Iridescence Legacy ;; Generation 4.2
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4.1
† download an iridescence †
When we last left the Iridescences, Envy had graduated from college with a Fine Arts degree, only to deem it completely useless as she mastered the Alchemy profession instead. After hearing from her cult that her reign as Hades, God of the Underworld, would be secured by bearing a child of the Fae (who would then grow up to find a Unicorn for Envy to slaughter as a sacrifice to her cause), Envy procured sperm from the bartender Eli, who she had previously put under the genie's love spell. She was then impregnated.
We start 4.2 with Envy bearing said child:
This is Harmony, a fairy-witch hybrid. She is clumsy and easily impressed.
And um, she's perfect. Hi.
Unfortunately, Envy is at a high enough celebrity level that bearing a child out of wedlock is considered 'shameful', which only really stood to aggravate her more than humiliate her.
Envy: Those insolent peasants, who are they to judge me? I am a GOD; ergo, I do what the hell I want, when the hell I want. Once my powers are restored, I will reign fire down on those who opposed me.
She actually didn't get the publicly disgraced moodlet though. Maybe because she's insane and doesn't care? Idk, idk.
Envy: How do you ever expect to find my unicorn if you don't walk, my child? Come on now, hurry up; I don't have all day, here.
A++ parenting, you guys. But, in the end, I suppose it's better than just outright ignoring her offspring, lol.
I swear to god, she is just like Passion that I just can't even, lol.
Anyway, look at the shiny things, you guys! FYEAH, COLLECTION HELPER.
Look who walked into the alchemy shop! FAYE, YOU ARE ADORABLE AS A TEEN AND I JUST LOVE YOU. I can't wait to see how Aron looks all grown up too ^_^
So, yeah. Envy kind of found a new way to deal with the paparazzi that harass her, lol.
Samuel:
Zombie Count: 2/10
Envy had posted the news of Harmony's birth on her cult's forum, however she quickly found that her unicorn-devouring fate was not yet guaranteed. It seems that Hanna was not able to tell if the child was a boy or a girl in her 'vision', and to be absolutely certain that Envy will ascend to the throne, it was recommended to her that she keep bearing children until she has a boy fae.
Envy: ...I weep for the future state of my vagina.
Me too, girl. Me too.
Envy: Eli? I am in need of your services once more. Drop everything you're doing and come penetrate me.
Eli: My Lord, I am so honored that you would--
Envy: Hush, let's just get on with it.
Eli: Wow... that was... wow! Way better than last time. I think I came like five times!
Envy: Well I needed to be certain. Now grab your pants and get dafuq out of my house; I have things to do, people to kill...
Eli:
He still got laid, so being dismissed like that? Yeah, doesn't matter in the slightest, lol.
Before he left though he did stop into the nursery for a minute to bond with Harmony, which was nice ^_^
BONEHILDA THOUGH, UGH. She cleans and shit, yeah, but child care? Idk what it is, but she can't seem to pick up the toddler. The action just keeps popping up and then canceling over and over and over...
So yeah, she had to go :/
Winter is boring and as Envy was currently unable to fish/garden, I basically just had her sit around the house and read books to gain skills.
Cause wtf else am I supposed to do with her? Idk.
And work out, because she became a four-star celebrity (I assume because of how many skills she has - its seriously a ridiculous amount), and I felt like she needed to maintain her physique lol.
Envy: Why are you making me do this torture? I'm a God, you fool; my body will stay perfect because I will it to!
Just do what I say.
Haha, this poor girl. Seems she can't handle pregnancy well...
But eep! Baby bump! ^_^ PRAY FOR A BOY.
I don't know if it was Envy who made this or one of the ghosts, but I found it on my lot and got excited because I have never seen the tragic clown snowman before.
Though speaking of ghosts...
Energy: OMGAH, ENVY IRIDESCENCE? CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!!1!11
Dude, number one: she's your granddaughter. Kinda weird that you're getting all fangirl on her. Number two: YOU'RE DEAD, WHY DO YOU CARE?
This game, I swear.
So I had Envy try one of the magic jelly beans outside the alchemy shop, and only later did I realize that there's a possibility she could die from it, lol. Thankfully she got a good one, but it did give me an idea for a future legacy. A kind of russian roulette kind of fuckery... hahaha #evil
Envy: Oh JFC, THIS DOES NOT GET ANY EASIER!
Oh, hush. The miracle of life is beautiful, you whiner.
It's a boy! He's a full fledged fairy and his name is Tranquil. He rolled slob and eccentric.
His wings make him look like a demon, lol.
Harmony: A little brother? LOL, NOPE. L8R BITCHES.
So it seems that despite being an 'all powerful God' and the fact that Envy could easily handle one toddler, two of them managed to completely push her over her limit.
Tranquil: DIRTY...!
Harmony: HUNGRY!!!
Envy:
So she decided it would probably be pertinent at this point in time to revise Eli's contract.
Envy: You have five minutes to get over here. Ready, set, go.
Envy: Alright look, it's come to my attention that I am in need of a full-time babysitter, as the three butlers I've acquired since Bonehilda have quit on me because I cant throw friendship elixirs at them for some reason and, well, nobody really likes me without that kind of magical help. SO. Here is what I am proposing: I will revise your contract, which will now state that your body, mind, soul - and most importantly, your babysitting skills - are now mine to do with as I please, and you will move in at my earliest convenience.
Eli: So wait, lemme get this straight... you want me to be tied to you 24/7 just because you need help raising our kids?
Envy: In a nutshell.
Eli: OMG. That's like... that's like marriage in a way, isn't it?!! I AM SO DOWN WITH MARRYING THE KING OF THE UNDERWORLD DSHDJKDBHS I CAN'T. MY FEELS. I'M JUST... I'M SO EXCITED! Can we like... exchange rings and make it official?!
Envy: So long as you're on board with this and I'm not forced to flay you alive, I really don't care.
Eli: And so, with this invisible ring due to bad rendering, I take thee--
Envy: Omg whatever; I do, the end. Okay? This is cutting into my valuable time and you have some child-rearing to do.
Eli: Okay, my love, but first... promise me that when we retire to bed tonight that we may consummate our marriage like... well, regular people.
Envy: Fine. But just because I actually find that sex with you can be quite enjoyable, and only if you wear a condom because I now have offspring of each gender and quite frankly... my vagina is so fucking done. K?
Eli: K.
Look at Mr. All Good Traits. Jeez, lol. His LTW is Presenting the Perfect Private Aquarium, so I guess both of the adults are going to be registered as self employed. Which is fine, since Envy's already sold like §50,000 worth of elixirs lol. They aren't going to be poor any time soon xD
Birthday sparkles!
Aww, she's so cute ^_^ Harmony rolled animal lover, which I am pleased with as it will help with the unicorn quest should she get picked as heir. At least I hope, lol. I've never looked for a unicorn before in this game, but I'm assuming that and equestrian would help in that area.
Cause, you know... that would make sense, lol.
Harmony: MOM, MOM, MOM. Wanna see what I learned to do? It's super cool!
Envy: Will it further your quest for--- what the ever living hell?
Harmony: Tehehehehehe.
Envy: ...Your grounded.
THE FAIRY HOUSE IS SO CUTE I JUST CANNOT, YOU GUYS. And the way they shrink down? fjhdsjfkdsh
I've never had fairies before in my game, can you tell? :P
Anyway, at least Eli is doing his job. And well, I might add, since his family-oriented trait allows him to teach the kids skills much faster than Envy could ever accomplish.
Eli: There will come a point when your mom will push you towards undertaking an epic quest of mythical proportions. And son, I know it sounds kind of insane, but when that time comes, just smile and nod, alright? Smile and nod... for you have been chosen because you are worthy of serving the dark one, and that is something to be proud of no matter how crazy your mission turns out to be.
Tranquil: ....
Eli: Oh, sorry. Was that too much? Just try saying 'smile', then.
So Envy's new thing is that whenever she visits the Alchemy shop and there's other customers in it, they automatically are doomed to become zombies if she has any elixirs in her inventory.
Envy: Bahahaha. Join my undead army, motherfucka!
...This poor bastard was not pleased with her new mission, clearly. lol.
And oh, what is this? A new victim...?
And he's paparazzi. Double score!
I don't know why I get such intense pleasure out of torturing them, lol.
Darrick: No, please, I was only--ahhh!
Darrick: ...Fucking hell.
Zombie Count: 4/10
Harmony kept rolling wishes to adopt something (anything), so I decided to get her a pony since... well, I've already had cats and dogs in this game and I figured it was time for something new.
Although then again, if I can't even keep cats and dogs from running away, the responsibility of a horse is probably going to be too much, lol. Expect it to gtfo of this legacy sometime soon.
Anyway, his name is Thunder :D He's adorable and I kind of love him to pieces already.
Envy: Alright, so according to my research, unicorns have a 40% chance to appear every night between 8:00pm and 5:00am and are mostly found near bodies of water. Are you writing this down...?
Harmony: Yes, mother. Please continue! This is so fascinating; unicorns are wicked cool, y'know? I can't wait to meet one!
I'm certain this poor girl has yet to know why her mother needs a unicorn, otherwise I doubt she'd be so obliging, lol.
Envy:
Uh oh. That wasn't planned, lol.
Envy: YOU. You poked holes in the condoms, didn't you? I SHOULD THROTTLE YOU, YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE FLEA. How dare you disobey my wishes!
Eli: Babe, I-I mean, My Lord, I'm sorry, I just... I really want a big family, and I just thought that maybe if you had more children, the chances of you finding the unicorn would be greatly increased and besides...
Eli: Babies, they're... they're a blessing. And I think that maybe if you just--
Envy: I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE A 'BLESSING'; DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS IS GOING TO DO TO MY VAGINA?!!
Eli: Jfc, this shrieking is going to rupture my ear drums one day.
It probably will. Sorry I got roped you into this insanity. Lol, no I'm not.
Oh god, how cute is this?!!
How have I never had horses before? Srsly.
Aww, and he even helps with the gardening! Which is necessary, btw, since the Collection Helper doesn't show mushrooms on the map (srsly, wtf tho), so Envy has to now grow her own glow orbs to make her zombie potions -___-
Anyway, so Story Progression gave me a pop up notifying me that Lucky got pregnant with her husband Chuck's baby, only to tell me five minutes later that the bastard broke up with her. Well, we can't have that now, can we...?
Envy: Hi. You're my sister's asshole of an ex-husband, yes?
Chuck: Look bitch, this is really none of your business. So why don't you just waddle your pregnant ass right outta here, yeah?
Envy: LOL U WANNA START? K.
Envy: YOU HAVE JUST EXPERIENCED THE WRATH OF HADES, MOTHERFUCKER. SCREW WITH MY FAMILY SOME MORE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
Chuck: *indistinguishable gurgling sounds*
And now, I leave you with this...
Envy: Oh jfc, this really doesn't feel like a normal birth...
...Because I like to continue to be cruel xD
The Legacy Continues Here