Forever & Ever 42
Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2| Part 33| Part 34| Part 35| Part 36| Part 37| Part 38| Part 39| Part 40| Part 41
“Dude, the van is just going to have to make do,” Reita folded his arms and stared at Kai defiantly. The two of them were standing in the alley near Kai’s house with an old white van, its back doors swung ajar revealing its ratty old inside with its inner walls graffitied with a crappy rendition of anime strippers and its red velvet carpet that smelled oddly like the armpit of a weightlifter-at least that’s what Reita said when he first inspected it as if he knew what the sweat glands of overly masculine massive muscular men smelled like.
“If we ride around in that people will think we play at lounges for over the hill guys with toupees,” Kai protested. The van was ugly but what was worse than its interior was what was painted on the side: a leaping tiger with thunder suspiciously positioned at its rear as if the onlooker was supposed to assume that it came out of the animal’s backside.
“GOOD GOD!” Aoi shouted as he made his way toward his friends. “What is that thing?”
“It’s our new van,” Reita explained. “Look, we need something to help us move our stuff if we plan on touring next month. Besides, I got it for free. A friend of mine needed someone to take it off his hands.”
“I can see why,” Aoi cringed.
“Well, that stupid tiger at least needs to be removed,” Kai said with a sigh. Reita was right. They had just finished recording their first single with the help of the studio time awarded them by their victory in Cat Fuzz’s Battle of the Bands and if Sakai was telling him the truth, his buddies in nearby cities were saying that word was getting around about Gazette and that if they needed stages to perform on, there were potential venues for them.
“Ohhhhhhh,” Uruha said finally making his entrance. He stood there staring at the van with his jaw slightly dropped. “So cool!!!!” The other three exchanged glances at one another as their ever bizarre lead guitarist observed the painted tiger. “How heavy metal~”
But his dreams were soon crushed. Ruki making his way over there with a cigarette in his mouth merely said “no” definitively as he passed him.
“But if we ride on this, we might get male fans…”
“Uruha, don’t argue with me. The tiger looks like he’s shitting lightning and we are a Visual Kei band, no matter how good we are, pricks won’t listen to us, Thunder Cat or no.”
Kai getting things moving despite Uruha’s evident disappointment asked “Do we know anyone who can paint this for us for cheap?”
“I can ask Nagano,” Aoi suggested.
“Alright. Ask him.” He observed his band mates as they stood there for their leader’s next call. “So…today we are supposed to be working on that song that Ruki wrote last week…Is there any news we should know about?” He scanned their faces.
“Besides the van?” Reita asked. “Hmmmm….Not that I know of.”
Silence. “Alright then!” He clapped his hands together. “Let’s get to work!”
For the time being, they were practicing at Kai’s apartment. As a consolation for the noise and clutter they made, they would do random nice things for his mother. Reita would always run up to her when she came home and tell her in a boisterous voice “Our beautiful woman is home!” And she would smile sweetly and happily at him as he brought her hot tea. Fighting against her protestations, Uruha always washed the dishes and Kai of course, cooked. Ruki, after showing her a picture of his new apartment during a discussion about her buying a sofa and finding that she had a great fondness for a piece of Fuwa’s calligraphy that he had mounted on the wall, would talk him into painting hanging scrolls for her and he would bring them periodically until she had so many that she started to give them away to her coworkers. Aoi however didn’t have to do anything to appease her. She made it quite known that he was her favorite and merely talking to him made her happy. “Oh, he is so charming!” She told Kai once over breakfast. “If I was your age, I would marry him!”
During the day however when she was at work, it was just the five of them. Sometimes Sakai would go up there and talk to them but for the most part after he had dropped them off, he would be out trying to find places for them to perform. If they were lucky they would accomplish a quarter of what they had wanted to get done, wasting most of the time goofing off and talking about the usual stupid things. The last time they had met up, they got into a long discussion over movies. As they were talking about the film “The Scorpion King” and Uruha was mentioning that it was worth seeing merely because it had a popular wrestler in it, Ruki interjected and said “I’ve seen porn with better plots.”
“You’ve actually seen it?” Kai was in disbelief.
“Mhm. Don’t ask me why.”
“I don’t like porn with too much plot,” Reita said off-handily and then their discussion became an argument of whether story was important in porn. Like Reita, Uruha didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Aoi was on the fence and Kai and Ruki however believed firmly that it was essential. And so, half a day was wasted on a rather useless topic. They left however feeling really strange when Ruki blatantly admitted that he watched really messed up pornography.
Picking up almost where they left off, Uruha as he picked up his guitar and started to tune it like he always did, mentioned to the others that he got “The Scorpion King” on VHS if anyone wanted to watch it with him.
“You can’t even pay me,” Ruki replied, jumping on any opportunity to bitch.
“We probably should get to work first before we start on this,” Aoi being the most practical person in the bunch suggested.
“But it has The Rock in it,” Uruha replied.
“SOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Aoi shouted loudly over him. “How about that song, eh?”
“He’s cool,” he went on.
“I can’t wait to work on that song….that song….you know…the one we are supposed to be working on.”
“I wonder if he Rock Bottoms anyone in it…”
The two of them were talking at the same time. Reita suppressing a laugh exchanged an amused look with Ruki.
Aoi turned to Uruha and said “Look, no one wants to watch that movie with you.”
“Really but-”
Cutting him off, Aoi volunteered as if he were a martyr “If you shut up about it, I’ll watch it with you.”
That satisfied him. In fact, it was better than he anticipated. He thought that it would be him, Reita and Kai and perhaps Ruki who wouldn’t pass up a chance to talk since Aoi didn’t really care that much for movies let alone wrestlers but the idea of sitting around watching a movie with just him in the dark felt like something someone would do with their boyfriend and from then on, the moment couldn’t come fast enough.
Discussion of the Scorpion King soon ended and was followed up almost randomly with Reita and Ruki mimicking the routine of 2 popular comedians. How they got onto the subject was completely unknown to the others but if pressed they would have said that it stemmed from a detour of Ruki’s endless chatter. By the time that Kai’s mother was home from work, they had barely progressed with the song. However, Reita and Ruki with the help of the others were able to perfect their impersonations of the two comedians and when the sweet woman walked in through the doors, she could barely settle in before a cup of hot tea was shoved into her hands and she was stuck watching the day’s only fruitful work.
It was indeed funny. What they had over the real routine was the two of them were actually cute. “Wonderful!” She laughed and clapped. “You should do that at your concerts!”
“I don’t know about that,” Kai replied with a tentative shake of the head.
“Oh, I forgot! You’re one of those serious bands. You don’t want them to know how you really are.”
“It will kill the mystery,” Ruki explained as he took his seat. “Mystery is sexy.”
“Which we aren’t!” Kai interjected throwing him a look that was meant to remind him that they were talking to his mother of all people.
Jokingly, Reita awkwardly shoved himself next to the remaining bit of seat between Ruki and the arm of the chair and said in a cool voice “Unfortunately, I’m the one saddled with that terrible burden.”
“Is that so?” Kai’s mother giggled.
“Mhm. With great sexiness comes great responsibility. Good thing I’m man enough to handle it,” he nodded slowly.
Next to him, Ruki giggled. “He’s obviously the challenged one. We let him live in his delusions. Keeps him happy.”
Turning slowly to him like a detective out of an old black and white movie, Reita asked “So, Ruki…how’s that working for you?”
“How’s what?”
“Denial.”
“Keep it up and I’ll give you a real reason to wear that bandage on your face,” he said in between his laughter.
“Like a true Napoleon, kill off all the people that go against YOUR delusions!”
“Awwww, leave his size alone,” Kai’s mother interjected. “It’s cute.”
Ruki with a devious smile added “Yeah, you heard that, it’s cute.”
“I guess Tiny Tyrants are cute.”
“Well, it’s going on 6,” Kai said as he got to his feet. “And I am supposed to meet up with a friend in an hour so you guys need to be on your way. Aoi, here’s the keys for the van.” He tossed them towards him. “I think it has half a tank of gas.”
“Pfff! Kicking us out!” Reita narrowed his eyes playfully at him. “Who is more important than us?”
“D probably,” Uruha answered as he got to his feet as well. “Aoi will you drive me home?”
“Sure. Who else needs a ride?”
“We all do most likely,” Ruki replied and with a bow said “Thank you for letting us use your apartment, Aunty.” They had all begun to call her Aunty except for Aoi; she insisted that he called her by her given name Fusayo.
“One of these days Yutaka, you should invite your friend D here. You are always going out and visiting him. He must be tired of cooking for you,” his mother suggested warmly. The boys all smiled knowingly to themselves.
“Sure mom, one day,” Kai lied. “Now everyone, buh bye!” Almost as if he were herding cattle, he shoved them almost against their will out the door.
“PFFFF!” Reita let out as if he were pipe letting out steam. “PFFFFFFFF!”
“I can’t believe she doesn’t know that he is dating that guy.” Ruki pulled out a cigarette and lit it sending in motion a chain of similar actions by the other 3 nicotine fiends as they made their way to the snazzy Thunder Cat van.
“I can’t imagine how that conversation would go,” Aoi said with a laugh. “Hey mom, I’m dating a man and he’s a big black American guy.”
Replying seriously, Uruha said “She seems nice enough to be understanding.”
“She does,” Aoi agreed. “But nevertheless, she would still be shocked. I mean, it’s not at all expected right?”
Ruki pursed his lips as he listened to Aoi talking, knowing that if he were to tell them about him and Fuwa, they would be even more surprised than Kai’s mother would be at knowing about D’Marcus and he wondered how that would affect his relationship with them. He didn’t have the patience or the temperance to deal with being treated as a freak especially by those he considered his friends and he feared that their reactions would only in turn, make him angry. “Kai’s happy with him. That’s all that matters,” Ruki said, tying up the conversation. “Can you take me home first? I have to cook dinner.”
“Sure thing,” Aoi replied. “You first, then Reita, then I’ll drop Uruha off unless he wants to watch that stupid movie tonight.”
“I do,” he quickly answered. “I do.”
“Don’t be mad if I pass out on the couch,” Aoi said as he climbed into the driver’s seat. Ruki made his way for the passenger but Uruha without even looking at him, got the seat first forcing Reita and Ruki to sit on the questionable red velvet carpet in the back wondering if by chance they could get an STD merely by contact.
“If you get tired, you can sleep on my bed.”
Aoi chuckled at Uruha’s attempts at not being obvious. Looking at him with a charming smirk, he said “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”
***
Ruki was surprised to find that when he arrived home, dinner was already cooked and Akira, already in the kitchen ran up to him and standing on his hind legs greeted the young man with eager and loving yelps.
“Fuwa?” he called out as he pet the pup scratching him behind his fuzzy yellow ears. “I’m home.”
“I’m in the study,” he replied from across the apartment and within moments, Ruki had made his way back there astounded by the fact that he was no longer lying in bed. He instead was sitting as his desk with his pen in hand, writing. Hearing Ruki enter the room, Fuwa turned around and smiled at him. “How was your day?”
“Great,” he quickly replied. “You’re up and doing things….”
“Mhm. Does that bother you?” he laughed.
“No. Not at all. I’m happy about it. I really am. Why wouldn’t I be?” he smiled warmly and made his way farther into the room and placed a kiss on Fuwa’s cheek. “Are you working on your book?”
“I am,” he said with a happy sigh. “Dinner is done.”
“I saw.”
“Ruki, I’ve been thinking-”
Before he could continue, he cut him off. “I don’t want to pick up on that discussion we had the other day.”
“That’s not it. But be that as it may, the fact still stands that I should act like a man my age and take on my responsibilities. You’re too young to deal with everything…”
“You want to clean?” Ruki giggled.
He lifted up a finger. “No, that’s your job. Besides, you love doing it.”
“Okay,” he rested his chin on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his chest. “I’m happy that you are feeling better, baby.” Reaching over, he plucked the pen out of Fuwa’s hand. “Take a break.”
“I suppose I have no choice now.”
“You don’t.”
“I think I am going to protest against your rule,” Fuwa smiled.
“Fine, I don’t want your attention.” He playfully shoved the pen back into his hand. “I see…you don’t love me.”
“Awww! Are you throwing a fit?”
Reluctantly he replied with a pout “Yes” and unable to keep up the acting, he smiled cutely.
“Go eat before your food gets cold.”
“Not hungry.”
“Of course not. You wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to torture me.”
“You know I wouldn’t. It’s my favorite pastime.”
“Ruki, you really need to stop using your cuteness for gain. It’s evil.”
“Evil?”
“Evil.”
“Evil?” he giggled and with a quick motion, grabbed at his crotch.
Slapping his hand away, Fuwa affirmatively chided “No, no, no, no.” the way one would speak to a child or an animal. “That is not going to happen.”
For a moment, Ruki considered arguing but realizing that that would only sour the mood, he thought against it and instead pressed his lips against his ear and slowly kissed him. “Take a break. I want to talk to you,” he whispered. Against the skin of his ear, Fuwa could feel the words forming on his lips knowing that Ruki had meant it to be sexual and erotic.
“About what?”
“I just want to talk.” Quickly standing up straightly, Ruki patted his shoulder. “Get up and let’s go to the living room where it’s more comfortable.” Without waiting for a response, the young man left and threw himself on the sofa.
“How far did you get with your song?” Fuwa asked as he made his way there. He sat neatly at the opposite end away from Ruki and crossed his legs.
With a laugh, he replied “Not very far.”
“It’s probably best that you don’t overwork yourself. How are the others by the way?”
Ruki took a while to answer. Tilting his head he pouted as he thought about his question. “Hmmmmmmm…Aoi for one seems a lot better. He got his own apartment and he is nice and playful kinda like he used to be. He even looks healthier…Um…Uruha though doesn’t look to good though but he’s surprisingly a tough guy. Like everyone else, I don’t think he understands why Aoi broke up with him…Kai,” he chuckled. “Kai is high strung but when is he not and Reita is good.”
“And everything with the band is good?”
“Yeah, we got a van but it needs a lot of work. But for the most part, things are looking up. We might even tour the area.”
“One day I want to see a show of yours.”
Kicking him with the tip of his toe, Ruki objected. “No,” he said in a cute whiney voice.
“Why not?” he asked even though he knew why.
“You’re Fuwa that’s why. Don’t ask me anymore about it.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Changing the subject, he inquired “Are you working this fall?”
“I’m thinking about it. I probably should let the school know soon though.”
“Personally I think you should take the semester off and finish your book and spend more time with me.”
“I hate to tell you this but Ruki, you’re the only friend I have,” he replied with a chuckle. “So, you get all my time.”
“Lies. You have a lot of friends.”
“When you get to be my age, you don’t go hanging out as much besides I’ve always been the type to sit around alone.”
“Yeah, you don’t strike me as the type that goes to bars to watch the game with the guys,” he joked.
“Hardly.”
“That’s fine. I’m possessive anyway,” he said in his humorously monotone voice as he brought his cigarette to his lips coolly.
“Um…Ruki, does Reita know?”
“Know what?”
“About…well…us?” Fuwa was still unsure about their new relationship. There was still a part of him that was reluctant despite the strength of his feelings for him. Ruki was young and because of his youth, he was naïve and bright-eyed enough to blindly go forward without questioning anything, following passionately the thing that he loved and the thing that he wanted. Fuwa at once admired and loved this about him and at the same time envied his relentless childlike naivety.
“No, I haven’t said anything to anyone…I thought it was too soon…” Ruki watched the smoke from his cigarette trail upward. “I don’t think anyone would really understand…and to be honest, I don’t want to deal with them being weirded out or wondering what they are thinking about us…you know what I mean?” He shifted his gaze to him.
“I know what you mean.”
“But I don’t care. I don’t care if they think we’re freaks. I don’t care what anyone thinks. If it bothers them, they can all fuck off.”
Fuwa looked down and smiled, amused and touched by Ruki’s characteristic aggression and pride. “They are your friends…”
“Yeah…well, if this bothers them, they can friendly fuck off.”
“And Reita? Since he was with you at one point?”
“He’s actually the last one I’m worried about…”
“Hm,” Fuwa folded his arms. “I see what you mean. He’s a very kind person with a big heart,” he said almost as if it just occurred to him.
“I guess the evil in me is attracted to good guys like you and Reita,” he said with a laugh as he took a final drag from his cigarette. “We’ll see,” and with that, he put out his cigarette and ended the conversation. He didn’t want to talk about them like this anymore. Isao’s death among other things taught him that life was short and that at any moment, the thing you loved could disappear. While they were both healthy and alive, he wanted their moments together to be happy and peaceful free of bitterness, anger or regret. “Did you walk Akira?”
“I did. He almost got me in trouble with that woman down the street. He keeps eating her flowers.”
Ruki smiled to himself. “The lady with that weird mullet?”
“I guess you can say that…Well, she pounded on her window infuriated after he ate some of the blossoms. I think the most amusing thing about the situation was the fact that I bowed deeply like a fool.”
The young man laughed as he crawled toward him lazily. Picking up the dead weight of Fuwa’s arm, he buried himself next to him and the back of the sofa and let the heavy limb drop over him like a blanket. “Sounds like something you would do,” he said sleepily as he closed his eyes and snuggled his face next to Fuwa’s side.
In a low comforting voice, the older man suddenly cooed “You’re a better person than you give yourself credit for.” He ran his fingers through his dyed blonde hair, petting Ruki as he nodded off. With a soft peck on his forehead, he said “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“There’s no need to thank me,” he mumbled and just as he was about to fall asleep, he added “isn’t that what you do when you love someone…”
***
The city night around them was immersed in silence, yellow street lights, and lit neon signs. As they drove in that old beat up van with the radio playing softly between them, the signs turned from white to blue to pink to green.
At a red light, Aoi made a stop and then smiled to himself as a memory came back to him. With a short laugh, he said with great significance “Lights.”
His voice woke Uruha from his daze and he turned to look at him with wide eyes. “Huh?”
“Oh, do you remember that night we beat up that guy Gabriel and we ran down to that park?”
“I remember.”
“And you were talking about the street lights-or are they called traffic lights? Whatever,” he smiled as the memory played back to him and filled him with bittersweet nostalgia. Him, Uruha and Ruki swinging in the dead of night like a bunch of hoodlum kids. “And you said that it would be…” He didn’t want to finish. “Nevermind.”
“Wouldn’t be nice if people could love like streetlights?”
With his eyes on the road and the light now green, he began to drive. “Yeah.”
Uruha stared forward and without any fear he admitted. “I love you like that.” With a nod, he repeated. “I love you like that. Do you remember when you pushed me down the stairs?”
“How could I forget…”
“And before that you said you wanted to be loved-that you wanted to be the sun in someone’s sky or something like that…And…”
“And I was wrong,” he suddenly said turning to look at him.
“Huh?”
“I was wrong. I didn’t think you did and I was wrong. I’ve never been good to you, Uruha.”
“That’s not true.”
“I’ve doubted you, yelled at you, hurt you, hit you…”
Uruha looked down at his hands. He was never good with words and whenever Aoi spoke like this, he felt his inability as if it were a physical handicap and at times, he grew so frustrated with himself that he was nearly brought to tears.
“About that night with that guy…I’m sorry about that. It isn’t my place. You can be with whoever you want to be with.”
“I only took him home because he flirts like you,” he admitted without the slightest bit of embarrassment. The honesty however fell painfully on Aoi’s ears.
“Uruha…”
“I’m never going to get used to anything but you.”
“Uruha, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry. I’ve done everything wrong and I wish you could just understand that I’ve been trying to make things right.”
Another red light.
“I know. If you need me, I’ll be here, Aoi. If you feel lonely at night, you can always come by and I won’t hold it against you. You can spend the night with me and in the morning act like nothing happened. I’d be okay with it.”
Aoi watched the side of his face as the light fell over his face like a cherry colored shadow.
“I’ll wait until everything is right,” he said.
“Uruha…”
He looked up at him and with a nod, repeated “I’ll wait. Whatever you need to do, I’ll wait. I’ll wait. I can wait.”
Aoi smiled a thin sad smile at him and even as the light turned green, he didn’t look away from his face. “Why are you so good to me? Sometimes I think you’re crazy. You’d follow me into hell wouldn’t you?”
“I would but if there is a hell,” he said as it they weren’t at all talking romantically but as if they were dealing with facts. “I don’t think you would go there.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” Aoi laughed and then looking back at the road began to drive again.
“You have big heart.”
Hearing those words, Aoi suddenly felt something swell within him as if Uruha were speaking to that inner child, the one that everyone has hidden inside of them, the one that still held on tightly to the sweet blissful memories of childhood, that felt with pain still one’s first heartbreak, the one that is afraid of losing their mother, of being lost or forgotten. And for Aoi, he didn’t realize that those words would mean so much to him, he didn’t realize that for so long, he doubted himself and even when he grew to love himself, there still remained inside of him that child that needed to be praised, that needed to be loved. “Uruha,” he said with much difficulty. “I’m going to take a trip this weekend. Would you like to come with me?”
“Where are we going?”
“I realized what I need to do. Funnily enough, it’s because of you but…” He took a pause and fighting back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, closed his eyes. Feeling Uruha’s hand on his, he opened them and smiling at him said “I’m going back to Mie to take my mother back.”
“Your mother?”
“Mhm. You didn’t give up on me. I’m not going to give up on her.”
Uruha looked down and nodded. “I’m the one that will follow you anywhere, remember?”
“I remember.”
[A/N Sorry for the late ass update. I've been so fkn tired these days. >.< I hope you enjoy the chappy though. ^^]
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6| Part 7.1| Part 7.2| Part 8.1| Part 8.2| Part 9| Part 10| Part 11| Part 12| Part 13| Part 14| Part 15| Part 16| Part 17| Part 18| Part 19| Part 20| Part 21| Part 22| Part 23| Part 24| Part 25| Part 26| Part 27| Part 28| Part 29| Part 30.1| Part 30.2| Part 31| Part 32.1| Part 32.2| Part 33| Part 34| Part 35| Part 36| Part 37| Part 38| Part 39| Part 40| Part 41
“Dude, the van is just going to have to make do,” Reita folded his arms and stared at Kai defiantly. The two of them were standing in the alley near Kai’s house with an old white van, its back doors swung ajar revealing its ratty old inside with its inner walls graffitied with a crappy rendition of anime strippers and its red velvet carpet that smelled oddly like the armpit of a weightlifter-at least that’s what Reita said when he first inspected it as if he knew what the sweat glands of overly masculine massive muscular men smelled like.
“If we ride around in that people will think we play at lounges for over the hill guys with toupees,” Kai protested. The van was ugly but what was worse than its interior was what was painted on the side: a leaping tiger with thunder suspiciously positioned at its rear as if the onlooker was supposed to assume that it came out of the animal’s backside.
“GOOD GOD!” Aoi shouted as he made his way toward his friends. “What is that thing?”
“It’s our new van,” Reita explained. “Look, we need something to help us move our stuff if we plan on touring next month. Besides, I got it for free. A friend of mine needed someone to take it off his hands.”
“I can see why,” Aoi cringed.
“Well, that stupid tiger at least needs to be removed,” Kai said with a sigh. Reita was right. They had just finished recording their first single with the help of the studio time awarded them by their victory in Cat Fuzz’s Battle of the Bands and if Sakai was telling him the truth, his buddies in nearby cities were saying that word was getting around about Gazette and that if they needed stages to perform on, there were potential venues for them.
“Ohhhhhhh,” Uruha said finally making his entrance. He stood there staring at the van with his jaw slightly dropped. “So cool!!!!” The other three exchanged glances at one another as their ever bizarre lead guitarist observed the painted tiger. “How heavy metal~”
But his dreams were soon crushed. Ruki making his way over there with a cigarette in his mouth merely said “no” definitively as he passed him.
“But if we ride on this, we might get male fans…”
“Uruha, don’t argue with me. The tiger looks like he’s shitting lightning and we are a Visual Kei band, no matter how good we are, pricks won’t listen to us, Thunder Cat or no.”
Kai getting things moving despite Uruha’s evident disappointment asked “Do we know anyone who can paint this for us for cheap?”
“I can ask Nagano,” Aoi suggested.
“Alright. Ask him.” He observed his band mates as they stood there for their leader’s next call. “So…today we are supposed to be working on that song that Ruki wrote last week…Is there any news we should know about?” He scanned their faces.
“Besides the van?” Reita asked. “Hmmmm….Not that I know of.”
Silence. “Alright then!” He clapped his hands together. “Let’s get to work!”
For the time being, they were practicing at Kai’s apartment. As a consolation for the noise and clutter they made, they would do random nice things for his mother. Reita would always run up to her when she came home and tell her in a boisterous voice “Our beautiful woman is home!” And she would smile sweetly and happily at him as he brought her hot tea. Fighting against her protestations, Uruha always washed the dishes and Kai of course, cooked. Ruki, after showing her a picture of his new apartment during a discussion about her buying a sofa and finding that she had a great fondness for a piece of Fuwa’s calligraphy that he had mounted on the wall, would talk him into painting hanging scrolls for her and he would bring them periodically until she had so many that she started to give them away to her coworkers. Aoi however didn’t have to do anything to appease her. She made it quite known that he was her favorite and merely talking to him made her happy. “Oh, he is so charming!” She told Kai once over breakfast. “If I was your age, I would marry him!”
During the day however when she was at work, it was just the five of them. Sometimes Sakai would go up there and talk to them but for the most part after he had dropped them off, he would be out trying to find places for them to perform. If they were lucky they would accomplish a quarter of what they had wanted to get done, wasting most of the time goofing off and talking about the usual stupid things. The last time they had met up, they got into a long discussion over movies. As they were talking about the film “The Scorpion King” and Uruha was mentioning that it was worth seeing merely because it had a popular wrestler in it, Ruki interjected and said “I’ve seen porn with better plots.”
“You’ve actually seen it?” Kai was in disbelief.
“Mhm. Don’t ask me why.”
“I don’t like porn with too much plot,” Reita said off-handily and then their discussion became an argument of whether story was important in porn. Like Reita, Uruha didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Aoi was on the fence and Kai and Ruki however believed firmly that it was essential. And so, half a day was wasted on a rather useless topic. They left however feeling really strange when Ruki blatantly admitted that he watched really messed up pornography.
Picking up almost where they left off, Uruha as he picked up his guitar and started to tune it like he always did, mentioned to the others that he got “The Scorpion King” on VHS if anyone wanted to watch it with him.
“You can’t even pay me,” Ruki replied, jumping on any opportunity to bitch.
“We probably should get to work first before we start on this,” Aoi being the most practical person in the bunch suggested.
“But it has The Rock in it,” Uruha replied.
“SOOOOOOOOOOOO,” Aoi shouted loudly over him. “How about that song, eh?”
“He’s cool,” he went on.
“I can’t wait to work on that song….that song….you know…the one we are supposed to be working on.”
“I wonder if he Rock Bottoms anyone in it…”
The two of them were talking at the same time. Reita suppressing a laugh exchanged an amused look with Ruki.
Aoi turned to Uruha and said “Look, no one wants to watch that movie with you.”
“Really but-”
Cutting him off, Aoi volunteered as if he were a martyr “If you shut up about it, I’ll watch it with you.”
That satisfied him. In fact, it was better than he anticipated. He thought that it would be him, Reita and Kai and perhaps Ruki who wouldn’t pass up a chance to talk since Aoi didn’t really care that much for movies let alone wrestlers but the idea of sitting around watching a movie with just him in the dark felt like something someone would do with their boyfriend and from then on, the moment couldn’t come fast enough.
Discussion of the Scorpion King soon ended and was followed up almost randomly with Reita and Ruki mimicking the routine of 2 popular comedians. How they got onto the subject was completely unknown to the others but if pressed they would have said that it stemmed from a detour of Ruki’s endless chatter. By the time that Kai’s mother was home from work, they had barely progressed with the song. However, Reita and Ruki with the help of the others were able to perfect their impersonations of the two comedians and when the sweet woman walked in through the doors, she could barely settle in before a cup of hot tea was shoved into her hands and she was stuck watching the day’s only fruitful work.
It was indeed funny. What they had over the real routine was the two of them were actually cute. “Wonderful!” She laughed and clapped. “You should do that at your concerts!”
“I don’t know about that,” Kai replied with a tentative shake of the head.
“Oh, I forgot! You’re one of those serious bands. You don’t want them to know how you really are.”
“It will kill the mystery,” Ruki explained as he took his seat. “Mystery is sexy.”
“Which we aren’t!” Kai interjected throwing him a look that was meant to remind him that they were talking to his mother of all people.
Jokingly, Reita awkwardly shoved himself next to the remaining bit of seat between Ruki and the arm of the chair and said in a cool voice “Unfortunately, I’m the one saddled with that terrible burden.”
“Is that so?” Kai’s mother giggled.
“Mhm. With great sexiness comes great responsibility. Good thing I’m man enough to handle it,” he nodded slowly.
Next to him, Ruki giggled. “He’s obviously the challenged one. We let him live in his delusions. Keeps him happy.”
Turning slowly to him like a detective out of an old black and white movie, Reita asked “So, Ruki…how’s that working for you?”
“How’s what?”
“Denial.”
“Keep it up and I’ll give you a real reason to wear that bandage on your face,” he said in between his laughter.
“Like a true Napoleon, kill off all the people that go against YOUR delusions!”
“Awwww, leave his size alone,” Kai’s mother interjected. “It’s cute.”
Ruki with a devious smile added “Yeah, you heard that, it’s cute.”
“I guess Tiny Tyrants are cute.”
“Well, it’s going on 6,” Kai said as he got to his feet. “And I am supposed to meet up with a friend in an hour so you guys need to be on your way. Aoi, here’s the keys for the van.” He tossed them towards him. “I think it has half a tank of gas.”
“Pfff! Kicking us out!” Reita narrowed his eyes playfully at him. “Who is more important than us?”
“D probably,” Uruha answered as he got to his feet as well. “Aoi will you drive me home?”
“Sure. Who else needs a ride?”
“We all do most likely,” Ruki replied and with a bow said “Thank you for letting us use your apartment, Aunty.” They had all begun to call her Aunty except for Aoi; she insisted that he called her by her given name Fusayo.
“One of these days Yutaka, you should invite your friend D here. You are always going out and visiting him. He must be tired of cooking for you,” his mother suggested warmly. The boys all smiled knowingly to themselves.
“Sure mom, one day,” Kai lied. “Now everyone, buh bye!” Almost as if he were herding cattle, he shoved them almost against their will out the door.
“PFFFF!” Reita let out as if he were pipe letting out steam. “PFFFFFFFF!”
“I can’t believe she doesn’t know that he is dating that guy.” Ruki pulled out a cigarette and lit it sending in motion a chain of similar actions by the other 3 nicotine fiends as they made their way to the snazzy Thunder Cat van.
“I can’t imagine how that conversation would go,” Aoi said with a laugh. “Hey mom, I’m dating a man and he’s a big black American guy.”
Replying seriously, Uruha said “She seems nice enough to be understanding.”
“She does,” Aoi agreed. “But nevertheless, she would still be shocked. I mean, it’s not at all expected right?”
Ruki pursed his lips as he listened to Aoi talking, knowing that if he were to tell them about him and Fuwa, they would be even more surprised than Kai’s mother would be at knowing about D’Marcus and he wondered how that would affect his relationship with them. He didn’t have the patience or the temperance to deal with being treated as a freak especially by those he considered his friends and he feared that their reactions would only in turn, make him angry. “Kai’s happy with him. That’s all that matters,” Ruki said, tying up the conversation. “Can you take me home first? I have to cook dinner.”
“Sure thing,” Aoi replied. “You first, then Reita, then I’ll drop Uruha off unless he wants to watch that stupid movie tonight.”
“I do,” he quickly answered. “I do.”
“Don’t be mad if I pass out on the couch,” Aoi said as he climbed into the driver’s seat. Ruki made his way for the passenger but Uruha without even looking at him, got the seat first forcing Reita and Ruki to sit on the questionable red velvet carpet in the back wondering if by chance they could get an STD merely by contact.
“If you get tired, you can sleep on my bed.”
Aoi chuckled at Uruha’s attempts at not being obvious. Looking at him with a charming smirk, he said “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”
***
Ruki was surprised to find that when he arrived home, dinner was already cooked and Akira, already in the kitchen ran up to him and standing on his hind legs greeted the young man with eager and loving yelps.
“Fuwa?” he called out as he pet the pup scratching him behind his fuzzy yellow ears. “I’m home.”
“I’m in the study,” he replied from across the apartment and within moments, Ruki had made his way back there astounded by the fact that he was no longer lying in bed. He instead was sitting as his desk with his pen in hand, writing. Hearing Ruki enter the room, Fuwa turned around and smiled at him. “How was your day?”
“Great,” he quickly replied. “You’re up and doing things….”
“Mhm. Does that bother you?” he laughed.
“No. Not at all. I’m happy about it. I really am. Why wouldn’t I be?” he smiled warmly and made his way farther into the room and placed a kiss on Fuwa’s cheek. “Are you working on your book?”
“I am,” he said with a happy sigh. “Dinner is done.”
“I saw.”
“Ruki, I’ve been thinking-”
Before he could continue, he cut him off. “I don’t want to pick up on that discussion we had the other day.”
“That’s not it. But be that as it may, the fact still stands that I should act like a man my age and take on my responsibilities. You’re too young to deal with everything…”
“You want to clean?” Ruki giggled.
He lifted up a finger. “No, that’s your job. Besides, you love doing it.”
“Okay,” he rested his chin on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around his chest. “I’m happy that you are feeling better, baby.” Reaching over, he plucked the pen out of Fuwa’s hand. “Take a break.”
“I suppose I have no choice now.”
“You don’t.”
“I think I am going to protest against your rule,” Fuwa smiled.
“Fine, I don’t want your attention.” He playfully shoved the pen back into his hand. “I see…you don’t love me.”
“Awww! Are you throwing a fit?”
Reluctantly he replied with a pout “Yes” and unable to keep up the acting, he smiled cutely.
“Go eat before your food gets cold.”
“Not hungry.”
“Of course not. You wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to torture me.”
“You know I wouldn’t. It’s my favorite pastime.”
“Ruki, you really need to stop using your cuteness for gain. It’s evil.”
“Evil?”
“Evil.”
“Evil?” he giggled and with a quick motion, grabbed at his crotch.
Slapping his hand away, Fuwa affirmatively chided “No, no, no, no.” the way one would speak to a child or an animal. “That is not going to happen.”
For a moment, Ruki considered arguing but realizing that that would only sour the mood, he thought against it and instead pressed his lips against his ear and slowly kissed him. “Take a break. I want to talk to you,” he whispered. Against the skin of his ear, Fuwa could feel the words forming on his lips knowing that Ruki had meant it to be sexual and erotic.
“About what?”
“I just want to talk.” Quickly standing up straightly, Ruki patted his shoulder. “Get up and let’s go to the living room where it’s more comfortable.” Without waiting for a response, the young man left and threw himself on the sofa.
“How far did you get with your song?” Fuwa asked as he made his way there. He sat neatly at the opposite end away from Ruki and crossed his legs.
With a laugh, he replied “Not very far.”
“It’s probably best that you don’t overwork yourself. How are the others by the way?”
Ruki took a while to answer. Tilting his head he pouted as he thought about his question. “Hmmmmmmm…Aoi for one seems a lot better. He got his own apartment and he is nice and playful kinda like he used to be. He even looks healthier…Um…Uruha though doesn’t look to good though but he’s surprisingly a tough guy. Like everyone else, I don’t think he understands why Aoi broke up with him…Kai,” he chuckled. “Kai is high strung but when is he not and Reita is good.”
“And everything with the band is good?”
“Yeah, we got a van but it needs a lot of work. But for the most part, things are looking up. We might even tour the area.”
“One day I want to see a show of yours.”
Kicking him with the tip of his toe, Ruki objected. “No,” he said in a cute whiney voice.
“Why not?” he asked even though he knew why.
“You’re Fuwa that’s why. Don’t ask me anymore about it.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Changing the subject, he inquired “Are you working this fall?”
“I’m thinking about it. I probably should let the school know soon though.”
“Personally I think you should take the semester off and finish your book and spend more time with me.”
“I hate to tell you this but Ruki, you’re the only friend I have,” he replied with a chuckle. “So, you get all my time.”
“Lies. You have a lot of friends.”
“When you get to be my age, you don’t go hanging out as much besides I’ve always been the type to sit around alone.”
“Yeah, you don’t strike me as the type that goes to bars to watch the game with the guys,” he joked.
“Hardly.”
“That’s fine. I’m possessive anyway,” he said in his humorously monotone voice as he brought his cigarette to his lips coolly.
“Um…Ruki, does Reita know?”
“Know what?”
“About…well…us?” Fuwa was still unsure about their new relationship. There was still a part of him that was reluctant despite the strength of his feelings for him. Ruki was young and because of his youth, he was naïve and bright-eyed enough to blindly go forward without questioning anything, following passionately the thing that he loved and the thing that he wanted. Fuwa at once admired and loved this about him and at the same time envied his relentless childlike naivety.
“No, I haven’t said anything to anyone…I thought it was too soon…” Ruki watched the smoke from his cigarette trail upward. “I don’t think anyone would really understand…and to be honest, I don’t want to deal with them being weirded out or wondering what they are thinking about us…you know what I mean?” He shifted his gaze to him.
“I know what you mean.”
“But I don’t care. I don’t care if they think we’re freaks. I don’t care what anyone thinks. If it bothers them, they can all fuck off.”
Fuwa looked down and smiled, amused and touched by Ruki’s characteristic aggression and pride. “They are your friends…”
“Yeah…well, if this bothers them, they can friendly fuck off.”
“And Reita? Since he was with you at one point?”
“He’s actually the last one I’m worried about…”
“Hm,” Fuwa folded his arms. “I see what you mean. He’s a very kind person with a big heart,” he said almost as if it just occurred to him.
“I guess the evil in me is attracted to good guys like you and Reita,” he said with a laugh as he took a final drag from his cigarette. “We’ll see,” and with that, he put out his cigarette and ended the conversation. He didn’t want to talk about them like this anymore. Isao’s death among other things taught him that life was short and that at any moment, the thing you loved could disappear. While they were both healthy and alive, he wanted their moments together to be happy and peaceful free of bitterness, anger or regret. “Did you walk Akira?”
“I did. He almost got me in trouble with that woman down the street. He keeps eating her flowers.”
Ruki smiled to himself. “The lady with that weird mullet?”
“I guess you can say that…Well, she pounded on her window infuriated after he ate some of the blossoms. I think the most amusing thing about the situation was the fact that I bowed deeply like a fool.”
The young man laughed as he crawled toward him lazily. Picking up the dead weight of Fuwa’s arm, he buried himself next to him and the back of the sofa and let the heavy limb drop over him like a blanket. “Sounds like something you would do,” he said sleepily as he closed his eyes and snuggled his face next to Fuwa’s side.
In a low comforting voice, the older man suddenly cooed “You’re a better person than you give yourself credit for.” He ran his fingers through his dyed blonde hair, petting Ruki as he nodded off. With a soft peck on his forehead, he said “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“There’s no need to thank me,” he mumbled and just as he was about to fall asleep, he added “isn’t that what you do when you love someone…”
***
The city night around them was immersed in silence, yellow street lights, and lit neon signs. As they drove in that old beat up van with the radio playing softly between them, the signs turned from white to blue to pink to green.
At a red light, Aoi made a stop and then smiled to himself as a memory came back to him. With a short laugh, he said with great significance “Lights.”
His voice woke Uruha from his daze and he turned to look at him with wide eyes. “Huh?”
“Oh, do you remember that night we beat up that guy Gabriel and we ran down to that park?”
“I remember.”
“And you were talking about the street lights-or are they called traffic lights? Whatever,” he smiled as the memory played back to him and filled him with bittersweet nostalgia. Him, Uruha and Ruki swinging in the dead of night like a bunch of hoodlum kids. “And you said that it would be…” He didn’t want to finish. “Nevermind.”
“Wouldn’t be nice if people could love like streetlights?”
With his eyes on the road and the light now green, he began to drive. “Yeah.”
Uruha stared forward and without any fear he admitted. “I love you like that.” With a nod, he repeated. “I love you like that. Do you remember when you pushed me down the stairs?”
“How could I forget…”
“And before that you said you wanted to be loved-that you wanted to be the sun in someone’s sky or something like that…And…”
“And I was wrong,” he suddenly said turning to look at him.
“Huh?”
“I was wrong. I didn’t think you did and I was wrong. I’ve never been good to you, Uruha.”
“That’s not true.”
“I’ve doubted you, yelled at you, hurt you, hit you…”
Uruha looked down at his hands. He was never good with words and whenever Aoi spoke like this, he felt his inability as if it were a physical handicap and at times, he grew so frustrated with himself that he was nearly brought to tears.
“About that night with that guy…I’m sorry about that. It isn’t my place. You can be with whoever you want to be with.”
“I only took him home because he flirts like you,” he admitted without the slightest bit of embarrassment. The honesty however fell painfully on Aoi’s ears.
“Uruha…”
“I’m never going to get used to anything but you.”
“Uruha, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry. I’ve done everything wrong and I wish you could just understand that I’ve been trying to make things right.”
Another red light.
“I know. If you need me, I’ll be here, Aoi. If you feel lonely at night, you can always come by and I won’t hold it against you. You can spend the night with me and in the morning act like nothing happened. I’d be okay with it.”
Aoi watched the side of his face as the light fell over his face like a cherry colored shadow.
“I’ll wait until everything is right,” he said.
“Uruha…”
He looked up at him and with a nod, repeated “I’ll wait. Whatever you need to do, I’ll wait. I’ll wait. I can wait.”
Aoi smiled a thin sad smile at him and even as the light turned green, he didn’t look away from his face. “Why are you so good to me? Sometimes I think you’re crazy. You’d follow me into hell wouldn’t you?”
“I would but if there is a hell,” he said as it they weren’t at all talking romantically but as if they were dealing with facts. “I don’t think you would go there.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” Aoi laughed and then looking back at the road began to drive again.
“You have big heart.”
Hearing those words, Aoi suddenly felt something swell within him as if Uruha were speaking to that inner child, the one that everyone has hidden inside of them, the one that still held on tightly to the sweet blissful memories of childhood, that felt with pain still one’s first heartbreak, the one that is afraid of losing their mother, of being lost or forgotten. And for Aoi, he didn’t realize that those words would mean so much to him, he didn’t realize that for so long, he doubted himself and even when he grew to love himself, there still remained inside of him that child that needed to be praised, that needed to be loved. “Uruha,” he said with much difficulty. “I’m going to take a trip this weekend. Would you like to come with me?”
“Where are we going?”
“I realized what I need to do. Funnily enough, it’s because of you but…” He took a pause and fighting back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, closed his eyes. Feeling Uruha’s hand on his, he opened them and smiling at him said “I’m going back to Mie to take my mother back.”
“Your mother?”
“Mhm. You didn’t give up on me. I’m not going to give up on her.”
Uruha looked down and nodded. “I’m the one that will follow you anywhere, remember?”
“I remember.”
[A/N Sorry for the late ass update. I've been so fkn tired these days. >.< I hope you enjoy the chappy though. ^^]