Sawajiri Legacy ;; Generation 3.4
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1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5
2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5
3.1 3.2 3.3
It's been a few months since we last left the Sawajiri family, but never fear! I may have ADD, but I do manage to come back around to everything eventually. Last time, Hiroshi decided to grab the title of "douche of the century" and sent Freya packing, he began to fuck everything that had a vagina, Natsuki finally died, and the damn robot broke down from the stress of being the kids' only friend/parental figure.
Depressed over Mr. Roboto, Takao begins to study mechanical so he can one day fix his only friend.
Takao: What the heck is this "wrench" you speak of, book?
I don't see this dream going very far.
However, Hiroshi was determined to not completely suck as a father figure, so he attempted to fix Mr. Roboto himself.
Hiroshi: Don't worry, kid; I got this.
...
Hiroshi: I don't got this.
Hey, at least you tried.
After giving up on ever becoming his son's hero, Hiroshi went out to the bar to meet some girls... only to kick it with his Uncle Riku instead. He seemed a bit too pumped that his sister just croaked, if you ask me.
He found what he was looking for the next morning though. Yeah, number thirteen? I said a bang, bang, a bangity bang, I said a bang bang bangity bang! (if you don't get that reference, we can never be friends btw)
Midori it seems, was also on a quest for love. Or just a bang, I'm not quite sure.
Midori: Oh gosh, you are just the prettiest man to ever randomly walk past my street! It must be fate! ...Or the fact that Washington St. has been blocked off because of that suicide bomber and this is the only detour. Regardless!
Dave: Why thank you for the compliment, random stranger; I moisturize. I feel as though this is the secret to my glorious beauty, although it might also be because I sold my soul to the devil.
Midori: God, Jesus, Buddha... whoever's up there, I will sacrifice my first born if this guy doesn't turn out to be gay. Cause HFDJKDSHDHFK HOLY CHRIST.
I'll hold you to that. Don't be making frivolous promises, child.
...And then randomly Mr. Roboto worked, even though no one touched him. Awkward.
Takao was so excited over his friend being back that his balls dropped.
And he got HAWT.
Takao: I really am just the prettiest thing I ever did see.
He might have gotten a bit gay as well. It's always the pretty ones...
Oddly, he likes fatness and hates black hair like our legacy founder, Aiko.
Mr. Roboto: As flattered as I am by your attention, mini Sawajiri, I do believe you should try to make some friends who have an actual heartbeat.
Takao: But I don't know how. I'm sexy as all holy fuck, but still nobody cares. I thought being good looking and rich was all I would need in life, but it seems television lies. It's frustrating, because everyone should love me. They should!
Mr. Roboto: Oh for pete's sake. There's your problem, mini Sawajiri: you must stop sounding so entitled!
Takao: You may have a point, my shiny friend. Although I am entitled, perhaps I would be better off of I pretended like I wasn't. Yes! This is my new plan.
But enough about the kids, let's take a brief intermission to see the underage girl that Hiroshi took to bed as his number fourteen.
You dirty, dirty bastard.
And now, because I get bored easily, a roll!
I feel like this would be worse if my family weren't rich sons of bitches, but whatever.
Hiroshi: Oh shit, I think someone at the restaurant stole my keys! Maybe it was that near-child I had sex with! ...Crap, what was her name? Aw screw it I'll just get a locksm-- oh no.
Yeah, that's right; I just ruined your life. Fear me, I am your God.
Hiroshi: So, don't be mad, but we don't really have a way to get into the house since the locksmiths are on strike because of... reasons. So start pitching a tent, my darling daughter.
Midori: How do you even MANAGE? Do you just wake up every morning and try to outdo yourself in the "worst parent" category?! Because that's what it feels like!
Takao: Stop fighting; this stress is going to make me break out!
Hiroshi: I understand your annoyance, kids; but check this out: I ordered us pizza
Takao: Oh god, this will go straight to my hips!
But you don't want to starve either, do you? Shut up and eat your damn food.
Midori: Alright, I guess this isn't that bad. Comfortable hammock, a nice view...
Midori: Okay, nope; this sucks. GTFO, random dog! Can't you see I'm marking my territory?!
Hiroshi: Bahaha. Because I have a penis, I can pee in a bush. COUNT IT.
The hot springs has turned into a communal bath. I appreciate that Horioshi put on swim trunks for this, concidering he tends to go naked in community lots.
Man whore.
Aw, he became such an adorable little elder though!
These poor bastards. I had thought this would be a fairly simple roll - what with having a beautifully furnished property and everything - but the whole not having a bathroom thing seems to be fucking me (and them) sideways.
Takao: I can't believe that this is my life. I can't be super fabulous if I continue to piss myself like an infant!
Meanwhile, Midori was beginning to get frustrated by all the fail that surrounded her family. Taking her future in her own hands once more, she mustered up the courage to ask Dave on a date.
Midori: I know everyone thinks I'm super weird and probably a bit needy, but I feel an overwhelming need to find a mate - or even just a friend for the first time in my life - and it seems the rest of the world is content on being soulless, solitary, mean-spirited bastards. So from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for actually accepting my offer of a date.
Dave: Well, you had nice tits. And it seems you also moisturize! So I figured I could do worse.
Since Midori's standards are clearly not high, this apparently makes her fall deeply in love.
At least they'll make pretty babies.
Midori: I hope he doesn't realize I live on a lawn like a hobo! ...A rich hobo, to be sure; but a hobo no less!
Ugh.
Heatstroke, you suck.
Come on Hiroshi; you're supposed to be smoother than that. Getting caught is for amateurs.
If this isn't the gayest sim I've ever seen, rainbows are gonna fly out of my ass. Seriously though, SO PERFECT FOR TAKAO.
Takao: You are... the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on.
Takao: Do you perhaps think I'm just as fabulous....? Because you see, I'm humble and can't quite tell myself...
Tony: Oh hell yeah I think you're completely fab; come gimme some sugar you hot peice of ass!
The kids aren't the only one's getting some action though! Here's Hiroshi with his fifteenth conquest.
And his sixteenth.
Annnnd his seventeenth!
(which he feels the need to shout to the world)
Marie: Hey, I remember you. Did you perhaps lose your keys here?
Hiroshi: Oh my god, you're my savior! Yes, pretty blonde woman, I did! Christ, you have no idea what it'll mean to my kids to be able to sleep in a real bed again! Hell, what it'll mean to me to fuck in a real bed again!
Priorities; Hiroshi's got them.
Takao: Sweet mother of mercy this chair feels nice on my rump! Okay Dad, I guess we love you again.
Aww. Everything is solved by the comfortable lifestyle that being rich provides for them. Go figure.
NEXT TIME...
Will Hiroshi reach his LTW of screwing twenty women before he croaks? Probably. But stay turned to find out anyway!
Who do you want to lead generation four through the madness; Takao or Midori? The choice is yours!
[ Poll Closed - Results Will Be Revealed In The Next Post! ]