he opened his beer. “Let’s go to Mexico,” he said to Uruha.
“Let’s go,” he laughed.
“Drink tequila.”
“Hit on Mexican women,” Uruha added jokingly, coming off more like a dork than anything else.
“Are you, now?” Aoi folded his arms and laughed.
“Just hit on…okay…no, stare at from a far,” he smiled.
“Um…” Tomoi looked at the two of them suspiciously. “Dude…uh…no offense…but are you two like…”
“Yeah, we’re together,” Aoi said.
Reita and Ruki looked at them surprised. “Since when?” Ruki asked.
“Since…yesterday or the day before?”
“Finally,” Reita laughed. “All your gay tension is uncomfortable.”
“Yeah because you and Ruki…no gay tension there at all,” Aoi replied sarcastically.
“Quit getting off the point,” Ruki sighed agitated.
“Right,” Tomoi agreed. “Back to Mexican chicks.”
Ruki narrowed his eyes at him. “The point is whether or not you are a good fit for us.”
“I like him,” Uruha said raising his hand.
“We’re not discussing it right now,” Ruki folded his arms.
“But I thought you just said that it was the point…”
“What’s your vision on music?” he asked ignoring Uruha. The other three, the ones that were in the band stood there a bit uncomfortable. What was their vision on music? They probably couldn’t answer that question either.
Tomoi was at a loss for words. “Um…well…music is awesome. I love music.”
“That’s not a vision.”
“What’s your vision then?” he challenged him.
“Not the point right now.”
“Look,” Aoi cut in. “He can fucking play. That’s why we came right? He likes Visual Kei. He likes X Japan and Luna Sea. I think we’re done here.”
“You’re all welcomed to chill. I was just about to watch all my Vincent Price films. I want to have that man’s mixbreed babies,” Tomoi said downing the rest of his beer.
“Okay. Nice meeting you Tomoi,” Reita waved.
“Bye,” Ruki replied flatly before quickly turning around sharply with his arms still folded.
“I wouldn’t mind watching them,” Uruha said.
“Um…you’re coming,” Aoi walked over to him and grabbed his arm.
“Why?” he asked innocently.
“We’re going to have lots of beautiful hot gay sex, that’s why.”
“You better not be lying,” Uruha said in complete honesty as he stood up. And just as Aoi dragged him across the room and to the door, he shouted “Bye Tomoi! See you later!”
“See ya, Uruha or whatever your name was!”
Outside of his door, the four of them stood there in silence.
“Well, I think he is great drummer,” Uruha said.
“Let’s vote,” Reita suggested. “Yay or nay?”
“Yay,” Uruha said.
Without waiting another second, Reita unexpectedly added “Yay.”
Ruki glared at him. “Nay,” he spat out.
“Fuck,” Aoi rested his hands on his waist. “You’re not going to find many people that can play that well…” he sighed.
“If you say Yay I will never forgive you,” Ruki folded his arms and pouted, pissed off.
“Fine…nay.”
“That’s a tie,” Uruha said.
“Personally, I think that all four of us have to be happy with whoever we put in the band.” Ruki seemed extremely angry, so much so that the other three just stood there quietly. “Alright, Let’s go.”
***
Several weeks later, with his long wooden drumsticks in hand, resting on his shoulders like two short swords, Kai stared at the posters pasted up on the hallway wall of the Silver Wolf, a hip underground venue that catered to lovers of Visual Kei, punk rock, hardcore and metal. Lie:Death was scheduled to play there that night. They were the main event and they were nearly sold out.
Kai should have been pleased, elated even but no matter how much he tried to pump himself up, that one little tiny white poster glued to that chaotic, messy wall glared at him as if it were an eyesore; it’s pure white presence, the messy katakana scribbled across it became an obsession to him even, a monomania. No matter how much he tried to look away, to tear himself from that dreadful wall with that tiny white poster that seemingly camouflaged with all the other posters, he just couldn’t.
Right in the middle of that poster it read: Gazette.
How could he forget that name? Several days ago, Ruki had told them that after searching for two to three weeks, they finally came upon a drummer, a guy named Rey and that with him, they were ready to begin their activities under the name Gazette. They had a couple of songs already and a band that Reita was pretty well acquainted with offered them the opportunity to open for them.
“There was only about 10 people there,” Ruki had said over the phone, telling him about their first live performance. “It was kinda sad.” He had laughed on the other side of the phone. “But hey, we had a blast. I’ve never had that much fun in my life.”
An acquaintance of Kai’s who had worked at the venue the night Gazette held their first performance said that they were a bit messy but overall for a new band, they acted as if they could take on the world not to mention, they had a chemistry about them that was unforgettable. When Kai had told him that 4 of the members were old friends he nodded and said Ah as if it were obvious from watching them. He deliberately failed to mention however, that he was one of these “old friends” for fear that he would ask him why they were in a band without him.
Now, he was looking up at their promotional poster, a thin standard sheet of paper that merely read their name and the time and date for their performance next week at the Silver Wolf, opening for a moderately known band. He knew he shouldn’t let it get to him but he couldn’t help it. He felt a strange sense of jealousy and anger. But why anger? Why should he be mad at them? He knew that they wanted him in the band but were afraid of asking him to join-hell, he was afraid that they would ask him. If they had, he would have to make a choice. But at the same time, he was upset that they would decide to be in a band together knowing that he wouldn’t join them. He knew that it was selfish of him to have these thoughts and as soon as they crept up into his mind, he smothered them.
He should be happy for them. Right now, he should be happy that his friends finally could start their band activities and that Lie:Death was going to be playing to a packed house but he just couldn’t. He stood there staring up at that damn little poster, clutching tightly at his drumsticks.
“We are having the pre-show talk right now,” Yukio said, finally finding him in the hallway. He had been looking for him everywhere.
“Huh?” Kai turned and glanced at him. He was so absorbed in what he was thinking that he hardly heard what he had said to him.
“Our talk. It’s right now.” Yukio always had a way about him that seemed as if he was above the situation. Not that he had an air of conceit about him rather that he was so calm, collected and in control, that he never seemed whatsoever stressed or bothered by anything. He never seemed excited or nervous. At first, Kai admired this quality about him. Now, it irritated him beyond all belief. To him, he appeared dry, dispassionate and overly mature to the point of lacking any sense of vivacity. In his presence, Kai felt completely uninspired. For someone who was the epitome of pure energy and liveliness, being with Yukio was like riding a motorcycle into a big, impressive brick wall.
“Coming,” he replied curtly, his eyes still glued to that little poster.
Just as he was about to turn and follow Yukio into the backstage room, his cell phone rang; its cute little polyphonic jingle emanating off the paper clad and graffitied walls. Pulling out of his pocket he looked down at the number. Even though he didn’t recognize it, he answered it anyway. “Hello?”
“Hey,” Ruki said.
“Oh, it’s you,” Kai forced a laugh. He wanted to be in good humor. He didn’t want any of his negative feelings to become apparent.
“Sorry, I should have told you but Fuwa got me a cell phone. He’s so protective.” Kai could tell by the background noise that he was outside.
“That’s sweet,” Kai said taking a deep breath.
“I know. I just wanted to call and let you know that me and Reita are going to your show tonight.”
“Aoi and Uruha didn’t want to come?” he laughed. In truth, he wanted to ask why they decided to even go.
“I called them but they didn’t answer. I’m assuming that ever since Aoi moved in with him that they are either playing guitar or with each other,” Ruki chuckled finding himself amusing. “Me and Reita aren’t traveling together so he might get there before me. I’m about 15 minutes away right now but I probably won’t even see you until after the show.”
“I’ll make sure they’ll let you into the back.”
“Thanks. Well, I look forward to seeing you,” he said cutely. “Buhbye.”
“Bye,” Kai hung up. Taking a deep breath, he glanced up at the poster once more. He knew that if he merely entertained the idea of leaving Lie:Death and joining them, that it could potentially be a stupid and selfish act on his part. His band right now was promising and despite the fact that he thought he was the weakest member, it was imperative to a band’s success to maintain a consistent line up and his departure could disrupt their rising popularity not to mention, it would take them awhile to find a replacement.
But deep down, the thing that caused him the most pain was the fact that he knew with Lie:Death, he could be successful, famous even. It was almost certain that they were going to get signed soon. There was already talk swirling around about how good and flawless they were and Kai knew that if he left them, he could be potentially throwing away his one opportunity at success. He hated to admit that that was his true reasoning for not joining his friends. He was ashamed of his shallow desires and this shame only increased the bitter and nasty feelings that whirled inside of him when he looked up at that tiny white poster.
He was so caught up in his feelings and his thoughts that his grip on his drumsticks loosened and two of them fell to the floor. The sound they made was naturally sweet, their dense wooden bodies making a silver like patter wherever they fell but inside that narrow hallway with its tall ceiling, the sound of their dropping to the floor echoed out and grated at Kai’s nerves like the sound of nails on chalkboard.
He watched them roll across the floor before finding the energy to pick them up and go where he was expected.
[A/N Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I did warn you, yes? Well, last night was the last performance for our show but today I am doing the light board for another performance so I'll be gone for 11-12 hours. Yikes. Not to beat a dead horse (I hate that expression), but I 've been really busy-too busy to reply to any of the comments and to really get some writing done. I will reply soon though and for all of you people who I said I would read your fics, I will! I haven't forgotten, I'm just really busy way more than I usually am. Please forgive me~~
I will be posting not tomorrow but they day after btw]