Forever & Ever 33
Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2
There was not a more fitting word than Chaos.
Chaos. Insanity. Confusion. Disorder. The seeds of Anarchy.
Cat Fuzz, a tall rather strange character with a booming voice and an obsession so great with clothing and accessories it’s intensity was only matched with just how terribly ugly and horrendous his taste in them was, walked into it without an ounce of panic. As soon as he entered the back of his rather well off club “Cerberus” the first impression the pack of musicians stuffed back there underwent was of his towering figure. After that, they let their eyes wander around him to find that he was by far the tackiest person they have ever encountered. He wore a pink bedazzled floppy hat, narrow square sunglasses with a white trim, a long basketball New York Knicks Jersey with a tiny leather jacket that reached only to the middle of his torso. For pants, he wore what looked like the exact pair that MC Hammer wore in his Can’t Touch This video and on his feet, he wore shiny tap dance shoes. If one were to examine all his individual accessories it would seem like jewelry drawer of an old British woman mixed with that of one of those 10 year old creative girls who handmade bracelets and necklaces from kits she bought at a drug store.
But perhaps one does fight fire with fire. Because if Cat Fuzz and the insanity of his clothing had anything to do with bringing order to the chaos of Cerberus’ backstage, he seemed to be the only person that could administer it.
“GOOOOOOOD EVENING,” he bellowed out in his big voice. If he didn’t own a successful venue, he probably would have made a living narrating commercials. “There are 4 specific rooms and y’all are going to have to share them, K?” When no one said anything, he shouted like a drill sergeant “K?!”
“HAI!” The musicians called out.
He let his gaze scan their faces and their costumes. It looked like a gathering of a cult of semi-homeless goth kids with hordes of make-up on their face. They stared back at him with wide, heavily madeup eyes of purple and black eyeliner. “I will split y’all up, K? 2 bands per room, K?”
“HAI!” A random person shouted. His outburst made everyone in the room feel awkward.
“K,” Cat Fuzz said uselessly almost like how a frog casually lets out a ribbit. “Alright…So…” he pulled out a sheet of paper from his back pocket and started reading from it, listing out the room number and which bands would be in it. The members of Gazette all looked around watching the reactions of the musicians whose band names were just called. As soon as they escaped Cat Fuzz’s lips, they went straight to work hulling their crap to their designated room. “Room 3, Gazette and Lie:Death.”
As soon as those words fell upon their ears, they immediately looked across the room to where Kai was sitting quietly behind Yukio. He seemingly refused to look up and repay their glance. It was almost as if he were being called out on something and he didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“We should get our things and head to Room 3,” Reita suggested, hurrying things along more for Kai’s sake than Gazette’s. He watched the side of Ruki’s face wondering what was going through the little imp’s mind recalling that along with his pledge to possess him, he had said that he would get Kai in their band no matter what.
Ruki was the last one to turn and grab his things. He stood there for awhile with his arms folded and his gaze locked in on Kai’s face. “Uhh…Ruki…” Reita said softly not trying to draw attention to it.
“Yeah?” Ruki turned and smiled at him.
“Don’t stare like that,” he whispered with urgency. “You are being obvious.”
Ruki giggled. “Am I?”
“God, you can be scary…”
As soon as the musicians had all made their way to their designated room, Yukio blankly if not a bit rudely said without even looking at them “Make sure to keep your things on that side.”
“Hey,” Uruha greeted Kai.
“Hey.” Kai forced a smile although everything about his body suggested nervousness. His arms were folded tightly and he kept tapping his foot. “So, that’s Rey,” he pointed to him with his chin.
Rey was as uninteresting as a Visual Kei musician could get. He was of medium height, of medium weight, with a medium amount of good looks and ugly looks that if he had the opportunity to garner some attention and made appearances in magazines, he’d just be that one member all their fans had difficulty recognizing. But to Rey’s credit, he was precise, orderly and even though he rarely spoke, his responses were always well timed and had a moderately comic effect that made his presence enjoyable. He was boring and bland though and that couldn’t be ignored. Especially by someone like Ruki who instead of shunning him for his dullness made a point to direct his ceaseless backstage chatter at him, knowing that Rey wouldn’t have the personality to tell him to shut up or to cut him off with a comment of his own.
“Mhm,” Uruha nodded and holding his hands behind his back, tried to think of something to say to Kai to make him feel at ease. “I brought some sake if you want to have a drink with me,” he smiled at him.
“Maybe after the show. I shouldn’t drink before I go on stage,” Kai stared at Rey as he applied white face paint.
Digging his toe into the cement flooring, Uruha nodded and said “Ok.”
“I’m surprised you aren’t over by Aoi,” Kai turned and directed his attention at his awkward friend.
“We got into a fight earlier…and now he is ignoring me…” Uruha hunching over, stared at the floor, his mind arrested somewhere between guitar phrases and thoughts about Aoi.
“A fight?” Uruha merely nodded in response. “What do you mean a fight?”
“It’s complicated…”
Kai sighed and looked down at the floor at Uruha’s foot as he moved it anxiously. “I’m having a bad day too…” he said comfortingly.
“Worse now because Lie:Death is sharing a room with Gazette too, right?”
“Right.”
On the other side of the room, Aoi sat there quietly tuning his guitar. Reita noticing that he was in a bad mood, sat down next to him and tried to crack a joke. Aoi looked up and smiled at him sadly.
“Dude, are you okay?” Reita asked mustering up all his goodwilled boyish charms.
“I’m alright,” he lied.
“Cool,” Reita nodded and scanned the room. “Those Lie:Death guys look really stern, don’t they?” he said quietly.
Brusquely, Aoi retorted “They have a stick up their ass.” He plucked the D string making sure it was in tune.
“I guess you can put it that way,” Reita laughed quietly. Rubbing his hands, he tried to think of something else to say. “Uruha looks really beautiful, doesn’t he?”
Finally looking up, Aoi raised his eyes to his fellow guitarist. He was dressed ready to go on stage. His hair was raised into two perky brown pig tails and he wore a pleather vest and skirt with tall mixed matched socks, one black and white striped and the other lacy. Between the bottom hem of his skirt and the socks, he revealed the upper part of his naked thighs. On his eyes, he wore plum eye shadow with thick black eyeliner. “Yeah…” Aoi said in a breathy sigh.
“Why aren’t you two talking?”
“No reason,” Aoi lied once again. The truth was that he was too afraid to talk to him. After he had left Uruha’s apartment, he just walked. For hours, he pounded payment, his mind racing at a million miles an hour, his emotions inside of him raging. But even within that span of time, he had reached no conclusions. He felt as if he were coming close to one at times only for something else inside of him to rise up and destroy it. In the end, he didn’t know what to think or what to feel. But even if this was the case, he had made the decision to not talk to Uruha.
“If you say so, dude…” Reita replied not convinced. But he knew better not to press with Aoi. One only incited anger if they did. “When we go out there, we are going to rock the shit out of the crowd,” he said changing the subject. Thinking now of the tournament, Reita jumped to his feet and started pacing nervously. “Right, Ruki?” he asked him, seeing him finally getting to his feet, finished with his make-up.
“Hm?” Ruki’s big eyes became wider. He had just finished painting his lips entirely in black and drawing lines around them as if they were stitched like a scare crow. He painted around his eyes black eyeshadow and drawing with eyeliner, wrote obscenities in crazy looking Kanji down his cute round cheek and across his throat. Around his neck, he wore a big colorful bow. Just as he got to his feet, Rey in a spurt of personality put some music on, popping in a cassette of Balzac’s.
“We are going to kill them!” Reita raised an empowered fist.
“HAI!” Ruki cutely saluted him.
“We are going to killllllll’mmmm~” Reita shook his head as if the words were too powerful for his mouth to contain.
“HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~” Ruki added on, shaking his head in much the same way.
Yukio agitated, threw them an irritated look. Kai catching it from the corner of his eye, felt something inside of him flip and twist. A sick feeling swam in his stomach making him feel like he was going to puke. “Asshole…” he whispered under his breath.
“Hm?” Uruha looked up at him.
“Nothing…” Kai replied between his teeth.
Cat Fuzz entered the room at that moment. “Lie:Death! Time to get ready!” He shouted and turning around as if he had something else he needed to do, immediately left.
“Good luck,” Uruha said to Kai.
“You don’t honestly mean that,” Kai heard himself say. “Wait-” he raised his hands realizing how harsh he was being. “I didn’t-”
“No, it’s okay,” Uruha laughed slightly and looked down, somewhat amused by it.
With a frustrated sigh, Kai tried to pull himself together. “Alright. See you later,” he said curtly and headed to the door following his band mates out.
As soon as Lie:Death was gone, a strange relief came over the other 5 with the absence of the more experienced intimidating musicians. Uruha gathering up his courage, sat down next to Aoi. “Finished tuning?” he asked.
“Yup.”
Without saying another word, Uruha lifted up his hand to the back of Aoi’s head and threaded his fingers in his shiny black hair as the motion was casual and normal. Aoi didn’t push him away and Uruha taking this as a good sign, started to characteristically knead the back of his head in an attempt to comfort him.
Aoi pretended to concentrate on his guitar. He stared at the silver strings with such intensity that they began to take on a strange personality all of their own.
In the distance, he could hear Lie:Death beginning to play. “One! Two! Three!” Kai shouted. The whole house rocked with excitement as they lead off the tournament. The fans screamed and cheered. Kai’s powerful drumming emanated through the walls like a heartbeat. Boom Boom it went and everyone in the back could feel the vibration dance up their skin.
“Fuck them,” Ruki said aloud. What he really meant was “They are really good.”
***
As soon as Lie:Death was finished, the young men made their way back toward the room; Kai leading the way. “You messed up at the end; it was a pair of 8ths not a 4th,” Yukio said to him.
“Are you sure? It sounded like I played it right,” Kai muttered.
“No, I’m sure you played a 4 beat.” He turned and looked at the other members who didn’t even know what he was walking about. They just remained silent. “I’m sure it was a 4beat.”
“Well, I’m sure you are wrong,” Kai spat out cattily.
The other 4 stopped in their tracks at the sudden aggression Kai was displaying. “Excuse me?” Yukio tilted his head.
“I played the fucking song right, okay?” he turned around and pointing at himself with confidence added “I can admit when I mess up but I’m not going to say I messed up when I didn’t, okay Yu-Ki-O?” he said each of the syllables in his name slowly and harshly as if Yukio’s mere name disturbed him.
“What has gotten into you? First you miss last night’s practice and now you are acting like this?” Yukio was baffled. This was certainly out of character for polite and orderly Kai who never missed a rehearsal, never complained, never even spoke up when things even in the worst situations inconvenienced him. Yukio liked Kai. To him, he was a good drummer and a good guy. He couldn’t figure out for the life of him why he was acting like this. “Are you having problems in your personal life…because if you are, I can understand but please don’t get aggressive.”
“No, Yukio. My problem is the fact that you are a domineering dick. That’s my problem.” If Kai stepped back and realized what he was saying, he would have immediately taken it back but he was in no mood to. He wasn’t even alarmed at how much he was swearing. He felt overwhelmed. First the thing with Aoi’s mother, Missing Practice, D going back to America and now this never-ending battle inside of him between his friends and between Lie:Death.
“Kai, why the hell are you acting like this?” Yukio was legitimately shocked.
Narrowing his eyes and gritting his teeth, he glared back at him with all the frustration and anger that had built up in him. He wanted to go further, to tell Yukio all the small things that had bothered him since he had known him but Kai, managing to at least keep a part of himself under control, said nothing. Turning sharply on his heels, he continued back to the dressing room wordlessly feeling that weight of Yukio’s gaze on his back.
“You sounded great!” Reita said encouragingly when he entered Room 3 where Gazette was nervously pacing and chattering away. They were schedule to go in half hour to 45 minutes performing against a band called Andreas+BlackRose. Ruki had seen them perform once and wasn’t terribly impressed but that didn’t do much to calm their nerves.
“Thanks,” Kai said shortly and walked over to where he had placed his things. It was evident to his friends and even to Rey that he was in a sour mood. He picked up a bottle of water and took a quick drink from it. Setting aside, he started shoving his crap into his bag. “I want to stay and watch you guys perform but…I’m really tired.” He avoided looking at them.
Ever the opportunist, Ruki made his way over to him and asked “What happened?”
“Nothing much.” Kai’s eyes went directly to the door when he heard it swing on its hinges. Yukio and the rest of Lie:Death made their way into the room silently, all four of their eyes glued unintentionally to Kai.
Ruki immediately sensed the mood and playing the concerned friend invited Kai out for a cigarette. Wanting to get away from them, he agreed. “I’ll be right back,” Ruki said quickly to his bandmates as he grabbed Kai’s arm and directed him toward the door. Standing right next to him, Reita looked at Uruha and raising his eyebrows gave him a knowing look as if to communicate to him that Ruki was up to no good. Uruha as usual, didn’t give him any sign that he understood him or not.
Outside in the alley, Ruki pulled out a cigarette from his pack and offered one to Kai. “You smoke?” he asked him.
“No but tonight’s a good night to start,” Kai replied as he took the tiny white stick from him.
“Here let me give you a light.” There were several people in the alley near them, mostly audience members. A lot of them were girls, some of them heavily made up, some looking like your typical androgynous metal head. One girl recognizing Kai pointed at him and whispered something to her friend. “Looks like you have fans,” Ruki chuckled.
“God, I hope they don’t come and try to talk to me,” he muttered in irritation. He inhaled the cigarette and coughed a bit.
“I didn’t know you knew how to inhale. This isn’t your first cigarette?” Ruki lit his own as he spoke.
Kai lifted up the cigarette and examined it. “I’ve smoked before but not tobacco.”
“What the fuck? You’ve smoked pot before?”
“Yeah, actually.” The tobacco made him feel somewhat relaxed. He shoved one hand into his pocket and watched the girls as they chattered in their individual tight-knit groups.
“Wouldn’t have guess that…”
“Well…” Kai replied uselessly as his mind wandered to the moment he had left D’s place earlier. They had eaten the pancakes and talked a bit about nothing in particular, a little about D’s studies and Kai went in length talking about different types of drums. For the most part, it was casual and enjoyable conversation shared among friends but when it came time for Kai to leave, D had walked him to the door. “No, I really should take the bus besides don’t you have to be in class in an hour or 2?” Kai had smiled at him.
“Yeah…but…” He could tell that D was trying to think of an excuse.
“Thanks. You’ve been… really nice to me,” Kai had said to him.
And then they had an awkward moment. He was standing near the doorway ready to leave. Should he hug him? Kiss him? He didn’t know. “I guess this is goodbye then?” D said forcing a smile.
“Yeah…goodbye.” Then Kai like a fool, just lifted up his hands and rested them on his shoulders and proceeded to pat them. He immediately cringed at his stupidity and turned around embarrassed as he opened the door quickly, nearly rushing out of there.
You’re such an idiot, Kai said to himself.
“So, what happened back there?” Ruki said, deciding that he might as well get to it before Kai finished his cigarette.
His question had broken him out of his daydream. Looking at him somewhat surprised, Kai paused to let his question fully process before he answered. “Just…Yukio can be…How can I say? Nitpicky but not like Uruha…He’s more of a jerk about it? You know Uruha can be like that, precise and everything when it comes to the music. I’ve seen the way he is with Aoi but he’s more like a teacher that challenges you. Yukio is more of type that makes you feel like you aren’t good enough. Does that make sense?”
Ruki nodded cutely and enthusiastically. “Makes a lot of sense,” he said quickly.
“And he’s soooooo tiring,” Kai threw his head back to add emphasis and a touch of humor.
“Can I be upfront with you?” Ruki asked suddenly.
Kai already knew what he was getting at. Nervously rolling the end of the cigarette between his fingers, he nodded yes and added “Of course.”
“There’s always a place for you in Gazette.” Ruki could tell that Kai wanted to say something but Ruki cut him off. “And you don’t need to say anything about Rey. He’s not that serious of a musician and none of us are close to him. He’s bearable and he filled the spot but to be honest and I know the other 3 will agree with me, we would rather have you in the band.”
“Ruki-”
“And not just because you are our friend. Of course though that has a lot to do with it and more than anything, we would like to achieve our dream together with you but…a big part of it too is because you are a great drummer. You have a powerful sound and you have great energy and I’m not just saying that because you’re my friend but because I honestly think that.”
All the while as he listened to Ruki’s kind words, he stared at the shiny black tar of alley floor, watching the light bounce of its ragged surface. There was a strange beauty to it that he hadn’t noticed before. “Thank you,” he bowed deeply to show his gratitude.
Ruki in return, bowed. “You don’t have to say anything now about it. I just want you to know that we’re here.” He threw the butt of his cigarette away and turning around headed to the back door of Cerberus, adding with extra emphasis “Always.”
***
When it was time for Gazette to perform, the five of them lined up in the dark hallway that lead to the stage; each one of them nervously shifted from side to side with their instruments in hand.
“We’re going to kill’m,” Reita repeated as if it were his new mantra.
Leading the way, Uruha lifted up his arms and motioning with hands called for more noise from the audience. Clashing with his pretty face, his mannerisms were humorously masculine if not a bit like a frat boy’s. The girls in the crowd seeing this young beautiful man cheered enthusiastically.
“FUCK YEAH! GAZETTE ROCKS!” Kameyo shouted from the middle of the pack.
Uruha could hear his sister screaming something along the lines of “Yay! Go Gazette!” Naturally, he tried not to pay attention to her.
Reita made rock and roll gestures with his hands. Aoi ever the charmer despite his oppressively dark mood, blew kisses at the crowd flirtatiously.
“Heyyyyy,” Ruki said, speaking into the microphone. “What a beautiful crowd!” He smiled.
“KAWAIIII!” Kameyo shouted obnoxiously.
Ruki however giggled as if he were embarrassed. “We’re Gazette. I hope you like us.” Everything about him was adorable, his laughter, his round cheeks, the big bow around his neck, the cowboy hat, his long boyish shorts with the tall brown tube socks. Some of the girls in the crowd that were easily won over by cuteness, went mushy almost immediately at the sight of him.
As soon as the song began, Gazette didn’t hold anything back. They knew that one of their selling points was their energy and they went full force into it, running around across the stage, leaning forward and grabbing some of the fans’ hands.
For the tournament, each band was allowed to play 2 songs in the first round. If they advanced, in round 2 they played 3. In the 3rd and final round, they were able to play 4. As soon as their first song ended, they quickly went into their 2nd, making sure to carry in as much energy and drive as they could.
Uruha at one point of the song made his way over to the other side of the stage. He pressed his shoulder against Aoi’s sweetly and started to play with him. Looking up at Uruha, Aoi forced a smile. He leaned in and whispered sweetly and secretively in Aoi’s ear “I love you.” Before Aoi could say anything in return to his words which for the most part were out of character, Uruha smiled his baby smile at him and hurried back to his side of the stage to play his solo leaving Aoi feeling a mix of tenderness and guilt at not reciprocating Uruha’s surprising sweetness.
Aoi knew though that Uruha’s words were not the product of a romantic moment but rather an attempt to keep Aoi close to him. Knowing that however, only increased Aoi’s ever deepening sense of guilt. Saying I love you at like this, whispering it to him when he least expected it, revealed more than anything Uruha’s fear of losing him.
When the song reached it final section, all of members moved to the edge of the stage. Reita lifted up his leg and resting it on the vocalist’s box, played side by side next to Ruki who seeing his opportunity to not only garner favor in the fans’ eyes but to also take advantage of Reita in that vulnerable position, decided to throw his arm around him. At first it seemed innocent enough until Ruki, somewhat roughly pulled Reita’s hair forcing his head to the side and exposing the bottom part of his chin and his throat. As soon as he finished his lyrics, Ruki moved in and sticking the wet organ of his tongue out, dragged it from the tip of Reita’s exposed collarbone up to the bottom of his ear.
Needless to say, the girls in the crowd were very very pleased by Ruki’s generous fanservice.
The mischievous young man smirked evilly and moaned erotically right into Reita’s ear. “Mmmm tastes good,” he said in a volume that only the defenseless bassist could hear. The thick vibrations of Ruki’s beautiful voice along with the damp spit that cooled the hot naked skin of his neck caused Reita to become unwillingly aroused. He looked down in fear that it might become noticeable. The moment that Aoi and Uruha moved away from the edge of the stage, Reita took the opportunity to quickly run away from Ruki and his little evil tongue.
To his great relief, the song was finally over. The crowd cheered loudly for them as they bowed and waved goodbye making their way off stage.
“They enjoyed it!” Uruha announced happily as soon as they were in the dark of the hallway. All five of them felt a bit strange since the set was so short.
“They did!” Ruki added with a great enthusiasm. He was certain that they were going to advance to the second round. In a childlike skip, he made his way over to Reita. He hooked his arm with his and smiled at the side of his face, not looking away until Reita budged and returned it. “Did you enjoy yourself?” he asked with an impish smirk.
“Uh…yeah,” Reita rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He was in this small man’s control and there was nothing he could do about it.
Getting to his tiptoes, Ruki whispered right into his ear in a deep purr “I enjoyed it too.”
[A/N I am posting this with burning eyes I am so tired. I wanted to post earlier but my friend was here so I couldn't. Firstly, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been commenting. I appreciate all your kind words but especially the fact that you are willing to let yourself get into the story and open up to the characters. I try to make them as realistic as possible often times, pulling from my own life. With Aoi's character this is very much the case. The more I became acquainted with the man's personality, the more I felt that he was like many of the people I knew growing up. I know that's a strange thing to say but what I am getting at is I feel akin to him. Aoi's mother too is based off of women I used to know and his experiences in this story are pulled from those I've seen others go through. What I am getting at is that none of it is really "made up" so to speak and I honored that people are moved by him and what he's going through as well as what the other characters are experiencing too because I feel much the same way as all of you do.
Secondly, I know this is stupid but a big portion of this chappy is unbeta'd and so the sentences might be weird. I'm sorry if this is the case. Me beta will read it tomorrow and I will edit the entry with her corrections. I just didn't want to keep you all waiting too long.
Lastly and but not leastly, I hope this finds you all in good health and spirits!
Love, Froggie~ (or zion XD)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2
There was not a more fitting word than Chaos.
Chaos. Insanity. Confusion. Disorder. The seeds of Anarchy.
Cat Fuzz, a tall rather strange character with a booming voice and an obsession so great with clothing and accessories it’s intensity was only matched with just how terribly ugly and horrendous his taste in them was, walked into it without an ounce of panic. As soon as he entered the back of his rather well off club “Cerberus” the first impression the pack of musicians stuffed back there underwent was of his towering figure. After that, they let their eyes wander around him to find that he was by far the tackiest person they have ever encountered. He wore a pink bedazzled floppy hat, narrow square sunglasses with a white trim, a long basketball New York Knicks Jersey with a tiny leather jacket that reached only to the middle of his torso. For pants, he wore what looked like the exact pair that MC Hammer wore in his Can’t Touch This video and on his feet, he wore shiny tap dance shoes. If one were to examine all his individual accessories it would seem like jewelry drawer of an old British woman mixed with that of one of those 10 year old creative girls who handmade bracelets and necklaces from kits she bought at a drug store.
But perhaps one does fight fire with fire. Because if Cat Fuzz and the insanity of his clothing had anything to do with bringing order to the chaos of Cerberus’ backstage, he seemed to be the only person that could administer it.
“GOOOOOOOD EVENING,” he bellowed out in his big voice. If he didn’t own a successful venue, he probably would have made a living narrating commercials. “There are 4 specific rooms and y’all are going to have to share them, K?” When no one said anything, he shouted like a drill sergeant “K?!”
“HAI!” The musicians called out.
He let his gaze scan their faces and their costumes. It looked like a gathering of a cult of semi-homeless goth kids with hordes of make-up on their face. They stared back at him with wide, heavily madeup eyes of purple and black eyeliner. “I will split y’all up, K? 2 bands per room, K?”
“HAI!” A random person shouted. His outburst made everyone in the room feel awkward.
“K,” Cat Fuzz said uselessly almost like how a frog casually lets out a ribbit. “Alright…So…” he pulled out a sheet of paper from his back pocket and started reading from it, listing out the room number and which bands would be in it. The members of Gazette all looked around watching the reactions of the musicians whose band names were just called. As soon as they escaped Cat Fuzz’s lips, they went straight to work hulling their crap to their designated room. “Room 3, Gazette and Lie:Death.”
As soon as those words fell upon their ears, they immediately looked across the room to where Kai was sitting quietly behind Yukio. He seemingly refused to look up and repay their glance. It was almost as if he were being called out on something and he didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“We should get our things and head to Room 3,” Reita suggested, hurrying things along more for Kai’s sake than Gazette’s. He watched the side of Ruki’s face wondering what was going through the little imp’s mind recalling that along with his pledge to possess him, he had said that he would get Kai in their band no matter what.
Ruki was the last one to turn and grab his things. He stood there for awhile with his arms folded and his gaze locked in on Kai’s face. “Uhh…Ruki…” Reita said softly not trying to draw attention to it.
“Yeah?” Ruki turned and smiled at him.
“Don’t stare like that,” he whispered with urgency. “You are being obvious.”
Ruki giggled. “Am I?”
“God, you can be scary…”
As soon as the musicians had all made their way to their designated room, Yukio blankly if not a bit rudely said without even looking at them “Make sure to keep your things on that side.”
“Hey,” Uruha greeted Kai.
“Hey.” Kai forced a smile although everything about his body suggested nervousness. His arms were folded tightly and he kept tapping his foot. “So, that’s Rey,” he pointed to him with his chin.
Rey was as uninteresting as a Visual Kei musician could get. He was of medium height, of medium weight, with a medium amount of good looks and ugly looks that if he had the opportunity to garner some attention and made appearances in magazines, he’d just be that one member all their fans had difficulty recognizing. But to Rey’s credit, he was precise, orderly and even though he rarely spoke, his responses were always well timed and had a moderately comic effect that made his presence enjoyable. He was boring and bland though and that couldn’t be ignored. Especially by someone like Ruki who instead of shunning him for his dullness made a point to direct his ceaseless backstage chatter at him, knowing that Rey wouldn’t have the personality to tell him to shut up or to cut him off with a comment of his own.
“Mhm,” Uruha nodded and holding his hands behind his back, tried to think of something to say to Kai to make him feel at ease. “I brought some sake if you want to have a drink with me,” he smiled at him.
“Maybe after the show. I shouldn’t drink before I go on stage,” Kai stared at Rey as he applied white face paint.
Digging his toe into the cement flooring, Uruha nodded and said “Ok.”
“I’m surprised you aren’t over by Aoi,” Kai turned and directed his attention at his awkward friend.
“We got into a fight earlier…and now he is ignoring me…” Uruha hunching over, stared at the floor, his mind arrested somewhere between guitar phrases and thoughts about Aoi.
“A fight?” Uruha merely nodded in response. “What do you mean a fight?”
“It’s complicated…”
Kai sighed and looked down at the floor at Uruha’s foot as he moved it anxiously. “I’m having a bad day too…” he said comfortingly.
“Worse now because Lie:Death is sharing a room with Gazette too, right?”
“Right.”
On the other side of the room, Aoi sat there quietly tuning his guitar. Reita noticing that he was in a bad mood, sat down next to him and tried to crack a joke. Aoi looked up and smiled at him sadly.
“Dude, are you okay?” Reita asked mustering up all his goodwilled boyish charms.
“I’m alright,” he lied.
“Cool,” Reita nodded and scanned the room. “Those Lie:Death guys look really stern, don’t they?” he said quietly.
Brusquely, Aoi retorted “They have a stick up their ass.” He plucked the D string making sure it was in tune.
“I guess you can put it that way,” Reita laughed quietly. Rubbing his hands, he tried to think of something else to say. “Uruha looks really beautiful, doesn’t he?”
Finally looking up, Aoi raised his eyes to his fellow guitarist. He was dressed ready to go on stage. His hair was raised into two perky brown pig tails and he wore a pleather vest and skirt with tall mixed matched socks, one black and white striped and the other lacy. Between the bottom hem of his skirt and the socks, he revealed the upper part of his naked thighs. On his eyes, he wore plum eye shadow with thick black eyeliner. “Yeah…” Aoi said in a breathy sigh.
“Why aren’t you two talking?”
“No reason,” Aoi lied once again. The truth was that he was too afraid to talk to him. After he had left Uruha’s apartment, he just walked. For hours, he pounded payment, his mind racing at a million miles an hour, his emotions inside of him raging. But even within that span of time, he had reached no conclusions. He felt as if he were coming close to one at times only for something else inside of him to rise up and destroy it. In the end, he didn’t know what to think or what to feel. But even if this was the case, he had made the decision to not talk to Uruha.
“If you say so, dude…” Reita replied not convinced. But he knew better not to press with Aoi. One only incited anger if they did. “When we go out there, we are going to rock the shit out of the crowd,” he said changing the subject. Thinking now of the tournament, Reita jumped to his feet and started pacing nervously. “Right, Ruki?” he asked him, seeing him finally getting to his feet, finished with his make-up.
“Hm?” Ruki’s big eyes became wider. He had just finished painting his lips entirely in black and drawing lines around them as if they were stitched like a scare crow. He painted around his eyes black eyeshadow and drawing with eyeliner, wrote obscenities in crazy looking Kanji down his cute round cheek and across his throat. Around his neck, he wore a big colorful bow. Just as he got to his feet, Rey in a spurt of personality put some music on, popping in a cassette of Balzac’s.
“We are going to kill them!” Reita raised an empowered fist.
“HAI!” Ruki cutely saluted him.
“We are going to killllllll’mmmm~” Reita shook his head as if the words were too powerful for his mouth to contain.
“HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~” Ruki added on, shaking his head in much the same way.
Yukio agitated, threw them an irritated look. Kai catching it from the corner of his eye, felt something inside of him flip and twist. A sick feeling swam in his stomach making him feel like he was going to puke. “Asshole…” he whispered under his breath.
“Hm?” Uruha looked up at him.
“Nothing…” Kai replied between his teeth.
Cat Fuzz entered the room at that moment. “Lie:Death! Time to get ready!” He shouted and turning around as if he had something else he needed to do, immediately left.
“Good luck,” Uruha said to Kai.
“You don’t honestly mean that,” Kai heard himself say. “Wait-” he raised his hands realizing how harsh he was being. “I didn’t-”
“No, it’s okay,” Uruha laughed slightly and looked down, somewhat amused by it.
With a frustrated sigh, Kai tried to pull himself together. “Alright. See you later,” he said curtly and headed to the door following his band mates out.
As soon as Lie:Death was gone, a strange relief came over the other 5 with the absence of the more experienced intimidating musicians. Uruha gathering up his courage, sat down next to Aoi. “Finished tuning?” he asked.
“Yup.”
Without saying another word, Uruha lifted up his hand to the back of Aoi’s head and threaded his fingers in his shiny black hair as the motion was casual and normal. Aoi didn’t push him away and Uruha taking this as a good sign, started to characteristically knead the back of his head in an attempt to comfort him.
Aoi pretended to concentrate on his guitar. He stared at the silver strings with such intensity that they began to take on a strange personality all of their own.
In the distance, he could hear Lie:Death beginning to play. “One! Two! Three!” Kai shouted. The whole house rocked with excitement as they lead off the tournament. The fans screamed and cheered. Kai’s powerful drumming emanated through the walls like a heartbeat. Boom Boom it went and everyone in the back could feel the vibration dance up their skin.
“Fuck them,” Ruki said aloud. What he really meant was “They are really good.”
***
As soon as Lie:Death was finished, the young men made their way back toward the room; Kai leading the way. “You messed up at the end; it was a pair of 8ths not a 4th,” Yukio said to him.
“Are you sure? It sounded like I played it right,” Kai muttered.
“No, I’m sure you played a 4 beat.” He turned and looked at the other members who didn’t even know what he was walking about. They just remained silent. “I’m sure it was a 4beat.”
“Well, I’m sure you are wrong,” Kai spat out cattily.
The other 4 stopped in their tracks at the sudden aggression Kai was displaying. “Excuse me?” Yukio tilted his head.
“I played the fucking song right, okay?” he turned around and pointing at himself with confidence added “I can admit when I mess up but I’m not going to say I messed up when I didn’t, okay Yu-Ki-O?” he said each of the syllables in his name slowly and harshly as if Yukio’s mere name disturbed him.
“What has gotten into you? First you miss last night’s practice and now you are acting like this?” Yukio was baffled. This was certainly out of character for polite and orderly Kai who never missed a rehearsal, never complained, never even spoke up when things even in the worst situations inconvenienced him. Yukio liked Kai. To him, he was a good drummer and a good guy. He couldn’t figure out for the life of him why he was acting like this. “Are you having problems in your personal life…because if you are, I can understand but please don’t get aggressive.”
“No, Yukio. My problem is the fact that you are a domineering dick. That’s my problem.” If Kai stepped back and realized what he was saying, he would have immediately taken it back but he was in no mood to. He wasn’t even alarmed at how much he was swearing. He felt overwhelmed. First the thing with Aoi’s mother, Missing Practice, D going back to America and now this never-ending battle inside of him between his friends and between Lie:Death.
“Kai, why the hell are you acting like this?” Yukio was legitimately shocked.
Narrowing his eyes and gritting his teeth, he glared back at him with all the frustration and anger that had built up in him. He wanted to go further, to tell Yukio all the small things that had bothered him since he had known him but Kai, managing to at least keep a part of himself under control, said nothing. Turning sharply on his heels, he continued back to the dressing room wordlessly feeling that weight of Yukio’s gaze on his back.
“You sounded great!” Reita said encouragingly when he entered Room 3 where Gazette was nervously pacing and chattering away. They were schedule to go in half hour to 45 minutes performing against a band called Andreas+BlackRose. Ruki had seen them perform once and wasn’t terribly impressed but that didn’t do much to calm their nerves.
“Thanks,” Kai said shortly and walked over to where he had placed his things. It was evident to his friends and even to Rey that he was in a sour mood. He picked up a bottle of water and took a quick drink from it. Setting aside, he started shoving his crap into his bag. “I want to stay and watch you guys perform but…I’m really tired.” He avoided looking at them.
Ever the opportunist, Ruki made his way over to him and asked “What happened?”
“Nothing much.” Kai’s eyes went directly to the door when he heard it swing on its hinges. Yukio and the rest of Lie:Death made their way into the room silently, all four of their eyes glued unintentionally to Kai.
Ruki immediately sensed the mood and playing the concerned friend invited Kai out for a cigarette. Wanting to get away from them, he agreed. “I’ll be right back,” Ruki said quickly to his bandmates as he grabbed Kai’s arm and directed him toward the door. Standing right next to him, Reita looked at Uruha and raising his eyebrows gave him a knowing look as if to communicate to him that Ruki was up to no good. Uruha as usual, didn’t give him any sign that he understood him or not.
Outside in the alley, Ruki pulled out a cigarette from his pack and offered one to Kai. “You smoke?” he asked him.
“No but tonight’s a good night to start,” Kai replied as he took the tiny white stick from him.
“Here let me give you a light.” There were several people in the alley near them, mostly audience members. A lot of them were girls, some of them heavily made up, some looking like your typical androgynous metal head. One girl recognizing Kai pointed at him and whispered something to her friend. “Looks like you have fans,” Ruki chuckled.
“God, I hope they don’t come and try to talk to me,” he muttered in irritation. He inhaled the cigarette and coughed a bit.
“I didn’t know you knew how to inhale. This isn’t your first cigarette?” Ruki lit his own as he spoke.
Kai lifted up the cigarette and examined it. “I’ve smoked before but not tobacco.”
“What the fuck? You’ve smoked pot before?”
“Yeah, actually.” The tobacco made him feel somewhat relaxed. He shoved one hand into his pocket and watched the girls as they chattered in their individual tight-knit groups.
“Wouldn’t have guess that…”
“Well…” Kai replied uselessly as his mind wandered to the moment he had left D’s place earlier. They had eaten the pancakes and talked a bit about nothing in particular, a little about D’s studies and Kai went in length talking about different types of drums. For the most part, it was casual and enjoyable conversation shared among friends but when it came time for Kai to leave, D had walked him to the door. “No, I really should take the bus besides don’t you have to be in class in an hour or 2?” Kai had smiled at him.
“Yeah…but…” He could tell that D was trying to think of an excuse.
“Thanks. You’ve been… really nice to me,” Kai had said to him.
And then they had an awkward moment. He was standing near the doorway ready to leave. Should he hug him? Kiss him? He didn’t know. “I guess this is goodbye then?” D said forcing a smile.
“Yeah…goodbye.” Then Kai like a fool, just lifted up his hands and rested them on his shoulders and proceeded to pat them. He immediately cringed at his stupidity and turned around embarrassed as he opened the door quickly, nearly rushing out of there.
You’re such an idiot, Kai said to himself.
“So, what happened back there?” Ruki said, deciding that he might as well get to it before Kai finished his cigarette.
His question had broken him out of his daydream. Looking at him somewhat surprised, Kai paused to let his question fully process before he answered. “Just…Yukio can be…How can I say? Nitpicky but not like Uruha…He’s more of a jerk about it? You know Uruha can be like that, precise and everything when it comes to the music. I’ve seen the way he is with Aoi but he’s more like a teacher that challenges you. Yukio is more of type that makes you feel like you aren’t good enough. Does that make sense?”
Ruki nodded cutely and enthusiastically. “Makes a lot of sense,” he said quickly.
“And he’s soooooo tiring,” Kai threw his head back to add emphasis and a touch of humor.
“Can I be upfront with you?” Ruki asked suddenly.
Kai already knew what he was getting at. Nervously rolling the end of the cigarette between his fingers, he nodded yes and added “Of course.”
“There’s always a place for you in Gazette.” Ruki could tell that Kai wanted to say something but Ruki cut him off. “And you don’t need to say anything about Rey. He’s not that serious of a musician and none of us are close to him. He’s bearable and he filled the spot but to be honest and I know the other 3 will agree with me, we would rather have you in the band.”
“Ruki-”
“And not just because you are our friend. Of course though that has a lot to do with it and more than anything, we would like to achieve our dream together with you but…a big part of it too is because you are a great drummer. You have a powerful sound and you have great energy and I’m not just saying that because you’re my friend but because I honestly think that.”
All the while as he listened to Ruki’s kind words, he stared at the shiny black tar of alley floor, watching the light bounce of its ragged surface. There was a strange beauty to it that he hadn’t noticed before. “Thank you,” he bowed deeply to show his gratitude.
Ruki in return, bowed. “You don’t have to say anything now about it. I just want you to know that we’re here.” He threw the butt of his cigarette away and turning around headed to the back door of Cerberus, adding with extra emphasis “Always.”
***
When it was time for Gazette to perform, the five of them lined up in the dark hallway that lead to the stage; each one of them nervously shifted from side to side with their instruments in hand.
“We’re going to kill’m,” Reita repeated as if it were his new mantra.
Leading the way, Uruha lifted up his arms and motioning with hands called for more noise from the audience. Clashing with his pretty face, his mannerisms were humorously masculine if not a bit like a frat boy’s. The girls in the crowd seeing this young beautiful man cheered enthusiastically.
“FUCK YEAH! GAZETTE ROCKS!” Kameyo shouted from the middle of the pack.
Uruha could hear his sister screaming something along the lines of “Yay! Go Gazette!” Naturally, he tried not to pay attention to her.
Reita made rock and roll gestures with his hands. Aoi ever the charmer despite his oppressively dark mood, blew kisses at the crowd flirtatiously.
“Heyyyyy,” Ruki said, speaking into the microphone. “What a beautiful crowd!” He smiled.
“KAWAIIII!” Kameyo shouted obnoxiously.
Ruki however giggled as if he were embarrassed. “We’re Gazette. I hope you like us.” Everything about him was adorable, his laughter, his round cheeks, the big bow around his neck, the cowboy hat, his long boyish shorts with the tall brown tube socks. Some of the girls in the crowd that were easily won over by cuteness, went mushy almost immediately at the sight of him.
As soon as the song began, Gazette didn’t hold anything back. They knew that one of their selling points was their energy and they went full force into it, running around across the stage, leaning forward and grabbing some of the fans’ hands.
For the tournament, each band was allowed to play 2 songs in the first round. If they advanced, in round 2 they played 3. In the 3rd and final round, they were able to play 4. As soon as their first song ended, they quickly went into their 2nd, making sure to carry in as much energy and drive as they could.
Uruha at one point of the song made his way over to the other side of the stage. He pressed his shoulder against Aoi’s sweetly and started to play with him. Looking up at Uruha, Aoi forced a smile. He leaned in and whispered sweetly and secretively in Aoi’s ear “I love you.” Before Aoi could say anything in return to his words which for the most part were out of character, Uruha smiled his baby smile at him and hurried back to his side of the stage to play his solo leaving Aoi feeling a mix of tenderness and guilt at not reciprocating Uruha’s surprising sweetness.
Aoi knew though that Uruha’s words were not the product of a romantic moment but rather an attempt to keep Aoi close to him. Knowing that however, only increased Aoi’s ever deepening sense of guilt. Saying I love you at like this, whispering it to him when he least expected it, revealed more than anything Uruha’s fear of losing him.
When the song reached it final section, all of members moved to the edge of the stage. Reita lifted up his leg and resting it on the vocalist’s box, played side by side next to Ruki who seeing his opportunity to not only garner favor in the fans’ eyes but to also take advantage of Reita in that vulnerable position, decided to throw his arm around him. At first it seemed innocent enough until Ruki, somewhat roughly pulled Reita’s hair forcing his head to the side and exposing the bottom part of his chin and his throat. As soon as he finished his lyrics, Ruki moved in and sticking the wet organ of his tongue out, dragged it from the tip of Reita’s exposed collarbone up to the bottom of his ear.
Needless to say, the girls in the crowd were very very pleased by Ruki’s generous fanservice.
The mischievous young man smirked evilly and moaned erotically right into Reita’s ear. “Mmmm tastes good,” he said in a volume that only the defenseless bassist could hear. The thick vibrations of Ruki’s beautiful voice along with the damp spit that cooled the hot naked skin of his neck caused Reita to become unwillingly aroused. He looked down in fear that it might become noticeable. The moment that Aoi and Uruha moved away from the edge of the stage, Reita took the opportunity to quickly run away from Ruki and his little evil tongue.
To his great relief, the song was finally over. The crowd cheered loudly for them as they bowed and waved goodbye making their way off stage.
“They enjoyed it!” Uruha announced happily as soon as they were in the dark of the hallway. All five of them felt a bit strange since the set was so short.
“They did!” Ruki added with a great enthusiasm. He was certain that they were going to advance to the second round. In a childlike skip, he made his way over to Reita. He hooked his arm with his and smiled at the side of his face, not looking away until Reita budged and returned it. “Did you enjoy yourself?” he asked with an impish smirk.
“Uh…yeah,” Reita rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. He was in this small man’s control and there was nothing he could do about it.
Getting to his tiptoes, Ruki whispered right into his ear in a deep purr “I enjoyed it too.”
[A/N I am posting this with burning eyes I am so tired. I wanted to post earlier but my friend was here so I couldn't. Firstly, I want to say thank you to everyone who has been commenting. I appreciate all your kind words but especially the fact that you are willing to let yourself get into the story and open up to the characters. I try to make them as realistic as possible often times, pulling from my own life. With Aoi's character this is very much the case. The more I became acquainted with the man's personality, the more I felt that he was like many of the people I knew growing up. I know that's a strange thing to say but what I am getting at is I feel akin to him. Aoi's mother too is based off of women I used to know and his experiences in this story are pulled from those I've seen others go through. What I am getting at is that none of it is really "made up" so to speak and I honored that people are moved by him and what he's going through as well as what the other characters are experiencing too because I feel much the same way as all of you do.
Secondly, I know this is stupid but a big portion of this chappy is unbeta'd and so the sentences might be weird. I'm sorry if this is the case. Me beta will read it tomorrow and I will edit the entry with her corrections. I just didn't want to keep you all waiting too long.
Lastly and but not leastly, I hope this finds you all in good health and spirits!
Love, Froggie~ (or zion XD)