Forever & Ever 36
Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2| Part 33| Part 34| Part 35
20 minutes to show time.
The line up started off with Gazette and the boys who no one thought would even get this far, were nervously wandering around their dressing room. Mort’Rouge like a row of pale porcelain dolls stared at them as they moved about jittery and anxious.
“I saw Kai in the hall,” Uruha said doing various random stretches all of which he was doing incorrectly.
“Oh yeah?” Ruki kept making random AH OOOO AHH sounds as he tried to loosen up his voice.
“Mhm. He says he was going to watch since Lie:Death goes on last tonight.”
“Reita did you give him the tape like I asked?”
“What tape?” he looked up shocked.
“The tape with our songs. Did you give it to him?”
“No,” Reita shut his eyes tightly afraid that Ruki was going to hit him.
“Why would you give Kai a tape of our songs?” Aoi asked from the other side of the room where he leaned against the wall smoking yet again another cigarette.
“No reason,” Ruki replied quickly. Since Rey was in the room, he wasn’t going to say anything. Normally, he would just let Aoi know of his true intentions.
“GOD! I’M SO NERVOUS!” Reita suddenly shouted and buried his face into his hands.
“Just relax,” Aoi walked over to him and patted him on the shoulder.
“Ughhhhh…”
Just then, the girl who worked there came in carrying 4 boxes of pizza. She looked like she was going to be smooshed under the tower of them. Aoi who was actually the politest in the band, went to help her. “Easy there,” he laughed taking them from her and setting them down on the make-up counter. “What are all these for?”
Before she could answer, a chubby guy with frosted spiked hair came rushing in, heaving a bit from running over from the pizza place. He carried in one hand a case of Coke and in another a case of beer. “For the great Mort’Rouge!” he announced happily as he let the cases crash to the floor in heavy thud. He took a moment to catch his breath. Sweat trickled down his brow and he smelled a bit like one of those gamer guys one finds at porn stores. Ruki without even realizing it picked up an air freshener and sprayed him. “OH! Sorry about that. Normally, I put my cologne on but I rushed out of the house!” he laughed good-naturedly.
“Sorry, that was an impulse,” Ruki giggled.
“PIZZA?!” Reita got to his feet and rushed over to the boxes.
“Hey-hey, it’s for Mort’Rouge!”
Like a creepy ghost, one of the members of the silent band spoke up “Who…are….you?”
“THEY TALK?!” Reita was legitimately freaked out. He stared at them as if he were looking at them one might if an inanimate object suddenly could talk.
“My name is Sakai!” he wiped his sweaty palms on the sides of his cargo shorts and held it out for the talking porcelain doll to shake. He merely looked down at it and then back at Sakai’s face. It was clear that he wasn’t going to move.
Aoi and the girl looked at each other, communicating with their eyes a mutual feeling of just how stupid it all was. “Okay,” Aoi suddenly chimed in. “I get that it’s your stage persona to NOT TALK and have absolutely NO PERSONALITY but it’s really fucking dumb. I just have to get it out there. It’s dumb, painfully dumb.” If that wasn’t enough he added “Really fucking dumb.”
Uruha chuckled and smiled, excited by the confrontation and the potential drama that was going to ensue. But he was met only with disappointment when Mort’Rouge just stared at Aoi completely unaffected by his insults. Aoi looked like he was about to pull his hair out by just how ridiculous they were acting.
“DUMBBBBB,” he repeated as if they were hard of hearing.
“Uh…anyways,” Reita cut in. “Sorry Sakai, it looks like they aren’t warming up to you so…in that case, can we have the pizza? After we get off stage of course.”
“Who are you guys? I’m sorry I didn’t get to see the show yesterday.”
“Gazette! I’m the bassist Reita!” He folded his arms and introduced himself almost like a superhero would.
“Ruki! I’m the singer.” His smiled a cute bubbly smile and then immediately realizing what he was doing, forced his smile into a pseudo-badass pout.
“I’m Aoi, I play guitar,” he waved.
“I’m the other guitarist Uruha,” he smiled at him and stood next to Aoi.
“Rey, I play the drums.”
“Cool! I’m Sakai! I am a band manager. My last band broke up on me so I’m looking for some new talent.”
“And you are interested in them?” Aoi inquired. His disdain was easily heard in his voice.
“Yes. That’s why I’m here.”
“And you brought food to bribe them?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I doubt they eat.”
Reita laughed. “Don’t mind him. He’s being catty.”
“Oh,” the girl cut in checking her watch. “You are up in a couple minutes. I suggest you head on out.”
“WE’RE UP!” Ruki clapped his hands together.
“Hurry,” the girl begged.
“Wish us luck Sakai,” Reita smiled at him. “If you knew what was best for you, you’d watch us. We might just change your life.”
“Oh! I see! For a bunch of kids wearing homemade costumes, you actually seem pretty cool,” he said. His intentions with his statement were nice but it came off like a quasi-insult-compliment.
“You bet!” Reita laughed ignoring any part of his sentence that could be taken the wrong way. “Now, if you don’t mind, future Rock gods are coming through.”
Sakai like everyone else was immediately won over by Reita’s charm and stepping aside, patted him on the back as he made his way out the room and toward the stage.
“Good luck!” The girl shouted after them. When the five of them had left the room, she turned to Sakai and not caring that Mort’Rouge heard her said perkily “I want them to win the tournament! Aoi is so sexy, isn’t he?”
“Uhhhhhhhh…” Sakai felt a bit awkward talking to a girl about these things. Just to appease her, he agreed enthusiastically “He sure is!”
***
As they prepared to go on stage, Uruha who was always the first pointed forward to the other side where behind the curtain, Kai was standing there, ready to watch like he had promised. “Look,” he whispered to the others.
Each one of them dipped to the side to see what he was talking about. From Kai’s point of view, it was a bit comical the way they fanned out like that almost as if it were planned. He laughed warmly and waved at them. “Good luck!” he mouthed with two perky thumbs up.
Uruha led the way out and waved to the fans. Some of them had been to the show the night before and some were new. The ones that had recognized him started cheering loudly. Rey took his place behind the drums. Masking his nervousness, Reita threw his arm around Aoi and waved to the fans. Aoi exhilarated as always by the sound of the crowd, turned to him and playfully tried to peck him on the cheek but Reita seeing him move toward him quickly jumped back with comic fright causing the crowd to erupt to warm hearted laughter. Finally, Ruki who always came on last, walked on stage. Apparently, he had already garnered some popularity because a girl whose voice he didn’t recognize shouted out “RUKIIIIIII” in a really high pitch.
“So, it seems we are starting the tournament tonight…” he said into the mic. “I suppose you can all go home early then,” he joked. Some girls in the crowd chuckled. “No, I’m kidding. There are some great bands here tonight. We are honored to be here because we really shouldn’t be…” He smiled cutely causing yet another “KAWAIII” to erupt from the crowd. “Well, I should really shut up before someone in the back runs out here to yell at me.” More laughter.
From behind the curtain, Kai watched feeling himself growing anxious. “I’m sorry, can I stand next to you?” Someone whispered from behind him. It was Sakai.
“Sure.” Kai made room for him.
“Name’s Sakai.”
“Kai. Nice to meet you.”
“Who are you with?”
“Lie:Death.”
“Ahhh I see…Promising, aren’t ya?”
Kai just forced a polite smile and continued watching Ruki as he won the crowd over with his irresistible charm.
“Well, we are Gazette,” Ruki said finally before turning around and giving Rey the nod to start counting.
They were determined to win. That was evident. They started off immediately with so much energy that it felt like they had shot electricity into the whole venue. Even if there were people in the crowd that didn’t care for the songs or for Ruki’s voice, they couldn’t help but to be captivated by the sheer liveliness of the men on stage. None of them held back. Aoi as always flirted with the girls in the crowd and Uruha even at one point, almost climbed off the stage if it weren’t for a security guard pushing him back.
This was for sure the biggest crowd they had played in front of and they were going to take advantage of that opportunity as much as possible. Kai as he watched from a far was more impressed than he thought he would be. He knew that watching one’s own friends changed your way of viewing the show objectively but they were so entertaining, so refreshing. Of course, he could hear problems in their sound but even if they had these limitations, they seemed to push forward despite it. Reita was right Kai realized, they did make you feel like you were a part of it and as he watched, he more than anything just wanted to play the drums.
“I love’m!” Sakai announced with enthusiasm.
“Yeah, they are good…” Kai said in a low voice, his eyes not leaving the band on stage.
“They sound kinda messy but hey, they are still babies…”
“Yeah, they aren’t very organized…”
“Who is their leader, do you know?”
“Um,” Kai turned and looked at him. Thinking about his friends, he couldn’t quite put his finger on the likely candidate. “If I had to put my money on it, Ruki but…he’s kinda…”
“You know them well?”
“Well, 4 of them I was friends with back when I was teenager.”
“Oh,” Sakai nodded. “That’s cool.”
“Okay, this is our last song for the evening!” Ruki announced. “I want you all to get into it. Give me your all!!!!” The last song was particularly heavy and the members ran from every which way on the stage as the more enthusiastic girls in the crowd headbanged. At one point, Uruha almost ran right into Aoi and the two of them in a moment of intense amusement started laughing hysterically. Their unexpected joy within the moment filled Uruha with such an intense happiness he leaned forward and kissed Aoi quickly on the lips as if he were apologizing for almost colliding with him. Always the crowd pleaser, Aoi pretended to fan himself as if he burning up from blushing .
Uruha smiled his characteristic baby smile and for several seconds, the two of them felt as if everything between them was normal, each forgetting all the pain that they had felt the days before, each forgetting all the hurtful words. Right then and there on that stage, they were simply happy.
The music had that effect on all of them. It didn’t matter what sort of life anyone lived outside of that stage. It didn’t matter where you came from, who your parents were, how much money you had. Your real name didn’t matter. You were the person you wanted to be, the person that you truly were. And for that short time you were on stage or within that crowd, it was like an escape into the truth, away from reality and all its lies and distortions.
When the song finally ended and the guitar notes frizzed and buzzed, Ruki who at the point was on the floor looked up at the ceiling, shouted into his microphone “THANK YOU!!!!” And the crowd like them, was captivated and they screamed and shouted, calling out their name. “We love you,” Ruki said and letting his gaze drop, smiled at them sweetly. Getting to his feet, he said before dropping the microphone “We’re Gazette.”
***
Anna in her enthusiasm slapped the side of D’s arm repeatedly and almost painfully “Hey, hey, hey,” she said quickly and pointed at the stage. “I think that’s him. O.M.G. That’s him!!!” She started jumping up and down like a crazed fangirl. D’Marcus glancing at her quickly was a bit taken aback by how easily the cool suave Anna became so excited by the prospect of seeing someone she kinda-sorta knew go on stage in front of a sold-out crowd. She was like a mother watching her 5 year-old in his first play as the talking tree at the Kindergarten Arts Festival. “D’Marcus!! Look at him!!! Oh my god! He looks so cute! Like a Chinese-French whore or something! OMG!!!!”
One surprise followed another when D looked to the stage and watched Kai come out with his drumsticks in hand waving to the crowd with his trademarked dimpled smile. His hair was smoothed out to look somewhat like a bob and he wore thick black eyeliner around his eyes with purple smoky eyeshadow along with clean black lipstick that made his eyes look even larger. But perhaps what was more shocking was not so much the makeup but the fact that he was wearing a small tank top that deliberately showed his tiny thin stomach and on his arms he wore faux-fur arm warmers that made him as Anna aptly put look somewhat like a cheap prostitute. In America, he would easily be mistaken for one of those Asian girls that worked at those massage parlors that were in all actuality brothels.
“What the…” was all he could manage to say.
“Ha! He looks like something I would ask out on a date,” Anna joked-referring in a roundabout way that Kai looked somewhat like a woman.
The rest of Lie:Death took the stage with their instruments in hand and Kai, shouting out loudly counted: “1! 2! 3! 4!” and started pounding away at the drums. Without a doubt, they were the cleanest and most professional band in the tournament and as soon as the first song was done, everyone knew that their competition Mort’Rouge, who had gone before could hardly earn such moniker. It was evident that Lie:Death was the better band and anyone who voted otherwise was either a friend of one of the porcelain dolls or just had a grudge against Lie:Death.
D’Marcus in all actuality, could care less for the music and he found that if he wasn’t constantly staring at Kai sitting there pounding away that he would have been bored out of his mind. He preferred Gazette much better even though he didn’t remember at all that that was the band with Kai’s friends. He wouldn’t even recognize Ruki or Aoi-who he had met earlier if he had seen them again. It had been so long ago not to mention on stage with all the make-up on, they seemed entirely different. With Gazette at least, they were fun and exciting and it was somewhat amusing how Anna through the whole thing kept asking D if the blonde guitarist was a girl or not to which he replied emphatically “they are all men.” But she was hopeful, wishing deep down that that particular beauty was a member of the fairer sex.
With Lie:Death’s last song, the tournament for that night had ended and as they took their bows and exited the stage, the character that was Cat Fuzz came out looking today more like a leather daddy than an Old Skool reject. He went through the voting rules and politely (as was in his Japanese nature) asked the fans to leave. On their way out, they received the voting card with the bands’ names.
“I’m voting for Gazette and Lie:Death,” Anna said looking at the card. “They were my favorites. Who are you voting for?”
“The same. Although I should probably vote for the band that went against Gazette so that Lie:Death has an easier win,” D laughed.
The girl that was handing out the cards to the fans stared at them as she gave them each one. Naturally, it was a bit strange to see a black man and a blonde white woman at an underground Visual Kei concert frequented mostly by Japanese girls.
“Um, excuse me,” D said to her. Hearing his wellspoken Japanese, she was even more weirded out. “I’m a friend of one of the musicians. Is it okay if I go back there and talk to him.”
Normally, she would say “Wait outside. I’m not allowed to let people go back there” but she had make an exception for him. Like a great deal of other Japanese people, there was something deep down that naturally found Americans kinda cool, especially big tall Black guys. She had never even seen one in person. “Let me see what I can do. I have to pass these all out first.”
“Thank you,” D bowed politely.
“Please wait over there,” she pointed to the opposite wall. “And once I am done, I will go back there and ask.”
D and Anna thanked her and then walked over to where she had asked them to go and waited for her to finish. Once all the fans had left the venue and placed their votes into the box, she headed to the back to ask Cat Fuzz if it was okay to let in anyone. With a shrug, he replied “K” and continued on his business schmoozing up the reporters that covered the event.
“You can go,” the girl said when she came back. As they followed her down the cramped hallway littered with all sorts of crazy graffiti, she asked “Who’s your friend.”
“His name is Kai. He plays drums in Lie:Death.”
“Ohhhh him,” she nodded. “He’s very nice.”
Anna chiming in asked excitedly. “Do you think we can meet Gazette too?”
“Um,” the girl glanced at D and seeing her uncertain eyes on him, he shrugged.
“She really likes them,” was all he said.
“I’m not supposed to let fans back here…”
“Ohhhh pretty pleaseeeee. Besides, they aren’t really famous. I could make their day, you know. They probably never had a real legit fan.”
The girl couldn’t quite understand what Anna was saying. Her Japanese was a bit off, but she got the gist that she was trying to convince her based on the premise that Gazette was really young. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you~~~” she sang.
The chaos that consumed the backstage had reached its peak as all the musicians done for the day either hulled out their equipment or sat around talking and making drinking plans. Managers and reporters as well as crew members walked back and forth crowding up the hallways and making it difficult to move around. “I think Lie:Death is in this room.” The girl cracked open one of the mysterious grey doors and peered in. “Is Kai in here?” she asked.
“I think he went to go talk to his friends,” one of the members replied.
“Friends?”
“Gazette.”
“Well, that solves two things!” She chirped perkily as she shut the door behind her and smiled at the two foreigners who were already attracting a lot of attention. Fortunately for them, they were at a Visual Kei venue and most of the people were far more open-minded than others in Japan. “Come with me.”
They followed her to another door in which she did the same, poking her head in and asking for Kai. This time, he was there along with all the members of Gazette and Sakai. “You have a couple of friends here to see you.”
“Oh!” Kai laughed. “Two foreigners?”
“Yes.”
“Let them in.”
As soon as Kai had said the word “foreigner,” his friends knew immediately that he was talking about D, the guy they had seen turn Kai into a pile of mush on the phone when he had asked him to lend him his car. If they were sitting, they moved to the edge of their seat. If they were standing, they stood still and stared at the door. Rey who was completely oblivious to the whole affair just stared off and Sakai, noticing immediately the change over the other four became tense with anticipation to see what all the fuss was all about.
Of course, with everyone staring at the door like that, D’Marcus and Anna felt really strange and uncomfortable when they entered. Anna, who normally would act cool and laid-back, would perhaps in situation like this with all the attention on her, whip out a cigarette and light it nonchalantly; she was however star struck, and she clapped her hands together like a girl meeting her boy band idol. “HI!” she squealed excitedly in a high pitched voice as she looked across the room at the Gazette members resting her eyes finally on Uruha who returned her gaze with a confused pout. “I totally voted for you guys!”
“Thank you,” Ruki said to her. And of course, being in the presence of a beautiful exotic woman completely changed his demeanor and he presumed the attitude of the cool, aloof musician-which of course was ridiculous because he looked like a murderous Raggedy Andy Doll.
“Hey there,” D waved to Kai. His discomfort was evident in the tenseness of his body and the smile that he forced. Kai, going up to him hugged him trying to make him feel more at ease but instead, it just made everyone in the room more hyper aware of their relationship. D, somewhat awkwardly patted him on the back. “You did great.”
“Thank you,” Kai looked up at him with his painted eyes, smiled warmly.
Seeing his made up face up close, D was reminded again of his strange appearance. But he wasn’t really all that amused by it. Sure the sleeves were strange and Kai had since removed them but to D, he looked extremely attractive and actually sexier. Looking up at him now with his big brown sultry eyes, D for a second forgot where he was and just stared at him, somewhat gaping. Seeing immediately the change in his expression, Kai playfully smacked him on the shoulder in the same nervous weird way he had done the last time they had seen each other and said “Thanks for coming. And it’s nice to see you again, Anna.” Turning to her, he bowed politely.
“Nice to see you too,” she returned his bow.
“Well, forgive me for being rude,” Kai cutely cringed and rubbed the back of his neck. “It seems I’m always forgetting ummm…but these are my friends. This is Reita,” he pointed to the nearest one to him. Reita was sitting on the couch smooshed against the arm of it by Ruki who insisted on sitting extremely close to him.
“Hi, I play the bass. Name’s Reita. I’m the guy that Kai looks up to,” he joked.
Kai giggled in response. “That’s Ruki.”
“Hey,” he smirked but he wasn’t at all looking at D, he was completely focused on Anna w ho waved at him, finding him more baby like than he would have liked.
“That’s Rey. I’ve only just met him myself.”
“Hi,” Rey said with a generic smile.
“That’s Aoi.”
“We’ve met.”
“Oh yeah…I remember now…” D smiled at him as the memory of running into him on the street with his uncle and Kawai came back to him.
“That’s Uruha.”
He was standing there with his arms folded behind his back. “Hello.”
“Shit…you’re a boy…” Anna couldn’t help but let out.
Uruha tilted his head at her. “Of course I’m a boy.”
“But you’re so beautiful!”
“Hey hey hey,” Aoi cut in with a laugh. “You stay away from him okay, Pretty Lady?”
“Ughhh…I was hoping you were a girl….” She groaned.
“Why?” Uruha asked.
Aoi chuckled. “I think she’s a lesbian,” he said to which Anna replied with an affirmative nod.
“Oh. I’m sorry. Even if you weren’t, I’m actually in a homosexual relationship with him,” he pointed to Aoi. Uruha’s awkward bluntness caused the room to erupt in laughter.
“REALLY?” Anna smiled and looked at D giving him a look that without saying anything, added to what everyone was already thinking about him and Kai.
“Um…well, please make yourself at home,” Kai said with a sweet dimpled smile. “OH! And I’m sorry! I forgot to introduce Sakai! This is Sakai,” he giggled and gestured to him. “He is looking to be Gazette’s band manager but they just met him tonight.”
“Hey! Don’t ruin my chances by giving away my plans!” he replied with a good-natured laugh. “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you although our forgetful Kai seemed to have forgotten to tell us who you are.”
“OH!” Kai giggled once again. His friends who knew him well stared at him a bit taken aback by how much he was reduced to the act merely by the presence of this man. “This is D’Marcus and his friend Anna.” He gestured to them with two open hands playfully and bowed as if he were apologizing for a great mistake in not introducing them sooner. “Well, I’m glad you came actually, D! I was hoping if you could help me with something…”
“You always need a favor,” D smiled in return.
“Do I?!”He rubbed the back of his neck once more embarrassedly. “I’m sorry!”
“I’m just teasing. What do you need?”
“There are a couple of amps that I need help moving and since you’re so strong…it won’t be much of a problem. Normally Yukio asks me to do it since he thinks that as drummer, my fingers aren’t as precious as his,” he laughed despite the fact that that in reality, the assumption pissed him off and made him feel like Yukio was degrading his position.
“That sounds like bullshit,” D replied. “Yeah, I’ll move them. Right now?”
“If that’s not too bothersome.”
Turning to Anna, D asked her if it was okay to wait in there with Gazette while he helped him out. Naturally, star struck Anna agreed and proceeded to talk the boys into taking pictures with her. She was certain one day they were going to be popular and she wasn’t going to miss her opportunity.
D followed Kai out to the hallway and down several confusing turns to which he found himself finally in a back room that was loaded with various equipment. Kai pointed to the amp and opening the back door went to go fetch Lie:Death’s van. Backing into the alley, he opened the doors to the rear of the van and went to hold open the door for D as he hauled out the bulky amps with surprisingly little effort.
“Wow, you’re so strong,” Kai laughed unable to prevent himself from staring at D’s well formed and muscular body. There was a part of him that still couldn’t get over the intimidation he felt when he looked at him despite the fact that D’Marcus was in all actuality an extremely gentle person.
“That’s the last one right?” D said as he pushed the massive amp into the dark of the van, snuggling it up next to the other equipment making sure to avoid the drums set back there.
Raising his eyes to him somewhat lately, he smiled widely “Yeah, that’s it.”
It was just the two of them standing in that back alley. Most of the fans had gone home as well as a good portion of the staff and the musicians who either went back to crash after the long day or to the local bars and pubs. “Um…Kai, can I tell you something real quick.” He was smiling which meant to Kai, that whatever he was about to say that it wasn’t about them.
“Sure.”
“If you can, leave your band and go play with your friends.”
“What?” Even though Kai was smiling as usual, he didn’t find D’s suggestion light or amusing.
“Look, you don’t seem very happy with your band and not to mention, I think even though the band you are in now is better, Gazette in the end, will be more successful. I know you don’t have to believe me. I mean, what the hell do I know? I can’t even tell the difference between a bass or a guitar,” he laughed in spite of himself. “But, they are just far more entertaining and free and fun and I know that, you will be happier.”
“D…It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is.”
The smile disappeared from Kai’s face as he stared off into the alley, feeling a frustration rise in him toward what he perceived to be D’s lecturing.
“Like I said, I don’t know much about rock music or about this visual stuff but…I do know that people always tell people to follow what makes them happy and not what they will be successful at and they say that for a reason. I mean think about it, say if you do succeed and you do make some good songs or whatever, you aren’t going to be happy. And in the end, who gives a fuck if you succeed if you aren’t happy getting there?” He folded his arms and sighed. “Saying this makes me feel like I’m on one of those corny teenage dramas…” he laughed and shook his head. “Kai, I wouldn’t say anything if I didn’t think that it would be good for you.”
“I know,” Kai nodded but he was evidently upset. He knew that deep down he was right and yet at the same time, he was afraid to make the move and he was afraid for what he was risking. He really wanted to leave Lie:Death and join Gazette but at the moment, he wasn’t sure if he was brave enough. Living like this, playing in a genre like this was risk in itself. It was hard finding a band, hard staying in one, hard making money even if you did garner some popularity, you had to find the pay where you could, and the crowds could be fickle and everyone thought you were a freak or some half-made idol and no one really respected you no matter how good you played or how hard you worked. Just entering and staying in it was hard enough. But if he failed at this, what was really left for him? With Lie:Death, he would be happy enough just being able to make a living as a Visual Kei drummer, but if he left Lie:Death and joined Gazette and they in turn failed, he would have to leave Visual Kei altogether and go find himself a new dream and a new identity. But at the same time, if Gazette succeeded and he was playing with them, playing with his friends, he knew he would find his ultimate happiness. It was a gamble that nearly froze him into inaction.
“Kai, are you okay?”
Lying, he nodded. “I’m fine.”
“What about it is making you unsure?”
“The risk.”
“Sometimes you have to take a risk.”
Kai smiled sweetly and looked up at him. “I know. I understand but…that doesn’t make it an easy decision.”
“Go with your friends. You love them right?”
“I do. D…” Kai sighed. “I’m a coward,” he laughed.
“I’m a coward too,” he laughed with him. “I guess to inspire you, I’ll take a risk and say that you with those smoky eyes is kinda a turn on.” He was trying to make him laugh and to make him feel better but at the same time, he really wanted to get that off his chest.
Kai blushed and cutely buried his face in his hand, peaking out of the spaces between his fingers. Quickly, he snatched his hands away from his face and straightened up. “I don’t know why but I always act like a stupid little girl around you,” he shook his head disapprovingly at himself acting as best as he could like a mature man.
D leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Kai closed his eyes as he felt his large soft lips press up against his brow. “I just want what’s best for you,” he whispered.
“You’re always looking out for me,” Kai forgetting where he was, reached forward and hooked his finger on the edge of D’s pants.
“That’s what you do when love someone right.” Grabbing Kai’s hand in his, he squeezed it tightly.
“You love me?” Kai couldn’t contain the smile that arched across his face.
“Isn’t it obvious?” D laughed shyly.
“You’re shaking.” He giggled and opening his eyes, looked up at him.
“I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be.” As the two of them stood alone, in an empty dirty alleyway late at night, Kai feeling as if he instead was on cloud nine, smiled beautifully up at him and said without any reservations “I love you too.”
[A/N So, I'm trying out the new posting stuff...tell me what you all think. The indentations for the paragraphs is gone and that irks me a bit because...well, I'm so used to seeing paragraphs indented!!!! I know this seems like a really long night indeed but the next part starts off with Aoi and Fuwa's scene just so you know. Also, I've been working on that one shot for my sis so I'm sorry that that has been delaying the updates for this somewhat.]
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2| Part 33| Part 34| Part 35
20 minutes to show time.
The line up started off with Gazette and the boys who no one thought would even get this far, were nervously wandering around their dressing room. Mort’Rouge like a row of pale porcelain dolls stared at them as they moved about jittery and anxious.
“I saw Kai in the hall,” Uruha said doing various random stretches all of which he was doing incorrectly.
“Oh yeah?” Ruki kept making random AH OOOO AHH sounds as he tried to loosen up his voice.
“Mhm. He says he was going to watch since Lie:Death goes on last tonight.”
“Reita did you give him the tape like I asked?”
“What tape?” he looked up shocked.
“The tape with our songs. Did you give it to him?”
“No,” Reita shut his eyes tightly afraid that Ruki was going to hit him.
“Why would you give Kai a tape of our songs?” Aoi asked from the other side of the room where he leaned against the wall smoking yet again another cigarette.
“No reason,” Ruki replied quickly. Since Rey was in the room, he wasn’t going to say anything. Normally, he would just let Aoi know of his true intentions.
“GOD! I’M SO NERVOUS!” Reita suddenly shouted and buried his face into his hands.
“Just relax,” Aoi walked over to him and patted him on the shoulder.
“Ughhhhh…”
Just then, the girl who worked there came in carrying 4 boxes of pizza. She looked like she was going to be smooshed under the tower of them. Aoi who was actually the politest in the band, went to help her. “Easy there,” he laughed taking them from her and setting them down on the make-up counter. “What are all these for?”
Before she could answer, a chubby guy with frosted spiked hair came rushing in, heaving a bit from running over from the pizza place. He carried in one hand a case of Coke and in another a case of beer. “For the great Mort’Rouge!” he announced happily as he let the cases crash to the floor in heavy thud. He took a moment to catch his breath. Sweat trickled down his brow and he smelled a bit like one of those gamer guys one finds at porn stores. Ruki without even realizing it picked up an air freshener and sprayed him. “OH! Sorry about that. Normally, I put my cologne on but I rushed out of the house!” he laughed good-naturedly.
“Sorry, that was an impulse,” Ruki giggled.
“PIZZA?!” Reita got to his feet and rushed over to the boxes.
“Hey-hey, it’s for Mort’Rouge!”
Like a creepy ghost, one of the members of the silent band spoke up “Who…are….you?”
“THEY TALK?!” Reita was legitimately freaked out. He stared at them as if he were looking at them one might if an inanimate object suddenly could talk.
“My name is Sakai!” he wiped his sweaty palms on the sides of his cargo shorts and held it out for the talking porcelain doll to shake. He merely looked down at it and then back at Sakai’s face. It was clear that he wasn’t going to move.
Aoi and the girl looked at each other, communicating with their eyes a mutual feeling of just how stupid it all was. “Okay,” Aoi suddenly chimed in. “I get that it’s your stage persona to NOT TALK and have absolutely NO PERSONALITY but it’s really fucking dumb. I just have to get it out there. It’s dumb, painfully dumb.” If that wasn’t enough he added “Really fucking dumb.”
Uruha chuckled and smiled, excited by the confrontation and the potential drama that was going to ensue. But he was met only with disappointment when Mort’Rouge just stared at Aoi completely unaffected by his insults. Aoi looked like he was about to pull his hair out by just how ridiculous they were acting.
“DUMBBBBB,” he repeated as if they were hard of hearing.
“Uh…anyways,” Reita cut in. “Sorry Sakai, it looks like they aren’t warming up to you so…in that case, can we have the pizza? After we get off stage of course.”
“Who are you guys? I’m sorry I didn’t get to see the show yesterday.”
“Gazette! I’m the bassist Reita!” He folded his arms and introduced himself almost like a superhero would.
“Ruki! I’m the singer.” His smiled a cute bubbly smile and then immediately realizing what he was doing, forced his smile into a pseudo-badass pout.
“I’m Aoi, I play guitar,” he waved.
“I’m the other guitarist Uruha,” he smiled at him and stood next to Aoi.
“Rey, I play the drums.”
“Cool! I’m Sakai! I am a band manager. My last band broke up on me so I’m looking for some new talent.”
“And you are interested in them?” Aoi inquired. His disdain was easily heard in his voice.
“Yes. That’s why I’m here.”
“And you brought food to bribe them?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I doubt they eat.”
Reita laughed. “Don’t mind him. He’s being catty.”
“Oh,” the girl cut in checking her watch. “You are up in a couple minutes. I suggest you head on out.”
“WE’RE UP!” Ruki clapped his hands together.
“Hurry,” the girl begged.
“Wish us luck Sakai,” Reita smiled at him. “If you knew what was best for you, you’d watch us. We might just change your life.”
“Oh! I see! For a bunch of kids wearing homemade costumes, you actually seem pretty cool,” he said. His intentions with his statement were nice but it came off like a quasi-insult-compliment.
“You bet!” Reita laughed ignoring any part of his sentence that could be taken the wrong way. “Now, if you don’t mind, future Rock gods are coming through.”
Sakai like everyone else was immediately won over by Reita’s charm and stepping aside, patted him on the back as he made his way out the room and toward the stage.
“Good luck!” The girl shouted after them. When the five of them had left the room, she turned to Sakai and not caring that Mort’Rouge heard her said perkily “I want them to win the tournament! Aoi is so sexy, isn’t he?”
“Uhhhhhhhh…” Sakai felt a bit awkward talking to a girl about these things. Just to appease her, he agreed enthusiastically “He sure is!”
***
As they prepared to go on stage, Uruha who was always the first pointed forward to the other side where behind the curtain, Kai was standing there, ready to watch like he had promised. “Look,” he whispered to the others.
Each one of them dipped to the side to see what he was talking about. From Kai’s point of view, it was a bit comical the way they fanned out like that almost as if it were planned. He laughed warmly and waved at them. “Good luck!” he mouthed with two perky thumbs up.
Uruha led the way out and waved to the fans. Some of them had been to the show the night before and some were new. The ones that had recognized him started cheering loudly. Rey took his place behind the drums. Masking his nervousness, Reita threw his arm around Aoi and waved to the fans. Aoi exhilarated as always by the sound of the crowd, turned to him and playfully tried to peck him on the cheek but Reita seeing him move toward him quickly jumped back with comic fright causing the crowd to erupt to warm hearted laughter. Finally, Ruki who always came on last, walked on stage. Apparently, he had already garnered some popularity because a girl whose voice he didn’t recognize shouted out “RUKIIIIIII” in a really high pitch.
“So, it seems we are starting the tournament tonight…” he said into the mic. “I suppose you can all go home early then,” he joked. Some girls in the crowd chuckled. “No, I’m kidding. There are some great bands here tonight. We are honored to be here because we really shouldn’t be…” He smiled cutely causing yet another “KAWAIII” to erupt from the crowd. “Well, I should really shut up before someone in the back runs out here to yell at me.” More laughter.
From behind the curtain, Kai watched feeling himself growing anxious. “I’m sorry, can I stand next to you?” Someone whispered from behind him. It was Sakai.
“Sure.” Kai made room for him.
“Name’s Sakai.”
“Kai. Nice to meet you.”
“Who are you with?”
“Lie:Death.”
“Ahhh I see…Promising, aren’t ya?”
Kai just forced a polite smile and continued watching Ruki as he won the crowd over with his irresistible charm.
“Well, we are Gazette,” Ruki said finally before turning around and giving Rey the nod to start counting.
They were determined to win. That was evident. They started off immediately with so much energy that it felt like they had shot electricity into the whole venue. Even if there were people in the crowd that didn’t care for the songs or for Ruki’s voice, they couldn’t help but to be captivated by the sheer liveliness of the men on stage. None of them held back. Aoi as always flirted with the girls in the crowd and Uruha even at one point, almost climbed off the stage if it weren’t for a security guard pushing him back.
This was for sure the biggest crowd they had played in front of and they were going to take advantage of that opportunity as much as possible. Kai as he watched from a far was more impressed than he thought he would be. He knew that watching one’s own friends changed your way of viewing the show objectively but they were so entertaining, so refreshing. Of course, he could hear problems in their sound but even if they had these limitations, they seemed to push forward despite it. Reita was right Kai realized, they did make you feel like you were a part of it and as he watched, he more than anything just wanted to play the drums.
“I love’m!” Sakai announced with enthusiasm.
“Yeah, they are good…” Kai said in a low voice, his eyes not leaving the band on stage.
“They sound kinda messy but hey, they are still babies…”
“Yeah, they aren’t very organized…”
“Who is their leader, do you know?”
“Um,” Kai turned and looked at him. Thinking about his friends, he couldn’t quite put his finger on the likely candidate. “If I had to put my money on it, Ruki but…he’s kinda…”
“You know them well?”
“Well, 4 of them I was friends with back when I was teenager.”
“Oh,” Sakai nodded. “That’s cool.”
“Okay, this is our last song for the evening!” Ruki announced. “I want you all to get into it. Give me your all!!!!” The last song was particularly heavy and the members ran from every which way on the stage as the more enthusiastic girls in the crowd headbanged. At one point, Uruha almost ran right into Aoi and the two of them in a moment of intense amusement started laughing hysterically. Their unexpected joy within the moment filled Uruha with such an intense happiness he leaned forward and kissed Aoi quickly on the lips as if he were apologizing for almost colliding with him. Always the crowd pleaser, Aoi pretended to fan himself as if he burning up from blushing .
Uruha smiled his characteristic baby smile and for several seconds, the two of them felt as if everything between them was normal, each forgetting all the pain that they had felt the days before, each forgetting all the hurtful words. Right then and there on that stage, they were simply happy.
The music had that effect on all of them. It didn’t matter what sort of life anyone lived outside of that stage. It didn’t matter where you came from, who your parents were, how much money you had. Your real name didn’t matter. You were the person you wanted to be, the person that you truly were. And for that short time you were on stage or within that crowd, it was like an escape into the truth, away from reality and all its lies and distortions.
When the song finally ended and the guitar notes frizzed and buzzed, Ruki who at the point was on the floor looked up at the ceiling, shouted into his microphone “THANK YOU!!!!” And the crowd like them, was captivated and they screamed and shouted, calling out their name. “We love you,” Ruki said and letting his gaze drop, smiled at them sweetly. Getting to his feet, he said before dropping the microphone “We’re Gazette.”
***
Anna in her enthusiasm slapped the side of D’s arm repeatedly and almost painfully “Hey, hey, hey,” she said quickly and pointed at the stage. “I think that’s him. O.M.G. That’s him!!!” She started jumping up and down like a crazed fangirl. D’Marcus glancing at her quickly was a bit taken aback by how easily the cool suave Anna became so excited by the prospect of seeing someone she kinda-sorta knew go on stage in front of a sold-out crowd. She was like a mother watching her 5 year-old in his first play as the talking tree at the Kindergarten Arts Festival. “D’Marcus!! Look at him!!! Oh my god! He looks so cute! Like a Chinese-French whore or something! OMG!!!!”
One surprise followed another when D looked to the stage and watched Kai come out with his drumsticks in hand waving to the crowd with his trademarked dimpled smile. His hair was smoothed out to look somewhat like a bob and he wore thick black eyeliner around his eyes with purple smoky eyeshadow along with clean black lipstick that made his eyes look even larger. But perhaps what was more shocking was not so much the makeup but the fact that he was wearing a small tank top that deliberately showed his tiny thin stomach and on his arms he wore faux-fur arm warmers that made him as Anna aptly put look somewhat like a cheap prostitute. In America, he would easily be mistaken for one of those Asian girls that worked at those massage parlors that were in all actuality brothels.
“What the…” was all he could manage to say.
“Ha! He looks like something I would ask out on a date,” Anna joked-referring in a roundabout way that Kai looked somewhat like a woman.
The rest of Lie:Death took the stage with their instruments in hand and Kai, shouting out loudly counted: “1! 2! 3! 4!” and started pounding away at the drums. Without a doubt, they were the cleanest and most professional band in the tournament and as soon as the first song was done, everyone knew that their competition Mort’Rouge, who had gone before could hardly earn such moniker. It was evident that Lie:Death was the better band and anyone who voted otherwise was either a friend of one of the porcelain dolls or just had a grudge against Lie:Death.
D’Marcus in all actuality, could care less for the music and he found that if he wasn’t constantly staring at Kai sitting there pounding away that he would have been bored out of his mind. He preferred Gazette much better even though he didn’t remember at all that that was the band with Kai’s friends. He wouldn’t even recognize Ruki or Aoi-who he had met earlier if he had seen them again. It had been so long ago not to mention on stage with all the make-up on, they seemed entirely different. With Gazette at least, they were fun and exciting and it was somewhat amusing how Anna through the whole thing kept asking D if the blonde guitarist was a girl or not to which he replied emphatically “they are all men.” But she was hopeful, wishing deep down that that particular beauty was a member of the fairer sex.
With Lie:Death’s last song, the tournament for that night had ended and as they took their bows and exited the stage, the character that was Cat Fuzz came out looking today more like a leather daddy than an Old Skool reject. He went through the voting rules and politely (as was in his Japanese nature) asked the fans to leave. On their way out, they received the voting card with the bands’ names.
“I’m voting for Gazette and Lie:Death,” Anna said looking at the card. “They were my favorites. Who are you voting for?”
“The same. Although I should probably vote for the band that went against Gazette so that Lie:Death has an easier win,” D laughed.
The girl that was handing out the cards to the fans stared at them as she gave them each one. Naturally, it was a bit strange to see a black man and a blonde white woman at an underground Visual Kei concert frequented mostly by Japanese girls.
“Um, excuse me,” D said to her. Hearing his wellspoken Japanese, she was even more weirded out. “I’m a friend of one of the musicians. Is it okay if I go back there and talk to him.”
Normally, she would say “Wait outside. I’m not allowed to let people go back there” but she had make an exception for him. Like a great deal of other Japanese people, there was something deep down that naturally found Americans kinda cool, especially big tall Black guys. She had never even seen one in person. “Let me see what I can do. I have to pass these all out first.”
“Thank you,” D bowed politely.
“Please wait over there,” she pointed to the opposite wall. “And once I am done, I will go back there and ask.”
D and Anna thanked her and then walked over to where she had asked them to go and waited for her to finish. Once all the fans had left the venue and placed their votes into the box, she headed to the back to ask Cat Fuzz if it was okay to let in anyone. With a shrug, he replied “K” and continued on his business schmoozing up the reporters that covered the event.
“You can go,” the girl said when she came back. As they followed her down the cramped hallway littered with all sorts of crazy graffiti, she asked “Who’s your friend.”
“His name is Kai. He plays drums in Lie:Death.”
“Ohhhh him,” she nodded. “He’s very nice.”
Anna chiming in asked excitedly. “Do you think we can meet Gazette too?”
“Um,” the girl glanced at D and seeing her uncertain eyes on him, he shrugged.
“She really likes them,” was all he said.
“I’m not supposed to let fans back here…”
“Ohhhh pretty pleaseeeee. Besides, they aren’t really famous. I could make their day, you know. They probably never had a real legit fan.”
The girl couldn’t quite understand what Anna was saying. Her Japanese was a bit off, but she got the gist that she was trying to convince her based on the premise that Gazette was really young. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you~~~” she sang.
The chaos that consumed the backstage had reached its peak as all the musicians done for the day either hulled out their equipment or sat around talking and making drinking plans. Managers and reporters as well as crew members walked back and forth crowding up the hallways and making it difficult to move around. “I think Lie:Death is in this room.” The girl cracked open one of the mysterious grey doors and peered in. “Is Kai in here?” she asked.
“I think he went to go talk to his friends,” one of the members replied.
“Friends?”
“Gazette.”
“Well, that solves two things!” She chirped perkily as she shut the door behind her and smiled at the two foreigners who were already attracting a lot of attention. Fortunately for them, they were at a Visual Kei venue and most of the people were far more open-minded than others in Japan. “Come with me.”
They followed her to another door in which she did the same, poking her head in and asking for Kai. This time, he was there along with all the members of Gazette and Sakai. “You have a couple of friends here to see you.”
“Oh!” Kai laughed. “Two foreigners?”
“Yes.”
“Let them in.”
As soon as Kai had said the word “foreigner,” his friends knew immediately that he was talking about D, the guy they had seen turn Kai into a pile of mush on the phone when he had asked him to lend him his car. If they were sitting, they moved to the edge of their seat. If they were standing, they stood still and stared at the door. Rey who was completely oblivious to the whole affair just stared off and Sakai, noticing immediately the change over the other four became tense with anticipation to see what all the fuss was all about.
Of course, with everyone staring at the door like that, D’Marcus and Anna felt really strange and uncomfortable when they entered. Anna, who normally would act cool and laid-back, would perhaps in situation like this with all the attention on her, whip out a cigarette and light it nonchalantly; she was however star struck, and she clapped her hands together like a girl meeting her boy band idol. “HI!” she squealed excitedly in a high pitched voice as she looked across the room at the Gazette members resting her eyes finally on Uruha who returned her gaze with a confused pout. “I totally voted for you guys!”
“Thank you,” Ruki said to her. And of course, being in the presence of a beautiful exotic woman completely changed his demeanor and he presumed the attitude of the cool, aloof musician-which of course was ridiculous because he looked like a murderous Raggedy Andy Doll.
“Hey there,” D waved to Kai. His discomfort was evident in the tenseness of his body and the smile that he forced. Kai, going up to him hugged him trying to make him feel more at ease but instead, it just made everyone in the room more hyper aware of their relationship. D, somewhat awkwardly patted him on the back. “You did great.”
“Thank you,” Kai looked up at him with his painted eyes, smiled warmly.
Seeing his made up face up close, D was reminded again of his strange appearance. But he wasn’t really all that amused by it. Sure the sleeves were strange and Kai had since removed them but to D, he looked extremely attractive and actually sexier. Looking up at him now with his big brown sultry eyes, D for a second forgot where he was and just stared at him, somewhat gaping. Seeing immediately the change in his expression, Kai playfully smacked him on the shoulder in the same nervous weird way he had done the last time they had seen each other and said “Thanks for coming. And it’s nice to see you again, Anna.” Turning to her, he bowed politely.
“Nice to see you too,” she returned his bow.
“Well, forgive me for being rude,” Kai cutely cringed and rubbed the back of his neck. “It seems I’m always forgetting ummm…but these are my friends. This is Reita,” he pointed to the nearest one to him. Reita was sitting on the couch smooshed against the arm of it by Ruki who insisted on sitting extremely close to him.
“Hi, I play the bass. Name’s Reita. I’m the guy that Kai looks up to,” he joked.
Kai giggled in response. “That’s Ruki.”
“Hey,” he smirked but he wasn’t at all looking at D, he was completely focused on Anna w ho waved at him, finding him more baby like than he would have liked.
“That’s Rey. I’ve only just met him myself.”
“Hi,” Rey said with a generic smile.
“That’s Aoi.”
“We’ve met.”
“Oh yeah…I remember now…” D smiled at him as the memory of running into him on the street with his uncle and Kawai came back to him.
“That’s Uruha.”
He was standing there with his arms folded behind his back. “Hello.”
“Shit…you’re a boy…” Anna couldn’t help but let out.
Uruha tilted his head at her. “Of course I’m a boy.”
“But you’re so beautiful!”
“Hey hey hey,” Aoi cut in with a laugh. “You stay away from him okay, Pretty Lady?”
“Ughhh…I was hoping you were a girl….” She groaned.
“Why?” Uruha asked.
Aoi chuckled. “I think she’s a lesbian,” he said to which Anna replied with an affirmative nod.
“Oh. I’m sorry. Even if you weren’t, I’m actually in a homosexual relationship with him,” he pointed to Aoi. Uruha’s awkward bluntness caused the room to erupt in laughter.
“REALLY?” Anna smiled and looked at D giving him a look that without saying anything, added to what everyone was already thinking about him and Kai.
“Um…well, please make yourself at home,” Kai said with a sweet dimpled smile. “OH! And I’m sorry! I forgot to introduce Sakai! This is Sakai,” he giggled and gestured to him. “He is looking to be Gazette’s band manager but they just met him tonight.”
“Hey! Don’t ruin my chances by giving away my plans!” he replied with a good-natured laugh. “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you although our forgetful Kai seemed to have forgotten to tell us who you are.”
“OH!” Kai giggled once again. His friends who knew him well stared at him a bit taken aback by how much he was reduced to the act merely by the presence of this man. “This is D’Marcus and his friend Anna.” He gestured to them with two open hands playfully and bowed as if he were apologizing for a great mistake in not introducing them sooner. “Well, I’m glad you came actually, D! I was hoping if you could help me with something…”
“You always need a favor,” D smiled in return.
“Do I?!”He rubbed the back of his neck once more embarrassedly. “I’m sorry!”
“I’m just teasing. What do you need?”
“There are a couple of amps that I need help moving and since you’re so strong…it won’t be much of a problem. Normally Yukio asks me to do it since he thinks that as drummer, my fingers aren’t as precious as his,” he laughed despite the fact that that in reality, the assumption pissed him off and made him feel like Yukio was degrading his position.
“That sounds like bullshit,” D replied. “Yeah, I’ll move them. Right now?”
“If that’s not too bothersome.”
Turning to Anna, D asked her if it was okay to wait in there with Gazette while he helped him out. Naturally, star struck Anna agreed and proceeded to talk the boys into taking pictures with her. She was certain one day they were going to be popular and she wasn’t going to miss her opportunity.
D followed Kai out to the hallway and down several confusing turns to which he found himself finally in a back room that was loaded with various equipment. Kai pointed to the amp and opening the back door went to go fetch Lie:Death’s van. Backing into the alley, he opened the doors to the rear of the van and went to hold open the door for D as he hauled out the bulky amps with surprisingly little effort.
“Wow, you’re so strong,” Kai laughed unable to prevent himself from staring at D’s well formed and muscular body. There was a part of him that still couldn’t get over the intimidation he felt when he looked at him despite the fact that D’Marcus was in all actuality an extremely gentle person.
“That’s the last one right?” D said as he pushed the massive amp into the dark of the van, snuggling it up next to the other equipment making sure to avoid the drums set back there.
Raising his eyes to him somewhat lately, he smiled widely “Yeah, that’s it.”
It was just the two of them standing in that back alley. Most of the fans had gone home as well as a good portion of the staff and the musicians who either went back to crash after the long day or to the local bars and pubs. “Um…Kai, can I tell you something real quick.” He was smiling which meant to Kai, that whatever he was about to say that it wasn’t about them.
“Sure.”
“If you can, leave your band and go play with your friends.”
“What?” Even though Kai was smiling as usual, he didn’t find D’s suggestion light or amusing.
“Look, you don’t seem very happy with your band and not to mention, I think even though the band you are in now is better, Gazette in the end, will be more successful. I know you don’t have to believe me. I mean, what the hell do I know? I can’t even tell the difference between a bass or a guitar,” he laughed in spite of himself. “But, they are just far more entertaining and free and fun and I know that, you will be happier.”
“D…It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is.”
The smile disappeared from Kai’s face as he stared off into the alley, feeling a frustration rise in him toward what he perceived to be D’s lecturing.
“Like I said, I don’t know much about rock music or about this visual stuff but…I do know that people always tell people to follow what makes them happy and not what they will be successful at and they say that for a reason. I mean think about it, say if you do succeed and you do make some good songs or whatever, you aren’t going to be happy. And in the end, who gives a fuck if you succeed if you aren’t happy getting there?” He folded his arms and sighed. “Saying this makes me feel like I’m on one of those corny teenage dramas…” he laughed and shook his head. “Kai, I wouldn’t say anything if I didn’t think that it would be good for you.”
“I know,” Kai nodded but he was evidently upset. He knew that deep down he was right and yet at the same time, he was afraid to make the move and he was afraid for what he was risking. He really wanted to leave Lie:Death and join Gazette but at the moment, he wasn’t sure if he was brave enough. Living like this, playing in a genre like this was risk in itself. It was hard finding a band, hard staying in one, hard making money even if you did garner some popularity, you had to find the pay where you could, and the crowds could be fickle and everyone thought you were a freak or some half-made idol and no one really respected you no matter how good you played or how hard you worked. Just entering and staying in it was hard enough. But if he failed at this, what was really left for him? With Lie:Death, he would be happy enough just being able to make a living as a Visual Kei drummer, but if he left Lie:Death and joined Gazette and they in turn failed, he would have to leave Visual Kei altogether and go find himself a new dream and a new identity. But at the same time, if Gazette succeeded and he was playing with them, playing with his friends, he knew he would find his ultimate happiness. It was a gamble that nearly froze him into inaction.
“Kai, are you okay?”
Lying, he nodded. “I’m fine.”
“What about it is making you unsure?”
“The risk.”
“Sometimes you have to take a risk.”
Kai smiled sweetly and looked up at him. “I know. I understand but…that doesn’t make it an easy decision.”
“Go with your friends. You love them right?”
“I do. D…” Kai sighed. “I’m a coward,” he laughed.
“I’m a coward too,” he laughed with him. “I guess to inspire you, I’ll take a risk and say that you with those smoky eyes is kinda a turn on.” He was trying to make him laugh and to make him feel better but at the same time, he really wanted to get that off his chest.
Kai blushed and cutely buried his face in his hand, peaking out of the spaces between his fingers. Quickly, he snatched his hands away from his face and straightened up. “I don’t know why but I always act like a stupid little girl around you,” he shook his head disapprovingly at himself acting as best as he could like a mature man.
D leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. Kai closed his eyes as he felt his large soft lips press up against his brow. “I just want what’s best for you,” he whispered.
“You’re always looking out for me,” Kai forgetting where he was, reached forward and hooked his finger on the edge of D’s pants.
“That’s what you do when love someone right.” Grabbing Kai’s hand in his, he squeezed it tightly.
“You love me?” Kai couldn’t contain the smile that arched across his face.
“Isn’t it obvious?” D laughed shyly.
“You’re shaking.” He giggled and opening his eyes, looked up at him.
“I’m nervous.”
“Don’t be.” As the two of them stood alone, in an empty dirty alleyway late at night, Kai feeling as if he instead was on cloud nine, smiled beautifully up at him and said without any reservations “I love you too.”
[A/N So, I'm trying out the new posting stuff...tell me what you all think. The indentations for the paragraphs is gone and that irks me a bit because...well, I'm so used to seeing paragraphs indented!!!! I know this seems like a really long night indeed but the next part starts off with Aoi and Fuwa's scene just so you know. Also, I've been working on that one shot for my sis so I'm sorry that that has been delaying the updates for this somewhat.]