Iridescence Legacy ;; Generation 3.3
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1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6
2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5. 1/ 2
3.1 3.2
† download an iridescence †
When we last left the Iridescences, Hazard and Jeb laughed in the face of standard reproduction requirements and had their first child together, Envy. They are currently expecting their second. Meanwhile, Jeb's product of alien!rape, Vigor, continues to be perfect and basically makes me cry over standard legacy bloodline rules which I may just ignore in the end, lol. Oh yeah, and Energy died on her daughter's porch.
Speaking of, we start 3.3 with Energy rising from her grave to cause havoc amongst her house's current residents.
Energy: Death is boring, time to ruin some lives.
Jebidiah: WHAT THE EVER LIVING HELL...?!!
Energy: *cackling from the great beyond*
Jebidiah: Alright, no. This is flat out ridiculous. I got work to do, damnit! Why the hell aren't these graves in the graveyard like everyone else's dead ancestors??
Because legacy says no. Also because it amuses me.
When left to his own devices, all Vigor does is autonomously sing to that damn doll.
Vigor: ♫ And IIIIIIIiiiiIIIIII... will always love yooooOOOOuuuuUUUUUUU...!!! ♫
Fucking hell, kid. You need some real friends.
JFC, KRISTA. Has she always been part werewolf? lol, either I forgot or that's new, but GURL YOU SCARY AS HELL o.O
Anyway, after Hazard got out of jail, I made him run over to Summer's house to stalk Nawwaf, because I just had to see the child with the funny name, lol. He's got wings like his mom ^_^
Once Hazard got back home though, Jeb finally announced the big news!
Jebidiah: My lovemaster bunnymuffin! It's time to buy more adorably small sneakers, because there is a tiny fetus growing god only knows where since I don't have actually have a uterus. Are you pleased?
Hazard: BABIES?!!
Jebidiah: That's right pumpkin noodle, babies.
Hazard: FYEAH.
... No, but really, what's up with the thumbs up after a pregnancy announcement? Like, is it just like, GREAT JOB, A++ ON YOUR REPRODUCTION SKILLS, MATE :D Cause... lol. Seems a bit impersonal and a little sarcastic, idk xD
Envy: I don't wanna have to share a roooooooommmm!!!
The next day was Vigor's first day of school, which unfortunately seemed to be a big deal to Jeb seeing as he escorted him to the bus stop.
Jebidiah: Bye, honey! Make good choices! :D
Vigor: Dear god save me *proceeds to slump into seat*
Poor kid. Like he wasn't gonna have enough problems at school, what with being half-alien and all...
Later that very same day, Karim finally kicked the bucket. After he reached the top of his career he was basically just wasting space, so I was impatiently waiting for this to happen, lol.
Jebidiah: God damnit, why did you have to die on the couch? Do you know how much it's gonna cost to clean the death stench out of it now? -__-
Priorities: Jeb has them.
His grave isn't nearly as awesome as Energy's, but still trumps Passion and Hank's by a long shot, so there's that.
Jebidiah: OOP! I think it's time for a baby to fall out of my bum!
Really though, have any of you read any m/m pregnancy fics? Cause I haven't and I'm wondering how people explain this crap, lol
Another girl! Her name is Lucky and she rolled genius and good.
She's not nearly as cute as Envy, but def adorable in her own right.
Jeb is keeping it classy, as always.
Jebidiah: Shut up, having a baby works up quite the appetite!
Still doesn't explain why you're licking a plate, dude. But moving on...
I finally got the notification that Stardust wanted to be set on the ground. I immediately did so and...!
Vigor: How... how is this possible?
Stardust: It was your voice! Which is frighteningly akin to Whitney Houston's, if I might add. Did you steal it from her after she died?
Vigor: My... wait, huh?
Stardust: *sigh* Okay, I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. I hail from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius, which is actually the twin planet of your birth mother's, Clom. Since the dawn of time they have raided our home in search of slaves, and the sound of their voice awakens us into a full state so we can do their bidding. I assume your birth mother dropped me off for you, since this planet's technological advancements are laughable. So... with that said, how may I serve you?
Vigor: But I don't... I don't want a slave. That's creepy and weird; also way too much responsibility for a kid to have. Besides, I think my dads hired our butler for that kind of stuff, so we don't really need another one.
Bonus point if you guys know where I got those planet names btw, lol
Stardust: I see... *pouts*
Vigor: No, I mean-- it's not like I don't want you around or anything. You're like, my best friend. But... hey, I have an idea! One of my Dads messes around with science things, so maybe if I ask him, I could see if he could make you like me! He got my other dad pregnant after all, there's nothing he can't do when it comes to this sort of stuff.
Stardust: Like... you?
Vigor: Yeah, you know, flesh and blood. Not squishy and made of foam.
Stardust: Ohhh! Yeah, okay, that sounds agreeable. Maybe then I can finally get my own slave!
Vigor: You really have a very black and white view of the world, don't you?
Stardust: No, I see color perfectly fine. Probably even better than you.
Vigor: That's not what I... *sigh* Nevermind.
Meanwhile, Envy had been teaching her sister about cannibalism. It frightens me a little, tbh.
Jebidiah: Okay honey, say lightb--
Lucky: Lightbulb.
Jebidiah: ...Okay, that was a little--
Lucky: Creepy!
Jebidiah: OMG STAHP.
This child is more than a genius, she is clairvoyant lol.
Btw, I finally stalked Hope's first child. This is Alfredo, who seems to have about as much going on upstairs as his mother, lol.
THEIR HOUSE IS ORGASMIC THOUGH AND I'M SUPER JEALOUS. Whoever is the next heir is going to move, because this legacy needs a change of scenery.
Anyway, later that day, Vigor made good on his promise to Stardust.
Vigor: So, you see, I have this friend... and this friend has a special problem of the non-human variety. So can you make something that will turn her into a person? Oh and, btw, she's my imaginary friend. If that helps in the crafting department, idk.
Hazard: You, my beautiful elf-looking son, might be certifiable. But I'm a bad influence, so I shall feed into your delusion and give you some random concoction I had made just in case Gold ever wanted to turn back into a human. I'm sure it'll do the same thing. Or... you know, it might make the whole house explode, but whatever; we can always move.
Vigor: Thanks, dad! ... I think :/
Vigor: Here. If this kills us, it's my dad's fault. JSYK.
Stardust: Meh, idc. I can teleport, so at least I won't die if this goes wrong! *chugs potion*
Stardust: My spidey-senses are tingling...!
OH GOD. YOU, YOU, are freaking perfect, my dear. JFC. Anyway, now that she's human (sort of), her traits are good sense of humor, technophobe, and virtuoso.
Stardust: Thank you so much, lifelong BFF! :D
Vigor: You... err, you're welcome... (Oh god she's so pretty... what is this weird straining in my trousers? Is my alien half trying to communicate with hers? I don't understand!)
Ah, the beginning stages of puberty... making things awkward since the dawn of time.
The next day was Spooky Day, so I let the two of them run around in costume and steal ask for candy from the neighbors.
Hazard and Jeb took the girls to the fall festival, and yes, I do have a weird obsession with family picnics. Idk why xD
Oh yeah, and Hazard found a rat. Ugh.
Hazard: I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy.
Squishy said 'fuck that' after like an hour and GTFO. I was thankful, as I feel no need to deal with minor pets in this game, lol.
Stardust: OH GOD, THIS PIE. THIS PIE THOUGH. IT... IT... PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
It's the small things that make her freakishly happy, apparently.
Later that night they held a costume party, which got really ugly within like two minutes .
Gold: Why the fuck did you invite this pregnant whore?! All week she's been spreading around town that my vagina has cobwebs! Honestly, I should kill her where she stands, so if you don't want this nice carpet to be stained by her STD-ridden blood, I suggest you do something about her unseemly presence, Hazard! I WON'T STAND FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT.
Hope: Ooohhh, whatdaya gonna do, bitch? Bite me? Hahahahaa, I DARE YOU.
...And then my game crashed, lol. Apparently it didn't like all this drama.
At version two of the costume party, Gold put on this outfit instead, which apparently did not please her, lol. I laughed for quite a long time, seeing as I made her wear that before as a punishment.
Joy took an instant liking to Lucky, which was nice since I didn't even realize someone just dumped her in the backyard and left her there until this happened xD I pay so much attention.
Hazard: Hey, wanna stroke my wiener...?
Brenda: This is sexual harassment, sir.
Basically.
I literally laughed for SO LONG because of this. Dude moves like Michael Jackson xD
Deceit tried to teach Hazard some moves later that night, but Hazard basically just humped the air and pretended it constituted as dancing.
Hazard: I'm a top, that's why I'm so good at the hip thrust!
Deceit: o.O
This family, I swear.
At least the kids are perfect.
But, then again...
I could have spoken too soon xD
Envy: I hear them, they're whispering to me! The voices of my people, beckoning me back to the land down under!
Australia...?
Envy: No, you fool, Hell! Muahahaha. I am the physical incarnate of their God, Hades!
Great, that's just... great. I worry for you, dear.
Oh yeah, and she rolled grumpy. lol. Like she needed that on top of her insanity.
Envy: Did you just tell me to lighten up? EXCUSE YOU, MR. STEREO, BUT UNLESS YOU WANT A SWIFT KICK IN THE FACE, YOU'LL KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!
Everything is this girl's enemy, lol.
Stardust: You're like... *pulls a crazy face to demonstrate* You know that, right?
Envy: You're about to get a kick in the face too. Do you see this crown? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS? Gtfo, peasant.
Aha! I finally found Kris, Summer and Krista's third son. Who is being held by Scot, btw. His wings are dinky as fuck and it's really tempting to make distasteful small penis comparisons, lol. But I won't. Even though I just kind of did.
Meanwhile, upstairs, Vigor is being a complete dick to Nawwaf.
Vigor: You see all these badges? Do you know what they mean? They mean that I'm better than you :D
Nawwaf: You see this crown? That means I'll be having none of your shit. GOOD DAY, SIR.
Well, at least the kid can dish it back, lol.
YAY!
DOUBLE BIRTHDAY!
Omg. Oh my God.
Goddamnit, WHY ARE YOU NOT A BLOOD RELATION? This pains me so bad.
Anyway, Vigor rolled schmoozer and his LTW is to become an astronaut. Stardust rolled animal lover and her LTW is the fairytale finder. Basically appropriate all around.
Vigor promptly demonstrated that although he is now a fine piece of ass, he still has the maturity of an eleven year old. Lol, thanks for that.
And Stardust immediately picked up a guitar, since music is the language of her people or... whatever else. Idk, just go with it.
Meanwhile...
Envy: What do you mean 'I was talking trash about you'? Are you insane? You're my best friend, why the hell would I want to do that? GOD, YOU NEVER LISTEN.
Oh, btw, I think Brenda quit, lol. Probably something to do with the sexual harassment suit that's now pending against Hazard. Idk, all I know is that I only noticed she was MIA when nothing was getting cleaned lol. So, as a replacement, I had them hire Ernest. He is basically a stereotype and I adore him.
But moving on.
Hazard: Hey babe, I learned a new spell, wanna see? :D
Jebidiah: No, not really-- HAZARD, DON'T!
Jebidiah: *teeth chattering* God I hate you sometimes.
No you don't. You luuuurrve him. Maybe a bit too much for your own good, but hey.
Yay, another birthday!
Eh. Still nothing special, but at least you're not ugly lol. Lucky ended up rolling workaholic.
And now, I leave you with Envy demonstrating more of her crazy.
Envy: Fear not, my loyal subjects, for your leader has returned! And soon, soon I shall bring you to this world with me! Soon... muahahahahaha.
Yeah, btw, her LTW is Zombie Master, lol. Oy vey.
Alright, so on a final note, I've decided to let you guys choose whether or not I allow Vigor into the heir poll. While in the end this is my game, half the fun of legacies are having people read them, so I wanna know what you guys wanna see. He may not even win it when this is all said and done, but I wanted to give him the chance if you guys are interested. So vote! :D
[ POLL CLOSED, SEE NEXT ENTRY FOR RESULTS ]
The Legacy Continues Here...